~ 36~

I was worried about Edward. He was fairly calm through dinner, but once we walked outside, he became agitated.

"Want to work on our lists?"

"I'm done with the stupid list, Bella. Not gonna help."

"How about another toothpick?"

He looked sideways at me and gave me a nice-try shake of his head. We'd reached my dorm again, and poor Edward was twitchier than I'd ever seen him.

"Maybe I'll go for a run."

"Now? It's dark out and we just ate." He'd eaten three burritos. I didn't want to make him feel self-conscious, but I also didn't want him to barf up his dinner.

"My head is pounding, and I want to jump out of my skin."

"I want to help you. What can I do?"

"Bella . . ." He looked utterly desolate, shifting his eyes from me to the night sky and back again. "I'm not gonna be good for you right now."

"That's bull. I'm fine. Come inside and let me distract you."

He took his time mulling over my offer, clenching all the while. "I can't promise anything, Bella."

I leaned forward and kissed him. "Just promise you'll let me take care of you."

Blowing out a heavy breath, Edward nodded and followed me inside.

We dropped our bags and coats by the door, and I dragged him over to the bed. "Have a seat." I popped in "Sugar Magnolia," and he continued to fidget while I scooted behind him and ran my hands up and down his back. "Try taking a couple deep breaths," I told him, cringing when I remembered how he pulled away from my touch this morning.

I could feel his shaky breath traveling beneath my fingers through the taut muscles of his neck. "Let it go, Edward." He rolled his shoulders in small circles as I massaged him through his shirt.

Just when he began to relax, Edward reached back and covered one of my hands with his. "Sorry. I'm just in a really bad place right now." With a close-up view of his profile, I could read his regret and disappointment.

"You're doing great, Edward. One more really rough day and then the physical craving will be behind you."

His hand fell away. "I'm not sure I can make it through another twenty-four hours like this."

"You can," I assured him, gripping his shoulders and teasing out the tension. And you can get him through this, I coaxed myself. "I'm right here . . ." I pressed soft kisses into his neck while I kneaded his muscles.

"That feels good," he mumbled.

"Good." Was it weird that I shivered with his compliment? I splayed my hands and traveled up both sides of his neck until he flopped forward like a rag doll. This was so much better than the restless, stressed-out mess he'd been most of the day.

I slipped both hands inside his shirt and ran my palms up Edward's back. Rocking and swaying, Edward completely lost himself as I rubbed away every knot I could find. Goose bumps sprang up as my fingertips crept out to his sides and around to the ridges on his stomach.

"Mmm," he moaned as I moved up his chest, pulling him against me and shuffling backward so he was stretched out with his head in my lap. Edward's eyes were closed—not the pinched, pained way I'd often seen, but in pure relaxation. As I massaged circles into his temples, he hummed softly.

Edward lifted his hand to my knee, revealing a sliver of his belly as his shirt slid up. "Feels amazing," he mumbled.

"How's the headache?" I whispered.

"Better, thanks." He opened his clear, expressive eyes and smiled at me. "You're good at this."

"Beginner's luck," I answered, elated by his compliment.

He smiled wider. "You should probably stop before I develop an unhealthy addiction."

I laughed. "I think that would make us even. I've been addicted to you since the moment I saw you."

He watched me for a few seconds more before shifting in my lap so he could reach my waist. "Get down here with me."

My whole body thrilled at his command. I lifted his head out of my lap and stretched out alongside him on the bed. Edward reached for the back of my neck and pulled me in, and I opened for the warm, urgent press of his lips and tongue. Dizzy with desire, I swooned when his other hand found my belt loops and tugged me up against his body, our legs tangling in a frenzy while our ankles knotted us together. My newly-freed hands teased the tight points of his nipples between my fingers, and I felt the not-so-subtle thrust of his hips looking for friction. Mine answered with a flex and a roll. Yes, yes, yes.

"Oh god, Bella . . ." he mumbled as he broke our kiss. "We better stop."

"Why? We aren't breaking any rules."

He chuckled lightly and pressed soft kisses into my neck. "Because I haven't come in my pants since that first time with you, and I would really rather not do that again."

"So take them off."

He pulled away so he could read my expression. "You want me to take my pants off?"

"Actually, I'd rather do it for you," I answered, reaching for his jeans before he could object.

I felt him tense up as I unbuttoned his jeans. "Bella, we shouldn't rush things."

As I worked open the zipper, the thick outline of Edward's erection revealed itself. That's for me. My eyes landed on a wet spot on his underwear, and my throat closed up with the unpleasant recollection of gagging on Alec.

This was Edward, I reminded myself—Edward, who cares about me; Edward, who came here to save me; Edward, my sexy, tempting mechanic, who had become so much more.

"Bella . . ."

I pushed his jeans out of the way and shimmied back up to kiss him. Edward welcomed my tongue and let me distract away his objections. "Let me make you feel good."

He hissed as my hand closed over his swollen bump. "I'm not strong enough to stop you right now."

I had my opening. "Good, because I really want this."

Edward stroked my cheek with his thumb, gratitude pouring from his eyes.

He lay stock still while I kissed my way down his belly, hooked my thumbs into his elastic waistband, and peeled away his underwear. Surprisingly, none of my earlier dread remained, even as I took in his size. I brushed my palm along his length, delighting in the way he leapt up into my hand. "Oh shit," he moaned, folding crossed arms over his eyes. I lowered my mouth to his tip, taking my first taste of Edward.

"Ungh," he groaned softly, coloring the flavor on my tongue with his pleasure. I needed more of his moans, more of his elation, more of his desire. I teased him, lapping around the ridge, mixing my own taste with his. He could no longer lie still, and it excited me to see him squirm. Like the massage, I was certainly no expert at this, but I let Edward's responses be my guide. He was the most appreciative audience—every touch, every lick or nibble brought some kind of hiss or moan, and he was now pumping his hips in a noticeable rhythm. I loved the passion I was able to evoke.

His thrusting became more urgent, and I quickened my strokes to match his pace. His arousal was contagious. Greedy for contact, I drew one of his legs between mine.

"Bella, so good . . . Watch out, I'm close—"

I ran one hand up his taut belly and tightened my lips around him, reassuring him I wanted this. Edward stilled and sucked in a deep breath, which he released with a low rumble as he came in my mouth.

I was ready for the hot stream this time. There wasn't anyone forcing me to swallow, but I chose to anyway. I rested my cheek on Edward's chest and waited for his breath to slow. His fingers pulled gently through my hair as we both lay there satisfied and content.

"I was really not expecting that," he said softly, "any of it." He chuckled. "Can I return the favor?"

I felt the heat rush over my cheeks, and I was glad I could hide my face. "Not tonight, but thanks."

"Okay," he answered, twirling my hair lazily. "That was awesome, Bella. Thank you—for the massage . . . and all the rest." I loved the rare shy note in his voice.

"It was my pleasure."

His laughter shook his belly and made my face bounce along with it. "It was most definitely my pleasure, Bella, and I will not forget that I owe you one."

A/N: Well now! Her mindset was a definite shift from where she was with that other guy, huh? She didn't even vomit! :) A good man can do that for ya!

Ahhh. It's a good day. :)

XXX ~BOH