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Author's note for Friday March 9, 2018:

I'm getting a lot of "Did Jacob rape Bella?!" questions regarding the last half of "Tuesday, at 10"; Well, if we define sexual consent as: Freely given, Revocable, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific (FRIES), I would say there was a definite lack of it, and that both parties recognized this. Jacob stopped when he realized, knew he'd done something she didn't want to, and thought he should apologize, but was too out of control to be safe near her; she was clearly shocked by what happened. I'll let you draw your own conclusions about suitable labels. Edward certainly did. Immediately. But, he's Edward.

"Excited?" Charlie asked, "or nervous?"

"Both," Bella grinned, taking a bite of her toast.

"Doesn't seem so long ago you were just starting high school here," Charlie muttered. "Makin' me feel old."

Bella stopped chewing.

"Not you," he said, seeing her look, jiggling Sarah on one knee, "me."

"Well, you are a grandpa," she said, putting the grin back on. It didn't quite make her eyes crinkle.

"A very young one," he said, as if to himself, looking at Sarah.

"Alright, I'm off. Can't want to hear all about mommy's first day of school!" he said, to Sarah.

Bella snorted. "That'll be quite the conversation you two'll have," she said.

When they reached the small lecture hall, Bella let out a big breath, "OK, you've got everything you need?" she asked Edward, again.

"Yes," he smiled. "I'll see you at the break, OK?" He was looking forward to time with just Sarah. He'd be near, and so would Jasper and Alice, but as far as Sarah was concerned, it was just him. Her preferences had grown more distinct of late, and he saw this as a perfect time to ingratiate himself with her. He'd brought along a whole assortment of her favourite shiny objects. He had her turned away, mesmerized by the flickering lights on the glass doors, so Bella could walk away unnoticed. He let his mind sift through the thoughts of the students in the lecture hall, noticing those who noticed Bella.

He didn't like all the eyes that followed her, but contented himself with the fact that he could assure himself of her well being, even in the absence of his bodily proximity.

The more attentive minds flicked themselves towards the centre of the room, attending to the instructor, a woman of small stature, but with an impressive voice, and an even more impressive mind. The less academically inclined were paying vague attention to the presentation, taking a much more detailed inventory of the bodies, and their various appeals, in the room. One of those minds was sitting adjacent to Bella.

A boy.

She glanced at him when he looked at her, giving a polite smile, but then bent her head back towards her notes.

She was focused, intently, Edward could see, pen noisy on the page. Her hand was still awkward, unpractised. She hadn't written much in the last few months, certainly not since her hand was broken. Maybe she would type better? He wondered if he could convince her to borrow a laptop. It would be easier for her.

The instructor was getting students to pair up.

Edward groaned. She was one of those ones. Eager to 'engage' the class. It'd been years since he'd found a lecture worth attending, that wasn't a rehashing of old ideas wrapped in new phrasing, but how he longed for a professorial address that was meant to be reached for, struggled with. This...Bella seemed above this.

He watched on, though, seeing her face in the minds of those around her. The boy persisted in his attention. Matt. He was failing to maintain eye contact, his visage slipping chestward at regular intervals.

Edward's dislike of him grew.

The boy was unattached, romantically anyway, and he was speculating as to Bella's status. No ring, he'd noted.

The lecture, if you could call it that, resumed.

Sarah gargled contentedly in his arms, and he narrated her thoughts quietly to her, making simple signs with his hands when he caught the things she wanted most. Bella had been skeptical of using it, but Edward's reasoning had undercut her uncertainty.

"She will start talking, likely much earlier than other babies, because I can hear her thoughts," Edward had said. "Sign language offers people something plausible."

She'd nodded silently, rifling through the many other difficulties their relationship might produce.

"Children are very accepting, but they're also very perceptive," Edward said, "fortunately, adults are much less so." He'd seen the flicker of worry on her face.

Now, as Sarah watched the refracting light of the small crystal in his hand, he wondered what she'd think of him in the sun.

He couldn't, he knew. Not if they wanted a normal life for her. But he wondered, still.

Edward could feel Sarah tending towards sleep, her little hands curled to her eyes, rubbing them over her small yawns, just as the students were getting up for their break. "Mama's coming," he whispered to her, smiling when he saw Bella's face in her thoughts.

Bella rushed out, slightly breathless, "Oh good," she said smiling, "I was worried she'd fall asleep. This is Matt, by the way," she added, "Matt, Edward."

Edward didn't extend his hand, but nodded, and smiled politely. No need to arouse suspicions with his cold touch.

"And this," Bella said, smiling with pride, "is Sarah, my daughter."

"Nice to meet you both," Matt said.

Sarah had realized who was there, though, and was making her demands known, arching her back and fussing. Sitting down on one of the benches by the window, Bella put her to the breast.

