Disclaimer: The epigraph is from Breaking Benjamin's song "Breath".
The General
Chapter Thirty Five
I know I can find the fire in your eyes.
Nagaharu sat down in the loose circle composed of the only people speaking with him. He noticed Sango and Miroku talking in hushed tones. Both had their mouths turned down in displeasure and Sango even glared at him sternly whenever they glanced over. They turned their backs and sat with their own group. Young Kagome had finally stopped crying. She held the fox child in her lap and acknowledged her companions with a stiff half-smile.
Nagaharu sighed. "Seems like I'm not wanted. Can't blame ya if ya'll feel the same."
Gengo's heavy hand clapped onto his shoulder. "We make our own decisions, Haru. We chose to trust you."
"Thanks." Nagaharu sniffed, rubbing a bandaged finger under his nose. He looked at where Inuyasha had lain. Stomach rotting, young face twisted in pain. "I just hope the choices were good ones."
Next to this group, Kasuhama abruptly stood to his feet. The cave room quieted as he sniffed the air, a look of intensity on his face. Other dog-demon soldiers scented the air as well, all receiving the news first. Listless eyes brightened.
"Miroku," Kasuhama barked.
He hurried out of the room in need of no reply. Miroku got up and ran. Everyone had enough sense to let the person who could control the barriers—besides the overly distraught Kagome—leave the room before they too scrambled up and clogged the exit.
Nagaharu was one of the last two to leave. He stopped next to Rin. She had been suffering from the others' caustic treatment as well because of her decision to rip down the ofuda. She wrung her thin child hands.
"Shippo won't talk to me…" she whispered. She didn't look up at him or say anything more. Her demeanor said enough and did it better than her puerile vocabulary could explain. They echoed his worries.
What if I'm wrong? What if I made the wrong choice?
Nagaharu covered her twisting fingers with his, stilling them. "Come along, little one," he said kindly. "We'll go together."
They walked out hand in hand.
At the mountain's gaping entrance, there was chaos. The sixteen dog demons, three grown humans, one kitsune, one nekomata, an amphibian-looking imp, tiger demon, snake demon, and cat demon (additionally, an unseen flea Youkai) swarmed the two returned brothers with an explosion of both joyous homecoming and aggression. Inuyasha was tossed about from person to person. He had his hair tousled, was patted on the back, and even got trapped in a few painful hugs here and there. Nobody touched Sesshomaru. He was surrounded with noise instead. Questions and demands were yelled over hoots of "Inuyasha, I'm so glad you're alive!" and "Did he hurt you at all?"
Sesshomaru silently took it all in. No one considered that he was being indulgently patient; instead, they found the stoic impassiveness of his face insulting. Sesshomaru slid a glib eye over his soldiers who were kept at bay by the outstretched arms of Kasuhama. Releasing a heavy breath through his nose, he finally met Kasuhama's severe gaze.
"Lord Sesshomaru…" Kasuhama wanted to say many things. So you can do a decent thing! You kept your promise, thank you. What are you going to do now? Do you still want to kill him? I won't let you hurt the child again! Leave. We'll treat him as part of the pack…like you should have long ago.
He decided on the most obvious and less problematic: "You're back."
Sesshomaru tilted his chin in acknowledgment.
Inuyasha, on the other hand, was not taking it all in very well. He was overwhelmed. Life, and the person next to him, made him wary of physical contact. He sadly was not accustomed to anybody being that…happy to see him. The noiseless voice of his instincts, taught too well, warned him about possible deception from the happy full-demons. Inuyasha could be tolerant enough of Miroku, Sango, Kirara, Shippo, and Kagome welcoming him back because he was used to them and had already gotten over the hump and accepted that they were really his friends, the first ones he'd ever made. But full -demons? Inuyasha stepped backwards in an attempt to get away from the outstretched hands, overbearing noise, and his own low self-esteem.
He got too close to the rocky edge. One foot slipped. A strong hand saved him from toppling over just in time.
Sesshomaru righted the hanyou and released his hold on the fire-rat suikan. Inuyasha was too distracted to think much of it. Others noticed. Kasuhama and Miroku in particular eyed Sesshomaru suspiciously.
"Hey, hey! Stop being so damn loud! I can't hear myself think!" Inuyasha smacked his nose. "OW! Myouga."
The flea puffed himself back into normal size. He had tears in his eyes. "My lord, you are well. There's not a single drop of poison in your blood. It is as delicious as always!"
Inuyasha flicked the flea into the great beyond. "Yeah, yeah, I could have told you that." Myouga managed to cling to a soldier's clothing. When he realized who it was he hung from, the cowardly little demon yipped in terror and bounced over to Sango.
"You're really okay, Inuyasha?" the Taijiya asked.
"Yes, okay? I'm only going to say that once. Don't be asking me every five seconds. Got it?"
To his complete and utter befuddlement, Inuyasha's crude demand made a lot of them smile.
"Inuyasha?"
"Kagome." Inuyasha grunted when an orange ball of fluff smacked into his chest. "Shippo? Oi…oi, brat, what are you…stop it!"
Shippo ignored him and continued to pull at the hanyou's clothing. He slipped inside and pushed his feet against Inuyasha's chest, dislodging the robes more from their knots and tucking. "OI!" Inuyasha grabbed Shippo by the tail and hoisted him up.
"It's gone!" Shippo cried, voice breaking. Upside down, he stretched out his little arm and gripped Inuyasha's clothing. He revealed a thinly muscled abdomen, normal and healthy. There was no scarring, no blood stains, and no pus—nothing wrong with it at all.
The group made a resounding sigh of relief. Eyes flicked over to Sesshomaru.
"Brat. I could have told you that too! You didn't have to frickin' undress me—AH!" Shippo bit his hand to get released and then jumped to embrace Inuyasha around the neck. A teary-eyed Kagome lunged at him too. She tightly embraced his healed middle. Inuyasha could do nothing to neutralize attacks on two fronts. The sniveling sealed the deal that he would be unable to rudely shove them off. It just wasn't fair. Inuyasha's defenses wilted when they whimpered his name again and again. He hated when people cried. He awkwardly patted their backs. "Hey, stop crying. I'm fine."
Outside of the crowd, Nagaharu squeezed Rin's hand and gestured to the scene. "See? Nothing to worry about." He cleared his throat because of the lump that had lodged there.
Rin grinned and politely removed herself to go see her Youkai lord. "Lord Sesshomaru!"
The mass huddle of bodies was reluctant to let the little girl through. She uncharacteristically pushed and scrambled her way around legs and reaching arms. "Lord Sesshomaru," panting, she smiled freely up at him, "you are all better." She had seen him cured of the disease days ago but was never given the chance to say anything about it.
Rin was a perceptive child when it came to some things; she noticed the softening of Sesshomaru's eyes, though his facial expression remained aloof. "Rin," he said simply. A burden lifted from him. He saw her and felt no killing desire. He was free of the disease's influence. Sesshomaru spared a glance at the half-boy next to him.
The initial explosion of chaos tuned down into more manageable pandemonium. Sesshomaru stayed true to his character and did not give out details on how Inuyasha was healed or what else transpired in the couple of days they were gone. It was business no one needed to know. He made only one answer before walking into the caves' darkness, an overly emotional Jakken at his heels, and it was: "I possess the antidote for my own poison." Inuyasha felt his face heat up. He gave no details either because of the embarrassment his human half felt from the few moments he remembered. (Even more embarrassing was that his demon half thought a Youkai tongue bath was the most natural thing in the world!) How he was healed aside, Inuyasha was mortified that he had fallen asleep around Sesshomaru and currently felt the freshest he'd ever been. Inuyasha was baffled about himself and Sesshomaru. For one, Sesshomaru hadn't let Inuyasha go back to the caves (once he'd woken up again) until his thirst and hunger were completely gone. This had been a struggle with lots of yelling, refusal, and attempts at starting fights on Inuyasha's part. But Inuyasha was confused about himself too because—he soon chose to lose the struggle. He was so physically content right now, he was secretly lethargic. Inuyasha was never lethargic and he hated to lose! It was just too weird. Sesshomaru treated him pretty normal, he guessed; the Daiyoukai ridiculed his body's condition and said he couldn't condone such "a state of weakness". But he never laid a claw on Inuyasha and, if Inuyasha didn't know any better, the insults were meant to goad him into accepting the food and water…
But that, Inuyasha dismissed, was way too weird to consider.
In truth, Inuyasha decided to dismiss a lot of things. He thought it was the best thing for his sanity because he couldn't reconcile all these different people in his head—the Sesshomaru with the evil smirk as he ripped that black pearl from his eye, the Sesshomaru who coolly impaled him and took his life, the brother in the future and his soft look of concern, a transformed Inu-Youkai licking the tears from his face, or the Sesshomaru who kept glancing at him with a strange look of peaceful comprehension, like he'd finally come to terms with something. Inuyasha wasn't good with introspecting himself, never mind analyzing someone else's actions. Inuyasha heard the story about Sesshomaru attacking the barrier in order to get to him. Inuyasha had figured, and accepted, that Sesshomaru was going so far to hide him and maintain his life just so he could kill him a second time on the Daiyoukai's personal terms. That made sense because Inuyasha understood Sesshomaru when it came to how the Daiyoukai dealt with power and control. But keeping control of when Inuyasha died did not call for that kind of desperation, or allowing the hanyou to sleep so close as he healed, or tirelessly stuff food and water down Inuyasha's throat until he was completely satisfied. It would have made sense to Inuyasha if Sesshomaru had just administered his antidote and then plopped Inuyasha onto the cold cave floor, leaving it up to others to clean him up. It did not make sense that Sesshomaru played "nurse" himself…and with a whole heck of a lot more gentleness and patience then Inuyasha would like to admit. It didn't make sense, so Inuyasha dismissed it. He had to.
Sure, he would like to figure Sesshomaru out. That way, he could protect himself and his pack against any more falsehood, sneaky traps, or any other cruelty that got concocted in Sesshomaru's head. Or at least try to…
There was no use worrying about that, Inuyasha quickly admonished himself. He could and would protect everyone, no matter what happened. There was no use thinking about any of this...No use remembering how warm he'd been in the crook of the transformed Inu-Youkai's large neck, the safety he'd unconsciously accepted while dozing on that tree branch; those secret expressions of satisfaction Inuyasha chanced to see on Sesshomaru's face whenever he finished the meat the Youkai had provided. It was pointless to notice that Sesshomaru's eyes still saw him, fully acknowledged him, whenever they crossed paths in the caves as the days passed; or notice that their verbal scuffles felt one-sided, like Sesshomaru was just pretending to mock him; or feel like the word "hanyou" leaving from the Daiyoukai's lips seemed more like a nickname than an insult lately. There was no use in noticing that Sesshomaru always ghosted past the barrier blocking off Inuyasha and the human gang's sleeping quarters as soon as everyone was asleep. And it was stupid, completely stupid, to be restless and uneasy until he felt that aura reach out through the barrier and gently touch him. Just one quick touch and then Sesshomaru continued on his walk and Inuyasha felt okay to doze off.
