A/N Happy Thanksgiving. Okay, not for us, but for them. There's a special shout out to some of my gals from Twitter; you'll know it when you see it. Think gold! I'll let you enjoy the festivities and talk to you below!
First & Ten Chapter 32
BPOV
"Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help?" I asked Esme, who was buzzing from the oven, to the refrigerator, to the stove and then back again, wearing one of those frilly white aprons that somehow managed to be pristine despite the chaos in the kitchen. I'd have that thing covered with gravy or juices or something by now.
She gave me a smile over her shoulder as she opened the steaming pot and peered in at the potatoes. "Of course not, Bella. You just sit and keep me company. It was really very sweet of you to come over early to help me."
Ha, it was if I was actually helping, which I totally wasn't. "The boys are at the training facility, Alice is organizing something or other and Rose is tinkering with a car. I thought it'd be nice to spend some time with you."
Esme beamed and patted my hand as she passed by. "You're a good girl. I'm so glad my Edward found you. Have you made him break in his kitchen yet? It's top of the line but of course the boy doesn't even boil water in it." She shook her head sadly.
I bit my lip. We were going to tell his parents that we were living together sometime today, but I didn't want to do it without Edward, though he likely wouldn't care. He was still snickering about my parents' reaction. Well, he snickered until I reminded him of the fact that my father could easily shoot him and get away with it, being a police chief and all. That shut him right up. Then again, Dad wasn't the real threat. I was already dreading Christmas, wondering what inappropriate things Mom would say or do in his presence. If I could put off going to visit them, I would, but now that they knew we were living together I didn't think it would fly if I tried. They'd just show up down here and force us to see them. Ugh.
"Not yet, but I'm dying to." That was the truth, actually. I hadn't much seen the point in stocking the kitchen when we were both going to be gone this weekend, so we were putting off grocery shopping until next week. Well, I was putting it off. He wasn't going, and that was that. Those freaky women in the grocery store could just deal with me instead.
Esme laughed. "I bet." She winked at me as Carlisle walked in the room and kissed her on the cheek before grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator. "Some of us do our best work in the kitchen. Isn't that right, dear?" Carlisle had sipped his water and he started choking at her words. What in the hell? I got up and whacked him on the back as he chocked and coughed.
"Right," he gasped, his face bright red. He looked between me and Esme before hightailing it out of the kitchen.
"What in the world was that all about?"
Esme let out a bright peal of laughter. "Let's just say that Carlisle has a great fondness for this apron." Oh my hell, no. "It certainly can get very hot in the kitchen, you know." I knew, oh how I knew. Oh, how I didn't want to know. "Especially when the oven is running for hours on end while I'm cooking a giant turkey." She gave me her son's satisfied smirk. Good God, they'd banged in the kitchen before I got here. I had no words. Where was Edward? He needed to be here changing the subject for me. I could feel my face heating and I stopped leaning against the granite countertop. What if she'd been leaning there when he…stop that train of thought right now Bella!
I took out my phone and fired off a quick text to the man who had brought these horny parents into my life. Help me.
Esme brought a platter and various cheeses and crackers over to me. "Why don't you arrange these?" Right, that would give me something to do. I opened the package of Ritz Crackers and fanned them out in a circle as my phone beeped.
What kind of help do you need? Is it the naked kind?
Freak. Pervy freak who clearly sprang from the loins of the kitchen canoodlers. Ew, I'm with your mom, you pervert. Your mom who pretty much told me that she and your dad banged in the kitchen before I got here.
Ha! Take that! If I had to be mortified, so did he. I stacked the cheddar cheese next before starting on the pepper jack.
That's very wrong, Bella. Zeus has gone into hiding and may never return again. I hope you're happy.
If I believed it was true, I'd don a black veil and go into mourning for an unknown period of time. Maybe years. I'd be a bereft, ruined woman. No substitute would do. But I knew better.
That's a real shame. And here I was thinking that we could do with some exercise tonight after this huge meal we're going to have. Ah well. I'll hit the treadmill instead.
I giggled quietly as I opened the saltines. Esme glanced at me after she closed the oven. The turkey in there was huge. "Good Lord, how big is that thing?"
She laughed. "Twenty pounds." My eyes bulged at that information. "Of course, that's not the only one. We've got a twelve pounder that Carlisle is going to fry in the backyard."
"Are we cooking for the entire neighborhood?"
She grinned. "No, just Emmett. This isn't my first year having him. I learned the hard way three years ago. I figured sixteen pounds was plenty for the three boys, Carlisle and myself. Wrong. We had no leftovers and Emmett was whining about being hungry when he left. He…well, you'll see." Oh, great, I'd see what Emmett had in store. That meant very bad things.
