…
Bella
…
The warmth surrounding me is the first thing I notice as I wake from my dreamless slumber. The next is the faint tracings of my husband's fingertips against my skin. Even though I've woken a few times through the night to feed Miles, I was able to help him find my breast and then drift back to sleep quickly. Neither of us could bear to put him in his cradle last night. I tried to, thinking Edward would want that, but he was the one to suggest he sleep with us. Relief doesn't begin to describe how I felt when he asked. Having my baby in my arms all night, all the while being surrounded by my husband's, was exactly what I needed after all I saw and experienced yesterday.
Opening my eyes, I'm met with Edward's lazy morning smile. He gets one in return as he reaches his bandaged hand over to push a stray lock of hair from my face.
"Morning."
"Good morning. How did you sleep?" I ask.
"Well enough. I'm pretty sore though. I think I need some more of that burn salve Carlisle used on me yesterday," he says quietly, trying not to wake Miles.
"We can go back down there after we eat."
"Think they'll need you again today?"
"Maybe," I say, kissing the top of Miles' head as he begins to stir. Images of yesterday flash through my mind; the injured coming into the clinic, the four more we lost after the last shot was fired and the last flame as it burned itself out.
Forty-seven.
I was told that's how many men and women from our settlement lost their lives in the attack. Nearly all twenty of the defenders patrolling the perimeter that night were lost and the rest of the forty-seven were killed either in the crossfire or from injuries relating to the fires. Watching them gather the bodies, identifying and sorting them was something I wish I could block from my mind.
Miles' grunting brings me from my memories.
"Well, hello little man." My smile is returned, in all its toothless glory. His innocent grin only brings tears to my eyes. Things could have gone so much differently, and this moment could have been stolen from us.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Edward's soft voice brings my eyes to his.
"I just..." Sniffling, I wipe my eyes. "We could have lost so much."
"Shh, it's okay. It's over now." He gathers me into his arms, holding us close while I cry.
"Is it though? I mean, couldn't more people come for us? Will we ever really be safe?"
Edward blows out a breath, his uncertainty apparent. "I don't know baby. There's no way to know who else is out there. All we can do is live our lives and be ready to defend ourselves if we need to."
"It just seems so senseless. I mean, what was the point of it all? So many people lost their lives. And for what?" I look to my husband for answers I know he doesn't have. Miles' rooting around gets my attention, and I help him to latch on. Watching him, so content, so unaware of the evils of the world, I'm thankful he's too young to remember all that has happened.
I can't tell you how many times I've sent up a prayer of thanks that no children were harmed In the attack. Somehow, miraculously, they were all spared.
That's not to say that they weren't affected. They've all witnessed the horrible atrocities and can never unsee what they've seen. Many have lost parents; in some cases both, or the only one they had.
After Edward and I walked away from the remains of the burned out cabin, and went to the clinic, Emmett and Rosalie went off to fight the enemies still lurking in the shadows and to help find the injured and wounded. When they came across Quil Ateara's body, the frantic search to follow brought them to the swaddled, pink bundle in a basket left at the tree line. Claire Ateara died in childbirth several months ago, during the weeks after I was taken. She had given birth to little Emily, who was now an orphan.
Being the one to find her, Rose wouldn't let anyone else hold her unless absolutely necessary. Even when she brought her to the clinic, we had to do most of her exam while in Rose's arms. Because of the chaos and work that had to be done, she and Emmett were given the okay to take her home, suspending the stipulation that they be married before they would be considered eligible to adopt.
After we've dressed for the day, and had a small breakfast, Miles seems ready for a nap. Laying him in his cradle, I kiss his head, and pull his blanket up tucking it around him. Walking out to the main room, Edward has stoked the fire and is waiting for me on the sofa.
"Did he go down without any trouble?"
"He did," I say as I snuggle into his side. His arm wrapping around my shoulder, we both stare at the dancing flames, reflecting. His undamaged fingertips dance along my arm, and seeing the bandages on his other hand make me thankful that was the only serious injury he suffered while trying to get to us. We hadn't even realized it had been burned until we had been at the clinic for a few hours. When Miles needed a diaper change, Edward removed his gloves and found that the fingers on one of his hands, had all been burned through the fabric. Apparently, they weren't as thick as he thought.
