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Chapter F-36: The Final Countdown, Part 3
Somewhere in the Ruined Space
While all the endless action transpired at the castle, one particular trio was going elsewhere. The Gilligan Triplets landed their C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. on a massive asteroid that may have used to be a planet. "Why don't they just tell us we're useless?" Harry asked glumly.
"Get over it." Artie replied. "We wouldn't last two seconds against any of those guys. Besides, we'll rejoin them soon enough."
"Calliope said it wasn't far." Haylee said. "Aha! There!"
A few miles ahead was a farmland of alien crops. A bearded man with a messy pompadour was raking the soil. He heard footsteps behind him and turned around. "Oh, it's some kids. …Wait…" He recognized them.
"No… way…" Haylee was gaping. "DANDY?!"
"Hey, you're that girl I lent the Aloha to! Helly!"
"IT'S HAYLEE! !" She glomped the man with joy on her features.
"Heheheh! Man, just when I thought the Apocalypse had nothing else to offer!"
"What's going on, Dandy?" Another farmer asked from a table. He was muscular and wore a filthy green jumpsuit. "You interrupted my story!"
"OH, GOODY! Some visitors!" Don Gero hopped from his seat at the table. They were seated around a round couch, borrowed from the Aloha Oe. "Please rescue me! This Copernicus fellow's stories are longer than Gamamaru's!"
"It's him!" Artie pointed. "Don Gero!"
"Dandy, what are you all doing out here?" asked Haylee. "I heard that you weren't on any planets when the Apocalypse hit; I thought you were DEAD!"
"I could say the same about you. I don't remember much of what happened… but about 10 days before it all went down, I visited this disco club in space and found a guy who calls himself a superhero."
"I'm sure you might've heard of the extravagant Captain Qwark!" the man grinned and pointed at himself. "I had lost sight of my good friend, Ratchet and these kids we were escorting to safety when the EVIL Dr. Nefarious knocked me out with a baseball bat—I mean, super complex Kung-Fu moves after a long and endearing battle. When I came to, I realized I had no money to pay for a cab and got a job at the Electrodrome. (The disco beats still haunt my brain.)"
"So, I picked him up and we decided to visit this pretty music planet." Dandy continued. "There, we found this old frog that said he could travel the Dream World and thought he would fetch a high price! But before we could get to the registration office, the universe kinda exploded. I'm guessing we only survived thanks to my Devil Fruit."
It was then Haylee thought back to her conversation with Dandy: "Why, even if the Apocalypse were to happen right now, you can bet I could avoid it with nary a scratch."
"MAN, this series has awesome foreshadowing!" Haylee shouted.
"What?"
"Nothing. Listen, Dandy, we're going to need to borrow Don Gero. It's for an important job."
"Sure, kid. Do whatever."
"But my story…" frowned Qwark.
"Be quiet. You're lucky you weren't even erased."
Casino Castle
It has been two days since the assault on the castle commenced. The halls seemed to stretch on and on, no matter which route the operatives took or what convenient puzzles that matched their powers stood in their way. The team of Wendy, Sugar, and Charle were having a sit rest in a hall. The former was using her magic to fix some colorful, soft see-through slippers over Sugar's feet. "There. Those should help you move around better."
"Thanks, Wendy. Hm hm, I guess going barefoot isn't for everybody." Sugar giggled. "Mine are just too soft. It's nice to have a comfy pair of shoes to dance in!"
"I agree. 'Course, I'm used to being on my feet. I've been running my whole childhood."
"Wendy…" Charle looked with sympathy.
And with that, she was back on her feet. "Well, we can't stop now! We've got a universe to save!"
Charle smiled. "Yes… we do!"
"Then it's time to bust out the 'Castle Bleck' theme again!" Meloetta sung.
"Can't we pick a different theme?"
"Nope! It's too catchy and end-of-the-world-y!" (You may resume the theme!)
