We're led to an old windmill settled on the top hill of the city. I suck in a deep breath, hold it, and slowly release it. I snap my fingers and the man comes running to me.
"Yes?". I dismount my horse and he goes to take her reins, but I yank them back and he backs away. I begin tying my horse to a nearby tree while my team dismounts. Meanwhile, I tell the man what I want him to do.
"You have a bar?". Before he can speak I continue talking.
"Of course you do.". He looks a little angered that I've cut him off. I ignore it and keep talking to him.
"I'll give you a gold.". His eyes light up.
"I want you to go buy up all of the alcohol the bar has and bring it here. You can keep whatever's left over.". He begins nodding and holding his hand out. I take a golden coin out of my money pouch and show it to him.
"If one gold isn't enough for everything, then come back and get another one. Just make sure that you've bought up all of the alcohol.". I toss the gold in the air. The man snatches it and runs away as quickly as possible. I turn to the rest of the team and hold out my arms.
"So, who wants to get drunk before fighting monsters?". Duncan barks and I know he can't understand me, but I take his bark as a 'I wanna get drunk before fighting monsters!'. Leliana, thankfully, is more clear with what she wants.
"That sounds like a wonderful idea.". Morrigan, however, is less enthusiastic.
"Unlike you three, I have to be careful when I'm fighting. I can't just howl to stun my enemies, fire an arrow in their general direction, or swing a sword. If I do anything wrong, then I could end up burning my entire team to a crisp.". Morrigan crosses her arms and pretends to look away in a huff. I chuckle a little under my breath before fixing the situation.
"I'll find you every high-class drink in the pile and give it to you.". Morrigan pretends to think about it for a minute before nodding.
"Acceptable.". Our newest friend returns with bottles of ale, beer, whiskey, and wine in his arms. When he sits them down he begins walking away, but screams to us over his shoulder.
"There's more! I just couldn't carry it all!". I 'whoop' to him as he disappears down the hill. Finally, everyone turns their attention to the alcohol. Morrigan takes a few bottles of wine before motioning to the stockpile.
"You vultures can scavenge on the corpse. I've got what I wanted.". Duncan snatches up a beer and begins prancing around with it. Leliana takes some of the higher-grade beer and the rest of the wine. I'm stuck with the cheapest beers possible, all of the ale, and all of the whiskey. I look at my pile and make a passing comment to nobody in particular.
"I'm getting stuck with all the strong, nasty drinks nobody else wants.". Leliana laughs and Morrigan clutches her wine a little tighter before nodding.
"That's what you get for coming up with suck a terrible idea. And, for being a warrior.". Our banter is cut short by our newest drink-fetcher returning. More ale, beer, and whiskey. Now, he's also brought a little brandy. Morrigan and Duncan seem pleased with their selection. Still, I push a few bottles of beer to the side to give Duncan in order to actually get him drunk. Leliana takes the higher-class ales and beers. I'm left with cheap beer and ale, all the whiskey, and all the brandy. I'm actually starting to regret this. I'm going to be shit-faced before anyone else. The man returns with the final selection before bowing and running away.
Some wine, beer, ale, and vodka. Morrigan takes some more wine, there's such a small amount of beer everyone agrees to add it to Duncan's pile, and Leliana takes the higher-class ales. I'm stuck with vodka and cheap ale. Everyone sits down in a circle with their piles. Duncan has a stock of beer both cheap and expensive; Morrigan has the finest wines; Leliana has some of the finest wines, beers, and ales; and I have the cheap beers, cheap ales, whiskey, brandy, and vodka. I clap my hands and make a small speak.
"Alright, let's do it together. Everyone drink a bottle at the same time, and I'll make sure Duncan keeps up with us.". Morrigan opens a bottle of wine, Leliana opens a bottle of beer, and I open a bottle of brandy. Then, I open one of Duncan's bottle of beer. My dog perks up and instantly knocks his glass over. Thankfully, he laps up the contents and that starts our drinking. Morrigan is easily able to down hers since I'd imagine the taste is bearable, Leliana takes a little longer and finishes second since I don't think she's big on drinking, and I'm the last to finish my drink because I have the drink that's the strongest and taste the worst.
Still, I pick up another bottle of brandy. I'm either going big or going home, and Denerim's too damn far away to walk to. Leliana manages to tie with Duncan, Morrigan is second, and I finish a few seconds after Morrigan. None of us are feeling the drinks right now, but that's because we haven't given it enough time and/or drank enough. Duncan is the first to finish, I finish second, and Morrigan and Leliana tie for last. Our places and choices of drinks keep changing as we just continue trying to keep up with one another. However, Morrigan is the first to finish her pile since she got the least amount. The witch proudly smashes her empty last bottle of wine on the ground in front of her. Duncan finishes off his beers a few seconds later, but begins chewing on the empty bottles. I quickly take the glass away from him.
