Chapter XXVIII: Sine sole sileo (Sawada Household / Namimori / Current Day)
A/N: As always I owe an enormous thank you to Ai-chan and thi_hoai, for all of their help in inspiring and beta reading this beast.
This chapter is NC-17/Mature. It contains gay sex, in the form of R27, with references to X27.
This is the second to last chapter, my friends! I had planned on inserting another Interlude before this chapter, but after polishing it, I find that it will fit better in the next story arc, Ex umbra in solem. So I'm holding it back so that it makes more sense in context. It's a wonderful Verde chapter that I hope you'll enjoy, and you will be seeing it soon enough.
This is the start of the end for Vivi memor leti. This is the last full chapter, with the last chapter acting as a closing book end to the stories I started in this story arc. But many of you have noticed the hints dropped here and there throughout the story about future events yet to come. I plan to expand on those and continue to weave in clues and patterns that will lead to the future that I believe this Tsuna will create.
In addition, now that the TYL arc is coming to an end in the manga, I can update the range of anime episodes and manga chapters I can pull information from, which will allow me to expand more thoroughly on a number of theories I was waiting to fully address.
Ex umbra in solem will focus on the efforts to remove the Arcobaleno curse while the young Family finishes high school. It will also branch out into more points of view, focusing primarily on Tsuna, Xanxus, Hibari, Gokudera and Reborn as the story moves forward. There will also continue to be amusing or dramatic Interludes. You'll also see more of Chrome, Ryohei, and other characters.
Lastly, a quick note on the girls! Just because they aren't prevalent in the story to date, please don't assume I've written them out. Each will play a strong and important role in the Vongola Family in the future. So I did my best to incorporate them here, in a household scene that I thought would express how common their presence around the others really is.
Enjoy!
If there was one thing Tsuna should have always remembered, it was that Lambo and study sessions never mixed well. Inevitably Reborn, Hayato or I-pin got the boy so riled up he couldn't take it and the same thing would happen. The 10-year-bazooka would appear and Lambo would use it to escape the situation. Occasionally, something worse would happen and someone else would be hit instead. Today had turned out to be one of those days.
Tsuna stared in horror at the large poof of pink smoke where Reborn had been just moments before and waited for the smoke to clear, his whole body shaking in fear. This had happened before and with terrible consequences. He remembered it so clearly.
He knew the others could never understand his terror and were staring at him in shock, but Tsuna remembered seeing Reborn hit with the bazooka and finding out that the reason that no future Reborn appeared after the smoke cleared was because Reborn was dead in the future. It didn't matter what he'd heard from the future Kyoya; no matter how hard he tried to breathe, he couldn't. He could feel himself panicking and couldn't stop himself at all. His vision was beginning to blur and he fell forward into arms that caught him easily.
"I'd almost forgotten what a big crybaby you were, Tsuna," a dark, deep voice muttered against his ear as those arms steadied him and then straightened him up again, holding him close. "But I suppose I can imagine why you're such a mess all of a sudden. Still, there's no need to cry like a girl over me. You'll just be feeding my ego."
A deep breath later and Tsuna's eyes were clearing, still wet but no longer blurry, and he stared up in shock at a very tall, very dangerous looking hit man wearing an adult version of Reborn's suit and hat. If it weren't for a larger and more aggressive looking Leon around his shoulders, Tsuna might have had a hard time recognizing him. Some part of his mind also noticed that this Reborn looked slightly different than his had looked when he'd changed form just a week or more ago; not different but younger. It took a couple of blinks and shakes of his head before he could really think again, much less speak.
"Reborn?" he asked shakily, reaching out a hand to touch him. He was terrified it was an illusion, and if it was, he was absolutely sure he would break completely this time and never heal. He still had too many memories of losing Reborn to deal with. "Is that really you?"
"Someone should kill that fucking little cow brat," Reborn grumbled, before lifting Tsuna up into his arms as Tsuna's knees gave out. "Or shoot him every time he pulls that fucking thing out of his ridiculous hair." Spotting Lambo hiding behind Hayato, Reborn glared at him. "You hear me, brat? Start running now and maybe you'll survive to see puberty. When I get back again I'm going to make you cry for days, I'll train you so hard."