My phone beeped again. No treadmill necessary. Zeus is intact and I'm on the way. I better not be scarred for life by what I see/hear though.
I smiled. Poor baby, I'll take away your pain.
I picked up the pretty cheese tray and carried it into the living room. I'd done a good job with it. My phone buzzed.
Now that sounds promising. Just what will you do to take away my parental trauma?
I thought for a second before typing my response. I hear Emmett eats a lot, so maybe I'll still be hungry when we leave. I might need something more to quench my hunger. And I was officially sexting with my boyfriend in his parents' house. I was as bad as they were. Then again, so was he.
I can't have my girl going hungry, can I? I'll be sure you fulfill your daily nutritional quota.
I rolled my eyes. You're such a humanitarian, Edward.
You know it, sweetheart. I just want to make sure your belly is nice and full.
I think you're more interested in filling my mouth, Cullen. You're not fooling me. Nothing like a little blow job to make sure a man is properly thankful on Thanksgiving, right?
I'll fill any part of you that you desire, Bella. Dear God, was it getting hot in here or was it just me?
You better make sure you don't eat too much today, then. I have plenty for you to eat…"Is he coming soon, dear?"
I jumped out of my skin, accidentally sent the text and let out a little scream as I whirled around and found Esme standing behind me. Holy shit; did she know what I'd been writing? She asked about him coming. Surely she didn't mean…of course, knowing her, she could mean that. She would probably be happy to know we were sexting in her living room.
"He's not coming yet!" I blurted when she stared at me expectantly. Oh no, there was a double entendre if ever there was one. I hoped to God she didn't think I meant what I meant.
Esme's lips twitched and I knew that my fervent prayers were falling on deaf ears. "Could you ask him when they'll be here? Carlisle needs to know so he can heat the oil." Hot oil, coming, sexting, naked kitchen hijinks; this was officially the weirdest Thanksgiving I'd ever experienced and it hadn't even started yet.
"Yes," I squeaked. Esme chuckled as she left the room.
I'll make sure I have a good appetite tonight then, since I'll be eating my favorite thing. Yes, it was definitely way too hot in here. Time to cool down.
When are you getting here? Your mom just walked in on me mid sext and I swear she knows what we were doing.
I sank onto the couch and waited for his response. I'll be there in half an hour, sweetheart. I'm sure she doesn't know what we were doing. My mom doesn't know about sexting.
Yeah right. You think she doesn't fire off sexy texts to the Meat Master when he's at work, talking about playing doctor? I totally would.
I waited, knowing what kind of reaction I was going to get to that one. Keep it up and it'll be an hour or two before I show, and I'll make sure to eat so much that I make myself sick.
Mean! You are a cruel man, Cullen. You're lucky I love you so much.
And I love you so much that I'm on my way out the door now. See you soon. My quarterback to the rescue. I took a deep breath and headed back into the kitchen, hoping against hope that Esme wasn't going to bring up things like coming and aprons again.
Damn it. Carlisle had her pinned against the refrigerator and they were kissing, which was worse than discussing Edward's coming. He was tugging on her apron strings, for crying out loud. What was with these two and aprons? I whirled on my heel to head back to the living room but they must have heard me because all of a sudden I heard Esme calling my name. Well, I hope to God she saw me and wasn't calling me for any other reason.
"I'm just gonna go and check the crackers," I told her, not turning around. She laughed and I heard Carlisle grunt.
"Don't go, dear. My husband has a thing for this outfit. He'll behave now, won't you, Carlisle?"
He muttered something that sounded like "I have a thing for you wearing nothing but the apron" but I hoped that wasn't what I heard. Really, they were in their fifties, surely their sex lives would be a lot less active now, wouldn't they?
"Yes, Bella, sorry about that." I avoided looking at Carlisle as he hurried past me. Okay, well maybe I glanced and maybe I saw that The Meat Master was packing a pretty impressive Italian sausage, but it was totally an accident. Well, Irish sausage. Was there such a thing? If there was, he had it. It seemed that Edward did come by Zeus genetically. I'd have to tell Rose and Alice when I had a chance. And it was really gross that I was thinking about my boyfriend's father's penis. Enough.
I turned around and saw Esme standing at the stove as if I hadn't just caught her and her husband groping. Alright then, that was fine by me.
"The crackers are out."
Esme turned and smiled at me. "Yes, I believe you mentioned that. Could you help with the sweet potatoes?"