Now Leliana and I are the only ones still drinking. My lover is currently finishing off her selection of wine and moves onto her beers. I start polishing off my brandy and vodka. I do so by combining the two. The taste makes me shudder and it's strong enough to make me gag, but I've had worse in my mouth after a few nights ago. Leliana still manages to finish off her drinks and move onto the last of her ales. I add the whiskey to the mix. Shockingly, it tastes even worse and I almost vomit after every sip. Leliana briefly stops to chuckle at the sight of me. I'm picking up the whiskey and taking a sip, picking up the vodka and taking a sip, and picking up the brandy and taking a sip. Leliana starts lightly sipping her ales. I manage to remove the whiskey and brandy from the mix by finishing them off first.
I pull some cheap-as-fuck beer to me and start repeating the process. A sip of beer, then a sip of vodka. When the vodka runs out I replace it with cheap ale. Leliana finishes off her own drinks and begins cleaning up. Mostly, she just gets all the empty bottles together and starts making a cube out of them. I watch with fascination as I start slowing down. My stomach is straining with all of the alcohol shoved inside it. All of my friends had breakfast, but the soup tasted too bad for my taste and I didn't eat anything.
I have the bottle of the cheapest ale imaginable to my lips, but I don't take another sip. Honestly, I'm considering calling it quits. I haven't had anything to eat today, my stomach hurts, and I got the most alcohol out of everyone. It's understandable that I wouldn't be able to drink it all. Besides, only the cheap stuff is left and the cheap stuff taste the worst. It's totally realistic that I just wouldn't like the taste of it. Leliana stops making her cube, heaves herself up, walks a few feet over to me, and collapses beside me.
"What's wrong?". I mumble around my bottle. Leliana throws her head back and laughs at my expense. Morrigan and Duncan are quick to follow. My dog is panting his laughter, but it still counts. Leliana, finally, stops laughing and looks at me. Then, she raises her hands up. One grips the back of my head in a tight grip I've only ever felt when she's fucking me, and the other one goes to the end of my bottle. The glass is pressed tightly against my lips to where I can't get my face off of the bottle. Finally, Leliana pulls my head back and begins tipping the bottle upwards. I close my eyes, start coughing, and try to pull away. Leliana places her lips right beside my pointed ears and begins whispering to me.
"Shh. Calm down. It's fine.". I don't calm down, but I do manage to hack some of the liquid into my stomach instead of my lungs.
Leliana doesn't move the bottle or let me get a puff of air until I've swallowed all of the liquid. Leliana tosses the bottle to the side and picks up another bottle of either beer or ale. I honestly can't tell the difference at this point. Leliana presses the bottle to my lips. I begin flailing my arms and trying to pull back. I manage to mumble through the bottle.
"Leliana! I don't-". I can't say anything else as Leliana presses the can harder and my lips are forcibly sealed around the bottle. The process repeats itself a few times before Leliana grabs the last bottle, holds it up, and makes a sort of celebratory noise. Morrigan begins clapping and Duncan barks at me. The final bottle is pressed against my lips and I no longer bother fighting. I just sit there and let Leliana do what she will with me. My stomach is straining, I'm sweating, and I'm not having any fun anymore. It was definitely a mistake telling that boy to bring us every alcoholic drink.
Leliana finally pulls back the last empty bottle and smashes it against the ground. Morrigan adds to the mess by smashing the cube of glasses with her staff. Duncan hikes up his leg and takes a piss on the tremendous pile of broken glass. I sigh as Leliana stands, grabs me, and yanks me up to stand beside her. Morrigan and Duncan both push themselves up and join us. I'm the first to speak.
"Alright team, let's go get 'em!". Everyone lets out a tiny cheer as we leave the area we've destroyed and enter the windmill. I fall down the ladder to some dungeons and nearly break my leg. Leliana falls on top of me, Morrigan falls on top of Leliana, and Duncan falls on top of Morrigan.
"Off!". I'm not sure which one of us says it, but everyone breaks apart. I manage to stand up, draw my sword, and begin charging. A few dead bodies and an open cell greet us. I make small chatter as I walk deeper into the castle.
"Maybe Alistair freed himself? I don't know who else would kill anyone.". We walk up the stairs up into an area with another ladder. I barely manage to climb it up into the courtyard. Leliana, Morrigan, and Duncan are right behind me. The courtyard is crawling with living corpses and the occasional demon. I sigh and begin stumbling towards our enemies.
"Of course Alistair didn't free himself. That's too much to ask of him.". Leliana, Morrigan, and Duncan all let out a howl as the fighting begins.