After about half an hour of meditation, I get up and hike down to my car. I spend the rest of the day working. As I shut my laptop to call it a night, I notice that at some point, June must have brought in the mail that I hadn't been checking regularly. There's a small package addressed to me along with the pile of envelopes and magazines for Mom and Larry. I recognize the scrawl as my brother's. I smile as I grab it, using my fingernail to peel the tape from a corner. I open the box and several condoms fall out, along with a note.
Bro,
Knowing you, you're probably writing instead of getting out there and meeting new guys.
Hopefully this package inspires you to go out and get some action!
Don't be a loner—cover your boner!
Miss you,
your baby brother
Oh Gabe! He's pretty thoughtful and sweet in his own depraved way. I chuckle at the sentiment and throw the foil packets back into the box. Looks like I won't need to add protection to the list for the grocery store. As I'm heading upstairs, my phone rings. I pull it out of my pocket and grin when the display tells me it's Zach.
"Hey," I answer, plopping down on my bed.
"Hey. Just got off work. How 'bout you?"
"Oh the same. Heading to bed now. Wish you were here."
"Yeah, me too. Hey I have my schedule for the rest of the week." I wait for him to go on, hoping there's time for me and him to spend together as well as a point where I can go to LA while he's working so I'm not wasting an instance I could be spending with him. "I work tomorrow morning and am off in the early afternoon. I told Jeanne I was gonna meet up with some friends in San Diego and would probably end up spending the night. Then the day after I'm off all day but have Cody in the evening. I work a split shift the next day so I'll be busy in the morning and then again that evening, and the day after that I'm off again."
"Okay great," I confirm. "So you'll be here tomorrow and spend the night?"
"If you're down, then yeah. Otherwise, I can…"
"Yes!" I jump in before he can come up with another alternative. "I want you to spend the night!" I hear him sigh and wonder if he seriously doubted I'd want him here. "Any time you can spend the night, I want you to, okay?"
"Okay. I just don't want to like, assume, you know?"
"No worries. So you'll be here till you have to get Codes and are pretty busy the next day?" I verify, deciding I'll go to LA then.
"Yup, and I'm off the next day so if you're free, we can spend it together," he offers.
"I'll be free! Oh, hey I got some mail from Gabe," I divulge.
"Uh, if it's anything like what he sent me, I bet you're happy Cody wasn't around when you opened it." I can hear that he's smiling as he says this.
"You got condoms too?" I ask, shaking my head.
"Yeah. I'll be so glad when this damn year is over. His note encouraged me to forget about Tori and to 'cover my whistle before planting thistle,' whatever the hell that means. He's getting US state facts or pictures of cats or something equally boring as a calendar theme next year." I laugh and groan at the same time. "Cody thought it was candy and got really excited. I had to disappoint him and say it wasn't." My light-hearted laugh turns into a full-bellied chuckle at the thought of Zach trying to explain to his nephew that the bright packages didn't contain a sugary treat.
"That's my brother for you," I sigh as soon as my laughing fit concludes. "So thoughtful, sort of."
"I guess," Zach half-heartedly agrees. "Hey I just got home so I'm gonna let you go. Sleep well, Sweetheart."
"Okay, sleep well. See you tomorrow afternoon!"
I undress and crawl under the covers, running through the next couple steps in my plan. Though it's still pretty early, I'm exhausted and fall asleep within a few minutes.
When I wake up the next morning, I'm ready to get to work on the next part of my strategy, but it's a little early to make phone calls so I decide to work on my writing a bit before that. Without changing from my PJs, I run downstairs and turn on the laptop before grabbing a bowl of cereal. I toss the milk carton out because I've used it all. I'm going to have to go shopping no later than tomorrow at this point. I settle in front of the screen and open my email first. There are a few business-related ones that I quickly send replies to. I also have a couple personal ones.
The first is from Tony, telling me he'd made it back to Seattle. He mentions our night out and reiterates the sentiment about how happy I seem with Zach. I smile, glad that it's obvious to my friend how important he is to me. He then mentions the guy he went home with, who was apparently a dud in the sack. Tony's happy-go-lucky life-view shines through as he explains that because his trick was bad in bed, it prompted him to leave even earlier than he normally would have so he made great time getting back home. I hit "reply" and send off a quick note thanking him for meeting up and telling him I am glad he made it home safe.
The next email is from Larry. I open it, curious about what it's regarding. Basically he was just writing to explain what he told Mom about our phone call, in case she spoke with me before he had a chance. According to Larry, I needed some financial advice about a particular investment. I can imagine my mom's eyes glazing over at that point in his story and give him kudos for coming up with a reason she won't question or even be remotely interested in looking into. My reply to him is grateful and appreciative. As I sign the end, I am grateful that I talked with Larry. Even if my plan doesn't work out the way I'm desperately hoping it will, I'm glad to have begun repairing my relationship with my step-dad.
I finish the rest of the emails and open my book to get to work. A couple hours in, I look at the time and see it's a respectable time to call others, so I grab my phone to call my new future-landlord, Susan. She answers and greets me warmly when I tell her who it is. I ask her if the other three-bedroom apartment in the duplex has been rented out yet. She tells me it hasn't and asks if I've changed my mind. I agree that I have and she tells me it's mine. I tell her I'll be in town in a couple days and would be happy to sign the formal lease then. She accepts and we hang up. Yes. I check this step off the list in my head. I am getting closer to the part of my plan I dread the most.
Basically, my course of action is to move the family in with me in LA. The whole family, Jeanne included. That's going to be the worst part and the reason I needed a third bedroom. I know it will be next to impossible to convince her that I mean well and have nothing but the best intentions for her brother and son, and that's where I'm hoping the money will help. She might not like me, but she will sure appreciate the fact that I'll invite her to live rent-free in the city and won't push her to even get a job immediately. I'm hoping the promise of an easy life will at least pacify her enough that she doesn't take Cody away from his uncle. It's obviously a sacrifice on my part as there's no love lost between Zach's sister and myself, but it's worth it if it means I'll have them in my life for keeps.
The part I'm struggling with the most is how to approach the subject with Zach. "Hey I know I promised you time, but I love you and want to be with you forever. Please move in with me and bring your nephew and sister along," doesn't exactly roll off the tongue easily, nor does it make me seem like the most stable individual. I conclude that I can't think like that and go back to work.
I work for a few more hours before choosing to be done for the day. I get up and stretch, deciding to enjoy the pool for a while. I run upstairs and change into some trunks and grab a towel. Swimming expends a lot of the energy I hadn't been using sitting in front of the computer all day. I eventually give up the laps I'd been doing and float on my back. I mentally make a note to get information on the school district I'll live in, something I've never had to consider before. It's weird how much my life will change if this happens, and weirder still, how excited I am about it all.
I hear my phone ring and swim to the side of the pool to grab it.
"Hey Babe," I greet Zach, who must have just gotten off work.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Swimming. You should join me," I encourage.
"I'll be there in half an hour," he agrees.
"See you then," I conclude with a smile, coming to the realization that it's not weird at all how excited I would be about making a permanent life-change for this man. He's worth it.