Authors Note:
Okay guys, i'm back from my little vacation. I hope you guys like this chapter, it is a little more about her power and how to control it. Its a little longer, so keep reviewing! I have a few chapters written ahead, so ill be posting more frequently now. Thank you!
Chapter 37- My bad.
Kate lead me into the woods just about a half mile from the house. My nerves were high already from this and she could tell. She tried to make light conversation with me.
"So, I am happy you are safe." She said as we walked.
"Me too. It's good to see you. I just wish we could do something else." I said honestly.
"I know, but it's important that you learn how to control this. It's a pretty badass talent by the way. I don't usually get jealous over gifts, but I am with yours." She joked.
"Take it, I don't need it." I said lightly.
"Hey before Rose gets here, I just want to say that I'm sorry for giving you the advice that I did. I can't help but feel that if I hadn't told you to…you know…that none of this would have happened. I would have taken your place if I could have." She said sincerely.
"It would have still happened no matter what Kate. They were hunting me. Thank you for saying that though. I'm sure you would have kicked their asses before they had a chance to take you." I said smiling.
"That is probably true." She said smiling back. "This should be far enough."
"Far enough for what?" I asked.
"I figure that its safer for everyone if we are farther out here. That way when you throw me, I won't cause any holes in the Cullen house." She said laughing.
"I'm not going to throw you." I said.
"We will see about that." She said rolling her eyes.
I heard Rosalie approaching from behind us. She was walking slowly, eyes on me the entire time. I kind of liked this new Rose, she was very clingy, protective, and sweet. I could get used to this, but not right now. I had way too much on my mind to even entertain what we were right now.
"Hey Bella, I'm just here to keep an eye on you, no pressure." She said coolly, trying not to seem overprotective. It was cute.
"Okay, well let's get this over with then. What do you need me to do?" I said, trying to move this whole process along, I just wanted to get back to semi normal vampire life.
"Well, this is probably going to be painful, but we are trying to elicit a response from you, much like you had in the cabin a few days ago. So, if you feel yourself starting to feel any different while this is happening, let us know and we can help walk you through it." Kate said, matter of fact-ly. She seemed like she had done this a few times before. I'm not sure if that was a good or bad thing.
"Alright Bella, I'm going to give you a less powerful shock, let me know if it does anything for you." She winked after she said the last part. I looked at Rose, she just rolled her eyes. I was proud of her for not flipping out.
A jolt of electricity ran straight from my shoulder down to my toes, it didn't last for more than ten seconds, but still, it was painful. I cringed at the pain, but I could handle it. It wasn't as bad as what I had experienced before.
"Anything Bella?" Rose asked, visually seeing I was alright, just a little out of breath and light headed.
"Not yet, you're probably going to have to use more than that..." I said, trailing off. I really didn't want this right now.
"Okay Bella, we are going to amp it up and make it last a little while longer, ready?" Kate said.
"Yeah, go right ahea-" I didn't even get to finish my sentence before the next jolt of electricity was shaking me to my core. Way more painful than the last time, it had brought me to my knees. So much pain was traveling through my body, my teeth were shattering and I'm sure my hair was a mess.
"Okay Kate! That's enough!" Rose said, stopping Kate at the fifteen second mark. She was visually upset this time, I could tell she couldn't handle seeing me in pain again. She didn't want me to go through with this, but she also knew I needed to do it.
"Bella? Feel anything yet?" Kate asked.
"No, just a whole lot of pain. I think I might be able to handle one more though, I need to get this over with." I said, trying to suck it up.
"Bella, you don't need this right now, you literally just got back to the house. You need time to recover from what you were just through. Come on, let's go back inside." Rose said, reaching out her hand to lift me on my feet. I took her hand, but shook my head. This needed to be done.
"One more time Kate, come on. Give me all you got" I said, wiping the dirt from my clothes.
Kate had a worried look on her face, and all I gave her was a small nod. I was sure of this, I needed to be tough for my family. Plus, the sooner I could get this over with, the sooner I could start worrying about other things. Like this female model standing beside me watching Kate like she was the spawn of the she-devil herself.
The last jolt of electricity couldn't have lasted more than three seconds, because when I woke up from it, Rosalie was on top of Kate, grabbing her hair and slapping her across the face. Kate was sending jolts of electricity through Rose, but somehow, she was fighting it and still slapping and pulling hair. I stood up, but I must have passed out again, because the next thing I remember was standing in the forest in front of Kate and Rose. Hands raised in the air like some kind of weirdo. For some reason, I heard Kate and Rose yelling at me to put it down. Put what down? I looked up and I was suspending what was probably a thousand-pound boulder above my head.
"Bella listen sweet heart, you can do this, control it, can you hear me? I know you're in there somewhere, come out and talk to me, please Bella." Rose was pleading, she had red marks all over her face and arms, so did Kate. Did I do that?