Sitting here in our home counting my blessings while lost in my own thoughts, his voice almost startles me.
"Bella, there's something I need to tell you."
"What?" I ask, looking up into his concerned eyes.
"You need to know, but I don't know how to tell you..."
"Just tell me," I say, reaching up to brush my hand along his jaw, resting it against his cheek.
"I know we didn't talk much about what happened with Aro, but there was a point when Jasper, your dad, and I were gagged and tied to chairs, and I didn't know if we'd get loose."
Gasping, I cover my mouth, tears springing to my eyes; visions of my husband, my father, my friend, all tied down, unable to fight for their lives. Not able to look me in the eyes, Edward's head is bowed while retelling his story.
"Jasper and your dad got themselves untied just before a group of our own people stormed the room. I almost had the ropes off when Aro decided to hold his gun to my head."
"Oh God." The tears I had been trying to hold at bay begin to stream down my cheeks.
"Hey, I'm okay." He wraps me in his arms, kissing the top of my head. "We know how it ends, I'm okay."
"What happened?" I ask in a raspy voice.
"Well, he fired."
Looking up with shock on my face, I question him without words.
"It just so happens that someone rushed at him right at the moment he fired, so the bullet just barely grazed me," he says, pointing out the angry, blistered, red skin of his ear.
"Who was it? The one that pushed him away, I mean."
"It was Jacob."
There's a sinking feeling in my gut of knowing before I ask what the outcome was.
"What happened next?" Waiting with bated breath, I can see the answer in his eyes.
"They fought, and ... Aro got the upper hand and fired his gun again."
I close my eyes, waiting for him to say the words.
"I got myself free just fast enough to grab the gun I had strapped to my leg. I put a bullet between his eyes when he turned around to face me ... to kill me." He takes a breath, blowing it out. "Bella, Jacob died saving my life, and I don't know how to feel about that."
I snuggle in tight against him, staring blankly at the flickering flames. So many thoughts and feelings are running through my head. I'm angry that these men came to our home to take what wasn't theirs, I'm sad that Billy lost his son, I'm thankful that my husband is alive, and I'm ashamed that I'm relieved it was Jacob and not Edward who lost his life.
"You okay?" he asks quietly. I'm silent for a while before I speak again.
"I think so. I just need time to decide how I feel about all of this," I whisper.
"Me too, baby, me too." Kissing the side of my head, we just sit together in silence, watching the fire, waiting for our son to wake.
Walking into town is sobering. Last night, we were both so tired after leaving the clinic, we stumbled home in a daze, not really taking in all the damage to the buildings. All in all, we didn't lose as many as was feared. Once the flames died down, they were able to assess the damage. I heard that the main house, the soldier's hut, and nearly twenty homes were lost or severely damaged. Also, several of the storefronts along with one of the buildings that housed the chickens were razed by the flames. Some of the birds were able to escape to the gated, free-range area outside, as the fire got closer. Even with all that, things could have been so much worse.
But hearing it and seeing it are two different things. Our block of homes was spared, but others weren't. Some blocks are completely gone, while others are untouched. There seems to be no rhyme or reason for the buildings that were chosen to be set on fire.
Seeing the center of town is shocking, too. On one side of the path, the storefronts are all burned, while the other side is fine. So many of the things we've come to depend on are now gone. I can only hope that those who worked in these spaces are okay. The fact that they chose to attack us in the night is somewhat comforting, knowing that the workers would have been in their homes and relatively safe. But after seeing the state of some of the homes, I don't find much comfort.
The clinic is busy with many people who have come back for follow-up care or medications. Catching sight of us walking in, Victoria's tired eyes find ours.
"Oh good! Have you come back to help? We really could use an extra hand."
"Have you been here all night," I ask as I remove my coat, hanging it on a hook.
"I have, and I'm about to drop if I'm being completely honest."
"I didn't realize someone was here around the clock. I'm so sorry, Victoria! I would have come back earlier to relieve you if I had known."