Pointless and stupid, stupid, stupid.
Because Inuyasha knew it wouldn't last. He would like to figure Sesshomaru out and find out why his behavior seemed so…un-bastard-like lately. (The possibility that Inuyasha's fever-dream, where he apologized to Sesshomaru for murdering their father, actually happened and was the reason for Sesshomaru's behavior was fully and completely eradicated from Inuyasha's contemplation.) But wondering about Sesshomaru was the most pointless thing.
Things would go back to normal soon. Sesshomaru's cold malice was a constant in Inuyasha's life. Sesshomaru didn't change. That brother in the future just couldn't be possible.
Inuyasha tried to dismiss a lot of things, his persistent hope including.
But he, and everyone else, was soon thrown for a loop when things did not go back to normal. The days started to stack and poor Inuyasha became more and more confused. But if it was any consolation for his sanity and the preservation of his secretly vulnerable heart, Sesshomaru was not having an easy time with his changes either.
It wasn't as though Sesshomaru suddenly climbed to a mountain peak and announced to the world that he accepted his baby brother and would love him forever. In truth, Sesshomaru had not yet fully accepted Inuyasha—not the kind of blood-deep acceptance that is required of Inu-Youkai custom anyway. Not to mention Sesshomaru was emotionally stunted and could barely even contemplate the idea that he was capable of feeling affection for…anything, never mind his hanyou brother. But he was more open to other things. He acknowledged the pup now as something more than a half-breed. He consciously and honestly acknowledged the things he'd secretly already known for a long while: Inuyasha was stronger than the restrictions society placed on half-demons, he had surpassed father when he defeated Ryuukotsusei, he was not to blame for father's death since it was the Youkai-man's decision, they would be a good team to defeat Naraku if they sided together, and Inuyasha was a good pack leader (Sesshomaru refused to use an adjective loftier than "good" for this list). Additionally, Sesshomaru was more willing to look back on his pact actions and determine that many of his dealings with Inuyasha had been directly stemmed from the bitterness and rage he felt for his father. (And secretly, very, very secretly, he could see that he possessed a small amount of jealously towards Inuyasha, mainly in regards to that damned coveted Tetsusaiga.) Most importantly, whatever had altered in Sesshomaru had made it possible for him to see Inuyasha…as Inuyasha—just like he could see Rin as Rin. All in all, Sesshomaru had made astounding progress. All it took was tripping over a final and freakishly stubborn hurdle and the revelations came easily. It was integrating these new inner discoveries to his outer life that was difficult.
He wasn't doing anything exceptionally affectionate or even that courteous to Inuyasha. To a stranger, Sesshomaru's "un-bastard-like" behavior wouldn't seem that out-of-the-ordinary. So he nodded at Inuyasha in the morning. So he didn't knock the boy's jaw loose for his uncouth insults. So he had kept Inuyasha from falling off the ledge on the day of their return. This was no cause for alarm.
But for the people who knew the tumultuous relationship between Inuyasha and Sesshomaru—for those who had seen Sesshomaru call Inuyasha "filth" and nastily rip out the half-boy's innards—a simple nod in the morning was worrisome.
This reaction he was getting was starting to irritate Sesshomaru. Particularly, Inuyasha's reaction. He was just following his instincts. The beast within didn't like it when he argued with the pup. It growled in earnest to make Inuyasha calm at night. And it absolutely detested the reeking scent of distrust, suspicion, and anger (and fear) that permeated from him whenever he was around Sesshomaru. The beast wanted and Sesshomaru convinced himself, most times, that he was just appeasing that want. It was annoying and painful to ignore instinctual commands after all.
But that was a lie. Sesshomaru knew that he was stronger than his instincts. He had ignored them successfully for years after all. No, this Sesshomaru wanted something too.
He just didn't know what that was. Sesshomaru was certainly not aching for a closer relationship with his baby brother; he wasn't even sure what that entailed. There was a brief amount of time when Sesshomaru hazily remembered playing with other Inu-children, gently conversing with father about childhood aspirations, and cooing from the rare times his mother groomed his fur. A time where he understood love, craved affection, and was willing to give both to others. Unfortunately, that time was brief and clouded from the long years he had been insensitively trained to become the perfect heir. Harsh teachers, unaffectionate nursemaids, his mother's absence, his father's distraction, and a growing cold determination in his child heart to garner the respect and admiration of those around him (of his father); to one day be allowed to do what he wanted, instead of following the wishes of others…!—that was remembered more vividly.
It was all very frustrating and, unlike Inuyasha, he could not simply dismiss the things he did not understand. He had done enough dismissal in his lifetime. Besides, that would require dismissing Inuyasha entirely.
Instincts couldn't tell you everything. They couldn't completely unravel the puzzle that was his brother. Yes, he saw the boy—but he really was just seeing what had always been right in front of his nose and had been denied for decades. Since Sesshomaru was getting better about being honest with himself, he could admit that for the last week or so that they had returned to the caves he had come to find Inuyasha…
Well…
…fascinating.
He very discreetly observed his brother every day and was constantly surprised. He learned very impressive things and also very inconsequential things, which all still fascinated him. He came to notice that when Inuyasha conversed with Kasuhama, Yasuo, Kuma, Tomi, and the other soldiers, a look of impressive maturity would settle on his face. Inuyasha's tone of voice would be level and nearly flippant with self-confidence. Sesshomaru couldn't decide whether Inuyasha was just that uncaring about the deep loyalty these full-demons had announced to him, in front of their current Inu-no-Taisho to boot…or if Inuyasha just did not understand how important he had become to them. Sesshomaru was preferable for the latter when he took note of the brief twists of discomfort and almost panic that flickered in Inuyasha's eyes when Shippo and Rin snuggled up to him, when he was complimented by the grave-robbing gang, when Kasuhama and the others referred to him as "lord". It was a kind of all-consuming panic that made it seem like Inuyasha was waiting for some sort of trick.
For punishment.
Using affection as a trick to lull Inuyasha into a false sense of security was something Sesshomaru had never done. But Sesshomaru witnessed the cruel cleverness of humans many times. He could recall moments when villagers offered kind words, treats, and promises of including the hanyou in their games back when Inuyasha was a child. Sesshomaru had reveled in watching those offerings taken away and the whelp beaten for falling for the obvious ploys. Still, young Inuyasha kept falling for them. There must have come a time, when Sesshomaru was not watching from the shadows, when Inuyasha refused to fall for them anymore and forced his heart to become callous and paranoid. This was a good thing. Inuyasha learned to protect himself. Trust was for fools. Showing emotion was a weakness. These were what those tutors had taught Sesshomaru when he was a child. The brothers were more alike than he thought.
A little voice whispered to him in the back of his thoughts:
Why did that disappoint him?
Why did he wish Inuyasha had not learned that?
Sesshomaru kept watching Inuyasha to try and figure him out, to figure it all out.
And he failed more and more and grew more and more irritated. The days stacked on with a growing need to find the answers he sought.
It was inevitable that it would all come to a head one bitter morning. It slowly wound up into a tight ball of palpable tension—all of the worried mumbles among Inuyasha's pack mates and Sesshomaru's soldiers, the meaningful glances sent about when noticing the continued strangeness of Sesshomaru's behavior and Inuyasha's painful confusion, and the inner cacophony of frustrating questions and denied hope within the chests of the Inu brothers. Those who could sense the pressurization of emotion made the right decision in staying as far away as possible, preferably in dark little corners where they couldn't be seen.
It all began with a single conversation.
Inuyasha sat down and stifled a breath of too-short relief when Kagome joined at his side. He grumpily shifted over to make room. They were finally alone. Everyone had heeded to his demand in not asking if he was alright, but the continuous not-so-subtle scrutinizing of his body and tiptoeing conversations annoyed him greatly. He yearned for peace and quiet from worried friends and troubled thoughts. He looked over at Kagome and knew that he wouldn't be getting any peace soon. She was looking at the ground, chewing her lip in hesitation. He contemplated whether he should just dive in and get the bloody conversation over with but Kagome beat him to it with a surprisingly steady voice.
"Tell me what happened, Inuyasha."
A heady combo of consternation, frustration, and something he didn't want to admit was fear swept through his system. He closed his eyes against the deluge. Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha started to steadily tell her the messed up story. He missed Kagome's quiet look of surprise. Kagome had wanted to talk to Inuyasha about his brother for a good week and a half or so now but was afraid to push it. Besides, after all these months traveling with Inuyasha, she came to terms with his secretiveness and his stubborn want to hide his weaknesses. Inuyasha certainly did keep some disquieting things to himself. He still refused to admit to anyone that he had perhaps been taken care of by an older, and kinder, Sesshomaru in the future. (Whether that was a messed up dream or not, he still couldn't evaluate it.) He also played down Sesshomaru's method of healing him, calling it only a "freaky demon thing". Everything else though, including his confusion and pain, he allowed to bubble out from his lips. Why hide it from her? He'd decided and accepted this already with the single-minded stubbornness he was characteristic of. She had seen him at his weakest. His very, very weakest. Human, broken, and sobbing. She had ripped the scab bearing his brother's name clean off his heart and saw the disgusting tumor of raw pain hidden beneath it. Inuyasha also remembered her promise. No one will know. I won't tell a soul. I'll keep it a secret from us even. I'll never bring it up. For as long as I live…I promise, Inuyasha.
Whatever he told her, she would take it to her grave. Deep in his heart, there was a permanent place for Kagome and a well of trust that wouldn't drain from her. So he confessed it all out to the empty cave walls and Kagome's waiting ears, tired of keeping it inside and pretending that it didn't matter and was pointless to think about. Because he did think about it—all the goddamn time. He needed to bleed it out or it would just keep poisoning him.