Act 5: The Dance Floor
The girls raced through a hallway of Limbo Shy Guys, swiftly dodging their sticks by either jumping or sliding. They began to hear a catchy disco remix of the stage theme that existed nowhere on the Internet. The girls burst through the door to a disco room, where Billiard Boys, Shy Guys, and ladies in thick, fat coats were boogying on a tiled neon floor. "It's much too early for these lugs to be celebrating!" Charle shouted.
"It's NEVER too late or too early to DANCE!" danced Meloetta.
As they continued running, they passed through a blue gate, stretching out a path of blue tiles between red ones. Sugar stepped on a red tile and was electrocuted, so they stayed on the blue ones, sidestepping as the path did several zigzags. They hit a purple gate and were forced to stay along the purple tiles as the other ones had sunk far down. At the end, they passed through a yellow gate and landed on said tiled platform, facing a series of spinning platforms. Some had a straight yellow path, others had a single spot, and some's yellow tiles kept switching spots, so crossing the rotating footholds was tricky and painful.
They were free to stand on all tiles again after passing the segment. Two coated women blocked their path, dancing to the beat and pushing the group back with belly bounces. Sugar and Wendy mimicked their movements and dodged their attacks, waiting for the right openings to kick them in the heads until they fell.
Their next road took place over five rows of floating blocks, but only one color was solid at a time. Beep! Beep! Beep! BOOP! That color would flash on the ceiling for a few seconds before that path became solid, so the girls would know which path to jump toward before the switch. Further up, different blocks began to merge into each other's road, requiring some quick jumps, and when Wendy slipped and fell, Charle saved her daughter.
Some Dash Panels redirected them on a left turn, and this next set of block paths changed every second. Starting from the left, they sidestepped to the center, then right again, then left center, then very left, and repeated the process until they were at the end. They could rest on a safe platform, but before them was a wide, rotating tunnel of blinky tiles. A disco ball hovered in the center of the tunnel and shone spot lights around the tunnel. Those spotlights were safe to run in, but they not only prevented them from being electrocuted, but gravity was altered in those spots.
They were past the tunnel, but the trial still continued on a more narrow rotating path, the girls keeping within the spotlights. The path came to its end, but there was nowhere to go beyond besides taking the great fall. They descended into a spinning, neon vortex, one that would surely blind them. "Ergh… I can't see a thing!" Wendy squinted her eyes.
"Cast a Sunshade Charm, Child!" Charle stated.
"Oh, right!" Wendy used magic to cast a dim shade over their eyes, giving them protection like sunglasses. Through the neon lights, they could avoid the electrified tiles and eventually hit the bottom. On one last tiled path, a fat coated woman tried to push them off, and the tiles behind them beeped off one at a time. Sugar and Wendy combined Song Beam and Sky Dragon's Roar to take her down before they dashed into a door of light.
"What's with all this light?" Wendy asked.
"It seems to be coming from there!" Charle pointed.
They saw a humanoid figure in a tub. She was a woman with rainbow hair, and her dazzling naked form was the source of the bright light. She climbed out and grabbed a white robe from a hangar. When she slipped it on, the light dimmed. "Oh, my. How can you three live with such shabby outfits?"
"What are you?" Charle asked. "Lord English's tailor?"
"My name is Ragyō Kiryūin. I am the voice of the Life Fibers, the force from which all clothing originates from. And you must be part of those 'Kids Next Door' Bill is so concerned about. You should know that Lord English is beyond invincible now. I have crafted for him a suit made of my most powerful Life Fibers! Why, if you could simply GAZE at him, your very eyes would burn out of existence!"
"So, you ARE his tailor!" Sugar proclaimed.
"Were you even listening?!"
"We don't care how powerful he is!" Wendy said determinedly. "Nothing's gonna stop us from beating him! Right, team?"
"HER HAIR IS SO PRETTY!" Meloetta beamed. "Sugar, call Sector W7, Aeincha has to come see her hair!"
