Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

A/N: Eh, this mini-arc ended up not working out as well as I intended, and that's really my own fault. I'm sorry. I'll keep working on doing better with what I write. It'll be a little while before the next long arc starts. Thanks for all the favs/reviews/story alerts and such.

Sosuke Aizen quietly tip-toed his way down the upstairs hallway of Urahara and Yoruichi's home. He knew that there was nobody else in the house, and Soifon was busy keeping Yoruichi preoccupied, but he couldn't be too careful when in enemy territory. As expected, the bedrooms of both the parents and their children were located upstairs, as was a bathroom and an extra closet for storage space. The floor was carpeted and the walls were painted a light shade of white. Aizen hadn't been in such a normal-looking house since he used to live with his parents.

'Hmm...that reminds me that the family reunion should be coming up sometime soon...' Aizen thought, tugging playfully on his hair curl, 'I kinda don't want to go, but maybe I'll feel less uncomfortable if I drag Gin and the others along. Argh, what am I doing? Enough of this inner musing, dammit! I gotta search for blackmail...!'

Entering the master bedroom, Aizen began to search all over. The first thing he noticed was a photo of Urahara and Yoruichi on their wedding day. For some indescribable reason, Aizen instantly despised Urahara the moment he saw what he looked like. It was a sort of unexplained hatred that nestled deep within his soul. He could probably blame Urahara for many of his troubles and in his view it wouldn't be a lie.

'That laid-back expression...the hair on his chin...that unkempt blonde hair...I want to kill him so badly!' he fumed.

Next, he checked their closet, in which he found a large collection of bondage gear, an open jar of peanut butter, a tribal mask, as well as a pair of blood-stained wedding dresses. He quickly closed the door without a word. There wasn't anything incriminating on the counter-tops or inside any of the magazines on the nightstand either. He then got down onto his hands and knees and peered underneath the bed. There were some shoes and a violet-colored lace bra. Aizen pulled the bra out from its hiding place and looked it over. Slowly, a grin began to spread out on Aizen's face. The initials 'S.K.' adorned the left strap, which obviously meant it belonged to someone else.

"Heh heh...what do we have here now?"

He never considered the possibility that there wasn't any blackmail in the first place, but he had actually found something that would work quite well for Soifon's evil scheme. If they couldn't blackmail Yoruichi into leaving Urahara, then they would have to make Yoruichi leave Urahara by her own volition...

Soifon was already wiping away her tears when she heard a knock on the bathroom door. It was Yoruichi, just like she had planned. She knew that Aizen was most likely searching around the house at the moment. It wouldn't be long before Urahara would arrive home, either.

"Soifon? Soifon? Are you alright in there?"

"I...yes, I-I'm fine, Yoruichi, thank you..." Soifon pretended she was sniffling as she spoke. She was very skilled at manipulating people into feeling bad for her; it was one of the main reasons she had become so rich in the first place. Normally, the young woman would never do something as humiliating as making herself cry these days. It proved how far Soifon was willing to personally degrade herself to get back her beloved Yoruichi. There was also the fact that she wanted to tear apart a family as well that should be taken into account.

"What's wrong, Soifon? I know you liked me alot back when we were dating, but it really seemed like you had moved on with that Aizen fellow...did I say something wrong?" Yoruichi said.

Soifon sniffled again. "I just wanted to see you again, Yoruichi...that's all I came here for..."

"I know, Soifon, I know." Yoruichi sighed.

"...Although, really, I want to be your lover again too..." Soifon murmured under her breath.

"I KNEW IT!" Utilizing the strength of her legs alone, Yoruichi kicked down the bathroom door and stormed right up to Soifon until their faces were barely a few inches apart. Soifon's cheeks became flushed when she realized she could practically smell her idol's hair and feel her breath brush against her skin. It sent a series of erotic chills crawling up and down her spine. Yoruichi, however, did not look happy in the slightest.

"Is...is something the matter?"

"Soifon, we've talked about this so many times in the past! I want you to accept that we can't be together again and go on living your life! You're not helping anyone, especially not yourself, by keeping up this charade! You kept pestering me and Kisuke multiple times after we got married because you were upset about it, and I had to get a restraining order on you! I only took it off recently because I still want to be friends with you, but our time as lovers is over! Why...why can't you understand? It's so simple!" Yoruichi shouted, her emotions a mixture of both frustration and sadness towards the woman she cared about like family.

