A/N: Mature Content ahead. Readers are warned!
34. Conflicting
Edward's POV
Leaving the house had to be the hardest thing I had ever done. It was hard to be away from Bella when she was pregnant. Despite the fact that the kid was Mike's, I loved it like it was my own. It was a part of Bella and I would love that kid no matter what because of that information. Discovering Bella was pregnant had been hard but to find out she had been raped the night before she knew made me so angry. I had never been so angry before in my entire vampire life. I wanted to kill Mike slowly painfully draining him from all the blood in his body before tearing him apart. I knew it would be hard to be in the room when she had the kid but I had to try something. Isabella would never be alone again, I would see to that fact.
"Edward? Let's go hunting!" Alice called from behind me. I could hear Bella downstairs with Esme eating her lunch. I turned around to see Alice with Jasper who looked a little in pain. It was hard to forget that Jasper was having a much harder time with Bella in the house. She didn't really cause a problem but her pregnancy made things harder for him. He told me her emotions were heightened during this stage and her blood was even worse. Sometimes it smelled bad but there were times it smelt better than ever before. Her blood barely sang to me these days because I had to watch her pain and not do a thing to help her. The idea of hunting sounded appealing but I dreaded leaving Bella so close to the birth.
"Things will be fine with Bella. She'll take a nap after you leave and be right as rain," Alice said with a grinning smile. I read her mind as precaution; Alice knew how important Bella was. Everything seemed fine through the entire time we were gone. I knew this was the time that we should take the longer hunting trip in preparation for the birth at the hospital. It would have been much better if Bella had chosen to have the baby at home with Carlisle giving birth but she knew it had to be at the hospital. Charlie would want to be there at her side to meet his grandchild. I sighed nodding, "Later. I want to spend some time with Bella." I informed her. She nodded pulling Jasper with her as I headed down the stairs. Bella had been so tired lately that all she did was sleep most of the time. Carlisle said that was totally normal since she didn't get much sleep at night from waking up so often.
As I came downstairs I saw Alice and Jasper leaving the kitchen heading back up the stars. Alice must have talked with Bella because she hiding something from me now. I gave her a curious look which she evaded confirming she was hiding something from me. I walked into the living room to find Bella stretched out on the couch as I walked over to her smiling down at her. I heard the distinct rise in pulse from her as I lowered down to her level, "Are you alright?" I was constantly worried about her. She merely nodded giving me a grin, "Perfect. This kid can't come soon enough." I chuckled reaching over and pressing my cool lips against her heated forehead before sighing. I hated having to leave her but I knew it was best. She must have heard the sigh as she asked, "What is it, Edward?" she asked with a hint of worry. I looked up at her hoping my smile would ease her nerves, "Alice and Jasper are going hunting tonight. At their mention of hunting, I realized I haven't been in a while about a month and a half. I know you need me in the operating room with you at the hospital so I need to take precautions. We're going to be gone for three to four days so I can hunt to feel stuffed so I don't take risks," I said gauging her reaction. She frowned and I knew it was probably the idea of me being gone for so long. There was something in her eyes that she was hiding from me; I had noticed it the day of graduation. I trusted Bella so if it were important she would tell me.
Her entire life was devoted to the unborn child. Though the closer it came to the birth I wished I could read her mind. If she were in something dangerous again as soon as the child was gone she would risk her life for everyone. "If you think that's best," she replied, "I'm sure Alice will see if anything changes while you're gone. I love you, Edward." If my heart could skip a beat it would every single time she said those three words. I grinned at her leaning over to give her a proper kiss along with a hug. It felt so good to have her in my arms out of harm's way. We stood together me helping her from the couch so we could spend some time together. I pulled us into the room with the piano since it felt like I hadn't really played in a while. Bella once told me that the music helped calm the child when it was restless. I helped her on the small seat beside me as my fingers moved across the keys. I felt her lean against me as the sounds of her lullaby floated around the room.