Finally, I could do something useful besides cockblock my hosts. "Sure!" I hurried over to take the pot and start mashing the potatoes down. I scooped them into a casserole dish and layered the marshmallows on top of them. While I was concentrating on that, a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and lips pressed against my neck.
"Something smells good enough to eat." I relaxed into his arms and turned to meet his lips with mine.
"Some son you are, not even saying hello to your own mother." Jasper strode past us and wrapped Esme in a hug. "Hi, Mrs. C. Thanks for having me."
She squeezed him back. "Please, you know our home is your home. We're glad to have you. Where's your Alice?"
"Right here, Esme! I brought a pie!" Alice proudly placed a pumpkin pie down on the table. It was clearly straight from a bakery, because Alice couldn't cook and she damn well couldn't have made such a perfect pumpkin cream pie with dollops of whipped cream and what appeared to be a dusting of cinnamon on top.
"Alice, it's beautiful." Esme hugged her and then stood back to admire the pie. "You did a great job on it."
Alice preened and I nudged her with my elbow. "You brought it or you bought it?" I asked quietly, not wanting to ruin the happy homemaker image she was clearly trying to project. She was in one of the more demure dresses I'd ever seen her wearing.
"Both, of course," she replied with a smile.
Edward released me and went over to scoop his mother up in a bear hug. "Hi, Mom. I wasn't ignoring you, I was just…"
"Greeting the girl you love. I know and I'm glad you did. She's been wonderful help." As if. Edward kissed Esme's cheek and then picked a bouquet of flowers that he'd brought with him off the counter. She thanked him and promptly put them into a vase.
"Yeah, I set a mean tray of cheese and crackers," I responded, causing everyone to laugh.
"And the sweet potatoes look wonderful. It's not your fault Carlisle and I scared you out of the kitchen."
I felt my face heating and burrowed into Edward when he returned to my side. "I really don't want to know, Mom."
"I do!" Alice leaned forward, her eyes bright with interest. Jasper groaned and covered his ears.
"Another time, Alice. The boys are sensitive to such things." Esme gave them each an indulgent smile and winked at me and Alice.
"Yes, we are. Were you traumatizing my girlfriend, mother?"
Esme shook her head. "I'm sure she's seen worse!" With my parents, that was unfortunately an accurate statement, but that was a story better forgotten. Forever.
"Where's Emmett?" I asked, hoping to change the subject.
"He'll be here any minute. He had to go home and change and get Rose." Jasper smirked and Esme and Edward both let out big belly laughs. What the hell? I looked at Alice who shrugged.
"I don't know, they won't tell me."
"You'll see soon enough, sweetheart." Edward kissed my cheek again. "Anything we can do, Mom?"
"Go tell your father to throw the other turkey in the fryer. We may as well get ready for Emmett. God forbid he have to wait long for food." Esme shivered. Edward kissed me again before heading off to find his father, who was hopefully calm by now.
"Jasper, would you start bringing things to the table?"
"We all will, Esme," I told her, hurrying to take the cranberry sauce she pulled out of the fridge.
"Thank you, Bella! You too, Alice and Jasper." We set the butter, the salad, the olives and the deviled eggs out on the immaculately set dining room table.
"I love this house," Alice told Esme when we returned to the kitchen.
"Thank you. We've only been here since Edward was drafted but it feels like home." Esme slid the sweet potatoes into her second oven.
"It sure does," Edward said, coming into the room. He grinned at me and waved his black olive covered fingers at me before sucking one off his pointer finger and into his mouth. I felt a pull in my belly as he slowly slid his finger out of his mouth.
"Stop seducing your girlfriend with vegetables and get everyone something to drink, dear." Jasper guffawed and Alice and I both laughed at Edward's expression. He sighed, bit off the rest of the olives and walked toward the refrigerator.
"What would you like? Wine? Beer?"
"I'll have a glass of wine," Alice responded.
"Me too," I told him. Edward flashed me a smile and grabbed two glasses and got a bottle from the fridge. "Here, Jas." He tossed him a bottle of beer.
"Edward, really, we have guests."
"They're not guests, they're part of the family," he replied, which made both Alice and I grin wide.
"MOM! I'm here! Where's the food?" thundered through the house.
"It's cooking," she shouted back.
There was a bang and "Ow, quit it, Rosie! I was not impolite!" I giggled as Rose scolded Emmett about manners.
"See, all my boys have issues with manners, except for Jasper. He's a true Southern gentleman," Esme told us. Jasper smirked and Edward thumped him on the back of his head.
