Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to Rumiko Takahashi, not I. Some characters are from my imagination, but not many. Do not use this story without my permission.
The morning of the wedding came. It was an ominous, cloudy morning, and even the ravenous dinosaurs stayed in their nests. Lum and her team prepared for war, a last ditch assault on Kalu's castle to recover Ataru before the noon wedding, while Ataru was already waist deep in his own mortar shells. He was barred from seeing the bride again until the wedding, as was a normal custom, but he also had to wear an uncomfortable mask with a goofy, crayon-drawn face made by his lizards.
"Thanks for the mask, guys" Ataru huffed as his lizard devotees. They bobbed up and down happily while Ataru strained to move his mask off for a bit. "Sorry you had to get locked up in the holding pens, though. I really want you guys at the wedding. It'd probably get on Kalu's nerves." The lizards all clucked in their own, odd laugh at their master's humor. However, seeing no way for them to be used in his plans, he donned his mask once more and left for the dinning hall.
If I could just let those little guys out Ataru plotted, they'd go crazy and ruin the wedding. Without them, I have to keep up on my own. I can tell she's just about ready to break. My tactics will have to be more indirect now that we can't see each other, but I'll manage... As Ataru walked through the castle halls, trying to find a familiar room, Kalu's waiting women and dress maids came running up behind him.
"Master Ataru!" they worriedly shouted. "Thank goodness we found you!"
"Hey ladies" Ataru reflexively greeted with a smile under his mask, "how's it going?"
"Lady Kalu demands your presence!" one of the girls said urgently.
"She says it is of absolute importance" another continued. "You must meet her immediately!"
"But I can't" Ataru said. "We can't see each other until the wedding, remember?"
"It's alright" one maid said, grabbing him by the arm. "She's found a safe way to talk to you."
"Oh" Ataru said, getting dragged along. "Good."
HA! Ataru triumphantly laughed to himself. You've just put yourself in check! I've already thought of the ultimate insult... The women continued to speed him through the halls and up the stairs until they finally arrived at Kalu's changing room. Once there, Ataru was thrown into the room on his face and was greeted by the soft glowing of light from behind a silky curtain. Kalu sat daintily in he mask behind that curtain.
"Hello, Ataru" Kalu said very cutely.
"Yo" Ataru greeted, face still on floor.
"I...I've been feeling regretful about this" Kalu said. "We should have gotten more time to know each other before we married. I feel like we're being rushed. I just wanted to hear how you felt."
"Uh..." Ataru stalled, "I don't know what to think..."
Now's my chance! He told himself.
""I just know that Lum would be really sad if she saw this wedding..." Ataru lamented openly.
"I would think so" Kalu replied, smiling nastily behind her curtain.
"I mean, she could plan a better wedding in her sleep" Ataru said, striking a knife in Kalu's frail back. That was indeed a pus hover the edge for her and she silently grit her teeth and scowled at Ataru. "I'm sure she has planned better weddings. She would know just who to invite and where everything would go. Her ceremony would be perfect for her. Heck, if she wanted, she would be able to make it comfortable for me too!"
"Really?" Kalu said, straining to keep the regal quality in her voice. "How is our ceremony not comfortable to you?"
"Well" Ataru said, "I never even got a chance to run for it. Lum would at least let me run so she could chase me down...She'd make it a big event, or something. Also, she'd have her god-awful cooking everywhere and my sinuses would explode. But, at least knowing she'd be at the alter at the end, I'd be able to bear it...and I'd be happy." Kalu was now wringing and twisting a piece of steel.
I feel a need to brush my teeth after saying all that... Ataru admitted. But, I'm more than sure it work...
"GRAHHHHH!!" Kalu roared. She leaped out at Ataru from her curtain, but got caught in it and fell to the floor in mid dive.
"I can see you have some issues" Ataru said, "so I'll leave you alone for now." Ataru left, his confidence brimming from his happy smile, now that Kalu was broken. She would either call off the wedding or give a lenient time for Ataru to escape while she shook off his words and re-prepared everything. As Ataru left, a long and continuous scream of frustration echoed through the castle. The lizards all gave out a clucking chuckle.
"RAAARRHH!!!!" Lum roared, suited from head to foot in ammunition and holding two huge guns. "Let's go save Darling!!!"
