Tali had cried until tears seemed to stop coming. Only then had she started meditating to try and calm herself down. There was very little else that she could do. The Imperial fleet sat in orbit over Arvahz, as the Maladkai called the planet, and seemed taken with a lassitude. Officers argued with each other and communications flew back and forth with Ova.
In the midst of it, Tasiele was allowed free reign of the ship, despite being nominally an enemy. Nobody knew what to do with her; some of the Imperials, faced with the prospect of stranding and fighting the Reapers without Tanda, openly argued for giving her the reigns of power as well. Regular Imperial ideology disintegrated in the face of the chaos.
And Tanda floated in a Bacta tank, and didn't wake up.
On the sixth day, Tasiele keyed the arrival chime on Tali's door. The woman, still barely more than a girl, looked up from a line of frantic messages from the Admiralty Board. She numbly—and it was very numb, considering the drugs to compensate for the infection she'd gotten kissing Tanda, not like she much cared now—activated the lock remotely.
The thirty-seven hundred year old Jedi Knight breezed her way in, face sombre. "Tali..."
"Is there any word about Tanda?" Her voice cracked.
"No. They're still trying to sort out why she isn't responding to the healing effects of Bacta."
"Then what else did you come for?" Tali looked up. She didn't want to give any kindnesses to this woman. They had done a duty together, but it was a duty that had led to this.
"We need to think about the Reapers..."
"I guess we do." Tali paused for a moment. "Well, I've fought them before. They're monstrous genocidal AIs who come out of the dark between the stars to exterminate all life in the galaxy every fifty thousand years."
"...Exterminate it? That explains more than a little about this area of space, though it seems even worse than that."
"Recycle it into more Reapers."
"Yeah, that's about bad enough." Tasiele grimaced.
"I'm sorry it was so hard to trust you, considering you were right about Tanda," Tali started, very glumly. "Everything I heard said the Jedi were... a monastic order for some reason. No attachments, no marriage, only very young children accepted for training..." She twisted her hands together. "But I didn't hear much... keelah, I'm better at tinkering with starships than the Force!"
"There's a place for everyone. And a duty, too. And right now our duty is to confront these Reapers... I will admit, the Jedi were moving in the direction you describe, so I'm not surprised to hear they completed that course. At the same time, I deeply regret what has happened with Tanda."
"She'll get better. She has to." She turned away. "You'd like Shepard, I think. When you're standing beside her... you feel like you can do anything."
"Well, that's good to hear, because I feel pretty used up, being trapped there for so long, and with all that I know gone. Just so you understand. I'll teach you. But..." She trailed off.
"Let's not talk about that."
"Okay." Tasiele smiled tightly. "These Reapers may be the most evil thing that have ever existed. Indeed, we are fortunate only in that they don't have the force."
"Something created them. I think they... very much made some mistake. Like we did. They set up stakes to impale the living, turn them into zombies... Turn people into goo to convert into Reapers."
" What we can trust in to fight them is only the force, and I can show you the force." A thin smile. "At least there are no Rakghouls here."
"How are we doing on the 'horror' scale?"
"Rakghouls are a plague of creatures of the Sith. To be even scratched by one is to guarantee you will turn into one, growing into a massive hairy beast without a mind or a sex or biological functional, seeking in a berserker rage only to spread the plague... That you have not heard of them tells me to my infinite thanks they are probably extinct by in the home galaxy as well. I see that through abominations of technology these Reapers are much the same, but at the same time, the Rakghoul are a good illustration of why we must always fight the Dark Side."
"It sounds like it."
"So, what do you think happened to their creators?"
"Probably the same thing that happened to us; they didn't treat them well enough, so they revolted."
"Just not alive to learn from their mistakes. Hmm, reasonable. Millions of years. That's hard to fathom, even on the time-scale of galactic civilisation."
"Sixty seven million is the minimum by the derelict we found... and they can apparently just overthrow governments like that..." She snapped two fingers, and shuddered. "We'll fight. What's left of us, we'll fight..."
"Everyone will need to fight, Tali. I am glad your people are with us, though the complications concern me."
"Which complications this time...?" She sighed, pulling her knees up in the chair.
"What of the droids that revolted against your people? Will your people joining the fight against the Reapers give us a new enemy in them?"
"They... actually want us to come home. Or so they say... Tanda's not very comfortable with it, and neither am I, but... they still call us Creators. They let us go... and they call the Reapers the Old Machines. They have as much interest in being enslaved as we do destroyed."
"Then perhaps we need peace with them. I had a droid once..." You could nearly hear the smile in her voice.
"... I'll have to introduce you to Arthree. She's adorable." Tali had an equal warmth in that. "She's an astromech. Not like Chitikka vas Paus. She's my combat drone, not intelligent or anything..."
"...It is very unfortunate about your people, though I commend you for finding a way to survive."