"Oh, don't worry about that," she says with a wave of her hand. "You've got that adorable little angel that needed a good night's rest. But," she says standing from her seat at the desk, "since you're here now, I'm going to get some sleep. Lauren came in a few hours ago," she says, pointing to the young lady in question. "So, you should be all right until Carlisle and Esme get back."
"Oh, where are they," I ask, looking around the clinic, surprised they're not here.
"Well, Charlie came in here about an hour ago asking for them to come to the community building. There's going to be some kind of impromptu trial for all the people they rounded up last night. He said he wouldn't keep them any longer than necessary."
Glancing back at Edward who's been quiet up until now, he looks torn; as if he doesn't know if he should stay with me, or if he should go help, or at least witness what's happening at the community building. Making eye contact with me, I try to convey that I'm okay with him going.
"You'll be all right if I go?"
"Yes. I know you want to be there," I say, stepping into his arms, giving him a hug, Miles nestled between us.
"And you'll be okay with the baby here?"
"We'll be fine. Go."
With a final kiss, he's out the door. Turning on my heels, I focus on the patients looking for relief.
"All right, Victoria, where do you need me?"
The surviving intruders were all gathered and given a chance to plead their cases. It did them no good; the people of the settlement ... our people ... were calling for vengeance. The remaining men were all executed and buried in a mass grave. Even hearing it recalled was too much for me. I felt like I'd never cried so much as I did those days and weeks following the attack. Those days were filled with funerals and sad goodbyes. So many senseless deaths; so many orphaned children, so much destruction. And for what? I'm not sure I'll ever understand it or the reasons I was given. I want nothing more than to put those dark days behind us. But I fear I'll never really recover from it completely.
But today? Today is a happy day. Watching Rosalie try to get ready for her wedding while caring for her six-month-old daughter is making me smile.
"Are you sure you don't want me to take her?"
"Yes... No... I don't know. I can't help it, Bella; I don't want to hand her off to anyone. I can barely stand to let Emmett hold her, and he's her..." She looks at me, her face conflicted as if she's unable to say the words out loud, that she and Emmett are now Emily's parents.
"Her daddy. It's okay, you know." I walk over, sitting next to her on the bench in their bedroom. "I think Quil and Claire would be thrilled to know that Emily found such a loving family to care for her. I know I would, if it had been me that left Miles behind," I say softly. "You have so much love in your heart to give, Rose. She's a very lucky little girl."
"No, I'm the lucky one," she whispers, looking down into the face of a sleeping Emily. "I never thought I'd get the chance to be a mother. I know it's silly, but I just don't want to miss anything." With a resigned sigh, she angles her arms in my direction. "Okay, here. It's not like I can carry her down the aisle with me anyway. Besides, what kind of mom would I be if I kept her from her Aunt Bella?" she says with a teary wink.
Taking the sleeping angel from her, I hold her close, wondering how my own little man is doing with his daddy. Deciding I'm probably better off not knowing, I help Rose finish getting dressed. The gown Alice was able to make in the final weeks of her pregnancy is stunning. The strapless gown is simple, but elegant, and holding a cluster of sunflowers, Rose looks like a princess from a fairy tale.
"Ready to become Mrs. McCarty?" I ask her.
"Lead the way!" She says with a bright smile, her bouquet held out, pointing the way.
The ceremony takes place in the same clearing ours was, over a year ago. The only difference is the color of the summer blooms. Gone are the yellow daffodils of spring; in their place clusters of blue and purple June wildflowers. Because of all the sadness of the last few months, Emmett and Rose chose to have a large ceremony, inviting not just close family and friends, but the entire settlement.
Watching them say their vows, I smile through happy tears. It's taken so much to get to this point. Three months of rebuilding, erecting new sections of the walls surrounding our home, working furiously in the fields so we would have enough food to feed us all in the coming months. So much of our stored rations were destroyed in the fires, and we needed to build them up again, and we will. But watching them recite their vows, proclaiming their love for one another, it feels as if it's a celebration for all of us. We've survived, and in many ways, we're stronger as a group.
