This story is nowt like fifty shades; I just purloined E.L. James's characters, buildings and some of her other stuff...

I am so sorry I upset people with Nonno's death, but I wanted you to know people, couples, do die of broken hearts when they lose the love of their life, and this plays a part in a future episode... No hints lol...

Dreaming of Chocolate and Grey:

Chapter 37:

A lonely road:

Ana has been so quiet, so alone and understandably sad, heartbreakingly sad. I have tried everything in my power to be a help to her in this trying time for her. She has had many, many rants, many meltdowns and each one has been a horrid thing to witness. She has pushed me away, she has crawled onto my lap, she has run, she has hiked she has been busy in her kitchen; she is not talking to anyone, not properly that is.

Carla is acting much the same, so Bob and I have been keeping each other company and bonding over our partners grief and our inability to comfort them as we want to, they are hot headed and strong willed and we are realising we are not much use too them, but we are there for them to shout at, and they have. Today is the funeral, and I am hoping that she will be able to move on a little. Five days is not I am told a long grieving period, and Mom says to expect her to be and to have sad periods, she will be upset with me and she will have all manner of rages, and I will be the one in the firing line.

I have helped as best as I can with the funeral arrangements, but Ana has been like a Whirling Dervish, she has organised and bullied people for the past couple of days, it has she said given her anger a focus. Her mother and uncles are numb with the pain. I want to be there for them but I haven't felt this type of loss. I have lost my son, our son and I am sad about that, but this, this is a whole different grief. Mom says it is different for everyone, but I am still lost in this wilderness. Mom and dad have stopped for the funeral, but they are heading off straight after it for the ball. Ana and I will not be attending as they are as a family in mourning, we will however make a sizable donation.

Ana is dressed in black, head to toe black. I am not sure what today will bring, but I hope for a little closure for the family and Ana, that burying them both could bring. I place on my jacket and watch as she brushes her hair one last time. I stand behind her and lean down.

"Ana..."

"Thank you for being here for me. I am sorry for being a bitch."

"I hadn't noticed. I just want to help you."

"You have helped me; you have left me to it and not crowded me. Believe me you have helped, a lot. I wish I'd had you when Christian died."

"I wish I had been there too. Are you ready?" She took a deep breath.

"Yes, as I will ever be." We head down and to the cars.

Her grandparents are being cremated, and will be joining her father and her other grandparents, the arguments this cause were too numerous to mention. Ana stopped the rows by telling them all, that their ashes will be shipped to the cemetery where Ana had laid to rest our son; she stopped the arguments by saying she wanted them to be near Christian. None of them had a problem with this, they would be together, and in a moment of absolute clarity, she then decided she wanted her father, Frank and Mimi in England too. It took a lot of paperwork to get her family exhumed, luckily they were too were cremated and not buried, we didn't attend, it was too upsetting however their caskets, urns or whatever they were laid to rest in, were still intact and along with Nonno and Nonna's ashes, will be placed in the space Ana had for her by our sons side.

The whole thing was a surreal thing, I have attended business colleagues funerals, but I have never attended a family funeral. Thankfully.

Ana has held my hand tightly throughout the service. I have been the very steady rock she needed. My parents have been my rocks. We are driving back to her home; the number of cars in the cavalcade is numerous, too many to count. He was a much loved man that much was obvious at the funeral home. Taylor is with Ana and I. Security is still tight because Leila is still out there. Stalking us, we have had odd phone calls, letters and photos. She is still watching us; the photos she has sent prove this. She has got close enough to fire off camera shots, which worries me, is the gun she has powerful enough to kill my wife from the same distance these were taken at? Taylor assures me she is not close enough for the hand gun she has. He assures us had she had a bigger gun she would have taken the shot.

My nightmare week is coming to an end; we have to get back to real life as early as next week. Ana is going to interview the people Ros has found for her as soon as we get back to Seattle. After that is, we have flown to London to bury her family. Uncle Ray and the family are heading back to Australia tonight, Ana and I, we are going as far as London with Marco Carla and Sonny. Their plan was only ever to be here for a couple of days to see the concert, but obviously their plans were waylaid for a week...

I watch as Ana refuses a glass of wine in favour of her cup of tea, she hasn't had a drop of anything stronger all week. A clear head and mind was needed, she said, to cope with death. Again what did I know? I was strong for her, I was her rock and I took the good with the bad, as all good husbands do. I am sitting watching as she circles the room. She makes sure everyone is fed, has drinks and is spoken to and thanked. All the time watched by her family, they think she is losing the plot, but I know better, this is how she copes. She works to forget, she ignores the hurt, and she buries her feelings. She has cried solidly when she is alone, but her public face is strong, so strong it seems heartless, but it is far from it. Her coping mechanism is hers and she owns it. I hate to think of her being like this with our son, she was, because she told me this was no different, other than she had more support this time.