Lambo ran, a sign of growing wisdom in the boy, Tsuna found himself thinking dazedly. He saw I-pin flee as well, and Futa followed them both out the door. None of that mattered quite as much as the fact that Reborn was holding him and was alive and well and so fucking big. He twisted his head trying to get a good mental grasp of the size of an adult Reborn. He had to do a lot of twisting because there was a lot of Reborn. What set him blinking again was that this Reborn really did look younger than the last time he'd seen Reborn's body shift in this time.
"Quit squirming, Tsuna, or I'll drop you on your ass," Reborn told him, arms tightening around him snugly. "This is twisted enough as it is, seeing you like this." Looking at the others who'd been studying with Tsuna, he glared. "Beat it, kids. You can play with him again tomorrow. Your boss and I need to have some quiet time alone."
Much to what was clearly Reborn's pleasure, Hayato stood first and bowed respectfully before packing his things to go. "Of course, Reborn-san. Boss, we'll finish studying before class tomorrow. Come an hour early. I'll make flash cards for you tonight."
"Yeah, I'll see you guys then," Takeshi agreed cheerfully, standing. "It's good to see that you grow up eventually. I was beginning to think you were one of those little people." Winking cheerfully at Tsuna and Reborn, he gathered his things as well.
"But…" Haru and Kyoko gazed between all of the boys and this new, strange man, "who is this strange man? Is it safe to leave Tsuna-san with him?" Haru asked, nervously packing up her things.
"He's a friend of the boss's old man," Hayato told them, thinking quickly. "They've done a lot of work together in the past, and Tsuna knows him pretty well."
"Oh, thank goodness," Kyoko sighed and relaxed, helping to clean up the last of the mess. "Tsuna-kun, we'll see you tomorrow morning then. Haru and I can make lunch for everyone as a reward for studying hard and especially Gokudera-kun for making us flash cards." She smiled sweetly at all of them.
"I told you, call me Hayato," the boy grumbled, offering to carry both the girls' bags down for them so that they could carry the dishes. "Boss, see you later."
Tsuna just watched as his once extremely crowded bedroom was suddenly empty. Then he yelped as he was tossed on the bed and the sound of the door locking was heard. Blinking in shock, he looked up at Reborn curiously, only to widen his eyes in shock as he watched the older man take off his fedora and jacket, setting them neatly on Tsuna's desk and on the back of his chair. Leon climbed down to nap in the last of the late afternoon sun on the desk.
"I'm sorry Reborn. It really was an accident," Tsuna said soothingly, wriggling himself up into a sitting position. "You wouldn't have been hit at all if I hadn't kicked the bazooka away from Takeshi. The last time he switched with his adult self while he and Hayato were both here, Hayato and I learned a lot of words we wish we hadn't, and I still can't get some of the mess those two made out of my spare blanket." Tsuna made a rude face at that. "I'm beginning to think being a raging pervert is contagious."
"If it is, you're the start of the infection," Reborn told him before settling onto the bed next to him, loosening his tie and leaning back against the wall, arms behind his head.
He felt so small all of a sudden, next to this adult Reborn. He'd gotten one long, hot scorching moment with the adult Reborn before his power had faded and he'd returned to his cursed state again. None of that compared to having the man sitting next to him on his bed his mother's house.
Tsuna often compared Xanxus to a lion but Reborn was a tiger, all lean lines, power coiled in every muscle, and attitude that radiated from every cell of his body, even as he relaxed. The sheer deadliness of the man vibrated through Tsuna and left him wide-eyed again. What shocked Tsuna the most, however, was that he felt absolutely no fear. That deep, dark power that was Reborn simply wrapped itself around Tsuna like a warm blanket or a loving cat, purring and stroking against him in pleasure. So he wasn't scared in the least by this. Instead, he felt elated.
"None of that is important right now," Tsuna shook his head before refocusing before leaning closer to him to get a better look. "You're alive, Reborn." He couldn't stop from reaching out to touch him, just to be sure. "You were hit with the bazooka and you came here. I was so scared there would be nothing but air." By that point he was so enthralled by this transition that he didn't even realize that his tears had finally started falling and trailing down his cheeks.
