-1The Serpens Order

Chapter 37

What Doesn't Kill You

"If I told you the truth I wouldn't be lying, and lying is what I do best" - Alexis Malfoy

James Pov:

James didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, head in his hands and staring down at the white floor. Draco was sitting in the chair beside him, looking exactly the same. He might have been there for days, or it might have been minutes. Without Alexis he lost all track of time.

After some time people started showing up, Fred was the first, he had a severe concussion but refused to let the healers take care of it as long as they didn't know if Alexis was going to survive or not. Then Scorpius turned up, together with a wounded Ash and a crying Estelle. James didn't ask them what was wrong.

Then his parents and Lily came, Lily sat down beside him and took his hand, James didn't even glance at her.

When Alexis mother came together with Mr. Montague James couldn't help but hear the news. Isidore Nott and his mother had been killed. James didn't care.

The door to Alexis room didn't open, even though the all stared at it. Fred had phased up and down the corridor until he fell over, and Ginny had forced him to get healed. James saw his father's strangled expression, he knew he felt guilty, but it was nothing against the guilt James felt.

Alexis was dying only a few feet away from him, he could just stand up and walk over to the door and force himself in. But they'd told him to wait.

It was dark outside when the door finally opened again, and a green clad healer stepped out, James tried not to look at the blood on his shirt.

"How is she?" Everyone shot up immediately, and the healer took a deep breath.

"She's recovering"

James had never felt so relieved in his whole life, a stone had lifted from his chest. Alexis was alive, she was going to survive. He could fix this, he could fix her. Beside him Lily fell to the floor in exhaustion, as Mrs. Malfoy leaned against the wall. Everyone took in the news, at this moment they didn't despise each other, or think about the fact that they'd just cooperated. They all just thought about Alexis. Beautiful, brave, lying and perfect Alexis.

"Can we see her?" James asked, he didn't recognize his voice, and he realized that he'd been crying. The healer turned to him, looking him over.

"She's sleeping and she won't be waking up for a while. Only family is allowed"

"That would be us" Draco pulled his wife close to him as Scorpius joined them, the healer nodded.

"Everyone else will have to leave-"

"No we can't just leave, I have to see her!" James protested, feeling anger flash up inside him, his fathers hand closed in round his shoulder.

"James we can see her later-"

"NO! I have to stay-"

"If you don't leave now I will have security escort you out" The healer replied calmly, and James glared daggers at him.

"You can't stop me from seeing Alexis"

"What makes you think she'll want to see you?" Scorpius sneered, and James ignored him.

"The moment Ms Malfoy regains consciousness she will decide who are allowed to visit her. Now everyone but her family will have to leave-"

"How severe where her injuries?" Alexis mother interrupted the healer, who looked mildly sour.

"She's been cruciated, she'd broken several ribs and has gotten a concussion. She has traces of several dark curses, we weren't sure she would survive, but she's strong. Her body will recover, but we aren't sure how her mind will react, she'll probably be traumatized, and everyone reacts individually to that. We have no way of guessing how long it will take for her to recover mentally, if she ever will"

"Oh merlin" Ms Malfoy sunk down against her husbands shoulder, who looked blank. James met Fred's gaze where he was leaning against the wall on the other side, Ginny steadying him up. James recognized the empty look, he felt the same.

"Let's go, we'll come back later" James father caught his hand and Lily's in the other, and James didn't have time to push him away before they apparated away.

"Get the fuck off me!" James shrugged away from his father the moment they landed in the Potter's kitchen. Ginny and Fred damp down a few seconds later. Everyone else where already there, Albus, Rose, Hugo, Dominique, Roxanne, Teddy, Victorie, Ron and Hermione, Fred's parents and the list went on. Everyone stared at them.

"How is she?" It was Roxanne who asked, her voice breaking.

"She'll recover" Harry answered, as James glared furiously at him.

"This is all your fault! If you would have listened to her in the beginning none of this would have happened!" He screamed, and Harry shrugged away in surprise.