Time ticks by slowly, people leave and now only family are here. Our bags are packed and again we are on the road to the airport, security, staff, family and bags. My parents are taking the small jet back to Seattle with Bob, who is continuing his killer publicity tour alone until Carla returns they left before us. I am sort of lost, fuck sort of, I am totally fucked. I am sure this married life thing isn't meant to start with two funerals, a super stalker and reburying dead relatives ashes? Ana is staring at the back of the car, where she knows the casket containing the ashes of five of her relatives has been placed. They are the reason I am a little freaked out if I am honest, the funeral director delivered the dear departed at some point during the wake. Taylor placed them in the Bugatti, her Nonno loved this car and we are driving to the airport with them. As I said freaky.

"Thanks for this, Nonno loved this damned car. It is only fitting we take him to the plane in it. I feel odd Christian."

"Travelling with your dead relatives can do that to a person Baby."

"I know, I mean my dad is in there too."

"Stop reminding me."

"He can't harm you. Now thanks and watch the road. Where is Taylor?"

"Behind us, with your mom and Holly. He isn't happy."

"He hasn't been happy all week. We will be in the air in less than an hour. We will be in London and a different country to Leila. So he may relax."

"Nope, he will not relax; well not until he has her in his sights." I watch the mirror and see him in the reflection. I grin and debate speeding up a little and think better of the idea. As we near a junction, I see a small Honda and as it crosses in front of me running me off the road, I see the face staring at me. Fuck Leila... She smiles as the Bugatti spins off the road, and I then have to watch helplessly as she turns her car into the one Taylor is driving, and as she jumps out she lets the Honda run into the front of his SUV. He is rear ended by Ryan and the other guys; I get out of the car, as does Ana, despite me telling her to stay put. Sawyer is turning his car around, it is chaos.

"Christian, she has a gun..." Ana saw what I did not; Leila is covered in blood and is aiming the gun at Ana.

"What did she have that I do not Master?" I hear the click of the gun and see it as she points it at Ana, she is staring at my wife, and my wife being the hot head grief stricken and damned annoyed woman she is, flies at Leila, Leila laughs, and fires off a shot, I watch as Ana falls, I run at Leila and as she points the gun at Ana again, I throw myself over Ana, I hear the shots, three of them. I feel a warmth and a burning. I hear Taylor, I hear Sawyer, but I do not hear Ana... My world goes dark...

Drunk driver or security threat?

I am driving the very annoying Holly and Carla to the damned plane, I think I will pack a parachute and bail out mid Atlantic; these women are not great at taking orders and thy fucking need to take the Leila threats more seriously. I am more annoyed than normal because this is a security nightmare, there are a half dozen cars and he and the wife are in that stupid fucking car. A car with no place for me. Carla and Holly are driving me to distraction or rather Holly is trying to be nice to Carla. Mrs Logan, Jenny she is the only silent one in the damned car. She is worried about Mrs Grey, as are we all. She seems to be taking this too calmly, though Christian did tell Gail she is grieving when she thinks there is nobody watching her, he though, he is the exception, and he has not left her side.

I am watching the road as we leave the house, we are boxing him and that damned car in between Sawyer in the front car and me taking up the rear, something is off, something feels wrong. I look up as we approach the intersection and see Sawyers car move forward quickly, then I see the beat up Honda, it is heading towards the Bugatti, fuck no whoever is driving it has sent them flying into the verge, I pray to god Sawyer sees this as I cannot break fast enough.

"Hold on ladies..." The damned drivers door opens and someone jumps free from it and the fucking Honda heads straight for me. I try to swerve but I was too focused on that damned car. Not today lord today is not a good day to die... My air bags deploy as the fucker behind rear ends me; I will be having words when I get out of the car. I open the door and see the sight before me, Ana... "Get away from her Ms Williams, Ana stop, stay where you are Sir..." I shout but it's like a bad B movie, there is a single shot fired at Mrs Grey and she goes down. The boss then throws himself over his wife as Leila aims at Ana's still body. I see a flash I hear three, or four shots, no three, three shots are fired. I look at the big picture, Sawyer has fired a shot, but only after Leila fired off one at Christian, and at the same time, from behind me I hear another crack of a gun and see Leila head to the ground. It seems Miss Holly is indeed a crack shot, either she has or Sawyer taken Leila Williams out with a headshot.