"Jas isn't so polite on a date, let me tell you!" Emmett boomed as he danced into the room. What the ever living fuck was he wearing? Were those gold pants?
Esme laughed as she was lifted off her feet and spun around the room. Rose walked in and shook her head, smiling at her man's exuberance.
"I'm sure he's perfectly polite when he likes his date," Esme told Emmett, who stopped dancing and pouted.
"He loves me. Everybody does."
"I love you, dear." His sunny smile returned and he gave her a smacking kiss on the cheek before setting her down.
"I love you, too, Ma. I'll love you even more when I have something yummy in my tummy."
She laughed and pointed toward the living room. "Cheese and crackers in there. Dinner will be served within the hour."
"I'm sorry, but is nobody going to comment on those pants?" Alice demanded, glaring at the shiny gold material as if it had somehow offended her. Which, being Alice, it probably did.
"We've seen them," Edward replied.
"For every single holiday dinner," Jasper added.
"They're his eating pants," Esme supplied, beaming up at her gigantic pseudo son.
"What the hell are eating pants? And why are they gold?" Alice demanded. I was glad she was asking, because I wanted to but I'd have thrown in a lot more fucks probably, and this wasn't the place for fucking, unless you were Carlisle and Esme apparently.
"Because they're Hammer pants, obviously," Emmett replied, as if that should mean something to us.
"You wear those pants to hammer? What in the hell for? To carry extra nails?" I was thoroughly confused and I was going to get in on the action.
"God, how old are you, five? Hammer pants! MC Hammer? Can't Touch This?" He started doing a ridiculous running man type dance with little hops.
"I'm 24 and I have no idea who MC Hammer is."
"Wasn't he on one of those reality shows? That guy with the clocks?" Alice asked.
"That's Flavor Flav. You two really need to work on your musical tastes." Emmett shook his head sadly.
"You need to work on your clothing tastes," Alice replied, sneering at the gold pants.
"These pants belonged to MC Hammer. I have the certificate of authenticity and everything," Emmett announced proudly.
"Great, so you're wearing some weirdo's pants for some reason that I still don't understand." Alice glared at them again.
"First, they're gold, which is very classy and perfect for all holiday occasions. Second, they're big and they provide me plenty of breathing room even after I've eaten my fabulous turkey dinner. Third, they're Hammer Pants! Can't Touch This!" And he was dancing again. Rose was laughing and shaking her head.
"I don't want to touch that. Really, you allow this?" Alice asked in disbelief.
Rose raised an eyebrow. "Better that than to make him wear tighter pants that he'll feel the need to take off when he gets too full. I learned that the hard way the first time we had a Christmas dinner with my parents. He came out of their bathroom in a towel. I was mortified."
"I am just telling you now, you better not even think about sporting those for your wedding. I will cut them off you and leave you bare-assed before I'll let you wear gold pants," Alice told him.
"They are the perfect pants for all formal occasions," Emmett responded, his face perfectly serious as he stomped around the kitchen.
"Don't joke about this," Alice warned, her voice low, her eyes snapping. Emmett stopped dancing and saluted her.
"Yes, ma'm!"
"I mean it. Jasper, you're in charge of making sure that those pants are nowhere to be found on his wedding day."
"Why am I charge of Emmett's pants?" he demanded, the amusement dying out of his face.
"Because I trust you." Alice smiled winningly and Jasper's scowl went away.
"Okay." He eyed Emmett who looked thrilled at this turn of events. Thank God I'd be with Rose on the wedding day. I had no idea what crap he'd try to pull just to piss Alice off. But then, he wouldn't ruin his wedding. He loved Rose way too much for that.
"No worries," Rose replied confidently. Emmett grinned and kissed her. I had a fantastic mental image of Emmett wearing his gold pants, laughing maniacally while Jasper chased him around some immaculately sculpted garden. I giggled and Edward kissed my temple.
"What's so funny?" I shook my head.
"Nothing, just had an interesting mental image."
"Oh yeah?" His eyes went hot and I felt that stirring in my belly again. Damn him and his power over me. "Care to share?"
"Sorry to disappoint but it was about Emmett, not you."
"Whoo hoo! I knew you wanted me! It was that ass grope you got in the other day. The ladies just can't resist this ass." Emmett wiggled his ass to punctuate his statement.
"It looks even bigger in those pants," I told him at the same time that Rose smacked it.
"It does not! What the hell, Rosie?" He rubbed his butt and glared at both of us.