"And he won't stop saying my name, Kagome. Before, it was always 'hanyou' this and 'foolish brother' that but now he's saying my name more and more. I can't stand it." Inuyasha paused before his voice could crack. "He's never acted this way before. What is he trying to pull! I'm already here! I'm practically sitting on a silver platter for that pompous ass! He doesn't need to—he doesn't have t—and with the Royal Board and that Kasubaba-bastard…I mean…"
Inuyasha dwindled off. He took another deep breath and readied himself for finally looking at Kagome's expression. He trusted her but he wouldn't be able to handle it if she pitied him or glowed with concern. He didn't need that. He needed answers! He needed to punch Sesshomaru into his old, less confusing ways. He just…he needed someone besides Tetsusaiga to listen to him. The unease in him quieted when Inuyasha looked into her eyes. Kagome stared very calmly, only firm understanding in her brown depths.
"Do you think he's trying to trick me?" he whispered.
He was briefly taken aback by how desperately he waited for her answer, practically with baited breath. How quickly and fully he trusted her. When had that trust grown so deep?
She didn't answer right away. Kagome looked off to the side and took her time mulling it over. Inuyasha appreciated it; he didn't want a slick answer or a meaningless platitude. And Kagome thought about her answer very seriously. She'd had a lot of time to think herself. She'd come to learn a lot these last few weeks about herself and Inuyasha. Since she had finally broken through Inuyasha's last emotional wall and seen him at his weakest, Kagome no longer felt so desperate. The calmness which had descended on her sparingly in the past could now be tapped into readily. She felt older and more secure in her relationship with Inuyasha. Certainly, she still had doubts and fears and insecurities. Would he be willing to stay with her when this was all over? Did he still only see Kikyou or had he, could he, move on?
Was the look she saw sometimes in his eyes really the love she hoped and craved for?
Kagome had grown but was still a teenage girl in some respects. Regardless, Kagome had come a long way in understanding that there were times in love and friendship where your own feelings should be pushed away. Right now Inuyasha needed her for support and stability so she calmly contemplated what she had noticed from the sidelines since the brothers' return. Once her initially overwhelming relief from seeing Inuyasha actually alive and healthy, and that of her rage at seeing Sesshomaru back as well, had lessened a tad, Kagome had uncharacteristically taken a proverbial step backward. Oh, she had wanted to tear into the Daiyoukai like everyone else but as the days wore on, it hadn't been necessary. Everyone else tore into Sesshomaru for her. Rin too, in her own childish way, although she had forgiven her lord with the overt quickness of a child and a loyally loving heart. No, Kagome left Sesshomaru alone, stayed near Inuyasha, and suspiciously watched the older male.
Kasuhama, a few other soldiers, Miroku, Sango, the Grave Robbing Gang at sporadic times, and Myouga (at his bravest) practically pestered Sesshomaru about his intentions with his little brother. Whenever Kagome saw him, someone was there either trying to quarter Sesshomaru into a conversation or steadfastly grill him for a confession. Obviously Sesshomaru had lost his influence for everyone barely spoke respectfully with him. They all still carried a degree of fear and begrudging deference to Sesshomaru's power but their concern for Inuyasha's physical and emotional well-being was too great. Surprisingly enough, Sesshomaru took it all in stride. He gave nothing away and was aloof as he'd always been before Inuyasha had saved him from the snow. Not once had he threatened, growled, or even raised his voice in frustration. Kagome wondered if perhaps Sesshomaru's rage after waking up in the human village and in the clearing when he killed Inuyasha was influenced by the plague he'd contracted. His treatment of Inuyasha since he first awoke in the village had seemed uncharacteristically volatile and hasty, but at the time Kagome had figured he'd been pushed too far by the fact that a hanyou had rescued him. She remembered the stretching red eyes through the haze of a pink barrier; giggling and salivating lips snarling out something akin to Inuyasha's name. Kagome still couldn't judge it completely but whatever the plague affected or not, Sesshomaru now seemed back to his usual spirits.
Slightly…
While everyone else, and Inuyasha too, had whispered doubts, Kagome unwillingly disagreed that Sesshomaru's strange behavior towards Inuyasha was a cruel ruse. She had seen Sesshomaru's cruelties. Was there when he had convinced Inuyasha his mother was back from the dead. Their dealings with the Daiyoukai had taught her that Sesshomaru could trick and lie. And yet there was always a line that was never crossed. Kagome couldn't really define that line but she could sense there was one that Sesshomaru, with all his arrogance and imperial attitude, refused to tamper with. A nod in the morning, a lack of insults, and a soft but continuous focus on his little brother did not constitute an elaborately crafted plan for destruction. Sesshomaru simply would not do such a thing. Sesshomaru was sadistic but even he would not garner Inuyasha's affections for deception. Kagome didn't feel that she could argue for this very well—after all, it was just a feeling—but she would resolutely defend it. Besides…
There was that look on Sesshomaru's face.
If it all was a ploy, then Sesshomaru would not need to keep such an expression when no one was looking. Such a strange and beguiling expression. It fit onto his features awkwardly, like he shared Kagome's sentiments that it didn't suit his elegantly chiseled face. Bewilderment. Understanding. Surprise. Amusement. Confusion. Frustration. Curiosity. Kagome had seen flickers of these, or what she at least thought were these, in the furrow of his brows, the slight thinning of his lips, and the narrowed focus of his eyes. All directed towards Inuyasha and lingering long after he left. And too, was there a very, very soft prickle of hurt. Something that could only be described as the expression of a man who had found something he had lost and searched so long for, only to not know how to regain his rights for its possession.
Kagome compared this expression to Inuyasha's explanation of what happened:
We slept, Kagome. Actually…actually near each other. That, that's never happened. If I've ever slept near him before, it was because he had knocked me off my ass and I was unconscious.
He wouldn't stop frickin' feeding me! And no matter what I said—I mean, I even threw the meat at his smug, moon-face—he never once got mad. Shit, Kagome, everything I do should get him mad. It has gotten him mad since I was a pup. I just had to breathe the same air and he would beat the shit out me. Didn't matter if I was a kid or already injured.
I just don't get it! I don't understand!
I don't know how to react, Kagome. I don't know what's expected of me anymore. I mean, I-I don't care what he thinks or—I mean, there's just always been rules, you know! Ever since I was a pup. Rules that he never had to tell me I had to follow, you know. I just knew them. Like, like not touching him o-or saying anything more than just insults during a fight or something or…it was just—stay away and pretend that we aren't related. All I was, what I am supposed to do is fight him and survive. Somehow. That's all. It was easy really. It actually…you know…Kagome, he-he only started paying attention to me after I got Tetsusaiga. Before that, he would show up randomly every few years, beat me up and leave me half-dead…then leave. Maybe insult me a little and remind me again how much he hates me. That was all. And…and that was fine…I guess. It was just the way it was and…and I was used to it. But now…I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore.
Want to know a really messed up thing? Even more messed up than all this other shit? The other day…I…I was eating some ramen and suddenly he was there. Just staring. I was ready to fight… like I was supposed to. But-but all he did was sniff the air a bit and look disgusted. Which really wasn't new! I even though at the time: well finally! Something normal! Now he'll insult me about my filthy half-breed smell. And things…will go back to normal. But he didn't. Kagome. Instead he…he glared at the ramen cup and said: You won't get stronger if you eat such unhealthy foods. Then he walked away. Just…walked away…After telling me to get stronger…
Kagome turned her head and looked deeply into Inuyasha's eyes. For a small moment, she glorified in the openness of those golden irises. They waited for her answer. Though there was so much pain and confusion in them—they so honestly waited. She stared and suddenly, almost savagely, Kagome had hope that that pain would be healed and that confusion answered to.
"No," she said softly. "I don't think Sesshomaru is trying to trick you." I think he is just as lost as you. But something stopped her from adding that last part. It was just a feeling that she couldn't make a grand argument for on how valid it was. Just a feeling that Inuyasha would come to understand his brother soon. Two people lost in a darkened room will surely bump into each other at one point. Maybe even find a light together.
It was a small, desperate hope. More real than what she had so wrongfully assumed was hope in the past, what had prompted her to once lecture Inuyasha about how he should be on good terms with Sesshomaru just because they were brothers. A polite but stupid sentiment that had been eradicated very quickly by Sesshomaru. Like it could be so easy. The relationship between Inuyasha and Sesshomaru was so much more complicated and dark than what she learned about siblings from being with Souta. Yet she still hoped. Even though it infuriated her because Sesshomaru had killed Inuyasha—and he was such a bastard—and he should pay for what he's done!—Kagome still wanted Inuyasha to have his brother and hope too that it wasn't a trick and for things to get better. It was pointless anyway. She could see in those open golden eyes that Inuyasha already hoped. It was a fragile, persistent creature that he couldn't hide completely. She could only pray it wasn't a tragic thing to let the creature still live.
"Really-?"
"Damn it, Sesshomaru-sama!"
The masculine roar cut through Kagome and Inuyasha's quiet moment together, like Tetsusaiga through demon flesh. Immediately, a mask of caution and anger clamped over Inuyasha's features. He surged to his feet with his sword already brandished and ready. "Stay here, Kagome."
"But-!"
He glared down at her. The look of a leader was back. It hardened him and made him older. "Stay," he growled.
Kagome steeled herself and nodded. It took all she had not to run out the barrier as well. If he trusts me, I have to trust him back. But, oh God, I don't trust Sesshomaru…
Inuyasha hurried down the rocky halls. He could still hear the voice that momentarily stumped him on who the person was. "You have no right to change your ways, Lord Sesshomaru! You're killing him!"
Yasuo! The realization dazed him. He hadn't recognized it at first. The voice had never reached such a strained level before. He tried to run faster but it was difficult finding his way through the dark maze. If it wasn't for his demon-enhanced sight, he would have run over Shippo and Rin. They had emerged from another room protected by a barrier, drawn out by the echoes. They were holding hands. It had been Inuyasha himself who had gotten Shippo over his hurt feelings about Rin's so-called "betrayal". All it took was a bop on the head and saying, "Stop ignoring her, brat" and the children were set on the right track towards patching up their relationship. If only other problems Inuyasha was currently trapped in could be solved so easily. He ordered them before either child could ask what was going on. He directed the command to Sango, Nagaharu, and random others behind them.
"Stay! I'll take care of it!"
"But, Inuyasha…you've barely healed…" Nagaharu said softly. The demon had slowly and surely been brought back to good graces, like Rin, because of Inuyasha's return. Before the interruption, Sango had even offered him a cup of tea. But as more yells boomed, Nagaharu's heart clenched with anxiety. He didn't trust Sesshomaru either and would rather have the brothers as far away from each other as possible. That wish would be granted far too soon.
Inuyasha was already gone, voice trailing behind him. "Just stay there, damn it!"
What am I doing? A thought trailed desperately through Inuyasha's mind, echoing breathlessly like the voice he followed. Why am I going there? What am I supposed to do?
