We're getting close! This chapter starts with angst...but doesn't end with it (well some may disagree with that...but I stand by that assessment!) We're moving closer and closer to the long awaited happiness our couple deserves!

Thank you again for your patience, your loyal reading and reviewing - you are the best readers ever! :D

Special thanks to Viki for her valued input and quick beta!

Chapter 35: The Promise of a Kiss

Scene: The morning of the wedding.

Clarisse felt more than saw the sun begin to rise as the light filtered in through the windows, trying to brighten her gloomy disposition. She was certain that sleep had not come to her other than in small pockets when exhaustion overcame her emotionally drained body. It was certain that she had cried more in the last twenty four hours than she had at any other point in her life, no exceptions. It would take a small miracle this morning to get her appearance ready for public viewing. If it were anything other than her granddaughter's wedding…she would just claim a headache and hide away from the world.

A soft fuzzy head nuzzled her hand indicating that he was ready for his morning walk. "Not yet, dear one, but soon. Let me have a cup of tea and try to wake up and then I personally will take you for your walk today. Olivia and Priscilla will have plenty to do this morning, I'm sure."

Maurice barked his acknowledgment and went back to his doggie bed to wait for the signal that it was time. Clarisse smiled affectionately at the animal…at least HE was willing to wait for her. She sighed – that line of thinking would only serve to bring her further into the darkness that was looming nearby, waiting to engulf her if only she would give in…

Joseph rubbed his eyes, grimacing as it felt like sandpaper scratching the delicate orbs that were rimmed with darkness and bloodshot from lack of sleep. His head pounded and every muscle in his body ached from the tension that had been present over the last few days. He slowly got out of bed, feeling years had been heaped on his frame overnight, making his movements stiff and painful.

He ventured a look in the mirror and knew that he looked as bad as he felt. There was a pain in his chest that cut through to his very soul. Shaking his head to dispel the gloom that was settling over him proved to only intensify the pain. Grabbing some aspirin and his glass of water, he swallowed the tiny white pills…praying they would bring some relief. "I need some fresh air. Perhaps that will help clear my head. If today were any other day than the Princess' wedding, I would take a sick day and stay in bed!" He heard his voice echo in the room and realized that he must truly be losing his mind.

^^C/J^^

An hour later, Clarisse felt she was presentable enough to take Maurice for his walk. She stepped outside her suite to find Scott waiting to escort her. "I suppose you have been asked to take the morning shift today?" She questioned, not surprised that Joseph had elected to not see her.

"Yes ma'am. The boss will be guarding the Princess today as he felt the security risk for her would be very high."

Clarisse smiled at the young man, understanding that he was making every effort to protect her from the harsh truth. "I'm certain he did. Well I feel very safe in your capable hands."

"Thank you, ma'am. Will you be taking your breakfast in the dining room?"

She shook her head slowly, not wanting the headache to return in full force. "No breakfast this morning. I am planning on taking Maurice for his morning walk in the gardens, perhaps the fresh air will do me some good."

"Yes, ma'am." He agreed, but made a mental note to make sure Charlotte brought her some breakfast at some point this morning. He wasn't going to have her faint on his watch.

^^C/J^^

Joseph watched as she made her way slowly through the garden while Maurice frolicked among the hedges and shrubs. He was overwhelmed by his love for her; his breath caught in his throat and his heart constricted at the thought of not seeing her every day. He had been such a fool and now it was too late. It always came back to the same dilemma when it came to her: he couldn't live with her and he couldn't live without her… He would have no choice now…he had been a fool and now it was too late.

"She's getting married today, Maurice…" Clarisse spoke aloud to the dog and then finished silently… "and I shall never marry again…" She hated feeling sorry for herself, it wasn't like her; but she could feel his eyes on her, watching her as he always had done. The thought of him no longer being beside her, watching her no matter where she was or what she was doing left a chill inside of her that she felt in the depths of her soul. She had finally done it…had driven away the only man she had ever truly loved. She had been a fool, choosing duty over love, yet again, and now it was too late.

Joseph's cell phone buzzed in his pocket, he retrieved it as his eyes remained fixed on her. "Speak." He listened as his old friend, Gretchen, whispered to him about the latest escapades of her boss. He never understood why she stayed working for him; but as she related the details of the leak to Elsie Kentworthy and the set up, he was grateful that she did. "Thank you, my friend. It may be too late, but I will make sure the Princess knows the truth. What she does from there is her decision."