Looking past the bride and groom, my husband stands as Emmett's best man. Dressed in his suit, looking far too handsome for his own good, he looks back at me with a mischievous glint in his eye. I can feel my cheeks heat when he shoots me a wink coupled with his trademark smirk. He caught me just before he walked me down the aisle, whispering all sorts of naughty things he wanted to do to me when we get home tonight.
Smiling, I shake my head, trying to focus on the beautiful ceremony unfolding in front of us. Turning slightly, I scan the crowd. Miles is sitting on my mother's lap, all smiles and clapping his chubby, little hands whenever Emmett draws a laugh from the crowd. Emily is in Esme's arms, getting the attention only a doting grandma would give. To say Emmett, Rosalie, and Emily were all adopted by the Cullens would be an apt way to describe how they've been accepted as part of our extended family.
I see Jasper and Alice, cradling days old Isla Marie, named after her grandfather, Carlisle, and myself. Alice still looks worn from the delivery, but she insisted she be here to see our friends on their special day.
I also spot Phil and Sue in the crowd. Dressed in their best, I can see from where I'm standing that Phil is uncomfortable in what he dubbed his 'fancy clothes.' I snicker when I see Sue smack his hand away from adjusting his tie once more. After the dust had settled, Dad went to meet with them, reasoning that moving to the settlement was in their best interests. Learning that Jacob wouldn't be joining them, and that we couldn't really spare any manpower, they conceded that they were getting on in years, and the demands of the farm were getting to be too much. They were able to move into one of the recently rebuilt cabins, and they couldn't be happier.
Mr. Webber's voice pulls my attention back to the ceremony.
"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Emmett waggles his eyebrows and quite literally sweeps Rose off her feet for the kiss to end all kisses, all to the cheers, applause, and whistles from the crowd. Laughter bubbles out of me, and I can't remember the last time I felt so carefree. When they finally come up for air, Emmett helps Rose steady herself on her feet, and they walk back down the aisle, his arm wrapped around her, high-fiving and fist bumping on their way.
"Mrs. Masen, would you do me the honor of allowing me to escort you to the festivities?" Edward asks, extending his arm.
"That would be lovely, Mr. Masen."
"The loveliest thing here today is you," he says quietly, kissing me quickly as we follow the bride and groom toward the reception.
"You sweet-talker. I wouldn't let Rose hear you say that if I were you," I tease.
"I'm not scared of her."
But the way he glances in Rose's direction tells me otherwise. I laugh, pulling him along. "Come on, I want to dance tonight."
And dance we do. We dance so late into the evening, Mom and I decide it's best to take Miles home with her and put him down to sleep. Promising to be back before he needs to nurse again, I send him off with a few extra kisses. The next few hours are spent dancing, talking with friends, and enjoying the warm summer evening. We're so caught up in the festivities, we don't see James and Victoria approach.
"Masen," James says, his hand stretched out to shake Edward's.
"James. Are you guys having a good time?"
"We are," he says, pulling Victoria closer, a smile on his face. "We wanted to come and say goodbye too."
"Goodbye?" I ask. "Where are you going?"
"We're headed back to California. This wasn't supposed to be permanent, and we're needed back home. Now that we have a better idea of what all those assholes were up to, we're planning on trying to liberate the other settlements. Well, at this point you should probably call them camps."
"So you'll be traveling that far east?" Even I can hear the surprise in my voice.
"East, south; wherever we're needed."
"Damn. Hope you've got a good pair of boots," Edward jokes, causing both of them to laugh.
"Well, yes, we do," he says with a chuckle. "But we're actually in the planning stages of getting the railways open and running again. We had a few working on it before we left Cali, and I'm hoping that it'll soon be feasible. Who knows, maybe we'll be back through here someday." The look in his eye is wistful, knowing that it's more than likely a pipe dream.
"Maybe, some day." Edward reaches out for another handshake, getting a hug in return. "Thanks for all your help these last few months. Maybe we'll cross paths, you never know."
"I'm going to miss you," Victoria says through a watery smile. She and I have grown rather close these last few months working so closely in the clinic.
"I'm going to miss you, too." I pull her into a hug. "But, we can write, can't we?"
"Of course. Even if we're traveling, we'll try to stay in touch. You take care of yourself, Bella, and that adorable baby of yours too."
