The Final Ember

The Shores of Yesterday

Day 30

Roxas

"So… should we open it?"

The question had been perfunctory, and Roxas was unsurprised when Xion responded with little more than a disinterested grunt. She had turned her back to him and was peering down at the mosaic of Sora. Roxas followed her gaze and noticed with a jolt that both Riku and Kairi had vanished from the scene; arched windows of variegated glass now flanked the throne upon which Sora slumbered. Even as he looked on, the windows pulsed with a sudden light that bled over into the hearts that encircled the throne; five now burned with a silvery light, but the sixth remained vacant and dark. From behind him came the distinct click of a latch.

Roxas turned to find the door unchanged. There was another click, this one louder and more insistent. He turned back to ask Xion if she had heard the noise as well, but his gaze found only darkness. The question died on his lips. He was alone.

From behind him came a third click; in the sudden silence, it sound like nothing so much as a gunshot. The sound stabbed at his ears, harsh, angry. Panicking and not knowing what else to do, Roxas spun and wrenched the door open with all of his might.

The world disappeared in a blinding flash of light.

Startled and dazed, Roxas staggered backward with his hands over his face. He was dimly surprised to hear something small and fragile snap beneath his foot. As the light began to fade, an odd rushing sound came to his attention; he thought that it sounded like the wind, or perhaps the ocean.

Feeling that it was at last safe to do so, Roxas lowered his hands.

A vast beach stretched out before him beneath a brilliant sunset. Some ways ahead, a glittering ocean roared and frothed, casting impossibly tall waves to crash against the shore. Though it was quite a ways off, Roxas thought that he was just able to make out a solitary tower rising from the ocean. It was leaning heavily and the structure that sat atop it seemed similarly lopsided.

It was only upon shifting his weight and feeling another crunch underfoot that Roxas directed his gaze downward. It took several moments for him to be sure of what he was seeing; part of him, he supposed, was frightened. Another part, a part that he desperately wanted to rationalize and dismiss, was heartbroken.

Even though it had been snapped cleanly in two, there was no mistaking the sea-salt ice cream stick for anything but what it was. A few shimmering globules still clung to faded lettering that had once read 'Winner.'

Roxas forced himself to look elsewhere. Something sharp and painful had begun to coil itself about his heart; it was a constrictive, confusing sensation that left him with a heavy sense of dread that he wasn't quite able to clearly define. His gaze snagged on a solitary figure sitting on the seashore; if asked, he would have sworn with absolute confidence that such a thing had not been there only moments before, but there was no mistaking it; a small, slender shape was seated just above the water line. It appeared to be wearing voluminous robes with the hood thrown back. Silhouetted as the figure was against the sunset, Roxas was unable to say what color the robes actually were.

Though he was afraid that he knew.

Woodenly, Roxas started toward the shoreline. He noticed a second discarded ice cream stick as he was walking, and then a third, and then the sand was littered with splinters and sea-blue droplets half-melted by the sun. 'Winner' flashed up at him from all directions. The sticks quickly gave way to Thalassa shells that crunched and shattered underfoot as Roxas drew up beside the figure. He stood silently for a time, looking out at the sea. Now that he was closer, he was able to clearly discern the tower he had spotted earlier.

It was, he knew, the clock tower from Twilight Town, or a poor imitation of the same. Half of its crown had crumbled and fallen into the sea, leaving it with the misshapen silhouette he had seen upon his arrival. Saying nothing, Roxas lowered himself to the ground beside the figure. His gaze remained fixated on the tower as he silently accepted a fresh bar of sea-salt ice cream. He peeled away the wrapper and took a tentative lick, unsure of how he was supposed to act.

"… It's good," he said after a time.

"I know," replied Xion sadly. "It always was."

Roxas nodded awkwardly.

"… So," he ventured when he was able to stand the silence no longer, "what is… what is all this? I don't understand what's…"

He trailed off uncertainly. He could feel Xion's gaze on the side of his face; the sensation was oddly incisive. It left him feeling exposed and vulnerable.

It was a feeling that he had never before associated with Xion.

"Well…" began Xion upon realizing that he had nothing further to add, "this isn't really something that I can explain quickly or easily. I think I know what you're most worried about, though. Roxas, look at me."

Surprised at how soft and tender her voice had become, Roxas steeled himself and finally, awkwardly, hesitantly, turned to face Xion.

He was unable to say what he had expected, but the eyes that found his own were the exact shade of blue that he remembered; her skin was as pale, her hair as black, and the way she smiled at him – a smile of sharing and confidence – was unmistakably the Xion he remembered.