Ana's mother is screaming and the others are getting out of their cars. "Stay in your damned cars..." I shout and they do. I head towards Sawyer who is hovering over that damned woman.

"She is dead. How about them?" Sawyer asks. I kneel down and see the boss has taken one in the back and is lain over his wife. "T?" Sawyer is by my side and sees what I see. A giant fucking ball ache.

"It's not good; get the paramedics here now, Ryan get two busses, now for fucks sake... We can't move him, and Ana is out cold, either because of her head hitting the concrete paver and there is blood, or because she has been shot? We can't move him to see to her, because from the blood and the hole in his jacket, Leila has shot Christian in or near his spine. If we move him, we could risk him being paralyzed and were the fucker awake that's what he would want, so we could get to Mrs Grey. We are not equipped for this fucking fiasco. Heads will roll. Mine probably...

"Ana... Annie, is she alright, why are you not helping them?" Carla screams. Holly holds her back.

"They can't move Christian, he has been shot Carla, now come and sit in the car, Marco, Sonny, help your sister." She rally's the others to keep Carla from throwing herself at the mess and her daughter. The paramedics arrive, after what seems like forever, but in reality it is only about five minutes, as they turn up so too do the fire and the police. We explain the situation n harried instructions to the police, the medics work on the boss. He is strapped carefully to a back board and they and the firemen turn him and place him in the bus, I watch as they look over Ana. Sawyer goes with Christian, and I stay with Mrs Grey. She has been shot in the shoulder and is out cold from a concussion. I guess the flights cancelled and the party is moving to the hospital. We are heading to Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre, there is no time for my usual, as yet untested protocols to be put in place, besides this is the top of my get to hospitals. I call his parents, as we head there. I am just in time too.

"Mrs Grey, there has been an incident, call anyone you know who deals with trauma to the spine and back, I am afraid Christian has been shot." Blunt I know, but she is the woman with the clout.

"Where are you going Jason?"

"Cedars, Christian should be already there, I am with Ana. She has only sustained a graze from the gunshot, but Mrs Grey her real problem is with the head wound she sustained when she hit the sidewalk, because of it she is out cold." I watch as they pack and bandage her head. This woman, this girl needs a fucking break for god's sake...

"We are heading there now..." I have texted James and he is aware of the situation. The cars are recalled and they will deal with getting them here safely. I fucking hope. Gail went home three days ago; she will now wish she had stopped to care for her adoptive son. I will wait until we know what the deal is before I worry her. We get there and are rushed through to the emergency department, my eyes search out Sawyer, he is pacing the floor in front of a set of double doors, there is blood on the floor and he doesn't look too great, and that's Sawyer, not Grey.

"T, he is in a bad way, they need to take him up." I nod. "They need paperwork signing."

"Fuck the paperwork... I have the authority for him, but not for Mrs Grey."

"Is she okay?"

"No, well I don't know. She has only a graze from the bullet, the problem is her head, and it took a massive hit."

"Where the fuck did she come from and how did she know where we were and when we would be there?"

"I have no idea, but it is going to be on my shit list Sawyer..." We wait, for again what seems like forever, but in reality its way less than a quarter of an hour, when the doctor comes out he asks for Grey's next of kin.

"I have power to act in an emergency, until his parents get here. Do what you need to do to save his sorry as Doc, please?"

"The bullet is stuck in his back, if we are lucky it has not lodged all the way in, but until we get him on the table and open him up, we won't know for sure." I nod.

"Do it, his parents will want answers, his mom is a surgeon." He smiles and heads back in, he is wheeled out, face down on a table and heading to god knows where. I head to see to Ana. Her uncle's are here, as is Jenny, her mom and Holly. I can't tell them anything, other than she was alive. Then it began the hours of actual waiting time. My Grey charges are in the best of hands, but my hands have their blood on them, I need to know who leaked our departure to the damned woman. If she weren't dead already her and I would be n the Nevada dessert picking her plot.

Five days later...

I am standing guard over Ana, watching her sleep and waiting for her to wake, and I am not the only one, this place has been like Grand Central Station, the family are worried, everyone is worried, and they have good reason, because Ana Grey may not wake up, or Ana Grey when she does wake up, could be damaged, the longer it takes the more medical problems she could be facing. We are on wait and see duty. It is hard on her mother and Jenny. Holly has been a rock for me, and like the rest of the family we wait. I Luke Sawyer have prayed more in these past few days than I ever have, and I have served two tours in Afghanistan and a few others where my prayers were not answered, the fucker in the know, him up there, he best make my boss wake up soon and with nothing wrong with her too.