"Was anyone listening to me?…"
"Yes, I know I'm beautiful." Ragyō smirked. "And you can agree that my clothing helps my look. But the truth is, clothing is a sin. No matter how beautiful we look on the outside, we are rotten to the core on the ins-"
"Here she is!" Sugar pulled Aeincha out of the Vanishing Box.
"WOOOOW!" Her eyes were stars. "Her hair is so shiny and pretty!"
"I know!" So were Meloetta's. "I don't think I've ever seen hair that beautiful!"
"YOUR hair is the exact same!" Charle shouted.
"Ugh." Ragyō sighed. "Why am I wasting my breath? I should just destroy you and be done." She mended giant arrows out of red fibers and launched them at the group, but Wendy used the Sky Dragon's Claw to slice them.
"Ma'am, I would like to ask you to please stand down and let us pass. You've made the wrong choice to serve Lord English, but if we destroy him, you'll be able to go back to your world."
"Simple single-colored girl… All I care about is spreading my Life Fibers across the universe. But you poorly-dressed girls will make excellent sustenance. And SHE will make sure of that!"
At that instant, Meloetta blasted them all with a sonic wave. "Meloetta!" Sugar shouted. "What are you doing?!"
"During our talk, my Micro Fibers have infiltrated her brain." Ragyō spoke as Meloetta possessed a dull look in her eyes. "Such lovely hair… I couldn't let it go to waste. Now, my dear… teach these brats some manners!"
"Leave Meloetta to me!" Sugar said. "You two do something about that woman!"
"Got it! Let's take her down, Mom!"
"I'm right behind you, Wendy!" (Play "Vs. Yin-Yarn" from Kirby's Epic Yarn!)
Boss fight: Ragyō Kiryūin
Ragyō mended Covers and sent them to force their selves over Wendy, but she cast sapphire flames to burn the fibers. Wendy spun a whirlwind and used Engorgio to make it tornado-sized, but Ragyō used more Life Fibers to encircle the tornado and turn it against her. Ragyō willed it to spin the opposite way and whip out the fibers rapidly, scratching the girls' skin. She followed up by sewing giant fists, Wendy dodging as they punched with quickness, and when there was an opening, she ran at Ragyō and used Sky Dragon's Claw to SLASH the seamstress, followed by a kick and then a Cyclone Roar to blast her against the wall.
Ragyō climbed out and knitted a block around her body, sewing a spiked spring at the bottom of it as it bounced around in attempt to squash the mage. Wendy was still dodging proficiently, but none of her spells were able to penetrate. "Wendy!" Charle swooped in and lifted her up before Ragyō almost smashed her.
"Thanks, Mom! Look, the top part looks weak! Give me a good spin, will ya?!"
"You got it!" Charle spun rapidly as Wendy channeled Air Chi and Haki to her leg. With great momentum, Wendy's leg SMASHED into the top of the block and broke the fibers.
"HA HA!" Ragyō ensnared Wendy with the fibers, to which Charle was quick to cut her daughter free with her sharp high-heels. Ragyō stretched her fingers and pinned them both to the wall, dragging them all around the walls before slamming them on the floor. Ragyō knitted spikes around the ceiling and dropped them, but Wendy conjured a large, square barrier to protect all her friends. Wendy willed that barrier to wrap around the fibers, then slammed it into Ragyō for massive damage.
The woman was broken in several areas, but the Life Fibers reattached them, erasing any sort of damage inflicted upon her. Wendy bravely raced over, dodging fiber arrows and using Haki-imbued claw attacks to injure the witch. "As long as the Life Fibers protect me, I will be immortal! You can do NOTHING to me!" Ragyō mended short fiber swordsmen that attacked Wendy with combos. Charle swooped in to slash the swordsmen into pieces and fly her daughter away. Wendy used a Healing Charm on herself, then Charle performed aerial maneuvers to dodge fiber-made bladed boomerangs.