"I can hear you Rose, what do I do? I'm so scared." I said, I didn't know what to do with this huge boulder suspended over my head, it could come crashing down at any second if I snapped out of whatever trace I was in.
"Bella, just use all your strength you have, imagine the boulder being sent over by that stream over behind us, see it?" Kate said. I looked over to where it was, it was about fifty feet from me. There was no way in hell I could do this.
"You can do it Bella, please." Rose said, terrified that this boulder was going to smash down on me.
I tried walking with my hands in the air toward the stream, the boulder shook, this wasn't going to work. So, I tried with all my power to visualize the boulder floating across the way and into the stream. No more than a second later, it started moving. Was I doing this?
"That's it Bella! Great job!" Kate and Rosalie were cheering me on, this felt kind of good.
Before I knew it, the boulder was placed in the stream and they were running over towards me. Rosalie picked me up and shook me, I could tell she was pretty happy with what I had accomplished. I noticed at that point that both her and Kate had tons of small cracks in their skin. It looked like their perfect skin was a windshield that was hit with a hundred small rocks. A few bigger cracks were noticed too.
"Alright so thanks for not killing us, but now it's time to talk about that thousand-rock storm you sent our way before you decided that the boulder was a better idea." Kate spoke up when Rose had set me down.
"I threw rocks at you? When?!" I said, shaken that I didn't remember doing any of that.
"Yeah, you suspended like maybe two hundred and threw them all at one time at us. It was kind of cool, but also really painful at the same time." Rosalie chuckled as she said it, but I could tell she was still proud of me. She looked at her arms that were already starting to heal.
"I'm just so happy we could get you to respond to us when you were in that state, we have to go tell Carlisle and the others!" Kate said, bouncing inside.
Rosalie took my hand for a second and looked me in the eyes, "You don't ever have to do that again if you don't want to. I'm sorry I started attacking her like that. She knocked you out cold and I didn't know how to control myself." She looked away, worried that I was mad at her.
"Well, it got me to that state of mind again, so I guess you helped out a lot. Seeing you being attacked is what sent me into that frenzy, so you don't have anything to worry about" I said, trying to ease her worry at least a little.
We were making our way inside slowly, I was enjoying the feeling of having her hand in mine, at least for a little while. I didn't want to worry about what we were right now, but it felt nice to have this touch. After the whole ordeal today, I really just wanted to find out more from Carlisle and Esme about this whole power thing, but they were out hunting for the rest of the day and wouldn't be back until the evening. Alice and Rose were hanging out, probably arguing about what to do next about me. So, it gave me some much-needed alone time, or what I thought would be alone time. Kate came into my room so quietly I didn't even hear her.
"Hey Bella, can we talk for a little while?" Kate asked, startling me from my thoughts.
"Yeah, sure, come on in" I said, a bit sarcastically. I just wanted to be left alone.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing with the whole power thing, and everything that happened today. I tried the best I could, but I'm happy with the outcome, even though I had to go through hell to get there" She said, chuckling.
"I'm doing alright, sorry about that by the way." I said. "I did have one question though, about all this. How did you learn to control your power?"
"Ha, don't worry about it Bella, I'll be back to normal in a few hours. She twisted her arm to inspect a crack in her prefect marble skin that was still healing. Hmm, my power was a little more difficult to contain. I should probably explain the whole story. You know I was born around 1030, right?"
"Erm, no, I had no idea you were that…" I trailed off.
"Old? Yes, I am pretty old. I would like to say I am just more experienced though." She said giving me a wink. "Anyways, it was about 1432 when I found my mate, Xenia. We were living in Florence during the beginning of the Italian renaissance, it was a beautiful time. But also, the most difficult for vampires. The Roman Catholic church was at the height in its power at that time, they had vampires at their head of command, and killing whomever got in their way, or even looked at them wrong. I assume you learned about the crusades?" She asked.
"Some, but I thought that was all earlier?" I felt dumb.
"They were, but only the last one was within a century of this time. So, the church was still had an aggressive stance. Xenia and I were living in a small cottage right outside of the city. One day, she had come home in a panic, someone had found her feeding on a mountain lion in the woods outside of our home. Rumors were spreading fast about a Demon woman that lived outside of the town. I knew the leaders of the church would be coming for us soon. You would be surprised to learn how many leaders have been vampires, especially in that day. I knew we would be no match for them. Control was everything to them, and we were living outside their law." Her face was changing, I knew this must have been a difficult story to tell. I just nodded my head and touched her arm, hoping that it would give her more courage to continue.