He closed the phone at the moment her face turned towards him. Their eyes locked across the distance. Though they couldn't see directly, both knew that the cerulean depths would speak of love and regret. Regret for harsh words spoken and letting opportunity slip through their fingers like grains of sand.

Today would be a very long day, indeed.

^^C/J^^

A few hours later, Joseph found himself standing in the Archbishop's office, a married man. It all seemed surreal, like a dream. He had been in shock; but, thankfully, had been coherent enough to perform his role. He replayed it over again in his mind…maybe it was a dream; but if it was, he never wanted to wake up…

"Hey Joe…I just wanted to say before I do this…I'm sorry you're retiring."

He was surprised that the Princess had heard about it…it was not like Clarisse to share that information. He had to ask, ""Who told you that?"

Mia knew she had to come up with a plausible explanation as he would not have been pleased with her and Charlotte for eavesdropping. She used the old standby she had heard used time and time again, "The maids know everything."

He nodded, knowing that much was true. He didn't want to go into details with her, so he simply offered, "The heart does things for reasons; that reason cannot understand."

"You're preaching to the choir."

She sounded so sad; he knew he had to tell her the truth. He got her attention once again. "Princess…then you should know that Nicholas did not set you up at the lake."

"You're sure?"

"The maids know everything."

Thinking back, he wondered how much of the information he had provided served as the catalyst for the events that took place the rest of the day. The next thing he knew, he was following both the Princess and the Queen out of the church almost before the ceremony had begun. He remembered hearing the shouts of joy and applause when Clarisse stepped out of the church. They loved her and he felt a momentary pang of guilt that he had forced her to choose. In the end, they had won…but that was neither here nor there now. He stepped close enough to protect them, but still tried to offer them some privacy. This was between Queen and future Queen…Grandmother and Granddaughter… He felt a sense of pride and sadness as he listened to the exchange…

"Oh my dear…Mia."

"Oh Gramma, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I just need a minute."

"No."

"I can do this."

"No!"

"I can't do this…"

"I know."

"Darling, listen to me. I made my choice, duty to my country over love. It's what I've always done, it seems. It's been drummed into me my whole life. Now I've lost the only man I ever really loved."

"Mia, I want you to make your own choices as a woman. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Make your own mistakes, there'll be plenty of them, believe me. Now you can go back in that church and get married or you can walk away. Whatever choice you make, let it come from your heart."

He had found it strange that she was giving advice to Mia that she refused to follow herself. It had made him both proud and heartbroken at the same time. If he had thought that was the last surprise he would have that day, he couldn't have been more mistaken. Within the next fifteen minutes, Mia had successfully negotiated her first vote with Parliament, overturning the ancient marriage law.

He had seen Viscount Mabrey barreling down the aisle directly toward his Queen. At the last moment, he had stepped in front of her to ensure she was safe. As he watched Mabrey, looking like a fool, chasing after Nicholas, his senses went on high alert as he felt her step near to his body. Uncontrollably, a shiver ran down his spine and his heart rate increased. When he felt her breath on his neck, his mind flashed to the many times they had shared intimate moments and her lips had feathered across his skin. Unlike those other times, though, when she had whispered of her love, this time only the command of "Door…" had escaped those sensuous lips of hers. It was enough. It had jolted him to action and he effectively barred the Viscount from returning to do any further damage.

^^C/J^^

Clarisse smiled with pride at her beautiful granddaughter and the success she had just experienced at repealing the marriage law. She had always KNOWN she would make a great Queen…alright, perhaps there were flickers of doubt, but Joseph had always reassured her. She fought to keep the smile on her face at the thought of Joseph. She could feel him standing behind her and to her right and wanted desperately to just throw herself in his arms and beg for his understanding and forgiveness. Fortunately, Charlotte distracted her.

"Your Majesty…the Princess would like a word." Charlotte smiled, hoping that the Princess had thought of a way to fix things between her two best friends.

She took the small piece that Charlotte handed her, but truly had no idea what to do with it. She turned in a circle as she tried to think of what to say…"Oh…ummm…"

"Gramma?" The whispered voice of her granddaughter could be heard through the device. She took a step towards her, forgetting that Charlotte was attached.