"Wendy, how do you suppose we defeat this woman? If she keeps reknitting herself…"
"Don't worry, Mom. I'm sure we'll find a weak spot soon." Wendy dropped to the floor and cast Ventus Glacius to freeze Ragyō's giant boomerangs, followed by Ventus Incendio to melt them. "In fact…" Wendy dodged her way to Ragyō once more, and when Life Fibers sprouted from the floor and grabbed her legs, Charle swooped up to cut them in an instant, barely slowing Wendy at all. "Sky Dragon's Iron CLAW! !" Wendy leapt above the seamstress and SLICED off her rainbow hair in one blow. Ragyō was left completely bald.
"Ha ha ha!" She was completely unfazed. "Oh, so you've cut my hair, boo-hoo. I'll simply grow it back more beautiful than ever, and use it to kill you!"
Wendy simply watched as Ragyō's head seemed to pump. "…?" She frowned. "It should've grown by now… Why haven't the Life Fibers-"
April Goldenweek burst out of Ragyō's body, yet instead of blood, out came scattered Life Fibers. Ragyō's expression remained aghast as she collapsed like a torn old rag. (End song.)
"HOORAAAAAY!" Aeincha cheered from April's shoulder. "You did it, April!"
"Amazing!" Charle gaped. "Wendy, how on Earth did you two do this?"
"Uh… I don't know." Wendy was confused also.
"I snuck in when you broke her open with that bubble!" Aeincha explained. "Then I used my mini scissors to cut an image into her body. I called April and she used her Keyblade to travel the Art World and come out from that image."
"Afterwards, I sliced her heart with my Keyblade." April concluded.
"…Well, not how I expected to achieve victory, but impressive." Charle said.
"Huh?" Meloetta regained sense in her eyes. "What happened? Sorry, I dozed off for a second."
"Ha ha ha!" Sugar laughed. "You didn't miss anything important!"
Wendy walked up and picked up some Life Fibers in her hand before letting it drop. "You know, if Aeincha was able to sneak into her body so easily… I wonder if this woman felt any feelings at all."
"Probably not." Aeincha replied. "There was nothing inside her except fabric. …But it did smell pretty gross."
"Anyway, we should get back to our team." April said. "We'll see you guys down the road!"
"Yeah! Thanks for the help!" Wendy held the Vanishing Box open so the two could jump inside. The three girls and Firstborn resumed their venture in the castle.
With Team Vweeb
"Hooooo wee!" Vweeb flexed his arms as he ran ahead of his teammates. "I've barely broken a sweat against these monsters! You know, Arianna, if you're tired, I would be happy to carry you."
"Why don't you join Sugar's group and carry her?" Arianna asked with furrowed eyes.
"Are you still hung up about that? She was weary and I was helping her bathe, it's called being a gentleman!"
"I'm beginning to understand why my people went to war with yours." Makava said.
"Hey, we're only human, Sis." Vweeb shrugged. "Er, metaphorically. …Who came up with that expression, anyway?"
"Can we hold off the discussion for later?" Tronta asked, annoyed. (Resume "Castle Bleck"!)
Act 6
As if luck and coincidence was on their side, giant flora was growing in this hallway. When the floor ended at a chasm, the four walked along a large tree root on the left wall. Afterwards, they had to bounce across some floating Skiploom Pokémon, but when a large gap separated them and the foothold, Tronta threw his Light Discs out to serve as platforms. On this foothold, three Mega Jumpluffs (with giant dandelions over their little bodies) drifted down and rained dandelion spores that forced the aliens into sneezing fits. "Good thing my nose is too small for this!" Vweeb retorted as he used the spores to swing up and dive through the dandelions, using Kateeny strength to punch each Jumpluff into submission.
They were on a giant tree with nowhere to go, so Arianna used plantbending to make giant leaves grow around it. Unfortunately, a strange buzzsaw was traveling after them and cutting the leaves' stems, so they could spare no extra time on one leaf. The leaves rotated upward and led them to a hall with more overgrown flora. They wandered into a giant forest. "AAAH!" Vweeb screamed when Piranha Plants dropped and dangled from the treetops.
