Climbing out of Hell Chapter 36, a walking dead fanfic

***Mention of Rape and innuendo of a racial slur in this chapter***

Demons-Imagine Dragons

When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood's run stale

I wanna hide the truth
I wanna to shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

When the curtain's call
Is the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you've made

Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't want to hide the truth

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how

Merle woke up that Sunday morning and decided that he wanted to go to church with Carol. He needed to get out and try to start living normally again. Daryl had filled him in on all the details of what had transpired the previous evening and he was in total agreement that Trinity and Carol both needed to go over to Jonah's apartment and stay until this thing with Ed and Mitch was over with. He stumbled out of bed and slipped on some pants and made his way to the living room to catch up on the local news.

Everything was twice as difficult with half as many hands. Even the damn remote was difficult to work with just the one hand. Merle still was suffering with phantom pains, but he, like his brother had done a few months earlier, refused any heavy-duty pain meds. He refused to allow himself to relapse, and any type of opiates would probably cause that to happen. He mostly took large doses of ibuprofen and if things got too bad, he would just tough it out. Whenever the pain would become unbearable he would think about Carol and his unborn son, and that would help him stay focused.

As he was watching the news, Carol woke up and joined him in the living room. Her baby bump was visible on her tiny frame, and Merle would instinctually reach out and rub her belly whenever he got a chance. Carol leaned up against him and just enjoyed the feeling of having her body against his strong chest. She adored her man, even with all the imperfections that he possessed, but she could see past all of his flaws and saw the survivor he was underneath.

One of the news stories caught Merle's attention and he turned up the volume so that he didn't miss what the reporter was saying:

"A local woman's body was discovered last night at the abandoned rock quarry just outside of Clayton. Investigators have determined that the body was that of missing local resident Amber Watts. Ms. Watts had previously been linked to prostitution and minor drug charges and police are saying that they do believe foul play is suspected. Anyone with any information is asked to call the Clayton police department."

"Fuck me" Merle said.

"Do you know who she was?" Carol asked curiously.

"Yeah, she was the one fucking around with Mitch. You liked her perfume, remember?" He replied.

"Do you think he killed her because she knew something about him or Ed?"

"Oh, I'm sure of it. I need to make a call and let Detective Jones know about it." He said as he got up to grab the phone. Merle didn't have a lot of use for Amber, but she also didn't deserve to die. He knew she had a young son and a sweet mother who would no doubt grieve the loss of her daughter. This shit with Ed was getting out of control and dangerous. They had killed Amber, attempted to kill Shane, as well as attempted to kill all of the Dixon clan, and now Merle was missing his hand as a result of their sloppy attempts on their lives.

After Merle made the call to Detective Jones, he made his way to the shower and then got dressed for church. Carol helped him with his buttons, because trying to fasten them with one hand was damn near impossible, but he felt certain that once he got his prosthetic hand he would be able to function normally.

They finished getting ready and then headed out to Church. Daryl and Trinity were still sound asleep when they left, Merle nor Carol wanting to wake them up after the late hours they had kept the night before. Daryl would take Trinity over to Jonah's apartment and they would all meet up over there after church, and then Daryl, Jonah, and Merle would leave to go to the County Jail to meet with Gene. Merle still wasn't happy about the idea, but he knew it meant a lot to both of his brothers, so he agreed to still go along with it.

When the arrived at Church, it was like the Second Coming for Merle. He was immediately surrounded by various church members who were embracing him and offering him heart felt concern about his injury and expressed joy that he had survived and saved his family. Merle felt like a king as he and Carol made their way to their seats. Jonah saw them and came down from the pulpit to embrace his brother.

"I wasn't sure if you were up to coming today, but you are a sight for sore eyes brother" Jonah told him.

"Reckon I have a lot to be thankful for. Things could have been much worse" Merle told his younger brother.

"Trinity and Daryl not up to coming to church today?" Jonah asked.