"Did you think all of these things you've decided to do won't change things, Tsuna?" Reborn asked him, flicking Tsuna's nose with a rough finger. "You made the decision to prevent things that you've seen and in doing so, you have saved people. The world is different from the future you remember and that Mukuro has documented for the archives. Each of those differences can be mapped to choices made over the years."
"I was so weak," Tsuna sniffled and let himself cry then. "All of those horrible things happened to the people I love the most, because I was too weak to stand up and protect them the way I should have. You were gone, and Colonnello, Skull, Viper, and even Lal was so sick she could barely move. They were hunting the Family. My Family. Vongola-fucking-hunts." Wrapping his arms around his thighs, Tsuna buried his face in his knees, not caring that he was shaking with the tears.
"If I had done all these things now to try to stop that, and all there had been was air, I think that would have been the end for me," he said, his hands squeezing painfully tightly on his forearms. "If the people who mean the most to you die because you are too weak to protect them, then what's the point of living?"
"I could turn that around, little boss," Reborn said thoughtfully, kicking off his shoes and crossing his legs in front of him. "If I was so careless as to let myself be poisoned and killed in some future, then I've failed at my most important mission, which is to care for you. If you were gunned down by the enemy and I wasn't there, then I should have been killed for being too weak to be entrusted with you."
"Don't be an idiot!" Tsuna yelled, his head rising up as he wiped his tears away with his shirt sleeves. "I would never be stupid enough to let myself be shot down like that unless I knew I wouldn't actually die! Even if you couldn't be there with me, everything you've ever taught me would be. You raised me to be too smart to walk into ridiculous traps set by egomaniacs."
The laughter that filled the room shocked Tsuna out of his tears completely and he continued to rub at his face as Reborn laughed at him. There was something about the sound that soothed him and made him want to relax and find out what was so funny. Finally dry, he blew his nose with a tissue and sighed.
"Sorry," he said, smiling slightly at the older man. "It's been a really crappy month. Mostly because you're still mad at me right now, but that doesn't mean I should overreact to everything."
Reborn simply smirked at him and glanced over at Tsuna's desk again, his eyes drifting over his schedule for the day, before the smirk widened to a grin. Something low and deep inside Tsuna clenched tightly at the sight of that grin and not in a bad way. Tsuna blushed, unable to stop the wave of red that seemed to start at his feet and end in his hairline.
"If I remember right, Tsuna," Reborn purred now, arms moving at lightning speed to lift Tsuna and resettle him into his lap, "you've argued with me about security for you, met and spent a couple of days with Xanxus, seen your father and Basil, and this was the crash study session to help you pass your math test tomorrow. Am I right?"
Tsuna nodded at him slowly, more than a bit surprised at his memory of these things. Then the list caught up to him and he blushed even darker. This was the week he'd lost his virginity to Xanxus, and he knew Reborn knew about that, but not that this Reborn knew about that and it was making his head spin.
"Unlike some of the others you keep around you, Tsuna," Reborn continued with that purr in his voice, his hands turning Tsuna to straddle his lap, facing him, "I'm smart enough to remember what I've done in the past, and how long things like this might last. I have no problem with getting ahead of my past self on some things, especially when it comes to you. After all, you're already mine."
Before Tsuna could ask him what that was supposed to mean, Reborn kissed him, his mouth hot and possessive as it brushed his before becoming more aggressive. A scalding tongue running along his bottom lip enticed Tsuna into opening his mouth for him. Tsuna whimpered into Reborn's mouth as their tongues stroked against each other eagerly. His hands were fisting in Reborn's shirt as he shifted on his lap, squirming with excitement.
Chuckling against Tsuna's lips, Reborn pulled him closer indulgently, letting Tsuna feel how hard the older man was for him already. As the kiss broke, he nipped at Tsuna's mouth playfully as his hands wandered over the teenager, touching, teasing and exploring demandingly. Tsuna was unable to focus on any one thing because Reborn seemed to have hands everywhere and all of them touched parts of his body that seemed to be connected directly to his cock, the way Reborn was making it throb and ache.