Matt did not avert his eyes.

Edward's features took on a stony hue.

"I'm getting a coffee," Matt said, and making his offer pointedly to Bella, "can I get you anything?"

"Oh thanks, I'm fine though," Bella said politely, still focused on Sarah, seemingly unaware of Matt's gaze, and Edward's own, possessive stare.

"OK, see ya in a bit," Matt said, turning, and walking away.

Edward watched him go through narrowed eyes.

"You know," Bella said, still not looking up. "I think the death stare might make it hard for me to make new friends."

Edward looked at her, frowning. "He'd be running," he muttered quietly, sitting down beside her, "not walking to get a coffee, if it was the death stare."

"I know you can hear everyone's thoughts," Bella said quietly, feeling him put his arm around her, "but for the rest of us, we rely on people's words and choices to define them."

"Thoughts become words. Words become actions, and actions define people. Trust me," Edward said softly, "he isn't worth your time."

Bella flushed angrily. "And you being a pushy control freak isn't worth my time either. Back off."

The break was up, and Bella was pulling Sarah away, rubbing her back, being rewarded with a loud, milky belch. "I have to go," she said, more softly, seeing her daughter asleep.

Edward nodded, his face carefully impassive. He was measuring the weight Bella's anger against his own experience. He knew better. Knew what creatures like Matt were. They weren't worthy of her time, let alone her friendship.

For the remainder of the lecture, Edward could see that Bella was distracted, her hand still struggling with the notes, but missing things she shouldn't be. The telltale burn in her cheeks came and went, and he knew he was the cause of it.

He was right. He knew he was right. And yet, it didn't matter. She needed to see it for herself.

He hadn't liked Jacob Black, either, but that boy had helped her. Hurt her, in the end, but helped her, he reminded himself. He'd hurt Bella himself, too. No one was blameless.

The equivalent of a growl rippled through him emotionally, just thinking about the bent of this boy's thoughts.

"That bad?" Jasper asked, leaning against the window frame.

"Tch," Edward said, rocking the stroller back and forth.

"Alice made me come check," Jasper added. "Wouldn't tell me why, though."

Edward frowned. He wasn't contemplating doing anything...rash. At least, in his mind. It didn't escape his notice that Alice wasn't close enough for him to hear her.

Then Edward caught what Jasper was thinking.

"Please," he muttered. "As if."

"That's what Alice said," Jasper. "I'm just the messenger."

"Well, you can tell Alice that she's a chicken, if she can't say it to my face."

Jasper grinned, one eyebrow arched. "Your funeral, man." He was gone.

Bella didn't say much when the class ended, but nodded when Edward asked if she was ready to go home.

Things were quiet in the car, but Edward could tell that Bella was working up to something.

Finally, she opened her mouth.

"You can't push people away, that you don't like, in my life."

"I'm not," he said. "And I wouldn't."

"Death stare," she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Hardly," Edward said, not rolling his eyes, but wanting to.

"Edward," she said, "who are your friends?"

He looked sideways at her, frowning. What did that have to do with anything? "My family," he said, "our cousins in Denali."

"Friends, Edward."

"Friendship is...different, when you're a vampire," he said, eyebrows together, trying to explain this. "We don't really have...friends. The ties that bind are deeper. Much more profound."

"Exactly," Bella said.

He took her point.

"I have friends, and I would like to continue to make them." She said.

"And I would never interfere with that—"

"You'll just stand there staring at them with open hostility."

He hadn't, he knew. "I'm sorry," he said softly, "how should I have handled that better?"

"Smiled?" she suggested, "Looked relaxed, not cared that he stared at my boobs?"

Edward turned to her again, frowning noticeably.

"People do when I nurse. Not a big deal."

Edward blew out a breath. "Different times indeed," he said.

"Be accepting of my choices. Even when you don't like them."

He reached his hand over to take hers. "I love you," he said. "And I will accept your choices," he added.

"Good," she said, "because you'd have to learn to like disappointment if you didn't."

He chuckled, and heard hers mirrored back at him.

That night, when he returned, hearing Charlie asleep, he found her ruminating over the book he'd given her.

"I expected to find you knee deep in course reading," he said softly.

"It sort of is," she said, a half-smile on her face, but it didn't stretch to the eyes, and he heard the note of sadness in her voice.

He slid behind her on the bed, settling her on his lap. "This one again?" he asked. "I thought it was too morbid for you."

She nodded, and he could hear her breathing catch in her throat. He wasn't surprised to see the tears follow.

"Hey," he asked, turning her to face him, "what is it? I'm sorry about earlier today—"

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "It isn't about this afternoon. It was what we talked about last week."

He remembered everything from the week before, but wasn't sure to what exactly she was referring. He nodded, listening.