"But I love you, Yoru-"

"You'll never end up happy if you keep holding out and expecting me to come back to you, Soifon!"

A short-lived quiet followed between the two women.

"Y-Yoruichi..." Soifon was at a loss; she had always kept some glimmer of hope that she could get Yoruichi back some day, but after hearing all of this, her heart ached for the love she once had. She wanted to cry for real this time.

"Soifon," Yoruichi sighed and pulled the shorter girl into a tight hug, "I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I will always remember our time together no matter what happens. However, that time is something that must be left in the past. I love Kisuke Urahara now, and I'm happy with him. I love you too, but now it's more as if you're a little sister than anything more or less...okay?"

Soifon nodded. She buried her face into Yoruichi's bosom, and wept in silence.

"Plus, I miss our little training sessions together...I want to see whether you've really become a great fighter like you said you wanted to be,"

Soifon continued to sob. She truly missed this loving warmth she felt when Yoruichi held her in her arms. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

"It's fine..."

This touching moment was abruptly cut short by the sudden intrusion of one Sosuke Aizen, who was childishly waving about a ridiculously large bra over his head. Soifon cursed under her breath, and Yoruichi slowly raised one of her fists.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I FOUND IT! I FOUND IT! UNDENIABLE PROOF THAT-" Aizen began to shout, but, as expected of karma, he was interrupted when Yoruichi smashed her fist into his face. It was quite painful.

"What the hell are you doing with that?" she demanded to know.

"I...I found something that proves that your husband is cheating on you!" Aizen coughed. He coughed again and a single tooth fell onto the floor. He tossed the bra over to Soifon, who saw the initials 'S.K' imprinted on the strap.

Soifon blinked. "S...K...?" she read it aloud.

"For one, I've already cleared up the issue between me and Soifon just before you came running in! And two, Kisuke isn't cheating on me, you dumbass! That's one of my friend Shiba Kuukaku's bras; my boobs are way too big for the bras they sell in the stores! I'm still waiting for the custom-made ones to arrive in the mail!" Yoruichi snapped at the mullet-haired idiot, grasping her cleavage and giving it a good jiggle to emphasis her point. Aizen couldn't believe his foolish mistake; the majority of the women in Karakura Town were unnaturally busty, after all.

Before anything else could be said, the front door unlocked and opened to reveal Kisuke Urahara, followed close behind by Jinta and Ururu. The two children carelessly tossed their backpacks aside and ran over to their mother. Soifon didn't feel so sad anymore, and she couldn't help but smile seeing how much they loved Yoruichi. The heaviness in her heart was finally gone after all these years.

Aizen and Urahara stared back at one another. 'This man...he feels like someone very important!'

A while later...

"So...we failed to get Yoruichi to come back to you, but you look alot happier than before." Aizen casually remarked as he and Soifon walked along the pathway to the limousine that was waiting for them.

"I am."

"Hmph, that's good. You would be a pretty big bitch if you actually broke apart a family to get what you wanted."

"I know."

"You're a lot more likable when you're happy, I think, Soifon,"

"Stop acting like you're some kind of good-natured, smooth guy or something; it's really creepy coming from you."

"C-Creepy...?"

"Also, if you think that talking that way will get me to lower the price on your purchases from me, you're dead wrong! In fact, I'm going to increase the price of your next shipment of drugs by ten-fold."

"WHAT?"

"...I'm just kidding."

"Oh."

"Didn't my facial expression give it away?"

"No. Not at all."

"...Bastard...after all of this, I'm going to need alot of beer and a sexy young woman with large breasts in a nurse's uniform to make me feel better..."

"Can I join?"

"NO!"

"Damn...lesbians always know how to have kinky, sexy fun..."

"That's just a stereotype! Although I'll admit that I personally think it's true."

"Ah-ha! See! I was right!"

"Ugh, whatever."

When Aizen returned to his apartment later that day, he was immediately assaulted by the sight of Matsumoto and Gin on top of one another in compromising positions. They had gone and bought condoms while he was gone.