Flawed

Izaya

A/N:- Thank you for the reviews and onto the next chapter. This one should be ending soon.

Izaya grit his teeth, glaring up at the ceiling, as if he could reach the bathroom, but he couldn't. Feeling helpless was a new one on him, he had always been in control. But now that he had fallen in love and couldn't do anything to make his lover smile, he felt...helpless? No maybe useless was the correct term?

Even if he knew the truth, that his monster had returned, he couldn't do anything about it. The blond had to tell him, had to trust him with words. As much as he wanted to Izaya couldn't bounce into the bathroom and confront him. His skittish lover would deny everything and run. He knew it as a fact. Now that he had access to Shizu-chan's heart, he knew everything. There was nothing hidden.

The blond believed he was a monster, that hurt everyone. He believed no one would love him or want to be with him, his self esteem was near rock bottom. And he being the god complexed, insensitive ass hole that he was (Yes he was agreeing with Shinra) had helped feed it. He alone had helped cultivate the monster. He knew with ice cold clarity. Everything was his fault.

The informant should be glad, that he had finally broken the monster he had been trying to since they first met, but after everything, he only felt a lump in his throat that refused to budge. He had broken his lover, it was his job now to fix him. Where the hell did he start?

He hadn't heard the footsteps coming down the stairs, but he did notice the tear streaked blond that climbed back onto the bed. "Shizu-chan. How was your bath?" His lover wasn't doing a very good job at hiding his pain. It was there, clear as day, the forced smile, making him feel like he had been stabbed by one of his own knives. "Fine." The reply was almost monotone.

Shifting closer, he wrapped his arm around the blond's waist, speaking low in his ear. "Hm, it would have been better if we had gone in together." He could see the blond's ears redden, making him smirk. "Shut up. Don't you have work to do?" Moving away, he rolled his lover onto his back, staring down at him. "I make my own hours. And I'm entitled to a vacation."

"So you decide to spent it cooped up in an apartment?" He wanted to see that blush deepen, more and more, he wanted his monster to love him. To never be able to run away. "I don't know, the company is pretty good." Izaya continued to watch the male below him. "Damn flea. Since when did you get sentimental?" Since I fell in love with a protozoan. "Since when did you go soft?"

"Oi, I'm not soft. I said from the start I hated violence." Yes, he did. And he had ignored it, laughing that it had been said as a vending machine had been thrown his way. But it had all been a cover. Letting out a sigh, he crawled on top of the blond, resting his head on his chest. He didn't weigh much so it should be okay. "Tell me if I'm hurting you."

"No. Doesn't hurt." Izaya watched the range of emotions, passing over what had once been an unreadable face, that had now become the most fascinating book he had ever read. "Good. Now we just wait for you to get better." He said it deliberately, trying to provoke a reaction. "When is the kid coming back?" Ah, that one he had expected, just not that soon. "He's not."

"Shame. He was better at computer games than you." It wasn't working, he didn't get riled up. "I'm ready for a rematch." His clumsy lover had dug a hole for himself, since the other controller was in pieces under the bed. "Maybe later. I'll make us something to eat." He could hear the small sliver of panic, see coffee eyes flicker, as if he wanted to run. "Ne, Shizu-chan. Do you trust me?" There. He had given his protozoan something to think about. "Why are you asking me that?" The question was drawn out, confusion written all over the blond's face."Hm? I wanted to know."

"What about you?" Izaya answered without hesitation. "I trust you, Shizu-chan." After everything the blond had done, he owed him a lot more than his trust. He smirked as his lover's mouth dropped open. "Don't look at me like that. You'd try and protect me, even if I didn't want you to. You're in love with me protozoan. I trust you." Shit. He was doing it again. "Then tell me..."

Izaya waited patiently. Come on Shizu-chan, you can do it. Maybe another push? "Shizu-chan?" Again his lover couldn't finish. "W-when I...get better..." He knew that was as far as the blond would get. Letting out a sigh, he answered the unasked question. "Nothing would change." He noticed the shocked expression and the way his lover attempted to turn away from him. He wasn't letting him run. "We'd still be together. Making sure he was looking directly into those coffee eyes, he spoke. "We've been this far. I'm not letting you go."