"I know I was wrong son, you don't have to tell me. I already feel bad enough"

"Feel bad? You feel bad? Have you ever cared about her? Just because she's a Malfoy!" James closed in on his father, and the two of them glared at each other. James was equally as tall as Harry by now with his seventeen years.

"James!" His mother exclaimed indignantly, but James didn't listen to her.

"All this is our fault, because we wouldn't believe her!"

"What is going on here… I don't get anything" Teddy stepped in beside them, pushing James away. James almost felt like hitting his father, but he knew it was himself he was angry at. Lily's small arms closed in around him, pressing his arms to his sides.

"She's okay now, we'll go visit her" She mumbled, and James ruffled her hair, finally seeing her face for the first time. Lily had been there with Alexis, Lily had almost been tortured. He looked down at her.

"Did they hurt you?"

"Alexis saved me. Did you know she's an animagus?"

"I saw her turn at the attack, I didn't know before" James mind drifted towards the white eagle, yet another secret that Alexis had kept from him.

"I agree with Teddy! Would someone please explain what's going on here!" Ron exclaimed, and James left the room.

…

Alexis eyes fluttered open slowly. Everything was so white. Was she dead? Was this heaven?

But why would she go to heaven? Alexis was no saint, she lied, she used unforgivable curses, she used people.

That's when the pain kicked in, and she realized that she was very much alive. Her chest ached with every breath she drew, her arms and legs felt dull, like they weren't really connected to her body anymore.

Alexis managed to lift her head for a second, but then quickly let it fall down on the pillow again as the small movement mad her neck and stomach hurt. She'd caught sight of a light room with yellow curtains, rays of sunlight beaming through, and three sleeping forms around her. Scorpius head rested on the foot of her bed, and her parents where sitting on a chair on either side of her. Her mothers hand where clutching her own. They where asleep, looking exhausted with dark circles under their eyes. Alexis felt a wave of hurt wash over her that had nothing to do with her injuries as she saw a large scratch across Scorpius face, and her mothers bandaged hand.

"Mum" She whispered, her voice barely audible, even that small motion made her ache harder. She hated how weak she sounded. But despite all this, her mother shifted in her chair, and their eyes met. Gray and blue locked at each other for a moment before a smile spread across her mothers face.

"Alexis" The grip around her hand became tighter, and Alexis saw a small tear escape her mother, movements told her that her brother and father where also waking up.

"How do you feel?" Her father reached over to push some hair out of her eyes, and Alexis tried to smile. It felt wrong, somehow.

"I've been better"

"We understand" It seemed like they all wanted to squish some part of her, because her parents held on to her hands while Scorpius was practically hugging her legs.

"What happened?"

"We don't have to talk about that now sweetie-" Her mother started, tucking her covers in under her cheek. Alexis tried to squirm away.

"No, tell me now"

"Preston showed up with Lily, he's being taken care of by the Order now. And he told us that you where at the Avery Manor. We went there-"

"We?" Alexis interrupted her father.

"The Serpens Order, James Potter and his father, and Fred Weasley"

"They know?" Alexis eyes widened.

"They all know now, dear. At least those who know Mr. Potter, we aren't sure about the ministry yet. The rest of the world… not yet"

"They believe us?"

"Yes" Her father smiled sadly. Alexis had paid the prize for truth to come out. It felt strange, since she was the liar. Since when did the liars help the truth?

"And then?" Alexis felt like there was something they weren't telling her. And she was doing everything to keep her brain occupied for now, trying to shove away her memories.

"Isidore and his mother where killed" Scorpius said tonelessly, his face in her covers. Alexis swallowed hard.

Someone had died, someone had died trying to save her. It was her fault.

"Alex, they wanted revenge, they where careless, you know that" Her mother squeezed her shoulder, but Alexis looked away.

"Could you leave now, please?" She mumbled.

"But Alex-"

"Just go" Her voice became harsher, she felt tears threatening to spill over, and she'd only cried in front of someone once in her life, and that was Remus. Oh she missed Remus so much, he understood her on a different level.

"Just call for us and we'll be back" Her mother gave her a light kiss on her forehead before leaving, and Alexis held her breath before the door fell shut behind them.