"Hold on, Lum!" Benten shouted. "We can't just go running in, guns blazing, and expect to pluck him outta there!"
"This is a first" the recovered but still frazzled and singed Ran said, cocking and checking her gun, "you don't want to rush into battle head first and see how many bullets you can catch with your face."
"You got something to say to me!?" Benten growled. "I'm right here, red."
"Don't you dare get on my bad side" Ran hissed back.
"Please" Asuka pleaded, "stop fighting! We're all reasonable women here! I'm sure we can rescue...Ataru...if we try hard!" She had said Ataru with a gulp and a shiver, which begged to question her ability to save him when the time came.
"I'll meet you ahead" Inaba said, opening a door in the air. "Nagisa, thank you for the trans-dimensional compass."
"Oh you're welcome" Nagisa said. "I had forgotten that I had it." So Inaba left, leaving Shinobu under Mendo and Tobimaro's care.
"Fear not, Shinobu" Mendo said gallantly. "I won't let you come to any harm."
"Indeed" Tobimaro continued. "And where Shutaro fails, I shall persist."
"Hey, wait!" Mendo shouted. "Who said I'd fail!?"
"We know you'll fail, brother" Ryoko said as Shingo sharpened her swords and nails. "It's part of your duty as a Mendo heir to fail at life and friends."
"Shut up!" Mendo shouted at her.
"My, Lum" Oyuki said, trying to be polite, "your friends are very noisy." Of course, Lum didn't hear her. In fact, she had flown away to start roaring at the sky and the distant castle over the wind outside. "Oh my, this won't end well."
"Finally" Sakura said "a voice of reason...This is obviously a bad idea."
"Recovering Moroboshi is a bad thing?" Oyuki said curiously. "Is he that much trouble for you on Earth?"
"Well, no" Sakura admitted, lighting up a cigarette out of exacerbation. "If we show up too late, Lum will flip and force you to blow up the planet. However, if we do get there on time, she'll still flip out, beat Kalu to death and then force you to blow up the planet. Whatever way you slice it, all these dinosaurs are gonna die...among other people, of course."
"Oh" Oyuki said. "I see what you mean now. Lum can get slightly hot headed, but not so much that she'd risk her friend's health for a vendetta." As she said that, Lum started shooting lightning all around, hitting her friend Ran and accidentally forcing her gun to discharge. The laser blast from Ran traveled right onto Benten's lower metal bikini, which heated up instantly and forced Benten into a painful panic.
She went dashing around in search of water or any cool liquid and ran into Mendo, who fell over backwards into Ryoko, who retaliated with a volley of grenades into the base. The chaos continued until Sakura and Oyuki were caught up in it, then everyone was forced to freeze and calm down.
"That was so oddly coincidental" Oyuki said. Sakura seethed silently at the ice girl. She protected herself with a huge ice shield that also had Sakura freezing behind it.
An hour later, Kalu hadn't calmed down. The time for the wedding was unexpectedly pushed back to the afternoon with a reception dinner in the evening. The men and women working at the castle rushed around in panic to get everything ready. Amidst the chaos, Ataru enacted the next part of his stalling plan. He was able to steal the keys to the lizard pen and was now en route to his loyalist lizards.
This is just waaaay too easy Ataru said to himself. He stopped dead in his tracks after he said it, though. Although, from past experiences, this is about the time someone comes in and stops me. I should hide before I keep going! After looking around quickly, Ataru chose a large plant to hide in. Sure enough, the luck of the cosmos shifted with him, as a panicking Luko passed through the halls just after Ataru was hidden.
"Moroboshi!" Luko called. "Sir Moroboshi, please come hence! Your future lady Kalu has spite to distill upon you!"
Not this time, blue boy Ataru said. He snuck off to the pens. Once the lizards saw him crouching to the ground and softly creeping over, they got the hint to stay quiet. So, they all smiled and held their stubby hands to their mouths, bobbing their heads like they were stifling chuckles.
"I'm counting on you guys" Ataru whispered as he unlocked the cage. "Make some noise, cause some damage; don't let this wedding happen. Got it!?" The lizards nodded in unison, then sped off on their own. Ataru decided to take a shortcut to get back to his upstairs room, but as he rounded the first random corner he became quickly aware of how little he knew about the castle itself. Now, Ataru was lost and just waiting to get discovered.