"Just because I didn't get MY fairytale ending…doesn't mean you shouldn't."

Clarisse was momentarily stunned…how could Amelia know? Her choice of words haunted the memories that she had been trying so hard to keep subdued. How often had she and Joseph spoke of a fairytale ending…even as recent as yesterday when she felt it was no longer an option for her. She wasn't sure what to say or what to do. She turned to Charlotte for words of wisdom. "Did you hear that?"

In typical Charlotte fashion, she replied very seriously, "Not if you didn't want me to."

She couldn't help but laugh. Charlotte had been by her side for what seemed like always. She was steadfast, supportive and one of the best friends she ever had. "Oh, Charlotte!"

Taking a deep breath, she straightened the jacket to her dress. She made a few audible sounds and words that made no sense as she stalled for time. Could she really do this? What would Joseph think? What would he say? What would everyone else say? She took a deep breath and exhaled. For once in her life, she was going to do what SHE wanted, regardless of the outcome or what anyone else would think. Her life was passing by at an alarming rate and she knew, everything else aside, that she owed it to herself…to her relationship with Joseph to give it one last try.

^^C/J^^

After watching with pride, the Princess take on Parliament…and win, he felt better knowing that his belief in her was well placed and that his future Queen would serve his country well. At least he could take that knowledge into retirement with him…he had helped shape the future Queen of Genovia. It was unfortunate that the soon to be former Queen would not allow him the opportunity to shape their future together. He had been so caught up in his thoughts that he almost missed her call to him. Almost…

"Joseph."

"Your Majesty."

"Dear Joseph…"

Was it his imagination or had her voice taken on a softer, more personal tone. No…it was only his imagination…wasn't it?

"Am I too late…to ask you…to accept my hand in marriage."

Did he hear her right? Yes…yes he had. Unlike his proposal, there was no room for mis-interpretation or second guessing…she had just asked him to marry her...

That was when instinct took over. His mind was spinning wildly out of control and it took all of his considerable training to stay calm and match her reserved demeanor. He cleared his throat, hoping his voice would not betray him now. "Well I thought you would never ask."

He noticed her releasing the breath she had been holding and the relief flood her beautiful face. Rational thought was no longer present in his mind and just before the numbness from the shock totally ruled his brain, he took off his hat and earpiece and turned to his second in command. "Shades, you're in charge now. Good luck with Lionel."

Turning to face forward, standing next to the woman that he had dreamed of for years, he added quietly. "I'm going to a wedding." He lifted his arm to escort his bride to be and they began to walk down the aisle together.

All of his focus was on the Archbishop and making it down the aisle without falling. He heard Clarisse making some comment to the people assembled at the church…that was her way of dealing with the nerves, retreating into his inner shell was his. She was used to the spotlight…he was not.

In usual Clarisse style, once she had put her mind to something, there was no stopping her. When they reached the front, her voice was strong as she made her request. "My Lord, Archbishop, I would like to take this man as my husband." Then much quieter, she added, "if you please…"

Joseph couldn't see Clarisse's face, but was certain that her shock at the Archbishop's response mirrored his own.

"Finally…"

They did sneak one quick glance at each other which shared the expression…perhaps their secret had not been as well kept as they thought. Yet the country was still standing….oh how many years had they wasted in fear of what others would think…

Joseph only half heard what the Archbishop was saying, but when Shades pressed a ring into his hand, he knew what motions should come next. He took her hand, and noticed it was slightly trembling. He had no idea where the ring had come from…he assumed it was the band that Andrew was to give to Mia had their wedding gone as planned. He spoke the words he was expected to say, "With this ring, I thee…" he smiled at the Archbishop and then at his love, "finally…wed."

"I pronounce you man and wife." He had waited over thirty years to hear those words said to him. "You may kiss the bride."

Kiss the bride? What would be an appropriate kiss? He knew how he wanted to kiss her…but that kiss would not be for public consumption. He felt her hands in his and knew he should do something…but for the first time in his life, his body seemed immobile. He heard the music and felt Clarisse moving towards him. His mouth made the necessary movement to accept a kiss from her.

The kiss was gentle, yet spoke of so much that was still to come between them. It was a promise…a promise from her that no longer would she allow what others wanted to dictate a decision so important in her personal life. A promise that was sealed with a kiss.