"Reborn…" Tsuna moaned, arching into his touch urgently, desperate for more. "What are you…?"
"What am I doing, Tsuna?" Reborn chuckled and that voice vibrated through Tsuna's body. "I'm claiming what's mine while I can. I don't want you to ever forget who you belong to. All these fucking kids clinging to you are such a pain in the ass sometimes, and that fucking bastard…" He growled almost as though he didn't realize he was doing it.
Tsuna's shirt vanished and hit the floor on the other side of the room. Reborn took advantage of the newly revealed skin, marking it everywhere he could reach with teeth, tongue and lips. It was scorching and Tsuna couldn't help but moan and whimper for more as he panted softly, his head falling back to let Reborn do what he wanted.
"Are you angry with me about that?" Tsuna asked, almost afraid of the answer. "About them and the thing with Xanxus?"
"Little idiot," Reborn lifted Tsuna long enough to get him out of his pants and boxers before settling him on his lap again, practically purring as his hands wandered slowly over Tsuna's skin. "If it bothered me that much, I'd shoot them and get them out of the way."
Lifting Tsuna again to set him back on the bed, Reborn bent forward, his mouth trailing over Tsuna's stomach while his hand slid down to cup Tsuna's balls, fondling them lazily. "They're nothing but puppies compared to me, anyway."
With Reborn's hands touching him so intimately, Tsuna could understand what Reborn meant. There was nothing at all that he'd experienced up until this point that even came close to the way Reborn's touch was setting him on fire. Maybe it was part of that deep connection they had with each other, but it seemed like Reborn knew everything about his body that would make him lose his mind.
"You were so cute when you were this young, always blushing and stuttering," Reborn teased him, pushing him onto his back and crawling over him. He stopped at Tsuna's waist and lowered his head, giving his cock a long, hot lick. "But you smell too much like other people. It pisses me off. I haven't had the chance to make you taste like me, smell like me, feel like you're mine yet. I'll fix that now."
"I…I want to be yours," Tsuna admitted, watching him with wide, needy eyes. "But you can't tell the other you. He'll make me train until I die and tease me constantly about it."
Reborn threw his head back and laughed loudly at that, beyond amused. "Silly Tsuna. Do you think I haven't been watching you since the first day I saw you, the new boss, given to me to raise and protect? I know everything about you, Tsuna. Everything."
Tsuna flushed a deep red and squirmed under him. "You make me feel like I'm a pervert or something for it."
"No, Tsuna," Reborn nipped at his hip reassuringly, his hands working on shoving his own clothing off now. His shirt and tie joined Tsuna's clothing on the floor as he slid his body over Tsuna's slowly, letting him get a feel for the older man. "You learned very quickly to see the true me, not the cursed body I was stuck in. Love should be like that. You're not doing anything wrong in just wanting something that you'll have in time anyway. You just have to solve the puzzle to get it."
"Reborn…" Tsuna smiled at him and it was such a warm echo of what Reborn was lucky enough to see almost every day in his own time that Reborn groaned and stretched up to kiss him, his tongue diving into Tsuna's mouth possessively, not wanting anyone else to see even a hint of the smile that was for him alone.
With Reborn's words, any restraint on Tsuna's part was gone and he lost himself in exploring Reborn's body. His adult body wasn't as pale as the cursed one and there was a dusting of dark hair along his chest and arms that thickened slightly as it trailed down his stomach. Tsuna's fingers followed that trail only to be frustrated by Reborn's belt. He put his hands to work removing the obstacle, tugging it off and tossing it aside before working on opening Reborn's pants.
Reborn stopped him long enough to pull a small bottle out of his pocket before allowing Tsuna to push them off. As he kicked them down the rest of the way and tossed them onto the floor, he held it up teasingly. Tsuna's brain quickly caught up to the implication that Reborn probably carried something like that with him all the time and Tsuna blushed again, but this time with a demanding shift of his hips and a soft moan.
With a flick of the cap, Reborn was slicking his long fingers and before Tsuna had a chance to even gasp Reborn was pressing a finger into him slowly. It stung in a slow, burning way and Tsuna was thankful for his time with Xanxus and what he had learned. He didn't want Reborn to have to coddle him through this. He wanted to demand, beg, and urge rather than be afraid. So he forced his body to relax, lifting his hips to help.
