Sorry about the wait, I was camping! Again though, sorry.

Chapter 36

Prim's pov:

It was unbearable to listen to Nick's pounding fists hitting the doors over and over again. "Go, please just go," I keep pleading to myself. After what seems forever, the repetitive thud against the wood stops. Suddenly, I wish they'd return. Knowing what I might go through tonight, I don't want to have to do it alone. I want him here by my side. I want him to give my hand that reassuring squeeze like he did the first day of school. I want his arms wrapped protectively around me with him whispering in my ear, "We can leave. We don't have to stay for this. If you want, we can leave." But of course, for tonight, none of these things will happen. I have to do this alone.

Josh takes my hand and twirls me around so he can get a good look at me in this elegant dress. "You look beautiful. The dress really suits you. You both appear to be… glowing."

I clench my jaw and practically spit out the words, "Thanks, that's very kind of you," I don't even try to cover the venom in my voice at calling this man kind.

We stand there in a long silence. Finally Josh clears his throat, "Will you come eat with me in the dining room?"

He sweats like he's nervous. Or maybe he feels some what guilty. I shake my head, he is not guilty. That's not his style. He would think things all the way through before making his decision to do something. Stupid little douche nugget has to think things through; I bet he's always got a plan. I have to give him props though for I also bet he has no regrets.

Nervous. I play around with the thought of this cocky dick face being nothing but nervous. I'd be nervous too if I were him. Being pregnant, I've found a crazy new strength and I've been itching to try it out with a punch to his little pretty boy face. I think of my insults: douche nugget, dick face, pretty boy; I shake my head and give a muted laugh. I really need to think of better insults but whatever, as long as I don't say any out loud I won't embarrass myself and they help me vent my anger to feel better.

I return my thoughts to his question, "Uh, I already ate."

"Well, wouldn't like anything to eat? I'm sure you're starving," you know, eating for two and all.

It pisses me off how he can get in my head like that. "I'm not hungry," I lie trying to make him mad to even our playing fields.

It works. He bites his lower lip in what seems to be annoyance, "Well why don't you join me at the table that way if you change your mind you can always take some food. Maybe you can even take some with you and share it with that boy that's always staring at you," my face flushes red hot at his teasing but then he adds more to himself, "Of course I can't really blame him, you're so damn beautiful." I grow a little confused. Is he making fun of me or is he actually trying to be nice? I brush it off.

He leads me through his kitchen back to the behind room that I know to be his dining room. His long elegant table is decorated with white cloth, candles, fashionable bowls of gorgeous fruit, and all of my favorite Capitol foods. There's a bean salsa dip he's caught me eating by spoonfuls instead of with the appropriate chips or salad. There's a dish of chicken and harvest vegetables swimming in a creamy spicy sauce that varies in colors each time it's made that he's caught me, when I thought he wasn't looking, lick from my plate once before. There's delectable finger foods such as miniature sandwiches, skewered meat and grilled vegetables, crab and cream cheese filled wontons, jalapeno poppers, stuffed mushrooms, and more that I couldn't stop popping into my mouth every chance I got at the party in which he proposed to me. There was a dish I know he'd seen me steal from his fridge numerous times before. It was delicious in a strange, unorthodox way and he'd invented it himself: pears and onions sautéed in a frying pan and sprinkled with brown sugar. I remember him helping me make it once when my stomach wouldn't stop growling at midnight. I stared in awe and surprise. Not because of all the food, not because that with this last dish I'd realized he made all the food himself, but because at the end of the table where I was undoubtedly suppose to sit, there was a side bowl and a box of Cap'n Crunch.

I turned to look at him then back at the food. A little confused as to if my eyes were really telling the truth, "Josh, how? Why? This is amazing, no it's spectacular, I can't believe you…"

While I was stumbling over my words he sat down at the table and motioned me to do the same. With a small chuckle he says, "You didn't think I paid attention after all these years did you?" I would have answered or apologized for my ignorance or done something but my mouth was already full of a million different flavors as I shoveled bite after bite into my mouth so I just responded with an "Mmmhmm."

He nods in approval at my appetite but warns me to slow down so I don't get sick and mentions that there's still dessert.

I look up from my plate and swallow my mouthful of food to clear my mouth. I say my first words since dinner started, "Dessert? Oh is it cream puffs? Or fondue, or is it pudding pie. Are there éclairs? Because if there's éclairs you know I won't be able to control myself."

