A/N: Hey, I'm really sorry for this taking such a long time - I was ill (I know, a lot of things go wrong with me) and for some reason this chapter was inexplicably hard to write.
Again, some self-promotion: I have a Twitter, CannotControlMe, and I'll be postin quite a lot of random thoughts and more importantly... VICTORIOUS PROMPT WEEK! Starts November 21st, ends the 27th. Make sure tk go check us out on Tumblr with sevendaysofvictoriousprompts for the prompts - I can't wait! It's going to be so much fun if we can get people on board and writing like freaking crazy! Spread the word to other writers, please, please, please. This means a lot to me and x-clownsdontbounce-x (WHO JUST POSTED ANOTHER FIC GO CHECK IT OUTTTTTTT XD), so help us out!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything recognisable.
LIZ'S POV
I swear, makeup is a godsend.
If you looked at me now you would have no clue that I was drunk out of my mind six hours ago. I thanked them profusely, ruffled my tidied curls and stepped out of my dressing room, turning left to head to set (and trying to remember if I had forgotten anything in my trailer). I was just minding my own business when I feel a body knock into me and I go flying onto the floor. I look up, trying to decide whether I need to kill the idiot (because he probably crumpled my top, and let me tell you, it is a mighty fine top), or just leave, and find, to my distaste, Avan.
Really? Come on, God. Look me in the eye and tell me you're not fucking with me.
Avan cursed not-so-quietly as he realised he'd sent someone flying, then realised it was me and concern washed over his facial features.
What? If I'd sent him flying, I'd probably laugh and walk away.
Then again, the boy had muscles. I'd give him that. His abs are like solid chunks of gorgeou-
Let's not talk about his abs and their Godly qualities.
He reached down and offered his hand, but I ignored it and stood up in what I hoped was a dainty and graceful manner.
In reality, I probably looked like I did trying to dance last night.
"Shit, I'm really sorry."
"Whatever." I brushed him off, and walked away. Or tried to, with what felt like a broken hipbone.
He caught up pretty quickly, and grabbed my forearm to stop me walking, then dropped it awkwardly.
"What, Avan? Here to accuse me of anything else? Maybe it was my fault I went flying onto the floor back there, huh?" I snarled, just wanting out of this whole situation. Making him hate me would confuse me less than whatever this was right now.
"You're limping. I wanted to know if you were alright." No, no, no, nonononononono. Don't start acting like you care. My heads already janked up enough from last night.
"I'm fine. We're going to be late." I turned in my heel but he caught my arm yet again and this time didn't drop it. It felt like it was on fire, and I had the urge to yank it out of his grasp, but I didn't, seeing as I was trying not to look like a petulant child here.
"No, Liz, I'm serious here. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
There was an awkward pause, but he still didn't let go of my arm - well, more my wrist now. Any further down and he'd be holding my hand.
"I'm sorry for accusing you earlier."
"Oh." Was all I could manage to say. Hey ho, I'd sounded like an idiot many times in front of him and never cared, why start now?
"It just really looked that way and- well, I guess..." He tried. He lifted the hand that wasn't attached to my wrist and ran it through his hair, his brow furrowing kind of adorably. I realised how close we were - a step from either of us and we'd be chest to chest. Did someone move forward? He blew out an exasperated breath.
"If I told you I missed you, what would you say?" Avan suddenly blurted out, catching me completely by surprise.
Umm. I didn't see this coming. I was prepared for an argument, I knew what I would say when he would be rude, I knew exactly when I was going to storm off.
I did not expect this.
Follow my damn mental script, Avan!
"But you hate me!" Was the thing I chose to say. Well played, Gillies.
Not.
He closed his eyes and shook his head, his hand sliding down to lace his fingers with mine.
"I could never hate you. This is the problem, you're always thinking of the worst. You think I hate you, when actually, I love you more than anything."
HahahahaWHAT?
WHERE WAS THIS COMING FROM?
I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to just... Get back together like this and then break up again because I'd seriously watched too many movies in the past - what, two days? - but...
I might be sort of a little bit be in love with him too.
Why was this so hard?
AVAN'S POV
Okay, code red.
Code red times a million.
What was I doing? What- just- I-
I was all ready to kind of hate her, I guess. I'd given myself a pep talk all through hair and makeup on how she was just using me and then I walk out the door and into her and all of a fucking sudden I'm holding her hand and she hasn't pulled away yet and then I'm fucking telling her I love her? What? What what what what what?
And she hasn't replied.
I couldn't believe myself. It hadn't even been that long. We broke up two nights ago. This was pathetic.
And she still hasn't said anything. God freaking dammit.
"Avan? We need to do a few costume changes before you start. Something about too many reds..." My door opened down the corridor behind us and someone's voice drifted out. Before I knew it, Liz had disappeared, my hand burning where it had held hers.
As I waited for costume to throw clothes at me, I mentally slapped myself in the face really hard a couple of hundred times.
That was not how anything was meant to go.
I didn't think I wanted her back.
Well, I did, kind of, but...
It's complicated, okay?
I wasn't meant to want her back, but if I did, it was meant to be cool.
"Hey, Liz, you're a slut, I miss you and love you. Take me back?" Obviously didn't work on girls like Liz.
And by 'girls like Liz', I meant girls who were the most frustratingly frustrating things on the planet yet still managed to get you to fall in love with them and never fall back out. And they did so without coming even close to straining themselves. They just worked their beautiful, entrancing magic.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by costume team walking back into my room and passing me a new set of clothes with specific instructions not to 'mess up my hair beyond repair'.
I groaned. This was a fucking terrible start to the morning.
The rest of the week was just awkward.
Plain, fucking awkward.
Liz and I avoided each other at all costs. We literally did not speak at all.
Congratulations, Avan. You've really fucked this one up.
I shouldn't be this down about it. I was over it, then I saw her, then I told her I loved her, then I wasn't over it. How does that happen? How does one person go from being over it to not over it so quickly?
I don't know, but I certainly win the prize for being the one who does go from over it to not over it and also fucking up the situation.
If there even is a prize for that. Probably called the dickhead cup or something like that. I don't know.
Prize or no prize, I messed up. And I had no clue how to fix it.
How do you fix breaking up with someone, insulting them, and then telling them you love them? Jesus, I must have looked crazy.
I couldn't stand this air of awkwardness hanging around us either. We couldn't - wouldn't - speak to each other, she avoided any eye contact that I tried to make and we made everybody else awkward if we were in a group. They didn't even know what the fuck was going on.
We had a random cast lunch yesterday, and Liz and I would usually enjoy that because we'd always loved holding hands under the table and tickling each other and seeing who could hold a straight face for the longest (before one of us burst out laughing and we had to blame it on 'a joke we heard about soy sauce' earlier), but this time it was terrible. We somehow wound up sitting across from each other and Liz didn't look up from her food (a salad with the dressing on the side) the entire time and in the end had to excuse herself and say something about being tired and learning lines.
I went home that night exhausted and trying to think of ways to fix this, but I was out. I didn't want to give up on Liz, I just... I felt like I had to. Like I should. Like it would be the right thing to do. I'm just not sure anymore.
A/N: So yeah. Guys, please forgive me for not mentioning everybody today, I'm just really tired and I really wanted to get this chapter up. I'm so sorry, maybe I'll come back later and edit it. Sorry. I love you all though, reviewers, favouriters, followers, viewers in general. Love you all. Your reviews make me smile so much. Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart.
Review, blah, if you want. Bye, awesome people.