The unanswered questions didn't hinder him but motivated him to follow through with this inane decision. Why fight it? He'd already made so many stupid mistakes. What's one more…?
In a long hallway that connected to the cave's entrance, Kasuhama, Kuma, Tomi, Yasuo, Fumina, Gengo, Miroku, and Jinsei had Sesshomaru pinned to a wall. No hands were laid on him but the Daiyoukai had no convenient way around this predicament without relying on violence. Sesshomaru, eyes closed, vein ticking in his forehead, could very well say that he was about past the point where he wanted to forgo sticking his claws into someone. He couldn't explain why he had allowed this treatment of him to go on for so long. It had just seemed warranted of him that he keep quiet and let everyone say their piece. It had been infuriating and his royal blood yearned to show everyone their places but every time he had opened his mouth or gathered poison in his claws, he would notice Inuyasha's scent in the air and be calmed. He couldn't answer for why that was either. It was another unanswerable question to add to his already aggravatingly long list. Why stay here? What good was he doing in hiding Inuyasha? He should be in his shattered kingdom, taking his stance against the Royal Board for their decision to annihilate his brother and to deal with the treason of hiring the enemy. He should be out hunting for Shirabaku's traitorous hide. He should have had better control over himself in that blasted clearing and not have killed Inuyasha or banished these forsaken fools in the first place! Maybe then he wouldn't be in this strange and insulting situation of getting yelled at by even the calm, soft-spoken Yasuo!
Breathe. He reminded himself.
Sesshomaru was not the only one to have had his patience thinned. Yasuo glared forthrightly at his lord's closed off face. His body was trembling from the foreign feeling of rage. It had struck him unexpectedly. He had followed everyone here, knowing already what the destination was. He had taken a similar route as Kagome and had quietly watched since the brothers returned. He also had attempted Inuyasha at conversation, failing spectacularly as expected. But unlike the girl from the future, Yasuo did not have any details about the brothers' relationship. The only thing he knew about the two's interaction was Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's arguments, Sesshomaru's murder of Inuyasha, Inuyasha's rotting sickness from Sesshomaru's poison, and Inuyasha's great sadness from Sesshomaru's treatment. He didn't know about the bewildering kindness Sesshomaru had shown Inuyasha in the woods. He was blinded to the expression that softened Kagome's opinion of the Daiyoukai. All he did understand was this quivering rage. The silence—that godforsaken silence—he was sick and tired of Lord Sesshomaru's refusal to speak! Quietly, Yasuo had watched and listened as countless people tried to get Sesshomaru to promise that Inuyasha would remain safe from him and other assurances, gaining barely a blink in answer. For days, he watched as Inuyasha glanced at the Daiyoukai with caution, hidden alarm, and overwhelming confusion. Morning after morning, Yasuo woke up uneasy, nightmarish images of Inuyasha's potholed stomach staining the back of his eyelids. No more! He was done with being patient and hopeful, done with this false smile on his face, done with tiptoeing carefully around these two blasted stubborn and emotionally retarded inu-brothers!
Everyone stared at him in shock. No one had ever seen Yasuo so heated. Yasuo himself couldn't ever remember the last time he had ever yelled. He'd never even raised his voice on the battlefield. Only Sesshomaru refused to look at him. Being ignored only caused Yasuo to clench his fist.
"Answer me, sir! What are your plans? What are you going to do? Will you force Lord Inuyasha to stay here indefinitely, like some unwanted animal? Tell us your plans. Damn it, tell your brother about what you're going to do next! Please cease this…this…this—whatever it is that you are doing! You are gaining nothing in return!"
No answer. Those royally golden eyes stayed hidden.
Yasuo stepped closer and his throat protested against the bizarre sensation of yelling. "SIR! What are you trying to do to your brother?"
"Nothing!"
The word was harsh but level, much like a short bark. Sesshomaru finally stared at the people with the audacity to corner him. "Nothing," he repeated.
With the echoes of Yasuo's yells gone, the demons became aware of a harsh panting to the right of them. "Nothing?" the new addition growled. Sesshomaru focused his entire attention on the reason for this sudden courageous intervention. The other demons were promptly dismissed from the Daiyoukai's mind.
"Lord Inuyasha…" someone whispered unhelpfully.
Inuyasha too ignored the witnesses. "Nothing?" he said a little louder. Red patches stained his cheeks and grew ruddier from heating emotion. Like an illness, Yasuo's anger deflated and was transferred to the hanyou. "Did you really just say that shit? Is that your reason for what you've done? Nothing?" Inuyasha walked up to his brother, Tetsusaiga dragging behind him and humming in his white-knuckled grip. "No great plan about how you're going to trick me into handing over Tetsusaiga or somehow get blamed for this little war you've abandoned, hmm? No high-and-mighty speech about how I don't deserve even a glance from you and that all of this shit you've pulled was just a way to get back at the filthy bastard half-breed! You're just going to say NOTHING!"
"Inuyasha," Sesshomaru's lips mumbled. He had nothing else to add. The name fell out all on its own. Inuyasha didn't give him a chance to speak anyway.
"SHUT UP! DON'T SAY MY NAME LIKE THAT!"
Inuyasha's fist swung and was calmly caught. Kasuhama and Miroku, on either side, got into attack-ready positions, ready to defend and protect the young lord. Sesshomaru looked down into the pup's eyes, sparkling with golden intensity. Hurt, hurt, anger, but so much hurt—he just couldn't hide it but for some reason Sesshomaru was greatly relieved at the sight. That bizarre and icily emotionless Inuyasha from before was really gone. Somehow the Youkai just knew that this was such a good thing. The pup felt. He reacted to the things Sesshomaru did and said. "Inuyasha," he said again. The reaction was as strong and instantaneous as the first time.
"DON'T!" Inuyasha pushed into the palm holding his fist. Tetsusaiga was still kept to the ground, like the young half-man had just forgotten about it. He punctuated his words with an angry shove. "Don't say my name like that!"
Sesshomaru inhaled a breath and lowered his head closer. This was his chance to find his answers. He hadn't had to search Inuyasha out. Just like that fateful day when Inuyasha stopped the plunge of the knife into Sesshomaru's fallen body, Inuyasha had made the first move. "Why?"
"BECAUSE!" Inuyasha savagely ripped his fist back and cracked open his fingers. He raked his claws towards Sesshomaru's face. Sesshomaru easily dodged it. A feral desire swept through Inuyasha's body and on a terrible whim, Inuyasha actually let go of his sword, wanting more claws in order to tear into that moonlight face. He swiped again and again, not even hearing the clatter of Tetsusaiga and the witnesses' gasps.
"Inuyasha!" Miroku cried out.
The monk's admonishing shout awoke a part of Inuyasha's mind and for a split second, he felt the gnawing emptiness of his sword hand and the unbridled freedom of his demon blood. The loose rationality didn't last long. Not when Sesshomaru was right there in front of him, dodging and seeing him and still saying his name like his name! The edges of his vision grew dark and all he could see was that crescent moon, the stripes, and eyes like his own. The sensation that swamped him felt like he had swallowed a tuning fork. Every breath struck his heart and undulating waves of heat shook through his muscles again and again, repeating with every swipe of his claws and frenzied thought. Babbling pain overwhelmed his mind. Deep in his secret heart, his demon half roared and snarled at the sky, standing over his sobbing human side. He saw it once more: Running in, out of breath, and hearing that damn word. Nothing, the bastard said. He was doing nothing to his brother. He hadn't made Inuyasha's life a living hell, hadn't taken his life with one poisoned strike; hadn't made Inuyasha believe all of his sadistic words. Nothing, nothing, nothing, I am nothing.
The fissure in his heart cracked wider, split apart, and the resounding pressure that had been locked into place broke free…and exploded. It tore him asunder.
Filth.
Filth.
Filth.
I cannot, nor shall I ever, accept aid from the likes of you. You are a blotch upon my father's bloodline. I would rather have accepted death than your help.
I shall be the one to finally rid this world of your stench and your stupidity.
You hurt me!
Once you gain my loyalty, little brother, you will never lose it.
You make it sound as though you, yourself, have sudden worth…Pitiful.
Nothing done by your own doing could succeed in that aim.
You've given up hope.
I never really had it.
Then why am I now! Why am I hoping now? How can I? It was supposed to have died a long time ago!
You don't have to go.
Your decision…
My decision…
Why am I making all these mistakes? Why did I drop Tetsusaiga?
There are some things that you don't do…
NO! I won't help you again!
Why? This was mine! This was my only thing! Why did you break it? WHAT DID I DO TO YOU!
Your weeping will change nothing, half-breed.
Please tell me what I did! What did I do to deserve this!
It was because you looked like father. And because you didn't anymore…it made your death…unacceptable…
Tell me why! Tell me the truth!
It was because you were born, half-breed. That is all you need to understand.
All you need to understand.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
"I AM NOT NOTHING!"
Inuyasha chased after the backpedaling Sesshomaru. The witnesses parted and let them through. They felt stunned and unable to interfere, like always whenever the brothers fought. Some sort of unreal but impenetrable sphere always encircled the brothers—as though nothing else existed but the fractured space between them and their painful, bleeding attempts to cross it and get at each other. And that was how it was this time. Inuyasha kept coming after Sesshomaru, as he always had his entire life. There would always be a childish part of Inuyasha that so desperately wanted to sit at his brother's feet even when he ran the other way, terrified of Sesshomaru's strike. But this time, Sesshomaru's strike did not come. Inuyasha chased and stepped further into the unknown territory between them and Sesshomaru followed his steps move by move. He let Inuyasha strike and kept his eyes and ears riveted on his brother, finally hearing what Inuyasha had always wanted to say. He went where Inuyasha wanted to go, no longer interrupting with insults or fists or steel. He had hurdled that barrier and was now in that territory with the boy, nothing between them but unmapped space. Space that would be filled if Sesshomaru had anything to say about it. He would have his questions answered!
He grabbed Inuyasha's hand again, momentarily entwining their fingers. Veins corded on the backs of both hands. Small bones creaked and strained. Sesshomaru spoke into his brother's madly twitching ear.
"Then what are you?"
Inuyasha's eyes blanked red and squinted with pain at the sound of the deep baritone lacking ice and steely edges. The question was said so simply and it hurt—oh gawd, it hurt to hear it!
"I DON'T KNOW! I don't know anymore! What am I? What am I to you?" He ripped his hand back and there was the unmistakable crack of a broken bone. Inuyasha resumed his attack, adding spinning kicks and further yells of explanation. "You told me I was a hanyou! You said I was filth! You said I was nothing! But I'm not NOTHING! I can't be! I can't be nothing or you wouldn't treat me this way! I have to be something! I have to deserve this somehow!"