In whose company had he spent the past several weeks? Who had fearfully, hesitantly tried to mend their severed friendship? Who had gotten sick at the inn and… and who had tended to him when he was injured? Who…

"I am me," said Xion simply, gently, as though she had heard his thoughts. "The person who's been at your side since you woke up… has also been me, in a sense. Calling her a projection would be a bit... well, that would be doing Sora's heart a disservice, I think. He's... really strong, you know? Sora, I mean. Strong and... and kind. So kind. Even after all I've done to him, he gave me the means to experience life outside of this... this cage. After all, who would be better able to direct a puppet than someone who's little more than a puppet herself? Because..."

Seeming to think better of what she was about to say, Xion exhaled and turned back to the ocean. Roxas watched her for a time, his thoughts scattered and hazy. He was trying desperately to make sense of his current situation, but the pieces refused to fit together in a way that he was able to recognize and understand. Frustration gnawed at him.

"That's because," breathed Xion, seeming to have decided to continue, "… I wanted to be with you. I wanted to have a friend who I could trust and rely upon. I wanted someone who I could confide in, and who could confide in me. That goes for Axel too. I wanted to have more fun with the two of you. I wanted a friendship that was real, and warm. I wanted memories. I wanted life. I wanted… so much. I wanted to earnestly, sincerely apologize for what I've done to you. I wanted to face you, even if it was just one more time, so that I could clearly tell you how much I cared for you. I wanted to thank you. I wanted to…

"But Roxas… I couldn't. I wanted what I couldn't have. It made me angry. It saddened me. It frustrated me. It tore at my thoughts, and before I knew it, it was tearing at my heart… and then it began to tear at Sora's heart. It was too much, and Sora's heart was shattered."

Xion turned away from the ocean. She looked down at her legs and picked at her robes uncertainly.

"And that's because…" she said for a third time upon taking a deep, fortifying breath, "Sora's heart was comprised of many things… but envy was not one of them. Sora was often jealous, yes, but envy is… it's different. It's colder; meaner; lonelier. Such a thing had no place in a heart so full of light and warmth.

"Perhaps this is my punishment. I know I've earned it. To spend an eternity trapped inside a world of my own making, an alcove carved out within Sora's heart, a world built out of tarnished memories and unfulfilled dreams… this is what envy is worth in the end, Roxas. Envy granted me the ability to set you free, but the price was Sora's heart."

Roxas thought that he might be sick. He had known for quite some time that Xion was the root cause of Sora's crisis; she had admitted as much herself on more than one occasion. But this… Roxas found himself second-guessing the time he had spent with Xion; had her behavior not been slightly peculiar? Had she not been overly earnest about seemingly inconsequential matters? Had she not worried too much, scolded too much?

Had Xion ever been unapologetically selfish?

He recalled with horror that fate that had befallen Hollow Bastion.

"Xion," he said hurriedly, stumbling over the words, "is it- so you mean you're responsible for what happened to Hollow Bastion?"

Xion blinked and looked up at him in mild confusion. "Hollow Bastion? Why would you think that? My puppet was with you when that happened, remember?"

"… Oh."

Xion looked at him with reproachful eyes. "That aside, do you… really think I would do something like that, Roxas?"

"W-well," replied Roxas haltingly, "not really, but… but we thought it had to be an ember that we hadn't dealt with at that point, so-"

"Which would leave the final ember, whoever or whatever he is," finished Xion. "But, since you're here… I'd say that means he's already at the tower. You were tossed back into Sora's heart because all of the remaining Embers were gathered in one place, after all. You're not a fragment, so you don't belong here… which means that he probably forced you to take his place."

"But you're not a fragment either," protested Roxas. The feeling of dread coiled about his heart drew tighter. "I mean… you're Xion, right? Not Sora, so…" Xion was looking at him with sad eyes. "When this is over and this other Ember has been dealt with, you'll be free, right?"

Xion smiled sadly, but offered no reply.

Panic gripped him. "But there has to be-"

"Roxas…" said Xion quietly, soothingly, "it's alright. I've earned this."

"It's not fair."

"It is."

"Not to me."

Momentarily taken aback, Xion smiled and mussed Roxas' hair as he had mussed her own so, so many times. He was struggling mightily to keep his panic from spilling over into tears. "Xion-"

"Well, then I guess we'll have to figure out a way to fix this, won't we?" said Xion brightly. Roxas blinked. Xion smiled.

"But you just said-"

"I know. But we don't know how things are going to play out from here 'til the end, right? Sora should wake soon, and who knows what'll happen to this place when he does?

For now… well, let's just say that this position is probably preferable to the one that stray Ember's about to find himself in. I'm not sure how much Sora will know or remember when he wakes, but if he realizes what's happened… couldn't ask for anything more than front row seats, right? And if he chooses not to act, well... I have a few tricks of my own that I've been dying to try out. Despite all that I've said, Envy... Envy does have its perks. Just don't think poorly of me after you've seen it."

* Rvs: 2.1