Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

CARL BARD

Cupid's Chokehold; Chapter Thirty-Five. Bella.

"What are you doing up?" Jake twisted as much as he could with me in his arms.

"Just listening to the rain. I guess it woke me up." I turned around to face him and he nuzzled in to my neck, making me want to melt.

"Go back to sleep," he said softly.

I sighed and ran the tips of my fingers up and down his back. If only it were that easy.

"What are you doing?" he asked slowly. I stopped my hands.

"I think I'm gonna get up," I whispered, I made to get up but his arms held tight. "Jake," I complained idly.

He sat up a little bit, still keeping his arms around me in case I tried to make a break for it. "What are you thinking about?"

I rolled my eyes. Was it that obvious? I was open book Bella, after all.

"Everything, I guess. Do you ever just sit back and wonder if it's all a dream?"

He looked down at me meaningfully, "Every day, Bella," he pulled me in closer to him and kissed the top of my head. I didn't have to be a mind reader to understand what he was saying to me. "What are you really thinking about?"

"Everything. The Cullens, Billy, Victoria, high school. Everyone I know just had to deal with choosing the right school… I had to kill a vampire."

"And you did a very good job of it," he commented grimly. Jake didn't like to talk about my foray in slayerhood; I was pretty sure he wasn't the least bit happy I had gone to do that, even though I explained multiple times that I hadn't done it on purpose.

"Thanks."

We sat a little longer, Jake brushed his fingers over my hip almost lulling me to sleep again.

"Why are you thinking about the Cullens?"

"I don't know… I just am. Don't worry Jake, I'm not changing my mind."

a few weeks earlier…

"Maybe you and Bella can go outside and talk while we discuss matters," Carlisle suggested.

"You don't think I should be here, Carlisle?" Edward asked. I shifted uncomfortably next to the wall, noticing Sam's hand on Jake's arm, ready to pull him back from doing anything stupid. "I was here for the first treaty…"

"I think we'll be fine on our own, Edward," Carlisle used a firm and fatherly tone, really giving Edward no choice in leaving. "We only have a small amount of time in which we can overstay our welcome. Please use our time wisely."

Edward looked at me awkwardly, reminding me of junior high when a counselor forced another kid to ask me to dance during a slow number. The four minutes that followed were the most awkward of my life.

I followed Edward out the door and down to the rising tide.

"Did you want to talk, Edward?" I didn't remember things being so weird between us when we met on the bleachers. "I mean," I started when he didn't answer, "we can just stand out here… quietly… I guess."

He shuffled a bit, kicking at an incoming wave and ignoring the water that sprayed up at him.

"Are you happy?" he asked suddenly.

It was an odd question. One I hadn't really thought about. I knew that Edward didn't mean the shallow kind of happy that most people associated this question with. I knew that Edward meant much more from that simple question. He meant was I content, was I okay with where my life was going.

The entire day had been such a whirl wind that I hadn't really had much time to think about what Victoria being gone—Victoria being dead meant.

"Yeah, Edward. Yeah. I am. It wasn't how I thought my life was going to turn out but I should have taken the hint that my life wasn't meant to be normal when I fell in love with a vampire, right?"

Someone else wouldn't have noticed the flinch, but I did.

"I am happy."

"So you and Jake…"

"We're good together. He loves me and he takes care of me."

Softly, he said, "And he'll give you the life I couldn't."

I wanted to deny that. I wanted to tell him it wasn't true, but that would have been a lie. Jake could give me a life in the sun. He could give me a normal lifespan with children and wrinkles.

"You know that's not why, right Edward?"

"Why what," he wanted me to say it outloud.

"Why I chose him…" I said softly.

"I think so. I think it's easier to think to pretend it has something to do with that though. Makes it hurt less."

"Why does it hurt, Edward?"

He brushed his hand against my cheek and I shivered, I was used to the cold contact anymore.

"Because you don't love me anymore."

I frowned, "That's not true either, Edward. I still love you, in a way. I don't think I'll ever stop. I still care for you. I just can't be with you."

"Because I hurt you."

I nodded, he'd know if I was lying.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you thought you were doing the right thing. I don't really blame you."

We kicked around at the waves for a few more minutes.

"What about you Edward? Are you happy?" I knew him too well for him to lie, even at his happiest he was only a few steps away from writing bad poetry and painting his nails black. Although, Edward's poetry was probably very, very good.

"I'm… I don't know. I'm trying to occupy myself, make myself forget."