It felt like paradise just sitting with her at my side as the music floated around us. Having her live here with me had been the best decision we ever had. It's such a shame that it couldn't have happened sooner. We sat there for so long; I could have sat beside Bella on that seat for all eternity. I barely even noticed how much later it was becoming until Alice entered the room. Her mental voice invaded my mind as did her scent which was mixed with the fabric of her clothes. "It's time to go. Jasper's getting restless, we're ready," Alice said before she left the room. She sounded a little guilty as sadness intertwined her tone of voice. I finished the song taking in Bella's beautiful scent and the feel of her body against mine. After the song, I turned smiling sliding my fingers along her cheek, "I'm sorry I have to go…" I trailed off actually sad about leaving her. She shook her head her brown hair bouncing slightly, "I'm glad that you're going. You thought about hunting to keep me and the baby safe so you could be there when I need you. Just remember I love you and nothing will change that." I sighed taking her hand helping her up from the seat walking toward the back door of the house.
My mind was whirling as we walked to the back door. There was something that was always on my mind. A few feet from the door I ended my silence, "Remember the talk we had at the restaurant before I proposed?" I asked her waiting for her response. She nodded confusion covering her face and I spoke again, "I've been thinking about it lately. The closer we get to the birth, the more I think about it. I just want to make sure it's what you want. To be like us, like me, it's not easy." I saw the nerves on her face before she spoke, "Do you not want me around that long?" She asked twirling her fingers around each other. Shock registered on my face as I frowned shaking my head adamantly quickly pulling her into my arms, "In all honesty, no time with you is long enough. Forever is a good place to start though." She buried her face in my chest and I knew she was smiling. I didn't like the idea of her as one of us but the idea of her dying and not being here was a lot worse. I am a selfish creature by nature and I have to have her at my side as long as possible. When we pulled away we were smiling and I took her hand leading us outside where Alice and Jasper were. Esme was standing beside them as they talked from what I could gather it was about Bella.
Momentarily I wondered where Rose was. Hopefully she could keep a good eye on Bella. Esme did a good job but she didn't hover like Rose. Lately I had been grateful for Rose and her hovering because when she was around my guard could let up just slightly. Though, I hated it that Rose was more partial to the baby more than she was Bella herself. Bella probably wouldn't think much of her actions since she was trying to protect the baby but I still didn't trust Rose completely. The conversation turned to the baby and I tuned it out knowing that even I didn't want to be included in that conversation. I turned to Bella leaning down pressing my lips against hers leaving her breathless from the passionate kiss. Esme had joined her when I pulled away giving her one last look before running to Alice and Jasper. Alice gave me a knowing smile as I glanced behind me watching Esme help Bella back into the house.
We run together with distance between us as we race over the river toward northern Canada. We'll be hunting the entire time until we get back. Jasper might not be at the hospital with the rest of us but he does need the extra precaution. It seemed like it took no time at all to make it to Canada by the time it was dark. I was looking forward to hunting and getting away from everything for a while. Hunting was the only time to release the animal deep inside and that is what I was going to do.
A few hours later, Jasper was still hunting but Alice and I had finished for the moment. Alice was leaning against a rock her thoughts filled with the national anthem. She knew I hated it when she kept things from me. "Alice? What is it?" I inquired. She glanced at me with a sly grin, "You'll know soon enough. I'm not one to spoil a surprise." I rolled my eyes shaking my head as I stared into the forest. Jasper had been hunting constantly since we left never taking a single break. I took a break after a few hours because I wanted to fill stuffed not ready to puke.
"You still don't like the idea?" Alice suddenly asked as the silence stretched on. I turned to her finally getting a sliver of her mind.I glanced toward the ground, "This life isn't for everyone. How can I damn her to this life after all she's been through?" Alice sighed shaking her head, "You'll be giving her a better life, Edward,a love that will transcend all other love." At the mention of Bella, I was beginning to get anxious. Being away from Bella just made me worried all the time about her. I could only hope that Esme was watching her closely so that nothing happened with that baby. My last hunting trip had been a few weeks ago for two days but even that wasn't far from the house.