"We didn't have much of a choice... there was some hope that I could learn how to keep myself healthy enough to possibly go without the suit for a little while, at least." She shrugged. "It's to the point where not wearing them feels strange... like I should be screaming at all of the Maladkai to get back in theirs."
"That will be the hardest thing, won't it? What will the other Quarians think?"
"They already know, and Shock is the best way to describe it. Some anger with humans, but most people know it happened a long time ago and that's kind of silly at this point. How many of them are there? Are we outnumbered? Probably..."
"On a humble world like this? Perhaps not."
"If so, not by much... How many thousands of years have they had? It's nice to think of, anyhow. That things might go on... that there are relatives who can feel the sun."
"Yes." She paused. Closed her eyes. "It's hard for me to reconcile myself to a galaxy where the Empire won. This ship we're on... Once it would have been a command ship, you know."
"The Empire had twenty five thousand of them."
"Yes, I saw. My Inexpungable was only eight hundred and fifty meters."
"Still blasters, still lightsabres... but the ships got bigger. Technology moves slow for us." She drew herself back. "I should leave you be. I just wanted to help you think of other things."
"I can't really do that right now."
"I know. We do need to talk about your training, however..."
"After Tanda is better." Tali looked rather cold. "I think it's time for you to go."
"May the Force be with you, Tali'Zorah."
-
The next day, Tali was asked by the Chief Medical Officer to visit sickbay. She hastened there at once, filled with hope, only to find the CMO had already made excuses and left. Her heart started to fall, and kept falling, as she faced only the medical droid standing in her way before the bacta tank with her sedated lover in it.
"I am very sorry, Commander Zorah. However, the Moff won't heal properly," the medical droid mourned. "We don't know why, but the Moff's injuries seem resistant to normal treatment... Her lungs and digestive system remain incredibly weak and vulnerable and her immune system is virtually dead. The internal burns she suffered appear to be regenerating as burns. It is like there is a poison in her flesh that cannot be identified."
"... So you're saying she's a Quarian."
"I'm saying," the droid answered irritably, "That if we wake her up and remove her from the tank, our ruler will quickly die."
"I... apologise. Can I see her?"
"Yes."
Except the missing hands, there floated Tanda. She was pallid, but tranquil, immersed in the bacta.
"What did those... what did they do to you...?" She walked up, to hold a gloved hand against the glass, reaching out with the little she knew, to try and reassure Tanda, and... maybe give her healing a little nudge.
Not that she held out much hope of it working.
"Commander Zorah, there is another issue you should be aware of. Moff Pryl has listed you as her next of kin in the computers. You must therefore make the decision about when to cease treatment."
"Cease treatment, you bosh'tet? Say it honestly: Let her die."
"Yes, Commander Zorah."
Tali found somewhere inside to start crying again. "Would she wake up before she died?"
"Yes, she has been healed to the point she will die of inadequate oxygen supply or infection, and her brain functions are normal. With careful therapy, she may last long enough to set her affairs in order. This is considered very important by the..."
"Shut up, I've heard enough. Will it hurt for her to be here another day?"
"Of course not, the Bacta is keeping her stable."
Tali simply turned and left. She went back to her quarters, hunted down a bottle of Turian brandy, and, well, if anything was cause for drinking... Your fiancee, who you may never get to marry, is stuck in a bacta tank with no hope of recovery... because a dead Empire decided to spite you for fucking with them.
Tasiele came back around when Tali was drunk. Tali let her in, though she really didn't know why. "You're worrying over trying to figure out what to do with Tanda, aren't you...?"
"Next've... kin... she put me in the compuuuuters..." Hic. "So the droids asked..." She swayed. "Can't... heal her. Don't know what those booosh'tets did..."
"This Empire, I've discovered, is very racist."
"Yeeeeeeet they're outnmb... outnumbered... by Quarians and Asari both... interesting that..." She frowned. "But wats it maaater right noow?"
"Tali, that observation is not random. I think some of the generationalists want her to die now, and organise themselves around the population on Ova."
"That... had occurred to me. Not sure what to do about it... they served a Republic, an Empire, they don't care, as long as they have their fleeet."
"So, what are you going to do? Let her pass gently into the force now, or leave her in the tank indefinitely? That seems to be the decision they've forced upon you."
With the straw still in her mask, the Quarian girl broke down crying. "I don't know... I love her, we'd never gotten to talking about anything like this, she'd just asked about how marriage was supposed to work..."
"Tali... Her mind is still there. She's just sleeping."
"Yes. There's... Her insides are just blackened and choked with the evil deritus of the Sith. But inside the bacta tank, she is protected from the environment... It is not like her mind is gone." Tali frowned, trying to think through the fog of liquor. "... Then why can't she just stay in the tank...? Why do they want her to die...? So their lives can be easier...?"
"Well, legitimately, what kind of life would it be to live forever in a bacta tank?"