"Ana, wake up Honey, you have had more sleep than you need, wake up for me Ana, please wake up for your old mum."

"She should wake soon Carla."

"I know Grace, but it isn't soon enough. I need to know she isn't, you know..."

"I know. She will be fine."

"How is Christian?" I am watching as the mothers bond over their kids. Kids? They are grown arsed people, but moms are moms whatever your age, I guess?

"He is immobilised and in a drug induced state until the swelling on his spine goes down. If he as much as moves before swelling goes down and at least heals a little, he could undo all their hard work, and if he finds out Ana is not okay, he won't rest. Not until he sees her."

"He will walk again right?" T says it will be a long haul but he will be able to walk again.

"Yes, he may have to have many months of physio, but yes, he was lucky, is she was stood another foot nearer and she could have severed his spinal cord and left him paralyzed, I guess it's good right, that she wasn't?" The rustle of the cotton sheets stops the two mothers from speaking.

"Ana..."

"Mother? What the hell are you doing here, where am I and where is Papa Frank?" I watch as my boss sits up and stares at her mother and Mrs Grey. "Where am I, and why are you here, get out, get out. Nonna, Nonno, Papa... Where is Nonno? Get out Carla Mae, get out, get out, I don't want to see you, I thought I made that clear Mother?"

"Ana, calm down. Please calm down."

"Who are you?"

"I am Doctor Grace Trevelyan Grey."

"Christian and Elliot's Mum?"

"Yes dear." I watch in horror, Ana Grey has lost her memory, that much is clear to even me, the none doctor. "Carla, could you go and bring in her doctor please?"

"What is wrong with her Grace, why does she not remember what has happened and that we were reunited?"

"Mother, leave. Could you send in my Papa, and my nonni?" Carla looks lost, how is she going to tell her beloved daughter her grandparents are dead? "Is Christian here, if you are here Mrs Grey?"

"You remember Christian?" Grace asks.

"Of course, he is here at Otter Island, he was a little drunk. I mean really he does realise you cannot play golf in the snow right?" I am lost.

"Ana, how old are you?" Carla asks her daughter. "Ana, how old do you think you are?"

"Derr, even you know I was eighteen just over four months ago. Ha you been around more Mother you perhaps you would have remembered that?"

"Carla could you walk with me? Ana I will be back in a minute. Okay?" Okay this could be bad.

"Yes, then you can tell me why I am here?"

"Yes Ana, as soon as I have a word with your doctor."

"Okay, but take her with you and send in my grandparents please, if they are here, wherever here is?" We head out before she asks who I am too. I call Taylor.

"She's awake and seems to have lost her memory. She is back to being eighteen T. So what do we do?"

"Keep watching her Sawyer and do not speak to her until we have spoken to Dr Grey."

"Okay, how is the boss?"

"He is being woken up later today; with any luck he is fine. Time they say will tell." I end the call. I approach the women.

"Grace, how has she forgotten everything that has happened to her, is it permanent?"

"I don't know is the simple answer, it could be temporary or it could be permanent. We will have to wait to see what the doctors say. Was that Taylor you were talking to Sawyer?"

"Yes Ma'am, they are preparing to wake Mr Grey. I guess you should be there?"

"Carla?"

"Yes go, go and see your son. I will wait here and talk to her doctors, and pray she remembers everything, and I do mean everything, Grace she doesn't remember she had their baby?"

"I figured as much. That was the last time they saw each other, the winter on Otter Island. I would send for Jenny, she was there at the time and is possibly the only one she will talk to."

"I will, I hope everything goes okay with Christian." They cheek kiss and separate, I watch the room and see Ana fusing with the equipment. Her doctors are there and I pace the floor, what will this do to the boss? I man she thinks is the same as he was when she was fucking eighteen. She is oblivious to the changes in her life, I wonder if that is a good thing or bad, being given a fresh start at life? She has a lost a lot of people near and dear to her since she was eighteen, including their baby, how will they tell her this crap? Holly... I need to get Holly.

"Hey Holly, she has woken up, get your butt back, she is going to need you."

"Hu? Oh my god, she is okay yes, she can talk right?"

"Yup, she is talking like the eighteen year old Ana too, because Holly she thinks she is eighteen."

"Fuck-a-duck..."

"Exactly."