Suddenly I saw Alice flinch before she froze. I listened carefully to Jasper making sure everything was alright. Nothing was amiss and then it happened. My mind was bombarded with images of Alice's vision.
Bella arrived at the Newton house. She was nervous her body shaking slightly. She was then seated in front of Mike before he hit her and she started running. I saw the bottle fly past her crashing against the wall before the pillow followed behind it causing Bella to fall. She fell against the floor against her side attempting to protect the baby but a shard of glass from the beer bottle cut against the inside of her palm. She kicked him breaking his nose and suddenly she was standing. The last thing I saw was Mike staring at her with a shot gun pointed right at her,"If I can't have you, Cullen certainly won't have you," he said before firing. Bella flew back into the front door as the gunshot hit her.
I came out of the vision my gaze immediately faltering. There was no time to wait for Alice or Jasper. My legs ran so incredibly fast. If I could cry I would have because the way my immortal life had gone I feared the worst. Bella was my life and without her my life had no meaning. She was like shooting star in my life, my life had been so dark before and she just shot across the sky blinding me from everything else I could see. She made everything else so dull in comparison to her. Despite not being human I felt like I was having an outer body experience. I was outside of myself which was probably a good thing. The only thing I wanted to do was to kill Mike Newton. I didn't care about repercussions I just wanted to drain the life from his body not caring about anything else.
It seemed to take forever to get back to Forks. I just hoped that whatever Mike did to Bella it didn't hurt the baby. Bella would be devastated if something happened to that baby. The rest of us knew what she was having but even I didn't think about it. The last of my Christmas presents were for the baby I couldn't even think of a world where Bella's child didn't exist. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket but I didn't even bother answering it because I was too focused. Red was clouding my vision as I saw Bella once again in the vision. The cut that scarred her skin had me in a rage because it barely missed her veins otherwise she would have died from the cut. If Mike didn't kill himself, I was going to kill him and enjoy every single minute of it.
In record time I was back home. The house stood tall but ominous. I could barely retain my sanity. Her scent was still in the house and I began to hope Alice had seen the vision in time to save her. I ran into the house but her scent was barely there only stuck to the furniture. Esme and Carlisle were standing in the living room but Esme had tears in her eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Edward. I checked on her every thirty minutes like Alice said. She's so close to giving birth that I kept checking. I had just checked her not too long ago and I was outside checking the flowers. Alice called just as Carlisle arrived home. We checked the entire house, we haven't checked the garage, her scent trails there," Esme sobbed. She had tears in her eyes that made her eyes appear glassy. She was feeling guilty I could tell just by hearing her thoughts. I ran through the house directly into the garage taking in her scent. It was faded but it was still strong almost as if she were crying. When her emotions were high it made her scent even stronger. I checked the keys and the cars to find both Rose's convertible and Emmett's jeep still sitting in the garage. My Volvo was missing, the only car missing in the entire garage.
The door squeals and I turned to find Carlisle. He stares at me before pulling out a cell phone, "It seems Bella got a call from an unknown number on her phone. There are also some deleted messages from an unknown number. They are old too perhaps Mike has been sending her messages she didn't want you to know." Suddenly everything made perfect sense. It was the reason she had been so sketchy lately nervous whenever her phone buzzed. "We need to hurry," I heard myself saying, "Bella might not have much time." Carlisle nodded and we headed out running through town the back way as fast as we could. We couldn't risk someone seeing us at the Newton house right not because I wasn't sure how all of this was going to end.
We made it to the house but I could already smell the smoke from the inside. The blaze was small it hadn't yet come out of the house. We moved closer to find Bella halfway out the door of the house with the screen door wide open. The Volvo was the only vehicle in the driveway and the smell from the house was awful. Bella's blood tainted the entire house but something was off about the smell. Venom pooled in my mouth at the smell but it wasn't in hunger, I was bloodthirsty for Mike's blood to stain the floor. Carlisle and I immediately move to Bella's side checking her.