"That's my Tsuna," Reborn murmured, his mouth returning to Tsuna's cock to lap at it lazily. "You're always so eager for me, demanding more and more until neither of us can move and still we keep trying. You always leave me wanting to fall asleep buried inside you so I can wake up and take you all over again."
His words, his mouth and his finger were driving Tsuna insane and he clawed at the sheets desperately, his hips lifting demandingly as he adjusted to the penetration. Reborn rewarded him with another finger but took his time with this, wanting to burn it into Tsuna's memory forever. He knew, because his younger self was watching the clock, exactly how much time he had here. When Tsuna cried out a babble of needy words, it made Reborn grin.
"Xanxus was good about teaching you how to fuck, Tsuna, but I'm going to show you what it means to make love. That way, you'll always know why it's different with me than anyone else," Reborn told him, fingers curling inside him slightly, making Tsuna buck and yowl with pleasure. "And you'll remember why you always make me come home early and leave late, and never let me lose myself in anything but you."
If anyone was lost at the moment, it was Tsuna, who couldn't think, couldn't speak, could only listen and feel and move. His hips moved eagerly, practically fucking himself on Reborn's fingers now. His hands gave up the sheets to tug at Reborn's shoulders pleadingly, desperate for more.
"So cute," Reborn smirked at him again, slowly pulling his fingers out. "Tell me what you want, Tsuna. I want to hear you ask me for it for the first time."
Tsuna looked up at him desperately before focusing enough to think again. Reaching up, he touched the side of Reborn's face gently. Somehow, that instinctive part of him that was so much smarter than he normally was knew what Reborn wanted, no, needed to hear right now. "Love me, Reborn. Please love me."
"How can I resist that?" Reborn asked before lifting Tsuna's thighs over his arms and pushing into him slowly. He took his time, savoring the sensation of burying himself in Tsuna. "Don't you know, Tsuna? I already do love you."
That was all Tsuna needed to hear and he was lost completely. The minute Reborn freed them, his legs wrapped around Reborn's waist, holding him close. His arms wound around Reborn's neck, clinging to him. He was sure that Reborn had achieved his goal here because he was sure that nothing could compare to his absolute need for the older man.
"Tsuna…" Reborn groaned in pleasure before sliding his arms under him and lifting him, moving to brace Tsuna's back against the wall, using his own weight to brace him there. When he had Tsuna settled, he started moving, his hips driving up in sharp but small thrusts, never fully pulling back. He wanted to stroke that spot deep inside Tsuna over and over again and feel every clench the sensations caused. "You're so tight around me. Can you feel it, how you're pulling me into you?"
"Reborn…" Tsuna wailed, his hand fisting in Reborn's hair. "So deep, inside me…"
Chuckling darkly, Reborn kept it up, pulling Tsuna into a deep kiss, his tongue stroking Tsuna's in time to their hips. It was an enormous strain on his self-control to maintain this when all he wanted to do was bury himself in Tsuna roughly, over and over, and mark every bit of his skin. That could wait until he was back in his own time, in his own bed, but for now he had this chance to leave a deep impression on his lover and he wasn't about to fuck it up by being impatient.
"Tell me Tsuna, do you like this?" Reborn teased, nipping at his bottom lip.
"Love…" Tsuna yowled and tilted his hips urgently, trying to force Reborn to speed up, "…love it. Love you, Reborn, always. This… I only want this with you. Only you, ever."
"Say it again," that deep, dark voice growled now, his control strained further by Tsuna's words. "Let me hear you say it again, Tsuna."
"I love you," Tsuna said, moaning in pleasure. "Only you can have me like this. I swear."
The sound of Reborn's control snapping was almost audible, and he pulled back almost completely from Tsuna's body before driving into him again in a long, deep thrust. Tsuna's wail merged with Reborn's moan of pleasure and in moments they were both lost, moving and thrusting and kissing, tongues sliding along each other around panting and moaning until finally Tsuna was unable to hold out any longer.
