Announcement About Future Updates (Um. Wrong time. DEFINITELY wrong time...)

Vault (This is the gateway to making more Nintendo characters appear in Smash! Climb aboard, everyone!)

Masterpiece (Ice Climbers... MASTERPIECE?!?! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!)

Iwata Asks (Sakurai: Icicle Mountain comes back again! I'm sure everyone is going to enjoy it! (laughs) Iwata: As do I, Sakurai-kun. (laughs) )

Lucario (Real update.)

Captain Falcon (Real update yet again. But... FALCON PUNCH!!!!!!!!)

Assist Trophy (This is a Assist Trophy. Yay.)

"Ok... I have an announcement, everyone!" the unknown man was Sakurai! A huge audience clapped and cheered for Sakurai... At least, the tape recorder did. The audience were: Mario, Samus, Link, Pikachu, Kirby???, Iwata, a Waddle Doo, a Metroid couple, and a pixelated Goomba. All were forced, some from Masterpieces.

"First of all, Master Hand here..." Sakurai pointed next to him. "Well, let's just say I hosted updates 'up until now'. Sakurai sniffed.

"Why?" called out Iwata, president of Nintendo.

"Well... Its just that..." Sakurai had a stream a tears falling down. "NO ONE EVEN KNOWS SMASH'S VERY OWN CREATOR!!!" Sakurai wailed for a long thirty minutes, the audience staring at him. "... Ahem... Sorry about that..." Sakurai wiped his eyes. "Anywho, I was just kidding!" the audience groaned. Apparently, they were happy about the Master Hand announcement. "The REAL announcement is... The future updates are gonna be secret!!!!"

There were two claps, nothing else. "Ahem... CLAP OR I'LL MAKE YOU A CLONE!" everyone clapped and cheered. Sakurai made motions to lower the noise. "Thank you! Thank you! Anyway..." His smile now turned grim.

"The assist trophies has gone mad. They have hacked into the Smash Brothers files. They've been found the weaknesses to all of our smashers!" The audience gasped.

"They're even bringing back the original Smash Brothers polygons!" Suddenly, Mario turned into Smash64 Mario. All he did was grow with his taunt, not having the ability to talk. "See?!?! The original 12 is rapidly turning into Smash64. "Heck..." Sakurai started, giving more suspense.

"Even the proto-type characters are back!" and behold, Toon Zelda and Shiek waved in the audience. Plusle & Minun cheered along. Dixie Kong flew in with her ponytail. Roy was cutting himself, Dr. Mario healing hi-

"OH JUST STOP IT LOSERS! YOU NEVER RECOVERED! DON'T ACT LIKE SMASHERS!" roared the furious Sakurai. Everyone stopped. "Except you Roy." Roy gave him the thumbs-up and continued to cut himself, aching every slice.

"Hey Sakurai. Let's start the interview!" Iwata said to Sakurai, jumping on stage. "O...kaaaaaaaay..."

Iwata: Let's change into script format!

Sakurai: No. Just no.

"Fine. So what is your reason of making Brawl?" Iwata asked.

"Well, that's a very complicated question. I'll just say, who doesn't want to see Nintendo characters bunched up in ONE game?"

"I don't!" Roy shouted. Some mumbles of agreement took place.

"Shut up. Next question please!"

"Sure. Do you like 15 pens?"

"I hope that was a joke..." Sakurai was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"Oh, sorry sorry!" chuckled Iwata. "Wrong question. Here's the real one!"

"Do you have a banana?" beamed Iwata.

"... Well, this is getting weird..." Sakurai inched away from Iwata.

"Sorry sorry. Um. Is there an 'us' in pants?" The audience was getting freaked out.

"Stop it please!"

"Boxers or underwear?!?!"

"THIS IS GETTING FREAKY! BODYGUARDS!!"

The guards came and took Iwata who called out, "I know where you live!" the audience silently chuckled with laughter. Luckily for them, Sakurai didn't hear.

"Ummmm... Ok... So let me begin with ???! First of all..."

A popup appeared on the screen, asking: "Iwata Asks, 'Do you want to continue with this secret page?'"

"Yes." everyone said, annoyed... Except the pixelated Goomba. He left and whined about spoilers in Goomba/Pixel language.

"OKAY!" shouted Sakurai. "Here is... Lucario!"

"Ermmm... Hello everyone. I well.. Came back to life somehow... Back into this cruel, cruel world..." Crickets chirped.

"Well?!?!?!" the Waddle Doo called out, talking with a translator.

Sakurai sighed. "Well... good job Lucario... Now. Here's another popup!" Everyone groaned, even Sakurai himself.

"Blah blah blah blah yes."

"Captain Falcon!" The F-Zero racer stood up. "Yes! Come on! Show me your PUNCH!" Unfortunately, he was Smash64'd. In fact, Samus, Kirby, Pikachu, and Link were all Smash64'd; Samus just said "PSHOONT!"; Kirby said "HIIII!!!" and Falcon punched along after swallowing Captain Falcon; Pikachu just said "Pika pika!" which was translated to "Hello guys!"; Link danced with that "mysterious" Smash64 pose. The Metroid couple was getting pissed off as the Waddle Doo started to shoot lasers. All chaos was let loose.

"BRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!" shouted the male Metroid.

"Someone, get a translator!" Sakurai called out, annoyed by the ruckus that was unfolding.

"We're all out of 'em!" replied a staff of Sora.

Rumble. Rumble rumble rumble. "What is that noise?!" shouted Sakurai. Silence. Rumble. Rumble rumble rumble rumble.

"Tingle tingle koo limpah!" danced the fattie. The male Metroid was apparently yelling about the assist trophies. The female Metroid fainted, along with the male. The door burst open.

"EVERYONE!! TAKE SHELTER!!!" Sakurai shouted. Screams of terror arrived. The cameraman was knocked over. The last thing heard: "HYAH! CHARGE!!!" The screen went static.

The gamer was playing on another TV, having fun with Brawl. "Brawl is SO fun! Game and Watch, let's win! Stupid Tabuu! Die!"

Moral: If you're making a game that's really really popular, NEVER update people on stuff they already know, especially if it's released on another country. It's probably already spread worldwide by now.