"She's lost a lot of blood. That's not the problem though. It seems she's fallen against her side but the blood had started before. She's in labor. She was shot in the shoulder but she's lost so much blood from the pregnancy. This is not good, Edward," Carlisle said inspecting the wound in her shoulder before moving her stretch pants. I glanced up toward the house growling as Mike's mutterings entered my thoughts, "Mike started the fire; he wants to die with Bella. He thinks she's already dead. He can't hear us, he's upstairs, and he started the blaze in the kitchen."
Carlisle sighs shaking his head as I watch him slide his fingers across Bella's stomach. He used his strength to tear her pants apart along with her underwear. Normally I would have been angry for Carlisle seeing this part of Bella when I never had but her life depended on it. Carlisle hissed glaring into thin air and I nearly crumbled hearing the curses inside his head. This was not good.
"Edward, she's lost too much blood. I've got a choice here and it won't be easy. I can save the baby but Bella will not survive. It's too late for her. You've got to make a choice right now, not a second longer," Carlisle said quickly to me. He was shaking his head as he looked behind him. I reached over taking her hand in mine the same hand that had the large cut from it. Carlisle must have seen it as well narrowing his eyes, "You need to wrap that. If we're going to save the baby we need all the help we can get." I sighed, my eyes welling with unshed tears, "Can the baby survive after turning Bella?" Carlisle frowned, "She's losing so much blood at the moment. Remember her heart needs to keep beating for the change to work. I need to know now."
Bella's own words from just earlier in the day echoed in my mind. She wanted her baby to survive no matter the cost to her own life. I knew the answer to Carlisle's probing questions but it wasn't an easy decision to make. To choose between the life of a baby and the life of the only girl I've ever loved was impossible. Mike was still upstairs but I could barely hear his mental voice. He would most likely overdose on the drugs but it didn't seem like enough. He would die and his body would burn in literal flames as it engulfed the entire house. "Edward?! I need your mind here. Make the choice!" Carlisle called pulling my attention back to Bella. Vengeance would have to wait another day. I would make sure some day that the Newton family paid for all of their mistakes toward Bella.
Suddenly a thought passed through my mind, "What about the wolves? The treaty clearly states we can't bite a human…" I trailed off knowing that I was delaying the inevitable. If Bella died I was going to follow right behind her. I sighed reaching my hand over brushing her brown hair away from her face, "I'm so sorry, Bella. This is what you want and I'm going to make sure you have it." I looked up at Carlisle and he nodded, "We'll save the baby and then change Bella. She won't survive this. Call Alice she can get Jasper out of the house. I'm sure Rose is probably already at the house. Rose can help us while Alice and Jasper fix this mess. The house needs to burn but I can already hear the sirens. Let's leave the car so they believe Bella was here, she died in the fire, Edward. It's the only way this all works out."
I nodded as Carlisle moved inside the house running quickly up the stairs. I heard him remove a door creating a stretcher for Bella. She couldn't be jostled too much. I whipped out my phone punching Alice's speed dial, "Alice!" Her usual perky tone was lowered, "I know, Edward. Jasper and I are on our way with a body. We'll make sure that it looks like Bella and everything. It's going to be okay, Edward." I glared up at the house hearing the low heartbeat of Mike's chest. "Killing Mike will not help. Bella needs you right now, Edward," Alice said through the phone. "Edward?!" Carlisle called. "I have to go, Alice. Get here as soon as you can!" Carlisle was leaning over Bella's body attempting to cover the gunshot wound at her shoulder, "We need to stop the bleeding otherwise her heart was start to fail. It seems the gunshot is only at her shoulder but I need her on an operating table." I nodded pulling off my jacket along with my shirt ripping it into small shreds. Carlisle was covering her shoulder with his hands blood coating his entire hand up to his wrist. I only hoped that she could hold on long enough for us to get her to the house. I reached over her wrapping the pieces of my shirt around her shoulder hoping to cover the wound. "It'll have to do, Edward. We have to get her back to the house," Carlisle said as we picked up the stretcher. It wasn't easy to run with the stretcher but we didn't have much of a choice before taking off back toward home.