Everything came raising back to her, the look on Lucius face, the pain, Lily's tearstained eyes. Alexis rolled around despite her hurting body, and buried her face in the pillow, letting it muffle her cries.

…

Three day's later Mr. Adams, her healer, stepped inside, his usual frown plastered on his face. Alexis glared at the man in his early thirties.

"How are you doing today Miss Malfoy?"

"Peachy" She replied, a falsely sweet smile on her face. She didn't like him at all, apparently he was physiologist too and wanted her to talk about her feelings and all that. Like she'd open up to a stranger, duh.

"So you're recovering good?" He pressed a hand to her forehead, and she winced a little at his cold touch. Her fever where finally going down, and her body didn't hurt as much. She was wearing her own pajamas now, and her hair brushed.

Alexis had gotten a bit of a shock when she looked herself in the mirror for the first time, her hair had been chopped off just below her chin, because it had been to tangled and in the way. Alexis looked completely different according to herself, her face was even paler, with small traces of scars that had yet to fade away on her neck. Her eyes seemed bigger somehow, but less lively. She'd never thought she had pretty eyes, Megan had pretty kind brown eyes. She had grey eyes, like bad weather.

To her, everything about her seemed different, she'd lost weight too, because she barely ate anything at the hospital and before. Her parents and brother came by every day during visiting hours, she knew a lot of other people wanted to visit, but she'd told the hospital not to let them in. She didn't want them to see her like this.

"Will I be able to leave soon?" She asked, avoiding the question. Adam's glanced up at her from over his chart, that he scribbled in all the time.

"That depends on you, you might be physically recovering good but mentally-"

"Oh don't even start with that crap, I won't talk to you about it. Okay?"

"Okay then, let's talk about something else" Adams settled down on the chair that her father had been sitting on at the right side of her bed. She sat with her legs crossed, glaring at him.

"Tell me about your friends at Hogwarts, the ones who had almost blasted down the door trying to see you" Adams wrinkled his nose, apparently he wasn't very fond of her friends.

"There is nothing to tell" Lie. She could talk for hours. Only she didn't want to. She always kept her mind as far from James as possible.

"Miss Malfoy, I haven't gotten much information on how you received this injuries, so I can't make a good evaluation if you don't cooperate with me"

"I don't want to be evaluated!"

"You will have to if you want to get out of St Mungos!" Adams snapped, and she grinned mockingly. She just made a shrink loose his temper.

"Take my advice and get a life Mr. Adams"

Mr. Adams didn't visit her again after that.

…

Four days later, she still hadn't agreed to see anyone except her family. And when the nurse poked her head through the door Alexis knew what she was going to say.

"Miss Malfoy, Mr. Potter is here to see you-"

"I don't want to see him" She pulled her knees up against her stomach, letting her short hair cover her face. She was wearing one of Scorpius old jerseys, that almost went down to her knees. She tucked it over her legs, so that only her feet where visible.

"But he insists-"

"I don't care" She snapped angrily, and the nurse made a frustrated noise before closing the door behind her. Alexis rocked back and forth, trying to shut out the voices outside in the hall. But the couldn't help but listen when she recognized James voice.

"I just want to see her, please let me in-"

"Miss Malfoy doesn't take visitors right now you'll have to come back later"

"Just let me in for Merlin's sake!" James voice was a growl, and Alexis could imagine his eyes narrowing.

"Mr. Potter we will have to escort you out if you don't leave immediately-"

"Oh fuck this" Alexis head shot up as there was a loud ruffle in the corridor, and then the door shot open.

She blinked in surprise as he froze, at first not seeming to recognize her. None of them spoke. Alexis wanted to pull her covers over her, to hide, but it was too late now. James had seen her like this, weak.

"Hi" She whispered, looking him over. He didn't look like himself either, he looked paler, he was unshaven, he had dark circles under his eyes and he was wearing a dark and strained expression that didn't fit him.

"Alex…" James voice was just audible for her, he rushed over to her bed and she twitched in surprise as he reached for her. He stopped, his hands hovering an inch from her face. James gulped before pulling back.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to…" He mumbled, awkwardly standing beside her bed. She didn't look at him.