Sesshomaru led Inuyasha down the hall, away from unwanted witnesses. Inexplicably, they were allowed to leave. Miroku, Yasuo and the others had their mouths agape, some had their hands lifted in the air. But they were helpless against this. Nothing could stop the pressure and pain of this relationship. Nobody could change it but the demon-men involved. Only Jinsei seemed unaffected. He flicked his tongue and crossed his arms with a satisfied smirk. As soon as the brothers were gone from sight, Miroku awoke from the stupor of seeing Tetsusaiga dropped and tried to jog forward. Jinsei swiftly grabbed his wrist. "Wha—"he grunted when Jinsei tightened his hold.
"We're done here," Jinsei hissed with glee at the madly blinking monk. "Let'ssss just let them settle this for themselvessss…" He smiled as Gengo maneuvered his large girth, Fumina by his side, so that the others would have to get by them to get to Inuyasha and Sesshomaru.
"It'll be for the best." Any attempts to argue were choked on when Jinsei's reptilian features softened. Stunned speechless, they all stood and listened to Inuyasha's echoing words.
"I HAVE TO DESERVE THIS SOMEHOW! Somehow! Somehow…somehow…" Nagaharu and Sango shared a look as they listened. The Taijiya stood up, swinging her boomerang onto her shoulder with determination. Nagaharu quickly grabbed her shoulder before she could leave.
"Let me go."
Her surprise dwindled and she refused. "No."
But Nagaharu would not be deterred by her continued mistrust of him. As unseen as Yasuo's rage, Nagaharu glared and tightened his hand. Sango winced. "Please," Nagaharu hissed. "Let me go see. I won't allow ya to get caught in the crossfire."
Sango looked over his face for some stretched-out moments. Her features softened when she found what she wanted to see. "Fine," she quipped and stepped aside.
Nagaharu grinned in gratitude and left for the cave entrance, where the sounds of scuffling and yelling were coming from.
Again, Sesshomaru somehow managed to get by Inuyasha's swipes and whispered into his ear: "Deserve what?"
Inuyasha spluttered and pushed at his shoulders, gashing him deeply with his claws. It was the first landed hit. Sesshomaru didn't even wince and refused to retaliate like years of honed reflexes wanted.
"You damn well know what! Don't pretend like you don't know! Don't act like it's nothing! IT IS SOMETHING! You treat me like this for a reason!"
"And what reason is that?" Another claw snagged and Sesshomaru's clothing ripped. He still had not replaced the armor he had lost somewhere along this crazy adventure.
A half a minute ticked by as spasms hit Inuyasha's lungs. Not enough oxygen could get in through the anguish and rage clogging his throat. Sesshomaru's inane questions only made this harder! Purple stripes engraved themselves deeper into his cheeks. He hissed in one ragged breath and snarled. With Sesshomaru closer and choosing to stay in range, Inuyasha raked his claws over and over across Sesshomaru's face and chest. Sesshomaru allowed the strikes to land, intent on listening.
"You know the reason! You know why!"
"Why?"
"Because I killed him!"
"Killed who?"
"YOUR PRECIOUS PERSON! I KILLED YOUR PRECIOUS PERSON!"
Inuyasha dug his claws deep into Sesshomaru's cheekbones and shook him once, twice, before pulling him down to eyelevel. "Why are you acting this way! I already know the reason! You told me that! I always understood—I was never confused! I'm a hanyou, I'm filthy, I'm unwanted but goddamnit, I'm not nothing! I can't be nothing! I can't be nothing…!"
Sesshomaru watched with fascination as those fevered eyes that looked so much like his father's grew glassy with tears. "What actions of mine are confusing you, Inuyasha?"
"THIS!" he screamed and his hands shook violently. "THIS! THIS! THIS! Why aren't you hurting me?"
Sesshomaru waited for Inuyasha to gulp another breath. He warred with his instincts for a little longer, denying the desire to calm Inuyasha down.
"Aren't I?" he whispered. "Aren't I hurting you still?"
The red blanked again and then melted away as Inuyasha's face crumpled with grief. A choked whimper made Sesshomaru's shoulders tense. It was the same whimper from the woods—a sound a deeply pained man would make. A sound that seemed incapable of being soothed. Inuyasha wilted and his head hung down.
He made a very little nod.
Sesshomaru pushed forward and rested his bleeding cheek against the pup's hair. His hot breath made those strange ears quiver. "Why?" Finally, the level voice cracked and the barest hint of desperation peeked through. "Why do you let me hurt you?"
Unexpectedly, Inuyasha pushed his temple tighter against Sesshomaru's face. "Because…" so close but so soft, Sesshomaru had to focus hard to hear, "it meant you knew I…existed…"
The two brothers stayed that way, leaning against each other, only breathing. Both bled in different ways. Silence dragged on for a long while and they both struggled to come to terms with what had already been said. Neither knew what they should do in this situation. It was too surreal. Their relationship was never supposed to get to this point. They both had assumed that things would have gone on the same until death found the younger male, leaving the Daiyoukai to live on into the future and soon forget that father's hanyou had ever existed.
Existed… Sesshomaru closed his eyes, weariness pulling the corners tight. It would never be that way now and never would. Sesshomaru had always acknowledged Inuyasha's existence even when he had tried so hard to deny it. His promise to father forced him to. Now it was more. Inuyasha's actions had made it so that Sesshomaru could never forget the boy. Like Rin's decision to bring water to a demon in the forest would keep her memory strong as well. It wouldn't be possible for even a long demonic memory to forget the only people who had ever cherished his life, just the beating of his heart, more than royalty, privilege, or rank. Sesshomaru relished the claws in his face; that pain made more sense to him than the tight pressure in his ribs.
In small, gentle movements, Sesshomaru caressed the tip of his nose against the soft hairs of Inuyasha's puppy ear. The pressure tightened as he mulled restlessly over tangled images and memorized words.
He will also be a prince, my son, and your brother, Sesshomaru. A leader must be one with his kingdom…but his thoughts and deeds should also strive to be higher than petty hatred. My newborn…He will be born, Sesshomaru, and he will exceed any expectations brought against him. He will grow to be strong and will earn the respect others give. And you, my son…You and he will stand next to each other, balanced like his blood. You will be very important to him…and he shall become important to you.
A little bundle who stopped crying as soon as his knuckles brushed against his chin.
A little boy who dared to shout at him for breaking his only toy in the world.
A young orphan who shivered against his fingertips, too far gone in sickness to know he was there.
A young man who never chose to surrender, no matter how many times he was beaten down by a striped hand.
A young warrior who stubbornly clung to father's gift and managed to do first real damage against him with steel.
A hanyou who sat protectively next to his prone form in a human village, still damp and shivering from the snow.
A broken pup who apologized for a crime he didn't commit, sick from another decision to save his life.
A brother he had hurt enough to have a look of such uncontrollable agony just because he showed him a wayward act of affection.
I didn't want gratitude, you bastard. I didn't want anything. I just wanted…I wanted nothing. I wanted you to expect that from me. Be-because I'm your… I made a decision and you hate me for it! Why does it always have to be me? Why do I have to be stupid bastard who does these stupid, stupid things? Why can't it be you? Why? Why? Why can't I just be your brother? Don't worry about it. It wasn't anything. I mean…it was a half-breed who did it, right? I'm not your brother. I'm not…your family. I'm just…A filthy half-breed. So…it was really nothing at all. That's NOT GOOD enough! You don't kill someone because they look like someone else! Not even me… not even…Not even a half-breed. You need to make me hurt! Tell me why! I can't be nothing. I can't be nothing. Right? RIGHT?
Sesshomaru nuzzled the ear very carefully, trying not to make the action too obvious lest Inuyasha react badly to it. He'd hurt Inuyasha so well. He'd broken Inuyasha down so completely that underneath all that bravado and callousness was this trembling tirade of emotion still clenched into his cheekbones. How horribly ironic that after all these years of wanting to destroy Inuyasha, he discovered the best way after coming to realize that he didn't want to strike anymore. Slowly, Inuyasha's claws pulled out of flesh and curled into his palms; they rested against the Daiyoukai's flayed open cheeks. Inuyasha kept his head bowed, shoulders slumped. Sesshomaru's eyelids tightened. The pulled out claws was the indication of a never-before-seen occurrence.
Inuyasha's surrender.
It took many minutes for Sesshomaru moved incredibly slow and measured, testing Inuyasha for a negative reaction, but the hanyou stayed motionless and quiet even after a single arm inched around him. Soft fingertips, so capable of deadly poison, pushed firmly and painlessly on the space between Inuyasha's shoulder blades. It wasn't intended to move him. Knowing full well of his foolishness, Sesshomaru only savagely wished that the fingertips were enough to keep any more of his brother from falling apart.
"I don't understand either, Inuyasha," he whispered very low. He didn't specify what he didn't understand. Whatever Inuyasha chose was probably the correct one anyway; there was so much confusion surrounding them. Neither knew what they were supposed to do. All Sesshomaru could decide was keeping his fingertips supportive and to say one simple thing to that soft appendage:
"But you have never been 'nothing'. I have lied to you for far too long."
Inuyasha's breathing hitched but it seemed that the previous emotional outburst had taken too much energy from him. He sagged a little more against Sesshomaru, the cold flesh of his cheek resting against the pillar of Sesshomaru's throat. "Shit. This is so messed up…I don't know what to do…what do you want from me?" Those warm fingertips splayed out into a palm and Sesshomaru took on more and more of Inuyasha's weight, taking on more of the burden the boy had been carrying for far too long.
I do not know. Sesshomaru thought in answer. I am not supposed to want anything from you. Father's face came into his head then, along with the final thing he ever saw of that former Daiyoukai leader: Lord Touga's back as he looked out towards the sea, blood dripping from his side.
"Father spoke highly of you," he said suddenly to the pup's erect ears. "He had great dreams about your life and what you would accomplish. I have never told you…but there was a time when your mother lived in the homeland."
Inuyasha stiffened and sharply pulled back; Sesshomaru's hand kept him from going too far. "What!" he hissed in shock. Inuyasha blinked rapidly at the damage he had wrought on his brother's face. Without Tetsusaiga there to guide or calm his demonic spirit, quivering instincts flared alive and free. Only Inuyasha's befuddled human half made him hesitate on the want to lick the bleeding gashes or whimper for forgiveness from the superior he had, in the canine world, acted greatly out of turn with. The confliction made Inuyasha all the more disoriented. He'd nearly had a full-out breakdown a minute ago and was now freakishly close to the perpetrator of it. What had happened? When had this happened? How could one decision change so much and so quickly, like a snowball turning into an avalanche? Was that, this, even supposed to be possible?