The blond was silent. "Yeah. You're getting heavy now." Izaya pouted, but he wasn't offended. He could easily see what his lover wanted. "How rude, I'm not heavy at all." He wasn't surprised when he was pushed off of the bed. So it looked like his returned monster had a little control. "Did you want anything to eat?" The informant blinked. Seeing how quickly he had been left alone. Tilting his head back, he laughed silently to himself.

Izaya was off the bed as soon as he heard the crash and ran to the kitchen just in time to see his lover hide his bloody hand., wrapped loosely in tissue "Shizu-chan, what happened?" That hand was hidden from view. "I dropped it." Resisting the urge to say something that would upset his fragile lover, he shook his head moving closer. "I can see that." Taking a shaking hand in his own, he pulled him away with ease. "Lets take care of that hand of yours first."

Once the blond was safely in the bedroom, Izaya turned back. "Wait here." Hopefully the protozoan would do as he was told. Avoiding the mess on the floor, he rummaged under the sink for the first aid kit. With the way things were going, they might as well leave it out. "Shizu-chan. I've got the first aid kit." His lover remained where he had told him to wait, sitting frozen on the bed. Letting out a sigh, he opened the full box, taking the injured hand, gently in his own.

A thick gash ran across the blond's palm. He had to stop himself from saying anything stupid again. For a brief second he thought that maybe it wasn't an accident, maybe his lover was finding another outlet. But suicide? Shizu-chan? Putting the thought out of his mind, he began whistling as he started to treat the wound. The blond wouldn't want anyone to see his pain, he wasn't the type to leave crimson marks for every one to see.

His lover hissed, trying to pull away. Keeping the antiseptic pad over the cut, he looked up with a grin. "Don't be a-" Ah,he was doing it again. "Izaya? Something wrong?" He cursed inwardly seeing the look of worry and confusion. "No, nothing. Hold still." He was now gently wrapping the hand in bandages. "It doesn't look like it needs stitches." Closing the kit, he let his lover's hand gently drop. "I should clean the mess up. Its a shame-"

Cutting himself off, Izaya hid in the kitchen, the whole being nice thing was draining. It wasn't like he could break a seven year habit straight away. His protozoan would always be loveable to him. If only the blond could see it. Leaving the first aid kit on the side, he threw the wipes with Shizu-chan's blood away. How much longer did he have to watch him suffer?

Grabbing a dustpan, he quickly swept the mess up, not wanting to leave his lover alone. Throwing everything away, he wiped a damp cloth over the floor and then a dry one, so the blond didn't slip. It was silent when he lay back on the bed, but he could see the protozoan biting his lip. "Izaya." He didn't look at him just yet, he could hear the struggle in his lover's voice.

It felt like a single, fragile thread. One sudden movement and it would be gone. "I...have my-" Come on, Shizu-chan. Just a bit more. "Strength back." He felt himself smile, glad that the blond had told him. Leaning over he brushed his lips against the soft bloody ones. "Thank you for trusting me, Shizu-chan." Now they could move forward. "What now?"

He could see the simple gears turning in that brain, the blond was smiling, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Hm? Well-" Ugh, why did he keep doing it? Being nice should be a simple thing for him. How many times had he nicely sent young girls to their deaths? Maybe because it was someone he truly loved. "Why do you keep doing that?"

Izaya quickly slid back to his poker face, one of harmless innocence. "Doing what?" It wouldn't help if his lover knew what he was doing. "Cutting off your words." Ah, for his protozoan to pick up on it, he must have been doing terrible. "Didn't think you'd notice." More like hoped he wouldn't notice. "You think you're a monster because I kept telling you were." Don't run, Shizu-chan.

He wasn't expecting soft laughter to echo around the room. "It wasn't entirely you, flea. Just keep being your normal annoying self." Izaya grinned moving closer, even if it was back to teasing each other. "Annoying huh. I'm surprised you know what it means protozoan." He was finally getting through, the blond not hiding that smile, nor the way he kissed his cheek. "Like I said before you have a lot to make up for."