"It's… okay, I'm not very fond of people touching me at the moment" She mumbled darkly, and James looked pained.

"Alexis I am so sorry, you don't know how worried I've been. When we found you and you where dying and I couldn't do anything and they told me to wait- and then I couldn't see you and this have been the worst week of my life because I couldn't be with you and-"

"James, get to the point" Alexis cut him off with a sigh, and she thought she saw a small smile flicker over his face.

"I didn't mean anything I said before the game, you know that right?" James sat down in front of her on the bed, not touching her. She glanced up at him.

"Yes you did"

"Not anymore, Alexis I understand why you kept all those things secret from us, but you don't have to do that anymore" Now he reached out to touch her leg lightly, and Alexis felt like a small spark went through her.

"We was a mistake James, we can never be" She muttered, jaw on her knee. Of course it was a complete lie.

"I don't care, I just want to be with you, I'll settle with anything" He leaned forward, pushing her hair back behind her ear, and held her gaze in his green eyes. "I can't loose you again, I promised myself that I'd take care of you"

"I'm not in love with you anymore" She mumbled coldly, to make her point clear. But of course, it was once again a lie. James closer his eyes for a second, and she saw his expression going darker. But then he opened them again.

"It doesn't matter, we can just be friends"

"You still want to be friends? After all that's happened?" Alexis finally looked straight at him, with surprise.

"Alexis, you saved my sisters life. You're the most amazing person I know, how could I not want to be friends with you?"

"I dunno"

"And there is a lot of people who wants to see you, my family want's to thank you, and my dad wants to apologize together with uncle Ron. Fred is going crazy, and Lily and the others too"

"I don't want to see your father" Alexis grunted, and James grinned slightly.

"I thought you would say that"

"Aren't you going to agree with him?"

"I've barely talked to him since I yelled at him in front of our whole family…"

"You yelled at Harry Potter?" Alexis eyes widened.

"Yeah"

"Wow"

They fell into silence, being near James again felt so strange. She was torn between leaning into his shoulder and wanting to run away.

"Isidore was killed" She declared "Because of me"

"No Alex, none of this where your fault-" James turned around panicky, and wrapped his arms around her small form. Alexis took a deep ragged breath, once again tears threatened to well up.

"It's all my fault James, I just mess things up" She hiccoughed as she leaned into his neck, inhaling his scent. It felt like home.

"No it isn't, you can never think that Alexis" James rubbed her back in circles as he but his chin on her head. Alexis felt strangely safe, and warm.

And she started crying. Alexis Malfoy cried into James Potter's chest. She didn't know for how long he sat there holding her as she continued to sniffle into his shirt. She didn't care either, just for that moment she didn't care about anything else then James arms around her, telling her that everything would be okay.

Seems like James lie too.

It was beginning to grow dark outside when the nurse plopped her head back in, and Alexis was cuddled up next to James side on the bed, his arm comfortable around her.

"Visitor hours are over, you will have to leave now Mr. Potter"

"Please don't go" Alexis whispered, she didn't know what made her say it, but James nodded without hesitation.

"I'm staying" He told the nurse firmly, and she sighed in irritation.

"I can't let you stay in her room over night-"

"I'm staying" James growled, and the nurse made an annoyed noise before throwing the door shut behind her. Alexis grinned crookedly up at James for a second.

"Have you been giving them hell Jamie?"

"Apparently" He leaned his head onto hers, and she nuzzled in deeper in his shirt. Feeling her eyes fall shut as she drifted into sleep.

…

"Get the hell off my sister Potter!" A loud voice suddenly bellowed, and Alexis snapped awake together with James, both of them springing away from each other as much as possible in the small hospital bed.

"Scorpius!" She burst out indignantly, as James slid off the bed a little dizzily.

"Have you been here all night?" Scorpius growled to James, who straightened up.

"I asked him to stay" Alexis pursed her lips, and her brother glared at her.

"Mum and dad will come into this room in a few seconds and if Potter's still here I'm thinking you will have some explaining to do" He said darkly, and James glanced over at her.

"Go" She pushed him towards the door.