Will it all change back just as quickly?
But Inuyasha's unvoiced questions were thought too soon. If the change in the brothers' relationship was an avalanche, it was barely to the bottom of the mountain.
Sesshomaru spoke in that same strange tone. Strange for Inuyasha because never before had he heard that voice be gentle. "Father brought her home as soon as he knew the child was his…though he probably would have regardless of the pregnancy. Your mother ensnared his affections quite completely. Only the thought of you could rival with her. Her stay was short, merely a few months, but it was a very dangerous time. There were countless assassination attempts."
"Any by you?" Inuyasha tried for dryness, but his words came out brittle and sore. He was morbidly fascinated by the almost imperceptible softening of Sesshomaru's facial structure. It looked odd, even without the healing rips of skin and blood clumps.
"No."
Inuyasha stiffened again by the answer and because Sesshomaru chose then to nuzzle around his ear once more, shuffling Inuyasha's bangs into further disarray. Inuyasha's senses screamed to get away, even when his starved heart yearned for the contact. The disorientation brought on by the situation and Kagome's remembered words—No, I don't think Sesshomaru is trying to trick you—kept the hanyou rooted to the spot. In a sort of masochistic way, Inuyasha wanted to stay and see this through, no matter where it went. It was Sesshomaru's power over him after all; Inuyasha always listened when he spoke.
Sesshomaru ignored the pup's frozen immobility. Inuyasha's hair was surprisingly downy. Puppy fur. "I wished to do so," he admitted softly, "but father protected you and your mother fervently. He returned her to her village only when the contractions of labor began. Father did not trust the homeland nurses and instead left your mother with the few women who remained loyal to her. The birthing process for a half-breed is long, painful, and dangerous. Father wished to stay but news that Ryuukotsusei had invaded the outskirts of the homeland was previously reported and he knew his duty as Alpha protector came first for his people."
Sesshomaru paused, falling away into dark memory. "He did not inform me of his leaving," he whispered, "I was not there to aid him in the battle. He sealed his enemy as quickly as he could and returned grievously injured. I stopped him on a shoreline just short of where your mother's human court resided. I demanded for Tetsusaiga, for power, uncaring to the amount of blood I scented on him. He refused me…he always…refused me." Sesshomaru's hand dipped into the folds of Inuyasha's suikan and tightened into a fist. "I wanted to hinder him. Again, I tried to bring him to his senses. A human and a hanyou were not worth all those looks, whispers, even riots from his subjects. This…love he claimed…was not worth it. The path of conquest, I told him, was all that mattered. Power."
An intake of breath.
"It was our last conversation. He ran into the flames. I felt Tenseiga's power in the air and soon saw your mother run out with the fire-rat you wear upon her head and a bundle in her arms. Father remained…and the building collapsed. I watched it all. I expected him to walk out. A mere fire could not dispel the life of a Daiyoukai. Later, I searched through the rubble and for a moment assumed that he lived. There was no corpse, no bones. Just a piece of his robes, the scent of blood and death heavy upon it. I found Myouga and Totosai not far from the wreckage. They informed me of father's true death and that his gravesite, and his Tetsusaiga, was forever hidden from me. It took many decades before I discovered the location was hidden in the pearl lodged in your eye. For long decades, I only had that miniscule piece of cloth as evidence of father's demise."
He took another pause, feeling an empty peace in the rhythm of their shared breathing. Somewhere along the way he and Inuyasha's lungs had fallen into sync. Inuyasha's fists were resting lightly on his collarbones; cheek having found its place against his throat once more, thrumming from the vibrations of Sesshomaru's impromptu speech. Without seeing his face, Sesshomaru was clueless to the boy's reaction. He took the silence as a request to continue.
"Did you know Inuyasha…" he watched as Inuyasha's ear flicked from his breath, "that I was the only one who survived in the litter? All the other pups, my brothers and sisters, died in the womb or a few hours after. I was the only one who survived but I too was weak. They all believed I would die. You were not like me, Inuyasha. You were born strong and loud. Your first cry filled my ears and haunted me long after I left you and your mother at the village you spent your first few years of life in."
Sesshomaru listened to the slow filling of Inuyasha's lungs, a sign of dawning comprehension and surprise. "I knew it," Inuyasha said gruffly, quietly, "You were watching…"
Sesshomaru nodded his head in affirmation, understanding what Inuyasha meant. "I watched for many years as you grew up. There were times when I lost track of you, such as when you were sealed to that holy tree, but, yes…you were correct at our first meeting."
Y-You….I know you…the child Inuyasha had first said.
The Daiyoukai's fist tightened into Inuyasha's clothing when he felt the tremors begin to build again beneath the fabric and skin. Inuyasha's fists opened and came around Sesshomaru's neck, claws pricking in warning of growing ire. "Y-you watched…the…the whole time…you were actually there, watching, when all…a-all that shit happened? When-when they beat me and…and tried to shoot me with arrows and when they tried to poison me with c-candy or broke i-into the house after mother died and…and-!"
Sesshomaru turned his head to nose beneath Inuyasha's jaw, not sure whether he was placating or seeking forgiveness.
"I warned them not to touch you…but I was not always there to remind them."
The trembling increased and the claws dug deeper. "They came in! And they almost—they burned m-me and almost ripped my ears o-out—and they almost, almost-!" Whatever it was that the human villagers had almost did, it was too dark for Inuyasha to say aloud. "I was too l-little and mother told me ne-never to hurt—b-but I…I woke up and there, the-here…was blood…everywhere…
AND YOU WATCHED!"
Sesshomaru had to jerk back before the claws in his neck could pull out his jugular or esophagus. Demonic fury swept Inuyasha into another unmitigated tirade. Red youki literally erupted around him and surged through the air.
"How could you!" Inuyasha shouted in an unearthly timbre. Sesshomaru was surprised when Inuyasha did not run forward but stalked in measured steps. His broken fingers healed nastily and then cracked anew with the force of his clenching. "I didn't do anything to you! I tried so hard, damn it, I tried so hard to follow your damn rules and get stronger! There were so many times when I almost sliced my own neck just to get it over with but then I would remember you and—and I had to prove you WRONG! I had to prove to you that I was important! That I was worth more than what you and everyone else did to me! What you SAID to me!"
The youki flared brighter, hotter and Sesshomaru once more felt the energy that had made him nearly fearful all that time ago when Totosai had to blow fire between them and knock Inuyasha out. This was father's blood. A royal spirit that was almost too powerful for muscle and bone. How terrifying it was. Sesshomaru could remember when it first broke out completely from him under the full moon, he still too young to control it. The sensation had been excruciatingly overwhelming, like thrusting a child into a warzone, and only father's presence and his nips and growls pulled him back to balance.
Inuyasha had no one.
The blood was duller than Sesshomaru's, and the experience perhaps less terrible in comparison, but Sesshomaru had no doubt that Inuyasha suffered without a stable guidance. All that time to feel the pull of the moon and nothing to keep him back. And what had kept Inuyasha back? What had kept Inuyasha from becoming a manic monster for good? Half-breeds were rare but of the ones Sesshomaru had seen and heard tale of, Inuyasha was the only one who was relatively steady and sane.
It was obvious, really.
Inuyasha had to be his own guide, his own link back to a world that wasn't ruled entirely by wild sensation. Sesshomaru himself had made sure that no one was there for the orphan. It shouldn't come as a shock that Inuyasha had taught himself how to hunt, make shelter, fight, and stay sane, and survive. Yet it still struck Sesshomaru right in the painful pressure in his ribcage.
Inuyasha's voice steadily grew rougher and more unintelligible. This was the last vestige of his control and his human blood's influence. "But there was nothing I could do, right? Nothing I can do to make you think differently of me! Not even saving your measly hide TWICE! Nothing I did mattered! NOTHING! NOTHING! A half-breed is unwanted and weak, a taint…unworthy to be called family…filth, filth. Everything that has happened is because of that—because of what I am!" The pain grew worse when Sesshomaru recognized many of the words he had repeatedly told his brother over the years, the lessons he had "taught" so magnificently. He watched, agonized but weary, as Inuyasha gripped his head with bloody and poorly healed fingers and repeated Sesshomaru's lessons over and over from heart until they rippled into canine yowls of grief.
Sesshomaru closed his eyes one last time, to have a moment to compose from the sight of Inuyasha breaking further. He hadn't expected this. He was barely reoriented within himself from the epiphanies he had come to these past days. Dealing with so much change and so quickly surely could not be healthy, wise, or even comprehensible. But, Sesshomaru mused briefly, two hundred years had passed without any change. Quite enough.
His golden eyes flashed when they opened and then spilled red. His markings grew more pronounced.
"Inuyasha," he growled in an older tongue.
The pup immediately went still.
Like a draft sucking smoke out of a room, the red youki around Inuyasha vanished. He blinked unsurely.
Sesshomaru repeated himself.
"Inuyasha."
A painful gasp and Inuyasha looked up, looked at him with red-rimmed orbs, and took a step back. His hands inched up to his ears.
Sesshomaru drawled it out smooth and long, beautiful notes rumbling up from his throat. "Inuyasha."
Those hands immediately clamped down on the puppy ears. Inuyasha paid no mind to the pain. He crushed the delicate appendages to his skull, went so far as to grind his heels when Sesshomaru said his name once more. He made a canine whimper of protest, momentarily unable to speak human words. He did not move when Sesshomaru stepped closer; the pup's eyes wide and steadily growing more gold.
"You have never heard your name in the true language of our homeland," Sesshomaru said gently. "Father gave it to you. It is a name that embodies our clan, our history, our home."
He leaned down one last time to Inuyasha's bowed head and repeated the name.
"Inuyasha."
Instantly, Inuyasha was gripped again with an overwhelming force of need. Tears welled up in fierce torrents of pressure, leaking out before he could stop them or even realize they had gathered. He lowered one hand to cover his mouth in an attempt to stifle hiccupping globs of air from becoming sobs. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. It was like he had never experienced his name before. A sudden and inexplicable part of him immediately quieted, having now been named and brought into complete existence. His knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor. Any sort of humiliation he felt was swallowed in the glorious feeling of being seen, being heard, being answered to and acknowledged and appreciated all rolled into one word. One name. He blinked through his tears when he felt warmth on his cheek, pulling his face up. Stunned, he looked at Sesshomaru on his knees as well, at his level. Inuyasha couldn't fathom his expression—it seemed pained and fond at the same time. Sesshomaru's hand traveled up and touched the pup's crumpled ear. Inuyasha's knee-jerk reaction was to tense up and wait for pain but nimble fingers pulled and smoothed with incredible softness, somehow even easing the acute discomfort of having been squashed.