^^C/J^^

Joseph smiled as he thought of the promises they had made to each other only a few minutes earlier. He heard Clarisse just outside the door, speaking with the Archbishop, Charlotte and Shades, presumably making the arrangements for their departure. His mind was still a muddled mess. Just yesterday, his life was in total and complete turmoil. Now, only twenty-four hours later, everything he had ever wanted was his. He rubbed his head again, willing the swirling thoughts to calm to allow him the ability to take control of the situation as he was accustomed.

Clarisse stepped in the door just in time to see Joseph rubbing his head. A small flicker of doubt crept into her otherwise ecstatic demeanor. Was he having second thoughts? Had he only said yes to avoid embarrassing her? It was not out of the realm of reasonable to think he would take such actions on her behalf…even considering the state of their relationship only twenty four hours ago.

"Joseph?"

He looked in her direction, but did not answer.

"Are you ready to depart? Shades has already escorted Amelia to the car and the carriage is waiting for you and I."

Nodding, he extended his arm to escort her. As he stepped through the doorway, he was immediately surrounded by a contingent of security personnel that moved along with them. It was an interesting sensation and one he wasn't sure he liked. It seemed surreal that HE was being the one protected now, rather than being the protector. The bodies around him had a suffocating feel, even though they were at an appropriate distance. Had this been how Clarisse had felt her entire life? Maybe it was something one became accustomed to. He could only hope that would be the case.

He felt Clarisse's hand slip down his arm to take his hand. She squeezed it tightly as they stepped out onto the front steps of the church. The crowd erupted into a loud cacophony of noise in excitement for their Queen. Even over the noise, he could hear her whisper. "Perhaps you could wave to them? It would mean a lot…"

Realizing they were cheering for him as well, he snapped out of his musings long enough to lift his arm in greeting to the masses. He tried to remember the lessons Clarisse had taught Mia about waving; but quickly dismissed that as being improper for a man. Moments later, he felt the hand on his shoulder, guiding him to the carriage that would carry them through the streets of Genovia and back to the castle.

Once away from the church, the noise died down some and Clarisse ventured a glance at Joseph. He still held her hand tightly; but had yet to speak. There was so much she wanted to say – to ask him – to reassure him…to reassure herself. He had always been the strong, silent type…but this was getting out of hand. She had taken the initiative but now she faltered. At the end of the day, they needed and drew strength from each other. Instead, she kept quiet and held his hand tightly in her lap. She had finally gotten him and she was not letting go.

By the time they reached the Palace, Joseph was starting to get his sea legs back. The realization that tonight Clarisse would be in his arms and he would be able to kiss her, touch her, make love to her, and wake up next to her slowly made its way through his brain bringing light and clarity to the previously muddled mess.

Neither spoke as they made their way to her suite. Clarisse, due to the nervousness that had now permeated her body, and Joseph…waiting for privacy. They stepped inside and, before closing the door, Joseph silently waved away the security. He had been protecting his Queen for many years now…that would not stop just because she was now his wife.

Clarisse couldn't take it any longer. She moved to stand in front him, her eyes filled with questions and doubt. "Joseph, you have been very quiet. I fear that you may be doubting the wisdom of accepting my proposal. Please…" she reached up to cup his cheek, "say something…"

Realizing the truth of her words, he now understood how she must have interpreted his actions or, more appropriately, the lack thereof. His hand reached up to cup her cheek, mimicking her actions. His thumb slowly slid across her full lips, eliciting a small murmur of pleasure as they parted slightly under his touch; her eyes closing from the sensation. "The only thing I'm doubting is why I didn't do this earlier…"

A breath later, Clarisse felt his mouth crush down on hers, unleashing all of the emotion that they shared between them. Knowing they no longer had to hold anything back, the kiss was filled with passion, love, regret, and many more emotions too myriad to name. She felt his head angle as his tongue swept across her lips, seeking entrance.

His hands slipped from her cheek to behind her head, guiding her in the kiss. He felt hers slip lower to the inside of his jacket, spanning first his chest and then around to his back. Her frame melded against his as her mouth opened to his advances. It was his turn to moan as he tasted the mingled flavors of tea and the mint of her toothpaste. When the tip of her tongue slid around his, he was totally lost. He knew without a doubt that this kiss offered the promise of a wonderful evening to come…

"Now THIS is the kiss that we were all waiting to see at the church."

tbc