A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow, but I realized I'm planning to spend what I can of tomorrow writing so I need to get this out now. Not a huge chapter as far as plot advancement, but it kind of wraps up what I call "The Lucy Talks" in my head. Now it's Kendall and James' turn to sit in the hot seat with Lucy haha. After this chapter, all four of the boys will have a lot to think about and we'll see how they progress from there.

If you're reading this, you're the best. Thank you! :D

It really wasn't a surprise when Kendall barged into Lucy's office at the beginning of third period—not only because he did on occasion, but because it fit the pattern her day was shaping into. She sat back with a smirk. "How did I know you'd show up today?"

"Because you're the only person who can help me make sense of my fucked-up life lately?"

"Sit." She waited until he did to ask, "So you're not here to help me with Hogwarts today, I take it?"

"I don't know. Maybe it would be easier to talk if I was physically doing something. I need a distraction."

Noting Kendall's bloodshot eyes, Lucy shook her head. "I think if you don't start talking you're going to explode. Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Some. Had nightmares when I did, though."

"I can see that. I almost texted you yesterday when Jo and I got back home but I was hoping you were quiet because you had a date or something."

"Please. All of my dates end the same way, with me wishing I could go home to James. Or at least talk to him online. And now I fucked that up, too."

"Okay, so...in light of new information I received today, there are many questions I wish I could ask. Confidentiality prohibits me from doing that. I need you to volunteer what you know so that I can comment on it and we can discuss it from there."

"Why do you sound like Logan all of a sudden?" Kendall studied her "I have no idea what you're talking about" expression until it kicked in. "Logan was here."

"Logan was here. How clever of you to surmise that."

"Why? Logan never comes here."

"Can't tell you that, even if you guess correctly. So...why don't you give me some ideas as to why you think Logan might come see me."

"Because he's suddenly a sex machine who needs it every night?"

One of Lucy's eyebrows quirked up. "That I didn't know. When did this happen?"

"Strangely enough, after the dance. When he met Carlos."

"Ah. Well, Carlos also paid me a visit today."

"So you know about the kiss."

"There was a kiss?"

Kendall could tell she did know but had to pretend she didn't. "Carlos kissed Logan at the dance."

"Does James know?"

"From what I can tell, no. And we both know it would kill him if he found out. Has he talked to you at all about any of this?"

"He hasn't," she said honestly. "And that's what I'm dying to know. But if he did...he'd be a wreck. So I'd definitely know, right?"

"I think so. He said some things last night to Rush that make me think he still has no idea."

"So you did talk to him online."

"Yes, and he had breakfast with my family yesterday morning."

Lucy sat up straighter in surprise. "What? Sundays are their days, we all know not to bother them that day."

"Okay, so. I probably shouldn't be telling you all of this, but I have to in order to talk about my shit. And you can pretend whatever you need to be a secret is still secret, right?"

"Just spill already. What the hell did I miss? Besides the fact that Logan apparently did a 180 in the personality department overnight."

Kendall made himself more comfortable before launching into everything. "He and James left the dance early for sex. Logan wanted it."

"Whoa, Logan did? I thought they left because of the kiss."

"Well, I guess in a way that was the case, but it was more because Logan was horny. For the first time in like...ever."

"He told you this?"

"King told me this. James, but..."

"Right. So they left and went home and had sex and I imagine James was ecstatic?"

"He was. He really thought it was a breakthrough for them and was excited that he would finally be getting that side of Logan."

"But he didn't know about the kiss, or that Logan was only turned on because of Carlos."

"Exactly. So the next morning, he tried to start something and Logan stopped him and James lost it. They had a fight and James took off, and he ended up at the restaurant with me and Mom and Katie. I knew they'd had a fight because Logan called me panicking that James was leaving him, so when he showed up and looked like he was about to fall apart..."

"You had to come to the rescue," Lucy smiled.

"Stop it. I just wanted him to know he was welcome with us. It...was actually a really nice time. We got along great and he cried in the bathroom while I consoled him a little and...fuck, Lucy, I'm so in love with him. I never wanted that to end."