"Just checking, Em. You're getting a little firmer." Rose glanced at Esme who was chuckling away at the stove. "You'll be nice and tight when I get that special tool." Emmett paled while the rest of us laughed. Esme looked confused, opened her mouth to say something and then thought better of it. Thank God. I better change the subject to be safe.
"Seriously, gold lame' is not flattering," I informed him.
"I look hot." He was pouting now and looking at Rose. "I don't want the tool."
"You're the one who bought it," she reminded him, looking delighted with how uncomfortable he was.
"Really, Emmett, if you bought a tool and Rose wants you to use it, you should. It'll be a good bonding experience for you," Esme supplied. That did it. I collapsed against Edward, howling with laughter. Alice was pounding on the granite countertop, Jasper didn't look like he could breathe and Rose was bright red. Edward's laugh rolled through both of us as we lost it. Emmett looked mortified.
"What on earth is wrong with all of you? Were you drinking?"
Edward finally caught his breath. "No, Mom, just an inside joke."
"Yes, kind of you like you and Carlisle and the apron," I supplied helpfully. Esme laughed, her green eyes sparkling. Edward and Emmett both groaned.
"Well, carry on then. Why don't you all go in the living room? The food will be done pretty soon but I know that Emmett's starving so you may as well eat some cheese and crackers."
We went into the living room and Edward flipped on the TV to the pregame show while Emmett attacked the cheese platter.
"We have to make sure we watch halftime," Alice piped up, bouncing excitedly in her chair. That was odd.
"What are you so excited about?" I asked her.
"You'll see!" It seemed I would. Edward smirked and I poked his side.
"What do you know that I don't know?"
"So many things, sweetheart." I poked him again and he laughed and lowered his voice. "For instance, I know what I'm going to do to you later." Holy shit, instant heat.
"Rein it in, you two, you'll have plenty of alone time when you get home," Jasper supplied, wrapping his arm around a beaming Alice.
Carlisle came into the room just as Jasper said that and he smiled, but didn't acknowledge it.
"Hello, everyone. The turkey's out of the fryer. As soon as the potatoes are done we can eat."
"Hey, Doc!" Emmett swallowed a mouthful of food and grinned. "Happy Thanksgiving! You'll be happy to know that I lost three pounds in preparation for today."
"Emmett, I'm well aware that you're about to gorge yourself on my food. No need to kiss my ass." We all laughed as Carlisle swiped a cracker and headed into the kitchen.
"Don't anybody go in there," I warned, images of the two of them pressed against the refrigerator filling my head.
"Why not? I want some more wine." Alice stood and started toward the kitchen.
"Because the last time those two were alone in the kitchen, Carlisle had Esme pinned against the fridge and I confirmed with my own two eyes that Edward comes by Zeus naturally."
Alice stopped in her tracks and hurried back to the couch.
"Wait, it was out?" Rose demanded, looking very much like she was going to go into the kitchen to see for herself.
"Things I did not need to know," Edward muttered. Jasper and Emmett just laughed.
"No, it wasn't out, it was just…you know." I wasn't going to say it.
"Hard? Rock hard? Like a jackhammer?" Rose kept going and I held my fingers over my ears.
"Cut it out! I do not want to think about it."
Rose laughed and settled back against Emmett. "I do. He's hot for an older dude."
Edward rolled his eyes. "That's my father you're talking about."
"Well, you got your hotness from both of them. Face it, Cullen, your parents are gorgeous and they're totally into one another. Better that than fighting like cats and dogs." Rose frowned a little and Emmett and stopped eating and wrapped his arms around her. I knew Rose wasn't overly close with her family but I didn't know that she'd had to deal with that.
Edward nodded. "You're right, Rose. I grew up getting to see what a relationship should be. They may embarrass me from time to time, but I'm glad they're mine." I smiled up at him and he kissed me quickly. I was grateful that he'd grown up with Carlisle and Esme. After all, I got to reap the benefits of having a pretty spectacular boyfriend.
The commentators on the TV said something about Brett Favre and Emmett snickered. "He called me the other day, you know. Told me to stop sending him emails."
Jasper chuckled. "What did you say?"
"I asked him if he'd had any good massages lately. He cursed at me!" Emmett feigned hurt.
That reminded me. "Speaking of calling, I have something for you." I got up and took my purse off the table, grabbing the napkin that I'd acquired the other night at the movies.
"Who's Maggie?" he asked, looking at it.
"This waitress at iPic that thought she'd slip her number to my boyfriend as though I wasn't even there." Edward cringed as everyone laughed. "I thought maybe you'd have some use for it."
Emmett grinned. "I can send it to Brett! For a good time, call Maggie. Was she hot?"