"Vampires aren't so easily occupied, huh?" I tried to make a joke to make him smile. And he did.

"Not like I had implied. It's far easier to be occupied but still thinking about something else." I knew that something else was me.

"Do you think you'll ever be happy."

"I don't know. Maybe in a few hundred years," he saw me frown, "keep in mind how short of a time that is for a vampire, Bella. Carlisle's only found happiness in the past hundred years."

"Do you think you'll find happiness?" I asked, then rephrased, "Do you think you'll fall in love again?"

"I want to say no, Bella."

"Well, if you do can you promise me not to make the same mistake again?"

He laughed, though I hadn't intended it to really be that funny, "I'll do my best."

There was more silence and kicking at the waves.

"Carlisle is calling us in," he said quietly. He reached for my hand and hesitantly, I wrapped my fingers in to his and we walked back to the house. He let go of my hand and held the door open for me.

"Well," Carlisle spoke first, "it seems that everything is all settled." He gave a pointed look at Edward and I knew that they were having one of those strange silent conversations. "We should probably be going."

Sam stood up to show them to the door. "We appreciate all your help…"

I walked over to Jake and held his hand, I could see how worried he was. It was a little ridiculous, but I could only imagine how I would be reacting if the tides were turned.

"I'm gonna go say bye to everyone," I whispered to Jake. I tightened my grip on his hand to reassure him that I wasn't going anywhere but I wasn't sure the message was getting across. I tore myself away and went out to where the Cullens (minus Esme and Jasper) were shaking hands with the wolf boys.

Carlisle calmly came over and grasped my hands in his.

"I feel like a father sending his daughter off to college," Carlisle grinned, even though his amber eyes were sad and almost glistening. I could feel my throat tightening up with the symptoms of a good cry about to come on but I pushed them back. I didn't want to ruin this by crying like some human. "I'm so proud of you."

This came as a surprise to me. "Why?" I didn't really think I had done anything to be particularly proud of. I still managed to get myself in trouble and still needed to be saved by mythical creatures. Nothing had really changed.

"I'll admit that even Alice didn't see this coming," he nodded to Sam and Jake who were watching the exchange from the front porch. "In all my years I've been able to pretty firmly guess the results of human actions but you've been such a surprise, you seem to want to keep us guessing—"

I wiped away the tears that were falling from my face and smiled, "Edward always used to say something like that."

Carlisle nodded, "You are a quite complex human. I'll miss having you in my life. It's been lovely to see you grow. You were like a rose blossom when we first met, beautiful but you just needed some sunlight." I smiled and looked back at Jake. He was my sun. "Goodbye, Bella," he leaned down and kissed my cheek before getting in his car and starting it up.

Rose and Emmett came up next. It felt kind of like a receiving line. Emmett wrapped both of his arms around me and picked me up, spinning around in circles. "I'm going to miss you so much!" He set me down and straightened out my hair which had turned into a little rat's nest. "If Jake ever does anything stupid, let me know," he whispered conspiratorially. He looked over at Jake with a somewhat menacing face, "I could so take you!" he yelled.

Rose slapped his shoulder, "Oh my God," she mumbled. "Go sit in the car."

He grinned like a seven year old, "Bye Bella!" When he got in the Jeep music pounded out from beyond the closed windows and Rose rolled her eyes.

I looked up at Rose. Edward and Alice were both leaning on the edge of the last car and neither seemed too worried about what Rose was going to do. I was though. I didn't have the luxury of being able to read her mind or see her future. It was no secret that Rose didn't like me; I was surprised she wasn't thanking me or celebrating. I was surprised she was even here.

"You know why I didn't…. accept you joining the family, right?" Rosalie asked.

I had no idea why she didn't "accept" me. I thought that accept was perhaps the wrong word. All I could do was shake my head.

Rose crossed her arms, a movement I knew well. Rose was uncomfortable. Rose was feeling insecure. I relaxed a little bit. This was a side of Rose I didn't even know existed.

"When I was human I wanted the American dream. That phrase wasn't even invented yet, but I wanted the husband and the kids and the beautiful house and the perfect social life." She frowned a little bit and looked out at the ocean. "Certain things got in the way, to say the least. And even though I love my life now and I would never give Emmett up for what I had before," before she become a vampire, "I wouldn't want you to have to go through what I did. I don't know what you want in life, Bella, but I want you to have options. I want you to be able to chose to have that husband," she pursed her lips, "even if he is a dog," she mumbled, "I want you to be able to have kids and stay in one town for your entire life. I don't want you to be stuck."