"I'm sorry. I know how much it hurts that you can't have him."

Kendall ignored that. "I asked him to drive me home because I wanted to thank him for the skate. And maybe because I just didn't want to say goodbye yet."

"Oh, shit. Is he pissed at me for telling you?"

"He doesn't know it was you. He tried to deny the whole thing at first but then he admitted it and said things about me that...well, just made me fall more in love. By the time we got to my place I was barely able to keep my mouth shut. I wanted to tell him so badly that I can make him happier than Logan does and that's horrible, I feel so guilty for that. But he was already scared of losing Logan and I told him that he'll never be happy if he isn't honest about what he wants."

"Oh my god, we had that same talk Friday night in the gym! He needs to just tell Logan that he has needs."

"Right. I thought I was getting through to him, but when we talked last night online it was clear that nothing had changed. Logan called me before I went out on a date and I was rude to him because he's so clueless. He thinks everything's fine. They made up and I'm sure James apologized as if he'd done something wrong to want sex and Logan was like 'James thinks it was the dressing up that turned me on and I've decided he's right.' The whole thing just pissed me off."

"God, those two are the kings of denial."

"I know! How did we ever think they were right for each other?"

"I guess because they were in love. It seemed natural."

"Was it love, though? I mean...are there different types of love?"

"Of course there are. I just assumed they'd be compatible in bed, too."

"So did I. And they're so not. Do you know what James said last night? He said that after they had sex, Logan just went to sleep. And I could tell how much that bothered him even if he pretended like it didn't. OH. And I didn't tell you the worst part. That fucker couldn't sleep because even after sex with Logan, he was lying in bed getting jealous because I had a date!"

Lucy blinked a few times. "You mean Rush."

"No, I mean me. He was jealous and admitted it. Because earlier, in the car, I got him to admit that if it wasn't for Logan and Rush, there might be something between us. He finally admitted that he has feelings for me."

"Jesus, what a mess. I'm sure that scares him."

"I'm sure it terrifies him. So much that he had to go running back to his safety net where everything is just fine all the time and there are no waves. Now I'm back to him ignoring me in person and not talking to me online because I pushed him way too far last night, and all of it fucking sucks. Not just for my sake, but for his. He's not happy, Lucy. And I don't know how to make him that way."

"You can't," she replied gently. "I know that drives you crazy. You just want him to be happy, and you can't force it. Only he can make that happen."

"But he won't! He's just going to spend the rest of his life in a mediocre relationship and being miserable because he's not getting what he needs. He's never going to change."

Lucy chewed on that. "Will Logan?"

"What?"

"We know James isn't going to. He's too scared. Will Logan be content now that he knows what he's missing?"

"I think he's scared, too. They're terrified to let go of each other."

"Then we just have to...back off. Let them live their unhappy lives."

"You know that's not how I do things."

"I don't think you have a choice, Kendall. You've tried, both in person and online. It's time to back away." She sighed as he looked down to hide the tears that were sprouting. "I'm sorry."

The door suddenly banged open. "Lucy, I..."

At the sight of the student barely holding on due to sobs, Lucy stood. "Sadie, are you okay?"

"No."

Kendall waved away the apology Lucy was about to give. "See you at lunch. Thanks for listening."

"Kendall, I'm sorry."

Stealing a glance at the shy girl he'd seen coming out of her office a few times before, he shook his head in dismissal. She needed Lucy more at the moment.

The bell rang at the start of fourth period. Lucy leaned back in the chair and stretched her legs, resting her feet on the desk to wait. Sure enough, ten seconds later there was a knock on her door.

"Come in, James!"

His expression was unamused when he entered the room. "How did you know it was me?"

"I'm psychic. Sit. Talk."

"Why are you assuming I need to talk? Maybe I just came here because I didn't want to spend my free period alone."

"Again, I'm psychic. Shut your mouth, sit your ass down, and let it all out."

"How am I supposed to shut my mouth and let it all out?"

"Do you see this boot? It's really great for kicking. Actually said that in the catalog I ordered from."

"Okay, fine."