"But we didn't do-"

"Still my parents doesn't like me sleeping in the same bed as a boy James, even if nothing happened" She rolled her eyes and gave him a final scuff towards the door. He growled slightly but strolled away down the corridor. She quickly closed the door and shuffled back to the bed, bringing her covers up all the way to her nose. Scorpius glared at her.

"You and Potter back together again?"

"No, we're just friends"

"Hmpf, better stay that way"

"Shut up Score"

"What's going on?" Their parents stepped through the door, finding their children glaring at each other.

"Nothing" They chorused, and their dad narrowed his eyebrows suspiciously at them.

"What are you doing here?" Alexis sighed, and her parents exchanged a glance, while Scorpius stared into the wall.

"You can tell her Scorpius, he was your friend" Her mother mumbled, and Alexis turned to look at her brother worriedly.

"Isidore and his mother's funeral is next week´"

"We talked to Mr. Adams and he agreed to let you out" Her mother added kindly, as Alexis felt the blood drain from her face.

"I'm sorry" She crossed over to Scorpius in a heartbeat, wrapping her arms around him. She hadn't though about how much this affected her brother, Isidore was one of his closest friends.

"I know you are" He hesitantly hugged her back, and Alexis swallowed hard. How could things have gotten so messed up?

…

Alexis smoothed the dress out beneath her. It was a nice dress in black velvet. Long arms, circle neck and it went all the way down to her knees. She'd pulled her hair up into an elaborate bun and then put on a pair of black pumps. She was clutching a single snow white rose in her right hand, looking into the mirror.

The young woman looking back at her was completely new to her. It was a seventeen year old girl living in a world in war. Without knowing what the future would hold and who would survive. Her grey eyes where colder then ever, losing the mischievousness they'd had once had almost completely. The only thing left was a dark grim humor.

That girl was trying to gather herself enough to walk down to the living room, and apparate to the funeral together with her family. That girl was preparing herself to hold her brothers hand because he'd lost his best friend. That girl was prepared to lie and say that everything would be okay, even if she knew that nothing would be okay.

The wizarding world was at war again. The third war, but it was now against Lucifer. Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley had used their connections in the ministry, and Shacklebolt, the minister, had believed them. Now everyone knew, and it was beginning to create chaos. Lucifer where openly recruiting and killing, and the ministry didn't know who to trust, because they where infiltrated. But as long as Shacklebolt had the post as minister, they where safe.

But Alexis didn't know for how long that would be. People thought that Lucifer was a bad copy of Voldemort, they didn't realize that he was so much worse. His goal wasn't to wipe out the muggleborns and enslave the muggles. He only wanted power, complete and utter control.

Alexis heels echoed against the marble floor as she walked down the stairs. She found her brother at the end of the stairs, and smiled bravely at him. He barely raised his head. When her parents came, all clad in black, they apparated together.

The air outside the Nott's residence was warm, the sun was shining. If it wasn't for the sad, angry and afraid faces Alexis would have thought it was the end of a story, when the sky hopefully breaks up to reveal the sun. But that wasn't the case, and everyone knew it.

She stood beside Estelle during the ceremony, the two girls looking over at each other now and then. Estelle's dark eyes where hazed by tears, Alexis squeezed her hand tightly.

All of the Serpens Order where there, her father, Mr. Zabini and Mr. Montague stood shoulder to shoulder, heads down with grim looks on their faces. They had the same look of determination that everyone else felt.

The Serpens Order would fight, no matter what happened they would fight. And maybe now when the rest of the world knew, they wouldn't be alone?

Alexis thought so, and then realized that she'd even started lying to herself.

AN: I'm so incredibly sorry for the long wait, but I've been busy and haven't had any connection to internet. Because of that I can't answer to all of my reviewers individually, but I can say that last chapter got more reviews then any other and I'm so incredibly thankful.

So, this chapter marks the beginning of their seventh year, which I'm planning to be the most exiting, dangerous and dark one. Of course I won't forget the humor, because Alexis can't get rid of hers even if she tried.

Thank you all for waiting patiently, and I promise not to be as long with the next one.