"Nah, they had a late night, I'll tell you about it after church. This situation with Ed Peletier is getting out of control, but we can talk later." Merle informed him.

Jonah and Merle were interrupted by a commotion that was coming from the front of the Church. They both looked up to see none other than Quinn Murdoch making her way down the aisle of the church towards Jonah. As she approached her son she grabbed him into an embrace and didn't let go. Jonah's body went stiff by the unexpected show of affection from his mother. Michonne stopped what she was doing as she witnessed the odd exchange now taking place with her Fiancée and his mother.

"Jonah, I miss you and your sister, can we talk?" She said. Tears had filled her eyes and Jonah didn't get the feeling that she was acting. Something was going on with Quinn and she suddenly needed her family.

"After church we can talk." He said.

"Trinity?" She inquired.

"Not here" was all he said. He wasn't sure what his mother's intentions were, so he was cautious about what he had told her.

She nodded and took a seat. Quinn remained quiet during the service. She missed hearing her daughter sing the praise and worship songs that she had delivered so brilliantly throughout her life. This had been a brave move on Quinn's part, but she no longer could continue living the way she had been for the past year. She was tired of hurting the people in her life who were dearest to her, and she was tired of covering up the lies of what Ezra truly was and had done to her and her children, as well as others. He had convinced her that what he was doing was right, and it was biblical, but being away from her father, and living miserably with Ed made her realize that money and power weren't all they were cracked up to be.

There were two monsters in her past that she had let rule her life, one was Ezra, and the other was Gene. And the remorse she now felt for Albert's death was overwhelming. She could only think of one way to set everything straight, and the first thing she had to do was make amends with everyone she had destroyed along the way.

After the service was over, Jonah met his mother in his office. He was surprised at how broken she looked. Part of him was glad, but the other part pitied her. He wasn't sure if Quinn ever knew true happiness and that as much as he wanted to trust his mother, he just couldn't bring himself to do so. She had hurt him and his sister so deeply over the years that he wasn't sure he could ever get over it.

"So what do I owe the pleasure of your visit Mother?" Jonah asked.

"I know you probably don't want to have anything to do with me, and I get that, but please hear me out Jonah. I miss my children. This is not a ploy, this is not a game, this is me, Quinn Andrews Murdoch speaking from my heart." She said tearfully.

"Heart? I didn't know you have a heart." He told her.

"I deserve that Jonah, and I know I have failed you, Trinity, and even Albert miserably. I was unfaithful, I was controlling, and I didn't do my job as a mother to protect you. I have lived in denial of that fact for a long time, and now I just want to make it right with you kids somehow."

"And how do you propose to do that? You can't just show up here and say everything has changed. You caused irreparable harm when you chose your father over your children." Jonah said, fighting back emotion in his voice.

"I know I know Jonah. I have been in total denial about what happened to you children…to me too." She said.

"Does that mean he did the same things to you, and you still allowed Trinity and I to be alone with him? And what about the twenty or more other individuals who have come forth and said he did the same to them. Don't you think if you might have said something years ago you could have prevented this from happening?" Jonah challenged.

"Yes, Yes, Yes…I could have, and I didn't, but you don't understand, it was all I ever knew. I had been told my entire life that it was natural for men to do this as a show of affection. He had scripture to back up his actions, and I was taught never to question the word of God. Don't you understand how badly I was screwed up in the head? I am just now realizing this and it makes me sick!" She said as she began to sob.

"Well what are you going to do about it mother?" Jonah simply asked.

"I'm going to make it right. Starting with getting Ezra out of the house TODAY. I can't support him any more. I'm leaving Ed, I was only with him because he is loaded and I knew I wanted to get back at the Dixons for taking away my family. Gene Dixon was the only man I truly loved, and you are the result of that love. He wasn't always the sick person he is now. There was a time he was a good man." She told him.

"Good men don't cheat on their wives with the next door neighbor." He told her.