He just laughs and shakes his head. His elbows sit on the table and he rests his jaw on locked hands raised to my eye level. "There's all of that plus more."

I nearly shriek with delight but then I remember. This man purposely got me pregnant for reasons beyond me. He is not a good person. Suddenly, I'm glaring daggers at him and push my plate away from me, "I don't want anymore of your food," I say with disgust.

He nods in an understanding way, "So you know it was me?"

"I figured that out a long time ago. What did you think would happen? I'd get knocked up and then agree to marry you? Why would I marry such a conceited, revolting, self centered dick face like you?" Dick face, forgot about how stupid my insults sound out loud.

I keep yelling and screaming the worst things I can think of at him but he doesn't respond. He just lets me scream out my anger without any reaction out of him and that just makes me even more pissed off. After a good ten minutes of me throwing a fit I stop. I am now standing, my fists clenched, my face red, my jaw clenched, and I'm breathing like I'd just ran a marathon. "You done?" he asks as politely as he can. I stand there panting in reply. "Do you want to hear my side of it or do you want to just accept your own accusations that I'm this awful evil man?"

He waits patiently for my response as I catch my breath. "I don't want to hear anything from you!"

"Okay," he says very matter -of-factly and excuses himself from sitting. He makes his way over to me. At first I'm afraid he might slap me, but instead he picks up several plates of food and takes them into the kitchen. I see that through the open doorway he's putting the food in plastic containers incase I want to take it back to the training center. At first I want to yell at him to not bother packaging it, that I won't eat anything of his, but the food tasted so good and I'm still too out of breath to speak. I watch for several minutes as he clears the table, packages the leftovers for me and then starts bringing in plates of dessert. He sits and begins nibbling at a piece of cobbler.

I sit as calmly as I can and swallow my pride as I take a bite of a rich chocolate cake. How can he be so okay with this? The reason he called me here tonight was to explain himself and I said I didn't want to hear it so he says okay? Okay? He just leaves it at okay. Curiosity starts to build inside of me, finally I blurt out my undying question, "What is it? Your side of it I mean."

He puts down a jar of jelly preserves he was spooning onto his plate, "You sure you want to hear it?" he asks with a raised eyebrow. "Because there are some parts you're not going to like."

I bite my lips together and nod.

"You can't interrupt me when I tell you."

This might be hard but I agree.

"Prim, I love you." I begin to protest with snappy remarks about how someone that loved me wouldn't do this to me or put me in this situation but I hold my tongue remembering I agreed not to interrupt him. "I love you more than you know," he continues, "I knew the Capitol was growing stronger and was going to begin taking over the districts. I also knew a girl as stubborn and hotheaded as you wouldn't be able to resist trying to rebel or trying to fight back," he gives a one noted laugh, "So I proposed to you. I was hoping you would accept without thinking you had a choice. I was hoping I could get you to move in the Capitol with me so you wouldn't get hurt when they started taking over but you fell for that boy. There was no way you could leave him. You love him about as much as I love you." He closes his eyes for a minute like he's pained, "I would never dream of splitting you up and tear you from happiness but I was growing concerned for your safety hence my rash behavior that night. I knew you wouldn't want to see me again so I didn't ask the Capitol for your company. I learned through gossip in the city that the Hunger Games were back on this summer. I knew that you'd be a tribute. There's no way they'd let you go on living with all the trouble you caused them so I called a friend in for a favor."

I raise a suspicious eyebrow, "A favor?"

He closes his eyes and turns his head away from me, "I asked him to get you pregnant."

"So you're not the father?"

"No."

"But what about that morning I couldn't find a condom wrapper?" I blurt out.

He looks at me like I'm crazy, "I do clean up after myself Prim."

I blush. I'd never thought to look in the trash. "Okay so now I'm pregnant, how is this going to protect me?"

"Do you really think the Capitol would endanger the life of Capitol children?"

"I'm not Capitol." I say dumbly.

"But you're pregnant with a Capitol man's child. They'll let you out of the Games as soon as they know."

"So you really did do this to help me."

"Like I said, I love you Prim."

"There's just one problem to this plan."

He looks at me a bit confused, "What's that?"

"I can't tell them."

"And why not?"

"Because I can't bare to hurt Nick."

There, you finally got the chapter with Josh. Not as bad of a guy as you people thought huh. I want some reviews.