"I will be there in ten minutes, with Marco and Sonny, yes?"

"Yes, she isn't aware all her grandparents are dead, seeing them would help." She shouts at the guys and ends the call. I await her arrival and commence my pacing.

Ana the eighteen year old...

Okay, so I am not eighteen, and my mother is my best friend I hate this reality I woke up in. My head aches and my shoulder has a major scar I never had before. I have listened to people talk, I have been told I could get my memories back, but so far nada, zilch, nothing made any sense. I have security keeping me prisoner that much I do know, a cute guy called Sawyer and his crabby boss Taylor. They are here because Christian is concerned about me, why the fuck he is concerned I do not know, because he doesn't even know I exist and believe me I do try to make him notice me. When I took the booking I was shocked when he turned up to be honest. I need to see here Olivia is, because it is time to put the capture the Grey god into action. If they let me out of this room that is.

I sit in my room, mother has brought me some clothes in, they are really fuddy duddy and old, but I wear them, because anything is better than having my arse on show. Holly has brought me a laptop, and an equally futuristic mobile phone and my journals to read. I looked through my cooking journal first and it shocked me, it seems I am good at this chocolate thing. I know this is not the one I was working on, where is that one? I have asked and they are not telling me anything. I am a damned prisoner being fed bullshit and being kept in the dark like a fucking mushroom... I intend finding out what they are keeping from me and why. I have been imprisoned here for like a full day and a night and everyone including my uncles are feeding me bullshit. I like that word, bull-shit...

The changing of the guard is my opportunity to escape. Mother and Grace are having dinner; Holly has gone to change with the cute guy Sawyer. I need to find out what they are hiding from me. Oliver is not in my phone, she would be great at this, she is better and more fun than this Holly, she is a stick in the mud, and no fun. Nobody is fun anymore. Marco and Sonny are not telling me anything either. I guess it's got to do with the lack of my grandparents? I asked and was told they were going to tell me everything tomorrow when they take me home. I know I am not on Otter Island anymore, because it is hot, bloody hot. Which is a mystery in itself. How the hell did I get from Otter Island to here? The new guy Ryan is speaking on his phone as I slip into the bathroom and out of the door. He is oblivious to my getting my freedom.

Where do I go now? I head to the lift and get in. I press the G button and we head to the ground floor. I find myself in a massive entrance to the hospital and see the Taylor guy with Grace and Mr Grey, Carrick is here, why? I hide behind a pot plant and watch them. They head to the lifts and I note they are heading to the fourth floor. Okay, I can work with that, my floor was the first, so whoever they are here to see is up there. I get in the next lift and smile as the people get in with me. My head is throbbing as we reach the floor. They are at the island desk thing speaking to doctors when I sneak in, whilst I try to figure out who is here, is it Theo?

They head into a room and I follow. Taylor is on the phone, and is cussing, I think they have realised I am missing. Taylor heads to the lifts and I grin. Sucker... I sneak to the room he was guarding...

"Mom, how is she?"

"Christian, it is you who needs watching not Ana."

"Mom how is my fucking wife, stop ignoring me, or I swear I will get up and go and find her myself." Wait one fucking minute, am I hearing things? I'm his wife, or has he married another Ana? "Mom, is she okay?"

"Son, you only woke up an hour ago, now stop and listen to your mother. Ana is fine, she is well but she has no memory of you, other than those she had of you at eighteen, and yes that the last time she saw you, you were arriving at Otter island drunk with Elliot, ready to play golf in the snow?"

"She doesn't remember marrying me?"

"No, Christian she does not remember anything..."

"Mom, she doesn't remember our son? She doesn't remember that night?"

"No, nor does she know her grandparents are dead, she is blissfully unaware of the past, especially the last three weeks."

"How can it be blissful, she doesn't fucking remember marrying me, Mom Does she still love me and need me? Mom, get me out of this fucking bed. I need to see her and break the news of Nonno's death and the rest of this mess."

"No, no you cannot, it could harm her more and she loved you at eighteen so I guess she loves you still, but without the added baby news in there." I have a baby, we have a baby? I look at my midsection and can't imagine a baby being in there, I feel sick and my head throbs.

"Mother..." He sees me... I stand stupefied to the spot. That isn't me he is talking about; I would know if I had a baby right? I would know Papa Frank had died, right? I sway and I see the floor heading my way...

So how do I go on from here lol... did you like the twist? I had thought of having her run and as fast as her legs would carry her... Read review and tell me... Lol... Awaiting news on the tickets for the London premier... Fingers crossed xx