She watched him fall into the chair, noting that he looked a lot like Kendall had. Bloodshot eyes, a general air of restlessness, and as if he had so much to say he didn't know where to start. "I think..."

She waited, not prompting this time. He would get there.

"Wait, how long do I have with you?"

"Twenty minutes today. Take your time, but don't wait too long."

"So no pressure then."

Lucy smiled and continued to wait.

"I think...is it possible to love more than one person at a time?"

"I...don't really know. Not from experience, I mean. There are different types of love, if that's what you mean."

"I'm not sure what I mean. I can trust you, right? With my secrets?"

"You always have before."

He nodded, coming to a decision. "I think I'm in love with three different men."

"Three?"

"Three. I want to be with Logan. I don't ever want that to change."

"Okay."

"But these other two...I can't stop thinking about them."

"You've never mentioned them to me before. Unless...is one that guy you only knew for a week?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you weren't talking to him anymore."

"I wasn't. We went like three months without talking and then last week out of the blue he messaged me and...I've missed him so much. Even just as a friend to talk to."

"So when you talk now...it's just as friends?"

"It's...complicated. I don't want to cheat on Logan, so we keep it...tame. Mostly."

"Mostly?"

"Last night it went a little too far. He said things..."

Lucy's feet dropped to the floor and she leaned forward, remembering how Kendall had said James probably wouldn't talk to him again because of things he'd said. "What things?"

"I think he was just trying to make a point, like he always does, but...he asked me to marry him." Her speechlessness finally brought a chuckle out of him. "I know. Crazy, right? We hardly know each other."

"He...was he serious?"

"I don't think so. It was in the heat of a highly-charged moment and he was just talking out his ass, I'm sure."

"What did you say?"

"I didn't. Logan caught me in the living room and...well, it's embarrassing to admit this but I'd...you know. Quite enjoyed our conversation."

"Oh my god. Did you guys fight about it?"

"No. He had no idea. And the guilt I feel about all of this..."

"It's consuming you," Lucy guessed. He nodded, barely able to meet her eyes. "Are you going to talk to him again?"

"I don't know. I think it's best I don't. I obviously can't control myself. I kept trying to walk away from my phone, kept trying to shut it down so I wouldn't see what he was saying but..." A hitch in his breathing that was almost a sob had Lucy standing from the desk so that she could kneel in front of James and hold his hands. "But he was saying everything I've ever wanted to hear. It's not fair, Lucy. It's just not fair. Why doesn't Logan say those things?"

Sobs wracked his body as he clung to her, face buried in her shoulder. "I know you don't want to hear this, but...what if it's because Logan isn't the right guy for you?"

"I don't even know this guy! We've never even met, how does he affect me so deeply? How does he know exactly what to say? Why can't I just stop thinking about him?"

"Because he knows the real you. You're honest with him, aren't you? All those things you don't admit to Logan, don't admit to me...you tell him, don't you?"

"He knows everything about me. And he still likes me! How is that possible?"

"You're an incredible guy, James. Warm, funny, loyal..." She pulled back enough to look into his eyes. "I know you don't want anyone to know this, but you're a good person with a good heart. He sees that."

"He doesn't even know me!"

"He does. Probably better than anyone else on the planet. For sure better than Logan."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you admitted that you tell him everything. You don't hide parts of yourself in fear that he'll leave you. I think you do that with Logan, and I think that says a lot about the state of your relationship. He isn't where you belong, James."

"He's the only one who accepts me."

"If that was true, would this guy have asked you to marry him?"

"He didn't mean it."

"Maybe not, but he still said the words. He was making the point that he loves you enough to do that. To entertain the idea. Have you and Logan ever talked about marriage?"

"No. I don't think that's really his thing."

"You should ask. Because I know it's yours."

"We've only been dating for three months. Imagine if I brought up something like that to him? He'd tell me all the reasons why it makes sense to wait and to not even consider it for at least a year. Probably two, knowing him. And the thing is...he'd be right. He's always right. It would be stupid to marry someone I've only been dating for three months. Even stupider to say yes to a guy I've never met in person."