"Did you hear it, Inuyasha? All that your name represented? It's all the best of our blood from the simple days of old. Moonlight trapped in the veins of leaves, running beneath a wide sky without a destination, singing and singing about the wide world and our beloved pack-mates." Inuyasha shivered when he said his name again in that gorgeous way and he did hear it; he even saw it behind his eyelids. The freedom.
Sesshomaru barely skimmed his fingertips over the fuzz of Inuyasha's ear, going through great lengths not to harm it further. These were one of the inconsequential things that fascinated him about Inuyasha. The pup didn't protest when he lightly slipped under his opposite hand and did the same treatment to the other one.
Inuyasha.
Dog-demon. It was elegantly simple, obvious but proud.
A free spirit of the forest.
"It is a gift from father I should have given you long ago."
Inuyasha, sniffling, managed not to lean into the tender caresses of his ears. "I…I still don't trust you," he whispered gravely, "I…this is going too fast. I can't keep up."
Sesshomaru didn't answer for a time. Once he deemed Inuyasha's ears properly dealt with, he resolutely ensnared one of Inuyasha's hands and inspected the finger bones which had snapped in the whirlwind of emotion. The fluctuation of demon blood had sped up the healing process and there was nothing more Sesshomaru needed to do. He heard Inuyasha swallow and the pup took back his hand, keeping his head lowered and vigorously wiping his eyes with a sleeve. Sesshomaru stopped the action, fingers clamping onto the fabric again. "You will be surprised to hear this, Inuyasha, and you will not believe me. But I do not fault you for this weeping. It expresses how deeply father's blood runs in your veins that you can feel the simple power of your name. Feel no shame."
"Don't," Inuyasha snapped breathily. "Don't…say anything more…"
The only hand he possessed curled around the nape of Inuyasha's neck and applied light pressure. Inuyasha was too weary to lash out against it. An exhale whooshed out of him and briefly, at least, Inuyasha selfishly reveled in the quiet of his mind brought on by the Inu-Youkai hold. Sesshomaru inspected the calm expression on the pup's face and then freely placed his forehead on Inuyasha's crown.
This was what he wanted—the realization dawned slow and calm. He wanted this contact and this peace. He wanted to continue feeling this deep assurance in his core that made him imagine his father smiling in pride. He wanted to know how Inuyasha had survived for so long, what tricks he had come to learn, and he wanted to continue this, whatever it is, that had set Inuyasha nearly toppling over the edge. Sesshomaru knew it hurt him and confused him but could tell from the way the pup discreetly shuffled closer to his warmth that there was a healing in this as well. Maybe it would take another two hundred years for there to be no more suspicion or paranoia about his intentions. But he could do it. It just wasn't in him to do anything else anymore.
He would put the pieces he had ripped apart back together again.
"I will not demand anything from you, little brother. Do not trust me,"—for I have broken that ability out of you—or forgive him because Sesshomaru was not certain if he needed that, "but accept at least one thing: Your life will be protected from now on."
Inuyasha sucked in a breath and then slowly pulled away. Sesshomaru was reluctant to release his hold and felt nearly despondent when Inuyasha rubbed the back of his neck in quick erasing swipes. The pup didn't say anything. He just looked very, very tired. Releasing his breath on a world-weary sigh, Inuyasha spared him one glance that said too much to be understood and rose to his feet. He left Sesshomaru kneeling on the floor and shuffled out in the direction of the cave entrance. The message was clear, like the pulled-in claws from earlier: Rejection.
He stayed on his knees and remembered their last confrontation. Inuyasha's words as he also rubbed his face back then:
I won't forgive you. I won't trust you. NEVER! I won't fall for it. I won't.
Perhaps he needed it after all.
Nagaharu stopped for breath. He had taken an opposite route, a longer one, which coincidentally did not go past Gengo, Fumina, and the others. It had been a whimsical decision to go this way and he berated himself for it. He lectured himself about many things, having come to hate himself since allowing Sesshomaru through the barrier nearly two weeks before. He was relieved that it was proven to him and everyone else that the decision had wrought positive consequences. Inuyasha was back and healed.
But it also could have gone so wrong…
That possibility haunted Nagaharu.
He leaned against the wall, momentarily overwhelmed by his inner conflict and the sudden quiet of the caves. Only the missing scent of death kept Nagaharu from panicking. Taking in one last breath, he made to move…
A whimpered protest, muffled and weak, stopped him.
He turned to the entrance and peered through the pink wall.
He gasped.
"Ukyou?"
It had been meticulously planned that it would all come to head this bitter morning.
Ukyou tensed in palpable excitement as foolish Nagaharu approached him with wide eyes. He swallowed his smirk and instead moaned in pain. Unfortunately, the pain was not really faked. Shirabaku had ordered for authenticity, the bastard, and Ukyou was crumpled on the rocky ledge with bruises and blood from shallow cuts (how merciful) covering his skin. He crawled towards the miko barrier and lifted a hand pleadingly. The barrier was not easily seen from outside and it truly had taken too long for them to find this hiding place.
But that demon barrier from earlier, the one Shirabaku had been fascinated with, had given them away. Really, after believing and following Shirabaku's hunch that the barrier was Sesshomaru's, the mountain that was so near was freakishly obvious.
Soon, Ukyou cackled in his head. Just a little more…
"Ukyou! What—how did ya—ya'll hurt!" Nagaharu, that simple dunce, always a bleeding heart, fell to his knees right on the other side of pink. His eyes roamed over Ukyou's injuries, his black eye and split lip, with heightening concern.
"H-Haru," Ukyou whined the nickname, "you…you need to escape…" He risked touching the barrier, acting like he was reaching for the Youkai man, and winced from the purifying power sparking through his nerves.
"Ukyou! No, uh, don't touch that! I…what happened to ya? How did ya know I was here?"
Fake tears so easily filled his eyes. "Ge-General Shirabaku…he knows you're here. He found out everything, even who you a-are and I…oh, Haru, I'm sorry…he found me. He was going to use me as bait but I escaped and…Haru, you need to get out of here! They're coming! They're coming to get Inuyasha! They'll kill you if you stay! They'll k-kill e-everyone….ooooh…" Nagaharu's hands swiftly rose up when Ukyou hunched over his aching stomach and groaned.
"Ukyou! Ukyou! Are-are you sure? Are—no, don't move anymore, Ukyou! Ya'll bleeding!"
With his face hidden, Ukyou smirked. Time to kick it up a notch. He shuttered a heart-wrenching gasp, one that would certainly wrench Nagaharu's heart, and started coughing. Bloody spittle dripped to the rocks. "Ha-Haru…please…" Cue dramatic collapse.
As expected, Nagaharu gasped and shot to stand. "Ukyou! No! Wait, wait, I'll help ya! Just—wait right there! I'll, I'll, uh, oh damn it!" The hesitation did not last long and Ukyou felt the barrier waver as one ofuda out of two was ripped down. The soldiers in hiding shifted in anticipation; he could hear the rocks creaking. He peered up through his dark bangs and watched as Nagaharu, that idiot, dashed to the other ofuda. Just to make things better, Inuyasha—that disgusting piece of hanyou filth!—walked in. Ukyou gave him an evil leer.
"No…WAIT!"
Too late.
Inuyasha had walked forward towards the entrance. His hands rubbed his arms, wiped his chest, clenched his nape, and scrubbed his face in continuous shifts. The movement attempted to distract his mind from any more thinking. His eyes stared blankly ahead. The quick eruption of his long-carried emotional pressure had left him with the impression of being empty. But that wasn't completely true. He was numb. And under that numbness was something that had grown bigger and stronger. Warmer. It frightened him, though it was something that wasn't meant to hurt in normal circumstances. Still, he refused to analyze it and kept stroking his skin.
He turned the corner and froze in shock when he witnessed Nagaharu rip down an ofuda. His gaze flickered to the bleeding lump on the other side. He recognized the hanyou-hating friend of the Gang's and blinked at the sudden lifting of those lips.
"No…WAIT!"
Nagaharu spun at his shout but the remaining ofuda was already in his fingers and it ripped down from the momentum of his turn. The barrier disappeared. Ukyou's cackle startled them both and then chaos ensued.
One voice flittered through Inuyasha's mind before he was swung into battle without a sword.
Your life will be protected from now on.
His yell echoed once more.
"SESSHOMARU!"
Sesshomaru was already running. He had felt the collapse of energy and the swarm of scent. At the shout of his name, never before heard outside of a fight between them, a stunning shot of panic clenched his chest. Panic. When had he ever felt panic?
"KASUHAMA!" he roared in turn. Right as the tunnel lightened, his senses were overwhelmed from the sound of growls, the smell of sweat and blood, and attacks on all sides from black blurs. All he had was Tenseiga. These bastards had stolen his only other effective weapon. Tenseiga could not cut but it defended him as it never had before, causing a small blue barrier when someone got too close to the side where it was strapped. It worked on its own again but Sesshomaru paid no mind. There was time to deal with Tenseiga's free will later. He parried with his only hand with poison whips and golden swathes of energy. One, two, three down but more kept coming. He snarled at faces of demon-men that had once been his to command, his subjects. Many he recognized from the fight that had nearly cost him his life. He cut through them to get to the only one who thought to save him, who had saved him. He watched as Inuyasha, unarmed, made an impressive feint-dodge which gained him the use of a curved knife after he broke the arm of the wielder. Inuyasha spun to him and on an unspoken understanding, they moved back to back. They used each other instinctively, like they had fought together for years. They even locked arms and Sesshomaru spun Inuyasha so he could kick and strike with his new weapon at the soldiers who surrounded them. Once back to his feet, Inuyasha noticed that help had arrived.
An arrow, glowing hot and fiery pink, narrowly missed his cheek and struck the face of an enemy inching too close.
"Oi, Kagome! Watch where you're aiming that thing!"
Kagome scowled at him while cocking another arrow. "You should show some appreciation! I was aiming, thank you very much! Just admit that I've gotten better already!"
Inuyasha smirked, and Kagome smiled to herself as well, but they quickly got back into the fight. Sango fought through to get closer. "What happened!" Sango yelled. "How did they find us?"
"How did they get in?" Tomi asked as well, having run in with the group who had cornered Sesshomaru before. Miroku carried Tetsusaiga but was blocked at every turn from giving it back.