"We were packing our things that next night, we had planned on making our way to Greece because they were not controlled by the powerful vampires at the head of the Catholic church. We weren't fast enough though…" She paused looking down. "I still blame myself for everything that happened that night. Two vampires came into our home and took Xenia hostage immediately. All they wanted was for me to join them, they had promised that Xenia would be let go after I was gone. I kissed Xenia on the lips one last time, and was led outside of our home. I looked back one last time, and that's when I saw the man burn her alive, along with our home. She faded right in front of my eyes, the large man was holding me back. I couldn't do anything to help her. That's when I went absolutely insane. I exploded out with currents of electricity. I killed both of those men that night, and anyone that got in my way as I made my way out of the country side. I was a mess of a woman for the next few years, until I found my sisters again, still living in Slovakia. They were the ones that helped me control my power. But it was a hell of a ride until I found them again." She concluded. I could tell it still pained her after hundreds of years. I felt sorry for asking her this question, I felt foolish.
"I'm so sorry Kate, I didn't know…" I said, looking down. She grabbed my hand softly.
"No, Bella, don't be sorry. This is a story that I don't tell to everyone, but I feel like it could be helpful to you, so you don't repeat my mistakes." She said.
"What do you mean? Repeat your mistakes?" I said, a bit confused.
"Well, most vampires that have defensive gifts show their ability's when they find their mates. It has been assumed that the abilities express themselves in an effort to protect. It usually takes some sort of duress for it to come out, but normally those vampires don't show any kind of ability before they actually find their mate they are meant to be with." She said, my face in absolute panic.
"What do you mean? I have a mate?" I said a little too loudly, I covered my mouth embarrassed that I spoke so loud. I was worried Alice and Rosalie could hear.
"Yes, your mate. Some vampires are able to express their gifts from the start, Like Edward and Jasper. Alice's abilities didn't show until they found each other, and they were in some sort of duress about each other. Everyone knows this, I'm surprised you didn't?" She said, questioning me.
"Well nobody really keeps me in the loop about being a vampire, so I'm not really surprised this is happening." I said, seriously ticked off at Alice, but most of all Rosalie. She had the nerve to keep this from me, that we were mates. Are you kidding me? After everything? This is how she treats me? Not anymore, she won't. I was just getting up to storm into Alice's room when Kate grabbed me by the arm.
"Please, I guarantee you Rosalie had a good reason to keep this from you, along with everyone else in this house. She just wants what is best for you, Bella. I didn't mean to tell you like this, it wasn't my intention" she said, face full of emotion.
"Oh, it's not your fault, in fact, I'd say that you are the only one who is trying to help right now." I said angrily.
"Stop that, she was helping earlier before you nearly smashed us with a boulder. She may not know yet herself. It is common knowledge that many vampires won't express their gift until a situation like what you experienced, but she may have not put two and two together. If she does understand, I'm sure she did have a good reason for not mentioning it. I mean, you are still recovering." She said trying to calm me down.
"Here's my advice" She continued, "She might not even know about the good possibility of you two being mates. So, for right now, let it be what it is. You like her a lot, and from what I can tell, she likes you. Let it be natural. Find out if you two are, but don't put any pressure on it." She finished.
"yeah, I guess you are right. It's not like I know if we are either. Everyone is treating me like I'm a bomb, even Rosalie, I'm sick of it." I said upset. I sat back down and crossed my arms, a little too childishly.
"Well, right now you kind of are." She said laughing. I gave her a look that made her stop laughing.
"I mean, the gift you have is very powerful. Everyone just wants to make sure you are kept safe…and that you don't throw any huge rocks on us." She smirked.
"Well, just don't upset me and you will be fine." I looked up at her with my own smirk. She had a way of making me feel better. I was glad to have her in my life.
"So, we can try again if you want. I just don't want to push you too much." Kate said.
"I want to control this, it was scary seeing what I am capable of today. I don't want to hurt anyone." I said.
"Ok first thing tomorrow we can go bac-.."
"No, now." I interrupted her.
"I'm not going to shock you again in this house. Rosalie will be in this room and bashing my skull in faster than you can black out and find a house to throw." She said teasing.
"Why can't I learn to do it without you shocking me?" I asked.
"You can, but we have to figure out how to get you to focus. Here…" She got up and got a pencil from the desk. "How about we start small. Try to focus on this pencil. See it moving off of my hand and into the air. Shut everything else out, ok?" She said seriously.
"Ok…" I scrunched my face trying to concentrate on the little utensil. Nothing happened. The pencil did nothing as I focused on it. My thoughts were not fully on this pencil. I had so many other things to think about.
"See it moving, imagine lifting it with your hand. Mimic the movements with your fingers if you need to."
I focused all of my attention on seeing it move. I lifted my hand and pretended to pick it up, but did not touch it. Nothing happened at first, but when I mimicked the movement again I focused hard on seeing it move. The sharp end of the pencil lifted slightly in the air, it shook slightly. Then the eraser side came up off her hand and I had the entire thing in the air. It didn't hold steady, but I was doing it. I smiled big and looked to Kate she met my expression with a grin of her own. The pencil dropped to the floor when I lost my focus.
I just fucking did that.