"I will." I whisper into her ear, "And don't give up hope on that dream for you two either. Em and Rose got their happily ever after, so it could happen for you."
She nods as she pulls away. "Thank you. But I'm happy that we have each other," she says, glancing over at James. "Hoping for anything more would just be greedy," she says with a smile.
With another round of hugs and handshakes, they walk away into the dimming light of the evening.
"Wow, did you know they were headed back?" I ask Edward.
"No," he says, leading us to the edge of the festivities where we're able to find a quiet spot under a tree overlooking one of the fields. Pulling me close, we stand, my back to his chest, my head tucked under his chin. Looking toward the west, the sun has begun its journey to the other side of the world. "I had heard they would be leaving soon, that they'd maybe even be taking a few people with them to head east to fight, but I didn't know when."
"Wait, people are leaving us? Can we afford that? Losing defenders, I mean?" I ask, looking up at him.
"We'll be all right. After everything that happened, a lot of people wanted extra training, so even if we don't have as many official defenders, we now have a lot more trained people living here."
"They didn't ask you to go, did they?" I ask, almost panicked.
"No baby. I'm not leaving your side ever again if I can help it."
"Good," I whisper as I reach up on tiptoes and place a kiss on his lips. Turning back to watch the sun dip below the horizon, I settle back into his chest.
Looking over the fields that are bursting with life, I see our rebirth. The burned out buildings were cleared, and much of the remains were used to amend the soil as it was planted, feeding the plants. Seeing it now, I'd have to say it's the most robust looking crop we've had in years. It's amazing to me that new life can grow from such destruction. My gaze travels in the direction of the plot where most of the victims of the attack are buried, and I say a silent thank you.
I say a thank you to Quil, who thought to hide his baby girl so Rose and Emmett could find her and become her family.
I say a thank you to all the men and women who fought so hard to defend our home, but lost their lives in the process.
And I say a thank you to Jacob. Without his sacrifice, I wouldn't be standing here in the arms of my husband, soaking up all the love he has to give me.
"Ready to head back?" His voice is nearly as soft as his kisses to my neck.
"Yeah." I turn my head to look into his beautiful green eyes. "Think we can get in one more dance before we head home and get our son?"
"I think that could be arranged," he says with a smirk. "I'd dance with you till sunrise if I could." Turning me in his arms, he pulls me close, his arms going around my waist. He must see in my eyes where my mind has been because I can see the questioning in his own. "You okay?"
"Yeah. I just..." My gaze goes back to where all the lost are resting. "We've lost so much, but I feel like we're stronger now. Does that make any sense?"
"It does," he whispers. "We did lose a lot, but Bella," he says, tilting my chin to look at him. "We also stood up and fought for our home, and we won. Of course, we're going to feel stronger."
"Do you think we'll ever have to fight again?" I think that fear will always be in the back of my mind.
"Well, if we do, we'll know how strong we really are. We won't let anyone take this life from us. Now, enough with the heavy. I do believe you promised me another dance."
Our dance under the stars was the perfect end to a nearly perfect day. We celebrated love, life, and family; things I will never again take for granted. Our future may be uncertain, but I do know for sure that my friends, my family, and my love, will be by my side every step of the way.
A/N: Well, that's just about it for my little tale. There will be an epilogue next week that will give us a glimpse into the future for these two, as well as the rest of the gang. It's been a fantastic experience to share this with all of you, and I can't express enough how much your support of my first story has meant.
As always, thanks go to Gabby1017, LifeAndDeathLullabies, and SarcasticBimbo for pre-reading, and to SunflowerFran for wielding her magical red pen and making my words pretty. All remaining mistakes are mine. And thank you to 2brown-eyes for my lovely banner.
Lots of exciting things are coming up. The Age of Edward 2017 will begin accepting submissions on 8/1, so be sure to check it out. The link was in last week's author's note.
And over in Fran's Facebook group, Pay it Forward, she's offering assistance to new writers. If you've been thinking about posting, but need some guidance, tips, or just the extra support the group is known for, contact either her or myself through PM, and we'll be happy to help get you started!
Thanks again for all of your lovely reviews; they mean the world to me!