To say I was stunned would have been an understatement.

"I thought you hated me."

"I'm not a bitch, Bella. I mean, on most days. Carlisle wanted me keeping my opinion to myself. He didn't want me to mess things up, he didn't want me to influence you. You made Edward happy, hell, even now he's better than before he met you," she looked away for a second and then back to me, "I don't hate you, Bella, I'm jealous of you." I thought my jaw dropped, I couldn't tell, I was too numb to notice anything. Rose cleared her throat and put her hands on her hips, the Rosalie that I knew started to shine through again. "Anyway, I'm very happy for you." She wrapped me in a hug and I returned it. "Have a wonderful life, Bella." She walked to the Jeep and got in to the driver's seat. I watched in amusement as she hit Emmett in the shoulder and turned the radio off. I couldn't make out the words but I could hear them yelling at each other as she started up the Jeep and drove off.

Alice was next in line apparently because she bounded up to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"This is so unfair, Bella, I never even saw this coming!" she looked up at me and sniffled, "I can't even see anything right now. It's like I'm broken. Carlisle thinks it has something to do with the wolves. How am I gonna be able to check in on you?"

"You could call," I suggested.

She huffed and stomped her foot, "That's not the same." Even though she was complaining there was a glint of amusement in her eyes. I'd probably have to change the cell phone plan to unlimited minutes or something.

"Yes," I agreed, "definitely not the same as being spied on."

"Hey," she said defensively, "I saved your butt plenty of times!"

"Yes, you did. But, I don't think I need saving anymore, Alice. I think I'm done being danger magnet Bella. Besides, I can totally take out any vampires now. They should be scared of me."

She laughed, "Yeah, Bella, you're terrifying," she seemed unconvinced.

Awkwardly, we stared at each other for a little while before she wrapped me in a hug again. "I'm going to miss you."

I laughed even though I was crying again, "Me too, Alice. Who's going to give me a hard time about my clothes?"

She leaned back and looked up at me. "You know, I've been meaning to say something but I thought I wouldn't since, well, your house burnt down and I figured that you were too busy to go out and buy some new ones. You know… I could send you some stuff. I know your size. And then, oh geeze, there's your wedding. I know that that can't be left up to you. Maybe I could come back…" she was talking more to herself now.

"My wedding?" I asked quietly incase Jake could hear me. "You can see that?"

Her smile was genuine and sweet. "No, Bella. I can't see anything about you. But, I don't need to be a seer to know that you and Jake are staying together for a very long time. He'd die before he gave you up."

And there were tears again.

"Okay. I love you. I'm going to go." She hugged me for the third time, quick and hard before bolting off to the car with Carlisle.

"I love you too, Alice," I smiled at the quick little pixie for a moment before the car pealed out of the driveway and down the dirt road.

There was one last person there. Butterflies flew around in my stomach.

Ever so slowly Edward walked up to me, stopping at least a foot away from me.

"You know I'll always be close by if you ever need anything, right?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, I kind of figured."

"Just let me know…"

"Yeah."

"I'm glad you're happy," he said wholeheartedly.

"Me too. Promise me you'll try to be happy? Soon."

He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'll do my best."

I had heard people say they didn't know whether to cry or laugh before. This was certainly one of those moments.

"I'm going to hug you," I said awkwardly. I wasn't sure he would be accepting of a hug and I didn't want to surprise him.

Slowly I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him close to me. He was stiff, even for a vampire. Slowly though, he relaxed and returned the hug.

"I'll always love you, Isabella," he whispered into my ear.

"Everything's okay, right?" Jake asked. He pulled me back to him in bed and I turned away from the dark and rainy night that would soon turn to the brilliant blue it always was after a good storm.

I smiled at Jake and kissed the bottom of his chin. "Of course everything is okay. Will you stop worrying? You're going to give yourself an ulcer."

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

and I say it's all right

HERE COMES THE SUN, THE BEATLES

AN: 2 weeks, 2 months… you know I don't know the difference. This has been such a long road! I started this story my first semester of college, I'm going in to my seventh. I've enjoyed it, but I'm glad to see it finished. I'm working on a Morganville Vampire piece right now and then after that I might come back to Twilight. I'm not sure. I'm trying to focus more on my original writing, which is a lot more time consuming that fanfiction. We shall see. Thank you for coming along on the ride, I've enjoyed your reviews.

Peace, love, and happy reads,

Samantha

PS. Before you ask, no there will not be an epilogue or sequel.