I looked at Edward and he shrugged. "I didn't notice."
"For real? Some chick hit on you and you didn't even look at her?" Emmett asked.
"Do you look at anyone other than Rose?" Edward demanded.
"Well, not really, I mean, I see them but I don't think about them."
"Exactly. She was blond. That's about as much as registered. I had my eyes on the only girl I wanted to see." Jesus, he was phenomenal. I pressed against him and nuzzled his neck.
"You could take lessons from Edward on things to say to your woman," Rose told Emmett.
"Please, I am the king of romance. It's because of me that GQ is so smooth."
Rose laughed and grabbed the napkin from Emmett. "What did you say to the bitch when she gave him her number?" Rose asked me.
"Um, nothing? I just folded it up. I thought I could keep it as a reminder of the first time we met." Jasper snorted and Alice tittered at the memory.
"Bella, Bella, Bella. That's ridiculous. You need to stake your claim and send the slut packing."
"She didn't say anything to me or to him, really. She just eye-fucked him and left her number under his drink. There was nothing to make a scene over."
"Nothing to make a scene over," Rose scoffed. "Bella, you're a nice girl, but let me tell you, occasionally you have to let these leeches know that you are not going to stand by while they go after your man. Yes, we all know Eddie's whipped, but still, you don't want every date interrupted by horny bimbos, do you?"
I shook my head. "Of course not, but I don't really know what I could have done."
Rose sat up straight and took Emmett's phone out of his pocket. "You wanna know what you do? This is what you do." She looked at the napkin and started dialing.
"Here we go," Jasper said, his eyes twinkling with mirth. Edward just shook his head.
"Voicemail," Rose told us. "Hi, Maggie, you don't know me, but you do know my boyfriend, well, you'd like to. You had the audacity to slip him your phone number the other night when the two of us were out and I just wanted to let you know he has no interest in your skanky ass. It's pretty pathetic that you can't find a man of your own and have to try to take others'. Just thought you should know that we had quite the laugh about it after he took me home and fucked my brains out. We do have our priorities you know. Eat your heart out, Maggie. If you approach him again, we'll have a one on one conversation that won't be as pleasant as this one. You have a really nice Thanksgiving and hopefully we won't be seeing one another again anytime soon. Goodbye."
My jaw was wide open and I didn't really know what to say. Alice let out a shriek of laughter and Edward shook his head. "There's another girl who hates me."
Rose laughed. "What? Like you care? I've been driving them away for two years. I'm just showing Bella how it's done."
"Well done, dear." We all looked up and saw Esme and Carlisle standing in the doorway, both not bothering to hide their grins. "Implied threat, nothing specific, and you didn't even name the boyfriend by name."
Rose batted her eyelashes. "It's not my first time driving women away from your son. Well, all three of them actually."
Jasper chuckled. "She's actually driven away one or two that we wanted." Alice slapped his leg and he took her hand and kissed it. "She must have known they weren't the ones, though. She was saving me for you."
Alice laughed and squeezed his hand. "Good save, Jazzy."
"Edward learned his best moves from me," Jasper responded with a grin. "I taught him to do the complete opposite from what Emmett recommended."
"Hey! I'll have you know that…"
"The food's on," Esme interjected, stopping Emmett cold. He was on his feet and in the dining room before the rest of us even moved. Edward chuckled and pushed up from the couch before taking my hand and pulling me up.
"Let's go, before he starts eating everything." We filed into the dining room, Carlisle taking his spot at the head of the table, Esme on his right, Edward on his left. I was next to Edward, Alice on my left and Jasper was next to her. Emmett sat between Esme and Rose and he had a fried turkey sitting right in front of him.
"Hell yeah, it's on!" Emmett stabbed it with his fork and earned a smack on each arm from both Rose and Esme. "What?"
"We need to have thanks, you buffoon. It is a holiday," Jasper reminded him.
"Yeah, you're the king of manners, Mumbasa Baboon Tarantula."
Jasper's eyes narrowed. "I'm a little sick of the spider names."
"Too bad, Longjawed Orbweaver." Emmett raised his eyebrows in challenge.
"I'll weave your orbs!"
"Boys! You can fight after dinner." Esme looked fierce and they both immediately apologized.
"Yeah, boys. Try to act your age." Edward grinned and earned a dirty look from both his best friends.
"Carlisle, would you like to give the toast?"
"Actually, Mom, I was hoping I could do it?" Edward took my hand in his and squeezed it as he looked at his mother.
"Of course you can," Carlisle told him, a smile on his handsome face.