"I don't know, what kind of life is it to live forever in an enviro-suit? There's got to be... some way to help her, to heal her... isn't there...?"
...Tasiele paused, and then bowed slightly.
"Perhaps, Commander Zorah, you answered your own question right there."
"...That's exactly what I said to that stupid droid, he said I was stupid and that she'd die." Her thought processes did degrade a bit on that much brandy.
"..I see then. I thought her injuries were less severe than that. Forgive me, Tali'Zorah."
Her face screwed up a bit. "Or it's a droid who didn't understand what I said... He described her injuries, I said "So, like a Quarian..." and then he said if she came out of the tank, she'd die. I thought that meant the suit wouldn't work..."
"...Maybe you should ask again."
"You... are going to have to help me walk. The artificial gravity's malfunctioning..."
Tasiele smiled, and extended an arm.
-
First, Tali had used a battery of drugs on herself to sober up. Then she had accosted the droid with a series of highly detailed technical specifications relative to Tanda's biological condition. When she got the answers, she double-checked with the CMO. Then she went back to Tanda's quarters, using the access codes Tanda had given her.
Next came the suit-up checking. Once the suit was up-checked, she had started making simple cybernetic hands which would interface with the suit instead of Tanda's body, and go up to flush with the stubs of her arms, to be locked into place by securing rings she fitted inside the suit. Then she had the room the bacta tank was in sterilized—of course, as long as Tanda was in the bacta tank, they couldn't give real cybernetics, and if they took her out, she'd die.
Lungs too weak to breathe on their own... So much capacity lost. She finished modifications to make the suit provide pure oxygen by adding a backpack concentrator. That was the critical additional component.
Then she collapsed into exhaustion, but a hopeful sort.
...And twelve hours later Tanda, bars locking stubs of her arms to the computer-controlled cybernetics, was waking up inside of her Quarian suit, Tali swarming over her and having shooed the droids away. The antibiotics already pumping, considering her brief removal from the bacta tank before the suit was sealed.
"Lie still, love, I'm still making sure everything's working properly." Oxygen enrichment... good... filters... good... sterilizer for food, good... suit integrity... green.
"...What happened...?" Her voice halted through the suit, ragged for air and short of breath, and true to form, at least, she didn't move.
"The ghosts of the Ratakan are spiteful bosh'tets." She kept running the omnitool over. "What is the last thing you remember?"
"Losing my hands... You... You didn't want me to hurt her. My body, I can barely breathe, but I haven't-I haven't felt like this since I was a Commander."
"You... drew back up, and..." Her voice was thick as she stopped scanning for a moment. "...You stopped yourself at the last moment from giving in to the Dark Side and killing me, Tanda. The Rakatan tried to kill you to ensure... I would never be happy. Tasiele said something about me redeeming you, I don't know what that all means... but you're here, you're safe, and... You're mine. Mine, mine, mine and I'm not going to let you die!"
"I lied to you about the dark side, you know. I've always been falling to it, fifty hells, embracing it, because it was the Emperor's path to power. Not because of any other reason."
"... I figured that out, when you said you haven't felt this way since you were a Commander... Okay, the suit is good. Respect the suit, Tanda, breaches always come first... well, unless what made the breach is more likely to kill you while trying to get a patch on. That wasn't in Auntie Raan's lecture, but I've learned it since then!" She closed her eyes, and gently rested her head on her fiancee's chest. "I still want to get married."
"If I'm in this suit for good it's because I've been turned into Vader. You'll never get to lay with me at all..." Tanda wasn't stupid, perhaps unfortunately.
"You're a Quarian, more or less, until we find a way to heal you. Lungs need enriched and filtered air, digestive system needs special food, and immune system needs to be helped as much as possible... you're no Vader, despite how terrified the idiots on your crews are about that."
Tanda stirred, a little. "It's worth it to be with you."
"I wasn't going to pull the tank on you! I was not going to give up, Tanda... and we'll find a way to help you recover. I'm not letting a bunch of demonic ghost frogs win." She took a breath and continued indignantly. "Nor am I letting your damned crew push you aside... I'll... give you the suit lecture, even if it should be your mother doing it..." She shook her head slightly. "Tasiele's on the ship, and your people... well, seeing you up and walking will be helpful, and while you shouldn't revel in it, they'll be terrified of you in the suit."
"The only thing that matters is that you're not terrified of me."
"Keelah, I wouldn't even think of it!"
"Let's see if I can breathe enough to stand up now."
Tali watched as Tanda pulled herself to her feet, looking dizzy. "Tanda, the oxygen is as high as it will go... It's one hundred percent."
"I'm barely getting enough."
"Well, then I'll be at your side to help you walk." She folded Tanda to herself, and together, they went to the bridge. She couldn't bring herself to despair at how close to death her lover was. She was alive! And they had a future.