"Mine," Reborn snarled and buried himself as Tsuna cried out his name and broke, spilling over his own stomach in hot waves. Without a second thought Reborn lifted him and laid him down onto the bed before moving again, burying himself in that beloved shaking, trembling, yowling body a few last times before he cried out Tsuna's name, filling him in hot waves as he shook over him. "Never forget that, Tsuna. You're mine."
Tsuna whimpered beneath him in agreement, flushed with pleasure and panting with exertion. He almost sobbed as Reborn slowly pulled out of him, his body clinging to the older man. Smugly pleased at having proved his point and taught Tsuna this lesson, Reborn kissed him lazily. It was a loving and indulgent kiss full of affection and Tsuna soaked it in, relaxing back into the bed slowly.
"So cute," Reborn purred, finally falling to the bed himself and pulling Tsuna against him. "You're always so cute afterwards, like a happy kitten."
Blushing, Tsuna snuggled against him, arm sliding around his waist. "At least I grow up into a giant raging pervert with someone precious to me. I can live with that."
He watched Reborn as the older man reached for the box of tissues and carefully cleaned both of them up before pulling him close again. Happy, he nestled in Reborn's arms comfortably. This experience would stay with him and tint every other experience he had, and he was somehow really happy for that. It added perspective to what he'd experienced before with his friends and with Xanxus that made him more comfortable with all of it, somehow. He knew that his friends would eventually find experiences like that with other people and that made him happy, too.
"Tsuna," Reborn started softly, nuzzling against his hair, "things are going to be hard for a while still. You have difficult choices to make and a lot of things to figure out. I'll be there with you through all of it, so don't be too worried as things happen."
"How do you always know what to say to make me feel better, Reborn?" Tsuna looked up at him curiously, rubbing a cheek against his chest. "It's like some strange power of Tsuna-taming."
"It's because I'm the best," Reborn told him, smirking again. "It's also because I believe in you."
"I won't forget," Tsuna said, before a yawn overtook him. "Sorry, I'm just so tired all of a sudden."
"I know," Reborn tucked the covers around them better and rubbed his back soothingly. "Sleep. I'll be here in one form or another when you wake up. I promise."
There was something about the lack of concern Reborn had about his younger self returning to find a naked and very well-loved Tsuna that should have caught Tsuna's attention, but he was so tired. Brushing it off, he obeyed Reborn instead, letting himself drift off to sleep in arms that made him feel so safe that not even his nightmares could reach him. It would be a good night, and for that he was grateful.
Reborn stayed awake, watching him sleep and soothing away any sign of a nightmare until Tsuna reached the deeper sleep stages. Then he simply watched him, enjoying this quiet time in the past, Leon perched on his shoulder as asleep as Tsuna was. When the world finally shifted around him and took him back to his time, the only regret he had was leaving his new suit behind. Tsuna loved that suit, but Reborn was sure his boss would understand. Knowing his Tsuna, the little version of him would probably wear it whenever he felt like it, to make himself feel better.
When the younger Reborn returned to his own time, he found himself sitting on Tsuna's pillow. Tsuna himself was dead asleep in the bed, tucked in up to his chin. Curious, Reborn gave the room and Tsuna a thoughtful glance and then sniff before smirking slightly. It had worked, then.
He'd had to do some clever maneuvering to get hit by that stupid bazooka and make it look accidental, but it had ended well. His older self had apparently stepped up as properly as he'd expected and done what needed to be done. He hadn't been sure there'd be enough time, but apparently his efforts in recording these time shifts had paid off. In the meantime, he'd enjoyed a little time with the older Tsuna, who looked remarkably like he did now, if a bit taller. Good espresso and a fireside conversation had left him content and happy.
All in all, it was a day that had ended well for Reborn. His Tsuna was properly marked and had been taught, and would never consider straying, even while Reborn was burdened with this curse. He'd given the boy something precious today, hope for the future. It had worked out as well as, or better, than he'd planned. Satisfied, he changed into his pajamas and curled up on Tsuna's pillow with him, tugging the covers up around his chin as well. It didn't bother him in the least that Tsuna was naked. In fact, it made for rather pleasant dreams.
*Title translates to "Without the sun I'm silent".