Edward bowed his head and began to speak. "There's a lot that I'm thankful for, more than I ever thought possible, really. It's been a great year on the field, for which I'm very grateful, but it's been an even better year off." He squeezed my hand again. "The best things in my life are all right here, and I can't say thanks enough, but I'll try."
Esme let out a little sound of pure happiness and smiled brightly at Carlisle, mouthing the words "That's our son" at him. Edward didn't see it but I did and it warmed my heart, just like Edward's words did.
"I have the most incredible parents in the world and as I was recently reminded," Edward looked up and met Rose's gaze, "I'm very fortunate to have them in my life. They made me the man I am today and they've shown me what I really need to strive for." Esme wiped a tear away while Carlisle smiled proudly.
"And then there are my two best friends, who give me their all on the field and off." He smiled at Emmett who was nodding proudly and Jasper grinned back at him. "They brought two of the most loyal, smartest and funniest women into my life. Alice, you've scared the heck out of me, but you stepped right in when I most needed you, no questions asked. Rose, you're the only person who keeps Emmett in check, for which I'll always be grateful, and you've always taken care of me, from day one. I love you all."
He turned in his chair and looked at me, raising my hand to his lips. I had tears in my eyes and could barely make out his gorgeous face. He had a way with words, my Edward, and now I was going to turn into a pile of goo at the dinner table. I just knew it.
"I'll owe Jasper and Alice for all my life for bringing you into it. I love you, Bella, and I'm so very thankful that you've come into my life and filled it. I didn't know what I was missing before you came along, and now I can't imagine going through even one day without you." He smiled as he brushed away the tears that had spilled over at his first words to me. "I'm glad I don't have to anymore." He turned his head and addressed his parents. "Bella moved in with me this week."
Esme gasped and leapt up from the table, coming up behind us and throwing her arms around both of us. "I knew it! I knew something was up! Oh, I'm so happy." Then she was crying along with me and Carlisle was up and hugging her and then me and then her again, as she held on to us.
"I don't mean to interrupt a beautiful family moment," Emmett supplied dryly, "But my food is getting cold. Can we eat while the rest of you blubber?" I looked over and saw that he was grinning and Rose was wiping a tear from her eye. I didn't need to look at Alice to know that she was crying. If I cried, she cried and vice versa. It had been that way from day one.
"Yes, yes, eat," Esme gestured at Emmett, who needed no invitation and started cutting into the turkey without further ado. "Now, Bella, you'll have to tell me if you want to change anything. It's very sleek and masculine in there, so if you want to make it a little more woman friendly, I can help. I found some gorgeous blankets the other day that would be just perfect."
And she was off and running. "I love his place, as is, but I'd be happy for some pretty blankets or throw pillows maybe?" Esme beamed and Edward laughed.
"You just made her life."
"No, you did." She gave him a smacking kiss on the cheek. "For bringing these lovely people into our lives. Thank you all for being here and for turning my little family into a big, vibrant one. It's what I've always wanted." She hugged me again before sitting down and dabbing at her eyes with her napkin.
"I feel like my son stole all my thunder, but I do want to thank you all for being here with us today. We love you all." Carlisle held up his wine glass and we all did the same, except for Emmett who held up his turkey leg. Carlisle laughed. "And now you can continue eating."
"Thank God," Emmett mumbled around a mouthful of meat.
"Unlike my man, you have class Cullen," Rose said with a smile. Emmett mumbled around his turkey but nobody knew if he was agreeing or protesting. We all ate then, and it was awesome, even better than it smelled.
Xoxoxoxox
"Hurry up!" Alice shouted from the living room. I put one more plate in the dishwasher and Edward and I went into the living room, where everybody was already gathered.
"What's going on? Is it the Super Bowl? Since when do you care about the halftime show, Alice? You don't care if the Lions aren't bringing enough pressure on the Rodgers." I was baffled by her enthusiasm. Edward laughed as he dropped into the recliner and pulled me down on his lap.
"You'll see!" She was vibrating with excitement.
"Damn Jas, does she look like that when you…" Emmett cut off with a loud oof as Rose's elbow plowed into his gut. "Baby, you can't do that when I'm full," he complained, poking out his belly and rubbing it gingerly.
"Full my ass, you should be bursting right about now," I told him. Never in my life had I seen someone put away so much food. I think he ate the majority of the fried turkey himself. I know he ate both legs and most of the white meat, though he and Jasper had fought over that a little.
"I'll have room for pie later, J-Lo. Don't you worry." Emmett winked at me and I shook my head. Alice let out a little squeak as she looked at her watch.
