"What do You want Kathryn?" B'Elanna snapped at she threw her coat into the near by chair and looked around the room that looked like it hadn't been tidied in weeks. She was frustrated and annoyed. She couldn't seem to find a way to help and even the half Klingon could see things needed help.
Kathryn barely budged from her position where she sat aimlessly staring out the window, with a slight shake of her head "It doesn't matter now" before giving a sigh trying to be noncommittal.
"No?" Demanded B'Elanna unsure what to do for the best "Then why have you not left the den in over a week?" She asked trying to sound calm and yet firm, she wanted answers and Chakotay seemed suddenly too busy to take her comm calls, always promising to com her back but never did.
Standing up Kathryn raised herself to her full height best she could and then told her friend "It more complicated than you think"
B'Elanna didn't even try to hide her confusion as she said "Yea I can see that." When Kathryn still didn't respond she just looked sadly at her friend B'Elanna softened a little and asked "What happened out there?" When Kathryn looked up at B'Elanna the younger woman saw she had tears in her eyes. Resting a hand on her friends shoulder she said "Secky said things were going ok" remembering back to the com conversation she had shared with Chakotay's sister the day before, the Native American woman seemed to be as much confused as B'Elanna was "not great but ok, at least he talked to you" B'Elanna said softly looking to her friend for any response she could find.
"They were" Kathryn nodded as tears began to roll down her face. "Things were going to really well, we agreed to give it a go again." She watery blue eyes met with B'Elanna's just as the half Klingon didn't even try to hide her shock.
As B'Elanna drew her eyebrows closer together thinking through what Kathryn had just told her she asked "Then why are you here not on Trebus?" She didn't understand, wasn't this what they both wanted? Didn't they both want to be together again?
Kathryn look that half Klingon and saw in her eyes what she was thinking. Shaking her head the older woman said sorrowfully "Lanna it's the same it always was, he and I are on different paths."
Flooding her arms and looking firm B'Elanna said "Not too different where I'm standing from" she growled. When Kathryn didn't seem to budge on her thinking she demanded "will you not at least talk to him" Kathryn shook her head which only served to infuriate B'Elanna further. "he comms you serveral times a day and he won't talk to the rest of us" the half Klingon snapped at her friend.
Kathryn rose he eyebrows and admitted "He's got a girlfriend, he doesn't need to com me" she was sad and weary and fed up, fed up with chasing loves long lost dream, chasing what could have been, chasing the past. "He's happy" Kathryn admitted as if that was all that mattered.
B'Elanna shook her head and look upon her friend with pity as she said softly "He says she and him are no more" B'Elanna didn't really know what response she expected from Kathryn for those words but when Kathryn didn't even move just continued to stare limply into space B'Elanna knew something was wrong.
Sitting down beside her old commanding officer B'Elanna took what was once her friends limp hand in hers as she did so Kathryn said softly "She was young and beautiful" tears building up in the now almost faded blue eyes.
"So?" Snapped B'Elanna with an defiance she wasn't going to drop, something Kathryn had come to admire in the head strong half Klingon.
"So" said Kathryn slowly with a slight pert hectic laugh and a shake of her head "I'm old and ugly"
B'Elanna looked at her friend with an annoyed expression coming across her brows, "So that's why you left?" She asked almost as she sat back in her chair and folded her arms staring at her friend for answers. "and your not old, and you certainly are not ugly" she added quickly as she cut across Kathryn who was about to say that she was. "anyway what dos it matter?" B'Elanna asked seriously, "you and him go back so many years" she tried to be reassuring as she rested her hand on Kathryn's shoulder but she wasn't too sure it was very reassuring. "who is this young Trebus girl anyway?" With a sigh she asked.
"Carissa" Kathryn smiled thinking of the beautiful young woman and home caring and loving she was of Chakotay "she was lovely" Kathryn added softly before her half Klingon friend cursed some Klingon insult about her,
B'Elanna shied saying "So that's why you walked away?" As she threw her hands up in the air in surrender to prove her point.
"No" Kathryn said softly some of that fierce love flowing back into her deep blue eyes.
"Then why did you leave him!" Growled a now annoyed and exasperated half Klingon.
"I never left him" snapped Kathryn her eyes fierce and full of fight and love and tears as she snapped her head to look at her friend and meet her eyes.
B'Elanna sook her head when she saw the myriad of emotions written across her friends face. "So he's on Trebus and your here because?" She snapped feeling annoyed now that Kathryn wasn't giving her anything.
"The sickness began" Kathryn said in an almost squeak as the tears filled her eyes.
"Oh" sighed B'Elanna suddenly feeling a lot softer with her friend "so soon?" She asked almost allowing her tears to fill her eyes.
Kathryn simply nodded before standing and saying almost as a closure to the now every emotional conversation "I should rest" B'Elanna nodded and stood. She rested her hand on her friends shoulder but there was nothing she could say so she began to walk towards the door.
Suddenly B'Elanna realised, if Kathryn was sick Chakotay would have stayed at her side, he always did, that was the moment B'Elanna realised spinning round as swift as she could she snapped "You did tell him?" Kathryn stopped dead in her tracks, her back to her friend. After what felt like an eternity B'Elanna gasped "you didn't tell him did you?"
"No" Kathryn admitted waving her friend away from her "and I do not want to talk about it."
B'Elanna shook her head and folded her arms feeling angry "What's he doing?" She demanded.
Kathryn looked confused and snapped "What do you mean?" She was getting exasperated now, the matter was closed and finished, it was time to move on.
B'Elanna rolled her eyes annoyed and snapped back "On Trebus what's he doing?"
Kathryn turned away and looked sad "Getting on with his life" as B'Elanna went to say something Kathryn cut across her snapping "and please don't mess that up for him." Before B'Elanna had even been able to open her mouth to say anything.
B'Elanna sighed and walked to wards her friend taking her hand she whispered "He deserves to know" she felt sorry for her friend who clearly very much believed she knew what she was doing was right and for the best for Chakotay.
Kathryn sighed saying "How on earth can I even begin to tell him." As she said this B'Elanna knew she was fighting back the tears in her darkened, distant blue eyes.
B'Elanna didn't really know how to answer her friend. She just looked at her and tears rolled down her cheeks.