"You said," she sighed out, "that when I die, you'll follow."

He nodded again, eyebrows drawn together. Why was this upsetting her now?

"You can't," she said.

Now he was confused. "Why?" he asked, feeling his own chest spasm. It was painful just to think of her gone.

"Sarah," she whispered. "You can't leave her."

The spasm in his chest spread. He had to tell himself that he didn't need to breathe. He wanted to deny any need for this conversation, and run away from what she was suggesting. "Why?" he asked, hoping this was simply a misconception he could correct.

"She's a wolf, Edward. How can she not be?"

"OK," he said, trying to tease out the logic he couldn't fathom.

"They don't age when they change. Not when there are vampires nearby."

The full meaning of what she was asking was a vice around his centre. He reminded himself, again, that he didn't need to breath.

He would have to live without her. And not the vaporous existence he'd known in his time away.

He would need to live. For Sarah.

"We're a package deal," Bella said. "And if you need to leave, if you can't—" her voice broke, but she shoved out the next words, "I'll understand, but...I would need you to leave now. I can't—"

He put his finger to her lips. "No," he said. "Never. Not leaving." He wrapped her in his arms. "I love you, and I love her too. I will stay for her, as long she needs me, as long as she wants me."

Edward kept his arms tight. He didn't want her to pull away, to see his face until he could master all the feelings that walked freely there. They'd taken liberties with the muscles, and he looked like a man pained by a grief he could taste in the air. He knew the span of a human life.

When Bella finally pulled away, Edward's arms were locked. "Edward?" she whispered. "It's getting hard to breathe."

He let go, "Sorry."

Bella stopped, alarmed at his expression.

"I'll...need time," he said, "to...grow accustomed to this."

She nodded gravely. "Then I may as tell you the one other thing you need to know," Bella said.

There was more?

Edward swallowed, and brought his gaze to her eyes.

"I may just be...being paranoid, but, if it ever comes to you only being able to save one of us, I need you to save Sarah."

He shook his head. "It won't." He was rapidly running through scenarios, and could only imagine, in the most extreme of circumstances, such a thing happening. He wouldn't put them in such situations. Never in a situation that would risk them.

"Then you won't have trouble promising?" she said.

"I promise," he said solemnly.

She was still breathing faster than he liked, "because I couldn't imagine living, knowing it was at her expense." She shook her head, trying to stop the feeling inside, not caring for the tears that blurred her vision. "It's like...it's like having my heart, walking around in her body. I can't—"

"No," Edward said, holding her more gently. "I'll keep you both safe." He kissed the top of her head, and then her cheeks, and then felt her lips on his own.

Her hands strayed into fresh territory at his hips, and he kept his own safely locked at her back. He still didn't trust their volition.

He could feel her fingers tracing the lines of his body over the fabric of his shirt up over the shoulders, and then down, zigzagging over his chest, to his waist. She paused there, their lips still uninterrupted by air, or anything, but by the small language of their throats. She let her hands find his lower back, sliding downwards.

His own hands broke free, and moved, matching hers in pattern and scope. He knew he was dangerously on the edge of control, of moving beyond the limits he'd set for himself. It was easy to lean into her, make the press of their bodies tighter.

It was the proximity that made her tense, though, and he stopped, feeling it. She hadn't stopped kissing him, but he'd tasted the quality of it shifting, tripping over the edge of ease into something else.

The tremble in her hand, brought to her mouth, as he made space between them, was telling. Nerves. Or fear. He wasn't sure which.

Then she blushed, and grinned, looking down.

He grinned back at her, seeing what had caught her attention. "Is it terrible that I love that I can do that to you?"

She kept shaking her head, still grinning. "Turn around please," she said. Seeing his quizzical look, she smiled coyly, lowering her voice, "or not."

When he saw what she was about to do, he did, quickly.

"It's safe," she said. Her voice sounded just the teensiest bit smug. He could hear the soft thump of her wet shirt, thrown into the laundry pile. "I'm decent."

"If you say so," he said, turning around and picking her up, this time, keeping his touch in safe locations. "Do you have much more schoolwork tonight?"

"No," she shook her head. "I was just waiting up for you."

"I was wondering," he said, "seeing as Charlie is away a bit next week, if you wanted to spend the night with us? Alice," he added, "I'm sorry to say, has plans. I, however, will be a perfect saint."

She snorted. "I'm sure you will."

"It would be nice," he said, "to have you there. Spare the family standing in the woods." He didn't like to tug at her with guilt, but it was true.

"If Charlie's not here, there's nothing to stop them from coming in," Bella said, but seeing his look, laughed, "OK, I get it, sure. Sleepover it is." Then she added, "but I expect you to protect me from Alice."

"I can protect you from anyone...except, Alice," he promised.