Kasuhama eyed the attack with the eyes of a command leader and a seasoned warrior. Without any forethought of Sesshomaru's presence, he barked commands for the sixteen soldiers who had pledged their loyalty and protection to a hanyou. Sesshomaru glanced at his ex-second-in-command and briefly nodded to himself, appreciative of the control and order. More of the enemy fell.
The only downside was that more kept coming.
"Damn it!" Like many significant, terrifying moments, it happened in slow motion. Inuyasha blocked an attack and couldn't help but leave an opening. Sesshomaru saw it, could say nothing, as ten pairs of arms and legs soared towards him. He only had one chance. Gritting his teeth, Sesshomaru foolishly and consciously denied all his training and simply barged through the bodies with only brute strength. Steel and claws gripped his flesh and tore it. It was worth it as he reached out and grabbed the arrow before it could sink into his brother's shoulder.
Inuyasha screamed anyway.
It died in a sharp gasp as he was pulled sharply to the ground. Bodies fell onto Sesshomaru's shoulders, weighing him down and preventing him from stopping the progression as the thickly barbed arrow in Inuyasha's calf pulled him to the rocky ledge.
Sesshomaru was a silent killer but his inner Youkai roared in outrage as a blast of youki and movement destroyed the grasp of his enemy. He lunged forward and gripped Inuyasha's hand right as his body was slowly lifted from the ground. The cable was taunt and metallic and he only had one blasted arm!
"Kasuhama!" he shouted, eyes intent on his brother's pained face as his calf muscles were lacerated.
"Yes-AH!" A wave of insurgent soldiers, the final unit who had waited patiently for the right moment, leapt through the cave and pushed any help back. Cries of agony and the scent of ended life filled the small area. Sesshomaru could not see it but Inuyasha's eyes were wide as he watched over the elder's shoulder. They soon squeezed shut as the line pulled harshly. Bone cracked. Sesshomaru swiftly ran forward to give it slack and gripped further up at Inuyasha's elbow. Both of his brother's hands grasped his arm; claws welcomingly dug deep. Sesshomaru thought quickly. No one could get to them. He would have to let Inuyasha go and try to snap the line before he was pulled away. But no doubt the line was thick with properties that would make it difficult for poison or claws to sever, something Shirabaku would have no doubt considered and utilized. There was the option of severing Inuyasha's limb—an idea he quickly dismissed as a last resort. He would not wish such a disability on anyone, not even the one who had done it to him. His arm would grow back. A hanyou would not recover that way.
Quickly, he had to come to a decision.
Inuyasha interrupted his thoughts.
"Sesshomaru," he said through gritted teeth. "They're dying…"
"I will bring them back!" Sesshomaru snapped.
"But Rin…Shippo…"
"They are safe behind your miko's magic."
"Sesshomaru…"
"I will not let them take you." The words snapped again with cold determination. Inuyasha's mouth was left parted in shock. Golden eyes, one of the few who shared that trait with him, flickered over his face in wonderment.
"Is that so, Sesshomaru? You certainly have changed the last few weeks."
Sesshomaru's eyes grew red and he growled. "Shirabaku…"
The Youkai-man came down into view, riding on the back of a dragon of a similar status to Ah-Un. A dumb, lower-level creature served best for this purpose of riding. Of course, Shirabaku would find some way to gain the transportation often reserved for royalty only. Inuyasha winced from the new angle of the line. Shirabaku sat cockily, the hand holding to the end of Inuyasha's tether lying leisurely on his knee. "Hello, Sesshomaru, Inuyasha. It's good to see you again. I have been looking everywhere."
"Release him, Shirabaku!"
"Now why would I do that? We have an appointment to keep."
The growl grew louder at his smile.
"Now, now, I am sorry about the treatment. Rest assured that Inuyasha will return to the homeland in one piece. Your Royal Board recently received a report about Inuyasha's…surprising ability and are eager to meet him."
"What the hell are you talking about, you bastard!" Inuyasha craned his neck to look back. He was punished with another pull at his leg.
Shirabaku nodded at the blood trickling from Inuyasha's calf. "Your sudden newfound healing capabilities, pup. The news of a cure has caused quite a stir. But you wouldn't know any of that, Sesshomaru, since you have abandoned your post as Alpha. You really chose a bad time to take a vacation in this quaint little wolves' den."
The brothers looked at each other as they comprehended this information. They know? Inuyasha couldn't read Sesshomaru's expression but he got the hint that this wasn't good.
"What do you want, Shirabaku?" Sesshomaru practically hissed, eyes intent on Inuyasha.
"Oh?" Shirabaku tilted his head. "Are you actually suggesting a trade? For the brother you denied even existed? Something interesting must have happened when we were parted…judging from the lingering scent of hanyou in your system, I think I can hazard a guess. Want to keep the cure all to yourself, is that it? Not very selfless, dear Inu-no-Taisho."
"I will not let you take him."
"Yes, yes, as you said." The rebel leader snapped his fingers and immediately the weight returned to Sesshomaru's back. Arms grabbed him everywhere, curling around his chest and legs; they pulled and Sesshomaru felt the back of his heels lifting. He clenched his jaw and did his best to shake them off, snapping his jowls at them, all the while struggling to keep his hold of Inuyasha. Inuyasha tried to help. He shot blades of blood at the ones who got close enough to try and wrench them apart. He heard Kagome call his name. From behind Sesshomaru, surrounded by freshly fallen bodies and countless insurgents, the jewel-hunting gang and grave-robbing gang watched in horror. They all were injured in some way. Nagaharu had tears running down his scratched up cheeks. Miroku, Tetsusaiga still held in his hands, tried to get past but was knocked back to the floor with terrible force.
"Inuyasha!"
That was Sesshomaru.
He looked—at the trembling striped hand, at flashing amber eyes, striped cheeks still healing from his claws. So fierce and impassioned, Inuyasha had seen more emotion on that face in the last month than he had for the last two hundred years. All caused by him, for him, good and bad.
"Do not let go, Inuyasha, or I will—"the threat, for of course Sesshomaru would threaten him, was cut off when arms snaked around his throat and squeezed. Inuyasha stared, feeling strangely numb again, though his leg pulsed with painful heat. He won't quit, he suddenly thought. Sesshomaru would keep holding on…and Inuyasha knew he shouldn't. Not when a childish cry hit his ears and he saw over Sesshomaru's shoulder that Sesshomaru was wrong, the barrier did not protect Rin and Shippo because most likely they had stupidly ran to the fight, convinced they could help. Fumina was backhanded as she tried to rescue Rin from the rebel soldier's grip. Shippo was already unconscious from a strike Inuyasha missed and he was being quickly cradled by Gengo's large hands. Rin…Inuyasha didn't know when Rin had started following Sesshomaru or why the Daiyoukai had allowed it for so long. But Inuyasha's heart could recognize that she was a precious person to him. She had become one long before this strange change in their relationship that had Sesshomaru showing awkward acts of affection and dramatic claims of protection to him, the hanyou brother. She had to be saved. They all had to be saved. And only Sesshomaru was strong enough to do it.
If he had his arm back…
"Sesshomaru…" something in his tone warned the Daiyoukai and his grip tightened in anger.
"Don't," his snarl muffled from the tugs on his Adam's apple, "Do not submit, Inuyasha. FIGHT!"
Something panged in his chest, from that large warm thing hidden under the numbness. Telling him to fight, protecting him; still holding on even as the strengths on both sides pulled them to the point that only fingers grasped each other. It was such a wonderfully terrible thing. Suddenly, Inuyasha wondered when he would see this again. Because he knew Sesshomaru would chase after him, and he felt a pang again from how sure he was, but he wondered how long it would take. In his strange state of mind, he whimsically rolled with it and fought against the pain to momentarily pull himself closer to his brother's strained face.
"You have to find me before the New Moon, Sesshomaru," he said in a low tone. Sesshomaru blinked rapidly, showing his confusion and confliction as his fingers slipped further and Rin cried out again. Desperation quickly claimed Inuyasha and it sweetened his voice. "Please, brother, before the New Moon!"
Sesshomaru's shock at hearing the plea heightened from Inuyasha's decision….to let go. Sesshomaru made one maddened attempt at catching his fingers but sweat and blood and the missing support of callused fingertips made it so Inuyasha's slack hand slipped through. Frighteningly quick, Inuyasha slammed at rock and was pulled up, upside down, to the dragon back. Inuyasha at least fought against Shirabaku but a blow to the head dazed him.
Sesshomaru exploded into a black and red tirade at the sight. The unfortunate fools who sadistically pulled but allowed the brothers final conversation met a nasty death from spinning claws and transforming fangs. Inuyasha watched with blurry eyes as Sesshomaru's body ripped into his full form in the small entranceway. Instinctively honoring what Inuyasha so obviously wished, Sesshomaru killed all of the insurgents left in the cave in quick precision. Rin tumbled to the ground. Miroku, Sango, Kasuhama, Yasuo, and the other survivors used their newfound freedom to run to the ledge. Snarling and howling, Sesshomaru pulled his body out, cracking stone from his girth. Only the claws already pricking Inuyasha's throat made him hesitate. That…and Inuyasha's strangely calm expression. His eyes glowed warmly and there seemed to be a soft upward tilt to his mouth. Did the pup not realize the danger he was in!
Dizzily, for the blow to his skull had not been kind, Inuyasha mumbled, "Brother…"
And he knew, with a suddenly wild peace. In the haze of pain at his head, throat, and leg, Inuyasha heard Shirabaku growl, "No more dawdling, Sesshomaru" and the dragon rose into the air. As warm blood caressed down the back of his neck, Inuyasha knew and a raw wound in his heart slowly healed as he listened to the answering howl to the sky.
"Survive, Inuyasha! I will find you! I will save you, little brother!"
Inuyasha knew he would never forget. And he swam under into unconsciousness with his hand still tingling from Sesshomaru's desperate hold.
Author's Note: Before you ask, I know that Nagaharu shouldn't be able to pull off an ofuda since he's a full demon. But I already messed with the barriers and claimed that they could be "programmed" to allow certain auras through and keep others, like Sesshomaru for example, out. Let's just pretend that the ofuda was "programmed" to allow Nagaharu to pull it off.
Also, I am deeply sorry about the pacing of this chapter. I had a lot of difficulty with it and it fought with me the whole way. I wanted to show that two weeks had passed without wasting time on explaining everything that had happened. Also, also, I suppose Sesshomaru is considerably OOC now, something I detest doing, but I tried to explain it away with this whole "epiphany" angle. Whatever your opinion, I hope you liked the chapter!