"That may be true," Lucy conceded. She reached behind her for a box of tissues and passed it to James, still on her knees before him. "But it's not stupid to ask yourself 'Is this someone I can see myself marrying at some point?' Not if that's your end goal."

"It is. I want marriage. I want forever. And...so does he."

"Logan?"

"No. I mean, maybe he does, I don't know. I meant...my guy. Rush."

"Rush," Lucy smiled. "Interesting name."

"I told him it fit because of the rush he gives me," James grinned, a fleeting moment of happiness in his eyes before reality crashed back down again. "He'd do it all."

"All of what?"

"Remember what you said to me the other night? In the gym? That I shouldn't have to choose, that there would be a guy who could give me the sex and the romance?"

"Right. And you said he might."

"Yeah." James scrubbed his eyes. "It's all so scary, though. I don't know how to live without Logan."

"Who says you have to?"

"Come on, we both know that if I dumped him, he'd be devastated. Just like I'd be if he dumped me. There's no way we could still be friends after that."

"Do you think he'd just magically stop caring about you? That he wouldn't need to know that you're okay?"

"He'd be hurt and angry."

"But he'd still care. He might even understand where you're coming from."

"Oh, like I could just say to him, 'Hey, I'm talking to that guy again and I've decided to leave you for him.' We swore we'd never leave each other, Lucy."

"People change. Feelings change. Maybe start by telling him what you need from him that the other guy has to offer. Tell him that you're unhappy because you need certain things he hasn't been giving you and see how it goes from there."

"I was happy, though."

"You've been lying to yourself."

"No. He was enough. And then last night...I couldn't hide from it anymore. I want more. But I'm so afraid to lose Logan."

"Please, James, talk to him. Tell him what you're telling me. He deserves the truth from you."

James bit his lip, struggling to find the courage to admit the rest. "There's more. I've been hiding something from him. From everyone."

Finally. Sensing that James was a bit more stable, she got to her feet and returned to her place behind the desk. "You mentioned a third guy you're in love with?"

"I don't know if it's love. There's so much physical attraction, I think that's all it is and I'm just making too much of it."

"If you're talking about Kendall, I can tell you it's more than physical attraction on his end."

His face paled. "You know about that?"

"I'm his best friend. Well, outside of Logan. And he certainly can't talk to Logan about his feelings for you, can he?"

"How long have you known?"

"Since the day he kissed you."

"Oh my god. All this time you knew? Lucy, how could you not tell me?!"

"Tell you what?"

"That he was in love with me!"

"It wasn't my place! And I shouldn't need to tell you that. He kissed you. Do you think he just randomly goes around kissing guys every day?"

"Well, he does date around."

"Oh my god, you are so fucking jealous. James, how can you sit here and still think it's Logan you want to be with? You're jealous of every man Kendall dates and you're thinking about marrying another man."

"I am not thinking of marrying him! I'm just bringing up that it happened!"

"And that you can't stop thinking about it! Look, you want my advice? Go for him."

"Which one?"

"Honestly, it doesn't matter. Pick Rush or Kendall and go for it. See what happens."

"I can't leave Logan!"

"You can't stay with him, either! You're miserable, James! Just go be happy for once in your life!"

"Logan does make me happy!"

"You just said five minutes ago that you're not. Stop running to him. Stop hiding behind the safety he gives you and get yourself fucked the way you want to be!"

James' jaw dropped. "Don't make it all about sex! That's not all I care about!"

"Fine, then answer this question. Are you in love with Kendall?"

"I...we've hardly spent any time together."

"Are you in love with Rush?" To that there was no answer. "You already pretty much admitted it. Please, James. You'll always wonder about him if you don't take this chance now. Just...live. For once in your life, go after what you want."

"I just want to be happy," James whispered.

"I know." More gently, she added, "That's all I want for you, too. Logan isn't making you happy." Her focus suddenly shifted to the door. "Shit, we're out of time."

"Hi, Lucy! Oh. Sorry." The kid stopped in surprise at seeing James seated in the chair. "Am I early?"

"No, we were just finishing up. James...think about what I said, okay?"

With an abrupt "see you at lunch", he was gone.