"It's time!"
I leaned back against Edward and waited to see what the hell she was so excited about. There was a commercial for Depends on and I didn't think that was quite what had her going. That commercial ended and there was some dreamy music playing and then all of a sudden there was my Edward, fastening his white shirt and putting on some Perfect Ten cologne. Holy shit, it was our commercial!
I gasped and Edward's arms tightened around me as Tanya was shown spritzing herself with something that wasn't Perfect Ten, some nameless perfume in a pretty bottle. And then there was me, looking, oh my God, I didn't look like me. I looked glamorous and beautiful in the blue silk, dabbing on my Perfect Ten. The commercial cut to the restaurant, Edward and Tanya coming in and looking annoyed with one another.
"That's not acting!" Jasper shouted and we all laughed as Edward and Tanya were seated at their table. Edward saw me then as he sat and his eyes went hot and Tanya turned to see what he was staring at and they started to argue. She stormed away from the table and he came over to me. Every female in the room, including me, sighed at the look on his face. He loved me, even then, and I didn't realize it yet. Of course I looked at him like he was the only man on earth as well.
He held his hand out to me and I slipped mine in his and then I was in his arms and his lips were on mine. I felt tingles move through me just like I had in that moment. We broke apart and swept out of the restaurant as the Perfect Ten Always Scores tagline played. I didn't even know what to say, but I did know I wanted to watch it about 32021 times.
"That was hot!" Rose shouted, jumping up and joining Alice who was doing a ridiculous victory dance around the room. "Did you see Tanya's face? Ha! That was the best acted non-acting I've ever seen."
"Alice, it's phenomenal," Edward told her, watching my face with interest. I just nodded because really, what could I say?
"Tiny Spielberg, that was awesome! I'd pick you up to celebrate but I don't want to move. I'll owe you one later," Emmett told her, still holding his stomach.
"It was perfect, Alice," Esme told her. "And you were beautiful, dear, absolutely gorgeous. And my son! How handsome you are. I love the way you look at Bella, and the way she looks at you." She broke off and dabbed at her eyes again. "I'm so happy you're both so happy!" Carlisle held her and smiled over at us.
"I loved it, too. You do good work, Alice. If I ever need to advertise my services, I'll be hiring you." Alice beamed at Carlisle's words and then came over to stand in front of Edward and me, looking suddenly bashful.
"Did you like it, Bella?"
I still didn't know how the hell to say what I wanted to say, but I had to try because she was getting anxious. "Like it? I loved it, Alice. God, remembering that day, how nervous I was just to see Edward with his ex, and then you making it alright and seeing how we look…I just have no words. It's amazing. Thank you." I got off his lap and hugged her. Alice threw her arms around me and hugged me back.
"I'm so glad! It turned out just like I wanted! Laurent and I have been emailing back and forth and talking about it constantly and I just couldn't wait to show you. So you really love it?"
"Of course I do! I look like someone that could take him away from Tanya."
Edward got to his feet and pulled me into his arms. "You are the most beautiful woman on that screen, Bella. The most beautiful one in the world when it comes to me. I hope you see that."
"I do." I touched his cheek before kissing him while the room erupted in cheers.
"She knows her line already," Esme murmured, much as her son had not too long ago. I ignored it and melted into Edward's arms. I had so much to be thankful for and today I was going to embrace it all; this family, these friends and most importantly, this incredible man.
A/N Well, this chapter was pretty busy, huh? Carlisle/Esme sexy times, sexting, Hammer Pants, pretty toasts and commercial debuts! I hope you enjoyed it. The Hammer pants came from a discussion on Twitter and I decided to use it in the story. Hilariously, my Hip Hop CD that contains Baby Got Back and Rumpshaker, two Emmett staples, also has Can't Touch This. I found it too fitting to resist!
Sideline Collision won the popular vote in the Let the Games Begin Contest! Thank you all so much for reading and voting! I will be continuing it ASAP. Many things to write and not enough time, but I should get out a chapter fairly soon.
Speaking of new chapters, I have a new story that will be rolling sometime this week. It's pure fluff (who me?) and will have short chapters and update quickly but sporadically. First is my first priority but just wanted to let you know that I have something sweet heading your way. I think it is anyway!
The 80's lyrics challenge on Twitter has been moved to Saturday the 23rd at 6 PM EST in order to accommodate several players! I hope to see you there. Follow me there Nolebucgrl and use the 80s hashtag and you'll be good to go.
That's it for now! Thanks for reading, voting and just making me smile, each and every day!