"Wait. Don't." Just when everything was going so well. All he wanted to do was ravish his lover and make up for lost time. He almost ignored his protozoan, but the hurt look in those wide coffee eyes made him pause. Fuck! Turning away he sighed in mock irritation. "Fine. Don't make me wait too long, Shizu-chan." Laying down on top of his lover, he rested his head on the large chest.

One week. Izaya couldn't understand how the blond could stay cooped up in the apartment for so long. His lover refused to leave, refused to let him get close. The first day he had allowed it, the second he became suspicious. Shizu-chan was retreating into himself, the bandage still wrapped around that hand, even though it was healed. Too long in his book was one week. It was time to stop his lover from running and hiding.

For fear that his protozoan would try something, he had been reluctant to leave as well, meaning he had been stuck in the apartment, watching his lover suffer. The blond was currently in the bath, meaning he could take out his laptop, from its hiding place. Switching it on, he waited for the screen to load, his fingers twitching. Usually about now he would be bouncing across rooftops, observing his precious humans, going about their lives.

His fingers moved quickly over the keys, logging in. His desktop popped up revealing a photo of his lover fast asleep, without any worries. There were a few emails from Shiki and he knew his phone would be full of messages, when he eventually turned it on again. Skimming through his requests he saw nothing that couldn't wait.

On the forums, there were numerous, heart rending requests for Nakura, all wanting to talk to him. The informant grinned bitterly. "If you all want to die, I'm not kind enough to stop you." There was only one person, he would help. Closing that window, he checked his chat-room, seeing Setton-san had been on asking about a certain monster. Tanaka Taro had played innocent, keeping their secret quiet.

Now. How to get Shizu-chan out of the apartment? Closing his eyes, he went through all the information he knew, along with what he had missed the first time around. Crimson eyes gleamed as they flicked open. Got it. His fingers danced across the little keyboard, as he did what he needed to, throwing his head back and laughing. It was a shame he didn't have his spinning chair.

It wasn't long before he heard the door unlock, Izaya quickly slammed the lid down, returning the device to where it had been hidden. By the time his lover had reached the bottom of the stairs, he was sitting cross-legged at the end of the bed, flicking through the dvd's. Nearly all of them had been watched twice so far. Really he should buy some more, but that was helping his lover remain in his newly found hermit ways.

The blond wasn't meant to be trapped inside. He was meant to run like a wild animal, the sun bouncing off of that dyed golden hair. He missed the unrestrained the anger, the excitement that crossed his lover's face every time they begun one of their chases, even if he didn't know it. "Enjoy your bath?" Shizu-chan spent most of his time pretending to sleep or crying in the bathroom. He trusted him, but not enough to help. "Yeah."

It was rare that his lover walked around in just a towel around his waist. He could see every visible scar, that the protozoan constantly tried to hide. Licking his lips, he watched as a drop of water travelled over that perfect chest. Damn. Izaya could feel his pants tighten. "You're still wet." Coffee eyes blinked. "Yeah." Don't run Shizu-chan. He risked moving closer. "Do you need some help?" Reaching up, he took the towel from his lover's wet hair. "I can-"

Narrowing his eyes, he cut him off. "Shizu-chan." Those strong shoulders slumped and for a brief moment, he though that the fortress of Ikebukuro would crumble once again. "...Yeah. I need help." Both of them knew it wasn't just the hair his lover was asking help for. "Sit down, protozoan." That smile made everything better. It wasn't fake or forced, it was genuine. "Don't tell me what to do, flea."

Rubbing the towel through damp locks, he took his time, inching closer with every movement. He noticed the hand was still bandaged. You aren't human any more, Shizu-chan. "Izaya. Do you want to..." His hands froze in place. "Do I want to what?" Gazing down, he could see the darkened blush. "You know...Damn it, you never make anything easy." His smirk vanished as he was flipped with ease onto the bed, soft lips against his. "About time, Shizu-chan." The blond nodded. "Don't want to hurt you any more."

Again it was for his sake. "You should be more worried about yourself, protozoan." In a single movement, he flipped them over again, the informant straddling his lover's waist. "I'm the one hurting you." His fingers gently trailed down soft cheeks. "I won't any more. Let go of everything, Shizu-chan. I'll take it all. I'll make it all go away." I'll do anything for you.

Next:- Surrender