Makava nimbly dodged their teeth and beheaded each Piranha, then sliced the heads in half as they still rolled and bit. Deep within the forest, they were required to cross a chasm with floating hoops of different sizes. The only things wide enough to fit in those hoops were the Piranha Plant heads, which were also different sizes. Big ones, small ones, medium ones… unfortunately, by the time they figured this out, Makava had slaughtered most of the Piranhas. But there was a clock in the room, and when it chimed midnight, all the enemies grew back.
Makava decapitated the Piranhas they needed and chucked them into the proper hoops (facedown because teeth). The aliens hopped across and arrived at a pool. Makava held onto Vweeb and Arianna guided Tronta as they dove under. In this underwater tunnel, Bubble Plants provided them air, but they could each only breathe one before the clock struck 12am again and the bubbles turned poison. They held their breath for a whole minute's worth of second-long minutes, carefully avoiding the poison bubbles until they became pure again.
The tunnel redirected upwards, and Mega Seaking (two long spikes and golden bodies) swam at them in a fury. Makava and Tronta were the only ones who could combat them via their weapons. They were slowly nearing the spotted ceiling of the tunnel—it turned and revealed its massive mouth; they had been swimming to a giant Piranha Plant. It tried to slurp them in like a vacuum, so Arianna released Celebi from her Spirit Ball. "I'll take care of this!" Celebi used a great surge of Plant Chi to reduce the monster's size.
The aliens kept swimming to the top of the tunnel, ignoring the tiny seedling of a Piranha Plant. They resurfaced in a room with another giant tree that was glowing a purple light at the top.
"You will go NO FARTHER!" roared a voice so dark and foreboding that it rattled their bones. Their eyes were drawn up, seeing a being in purple mechanical armor with a green eye attached to several vines. "You have done well to get this far. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Dark Oak, ruler of the Metarex! And what you see before you is my Forestation Project."
"Forestation Project?" Arianna repeated.
"I'm feeling incredible Plant Chi from this room." Celebi said. "But there's darkness mixed with it…"
"Bill Cipher claimed Lord English would help me spread forestation to my universe, but when their guard is down, I shall absorb BOTH their life energy into my plants and USE their power for my own!"
"I don't think that's going to go very well…" Vweeb replied honestly.
"Oh, I can assure you it will. Because now my most vital ingredient has finally arrived!"
"BIII!" Celebi was captured in a glowing purple flower. Green chi flowed through the stem and filled the entire tree.
"Neah hahahahahahahahaha! I can feel it! Ultimate power courses through me! It is even greater than the combined might of the Chaos Emeralds! NOTHING CAN STOP ME!"
"We'll see about that!" Arianna yelled with determination.
"Strange… your voice is familiar. It reminds me of hers… Perhaps when I am finished with your friends, I will see if there's a connection!" (Play "Andross Brain" from Star Fox 64!)
Boss fight: Dark Oak
Dark Oak swooped down and slashed his sword at the group, which Makava countered with both of hers. As they fought, Vweeb jumped around Dark Oak's armor in attempt to find an opening. "WAH!" A vine whipped the little guy off, but as he fell in midair, he shot lasers at the armor. They bounced right off. "For a plant, he's got some pretty thick skin."
"Then perhaps we must cut him at the stem!" declared Ari. "Attack the tree!"
"Never thought I'd hear you say that, Sis!" Tronta yelled, throwing his bladed Light Discs at the trunk of the tree. The discs rotated and trimmed the bark off. Vweeb assisted him using Powuh Shots, and when Dark Oak tried to attack them, Arianna bent brambles up to restrain him. Makava ran up the brambles and slashed the Metarex's eye, but bore no fruit as Dark Oak shook them off and cut the brambles. Dark Oak flicked his wrist and made spikes pop out of the trunk and push Vweeb and Tron away.
Dark Oak trapped Ari and Makava in Venus flytraps and choked them for their health, but both girls were able to escape with struggling. Dark Oak summoned a swarm of Razor Leaves that left no safe place to stand, so the aliens used any means necessary to cut or shoot the leaves, enduring the pain from the leaves that slipped by. Tron and Vweeb went back to blasting the Dark Tree as Arianna stretched brambles to entangle Dark Oak again. "If I contribute more power, the brambles will be stronger, and they'll cut through!"
"You pathetic fools! Nothing can pierce my armor!" Dark Oak grabbed a bramble and yanked Arianna up to him. Sword drawn, he aimed for her waist, but Makava leapt up again and defended her. The Glomourian got atop him and sliced the vines he was hanging from, but more quickly grew to catch him again. The vines whirled Dark Oak around in a spherical fashion as airwaves lashed from his sword into multiple directions. They either dodged or defended, and afterwards Arianna grabbed Makava in vines and swung her at Dark Oak while her swords were extended.
The Dark Tree rained giant acorns around the room, exploding and slightly injuring the group. During their weakness, branches grew from the tree and smashed down at them. Makava saw one coming for her brother and leapt to slice it, and Arianna formed a bramble shield to defend herself. Vweeb used two Powuh Shots to cut off two separate branches, but one last branch swept the floor and knocked them away. Four more Venus flytraps stretched down and ensnared the team. Vweeb was trapped with Makava, but he blasted an opening for them to escape, only for Dark Oak to fly over and slash Makava.
Vweeb landed on Dark Oak and got on the back of his armored neck, the Metarex swinging back to cut him, without fearing of cutting his own impenetrable armor. Vweeb leapt on the sword and used Kateeny strength to knock it out of his hand, and after hitting the ground, he used a Powuh Shot to blast Dark Oak, but it merely bounced off his armor. "There's nothing that can injure him!"
"Mwahahahahaha! Now you finally realize, there is nothing that can stop the Metarex regime! We will be the ultimate force in the universe! We will control all life in existence! And we will control… What?!" An unseen force made him twitch. "NNNGH! !" His armor compressed. "AAAGH! What's happening?! NOOOOOO…!" Within seconds, the armor crumpled into a ball, and Dark Oak's body was crushed inside it. (End song.)
". . . ." Team Vweeb was both unimpressed and underwhelmed. "WOOHOOOO!" Emily Garley danced in the entrance to the room. "EMILY IS THE VICTOR! She is the inventor and robots are her tools!" Using metalbending, she made the ball of armor dance. "Dun-dun-dun-dun, HEY! Dun-dun-dun-dun, HEY!"
"Chill out, Emily." Sunni came behind her. "Don't get all cocky because that was the one enemy you can kill in one hit."
"Celebi!" Mew flew up to the plant Celebi was trapped and ripped her free with psychic.
"Phew! Thank you, Mew!"
". . . ." Team Vweeb could not believe what was happening. Nebula came in next. "Oh, it's you. Everything all right so far?" she asked them.
"…Just peachy, Ma'am." Tronta answered.
"Good. Don't stop now. Lord English can't be far ahead." Her group continued onward, Emily still dancing silly.
"…We will never speak of this again." Tron said. They nodded in agreement. They kept walking while Dark Oak's crumbled body squirmed.
"All operatives, this is Nebula!" the Supreme Leader spoke into her communicator. "We've just defeated another one of the Backup Army!"
"NO, I DID IT! !" Emily shouted. "Emily Garley, one-hit KO, spread the word!"
"This is Wendy Marvell. We defeated a Backup Army officer, too!"
"Excellent!" Calliope responded from hers. "Nearly all of my brother's agents are down! I sUrmise we will be arriving at his qUarters soon. I know yoU're all excited, bUt don't forget aboUt the plan. Dimentio and Bill won't be as easy!"
"Oh, Oi can probably one-shot 'em both!" Sheila said.
"Don't be crazy, Sheila!" Mason shouted.
"Look, if anyone encounters Bill, you have to call Jessie!" Nebula ordered. "It's as simple as that. And if you encounter Dimentio, call me and Diwata. We're the only ones that can beat him! Well, maybe not the ONLY ones…"