"He was already sliding down into hell at that point. The drugs and alcohol were taking their toll on him. I was in love with him, but he was too in love with Corinne at the time to consider leaving her. It was me who seduced him because I refused to give him up, even after I married Albert. It was wrong, but I was too selfish to care. That's the way I always have been, and I just have done nothing but make a mess of things. I want to make it all right, before its too late Jonah. We are not guaranteed tomorrow." She told him.

"Is there something you need to tell me?" He said, curious about her statement.

"Just that I will do everything to make it right, and I ask that you forgive me." She said.

"I might forgive, but I can't forget. As a man of God, I'm supposed to forgive you, but there has been a lot of damage done that I'm not sure I can get over. Do you realize how much of my childhood has been robbed from me? And I can't even begin to speak about Trinity. You were twice as bad with her. That's your own battle to fight, I won't help you with that." He told her.

"I understand" was all she said.

They wrapped up the conversation and then Jonah and Michonne, who had been waiting for him, headed back to his apartment to meet up with the rest of the family. Jonah was so deep in thought about his conversation with his mother that he missed the turn off for his home. Michonne had to bring him back to reality. He still hadn't said anything to her about his conversation with his mother, but she didn't push. Michonne knew Jonah would tell her when he was ready.

One of the advantages to leaving the girls behind at Jonah's apartment was the fact that it was gated. You couldn't get into the complex without a security code. That meant if Ed or Mitch tried to get in, they wouldn't be able to without alerting someone. None of them were even sure that Ed or Mitch even knew where Jonah lived or what his relationship to the Dixon's was.

After arriving and eating a quick lunch, the men prepared to leave. However, before they left Trinity pulled Daryl to the side. "Daryl, you know you don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I gotta do this Trinity, I will never be able to let it go if I don't." He told her.

Trinity ran to him and wrapped her arms around his waste and rested her head on his chest, pulling him in tightly. She could hear his heart beating and the sound relaxed her. She didn't want to let him go, but she knew this was what Daryl wanted…needed. This was Daryl exorcising his demons and she could relate to how liberating that feels. When she let loose on Ezra not too long ago, that also felt liberating, but overwhelming at the same time. She prayed that Daryl would be able to handle his emotions, and not shut down. She knew Daryl struggled with processing emotional issues, and there were a few times that he had acted desperately.

The men left the women and headed out to the jail. All of them had a lot on their mind today. Merle was trying to learn how to live a new life with a difficult challenge ahead of him, Jonah was trying to process how to handle his mother, and to confront his biological father, and Daryl was facing his demons head on. The next few hours were going to be challenging.

They arrived at the Jail and went through security and were seated at a table to await Gene's arrival. When he was escorted out to the table that sat his three sons, he smirked, especially at seeing Daryl.

"Well if it isn't my favorite pussy and his to brothers. So good to see you" He said with his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Merle bristled, Jonah sat stoically, but Daryl's eyes ignited with fire "I hope you burn in Hell you bastard." Daryl said.

"Oh, I don't doubt I will one bit. Look forward to the challenge" Gene said laughing.

Merle then spoke, "I think Daryl has a thing of two he would like to ask you, and you best answer him."

"Why?" was the first thing out of his mouth.

"Why what?" Gene challenged back.

"Why did you do all those things to me? The beatings, calling me weak, not giving a fuck…raping me?" He said, the last part coming out in almost a whisper.

"Because I could. You WERE weak and you needed to be made into a man. But obviously you were beyond help. The last part…that was because you acted so much like a damn woman I thought I would treat you like one." He said laughing sadistically.

Merle had to be restrained by Jonah, and Daryl just sat there blinking in disbelief. Then he spoke "How dare you even say that shit to me you sick old man? You raped ME, your son, and then you question MY manhood? You did horrible unspeakable things to me, and you know what? I survived. I have a strong family now that you are gone, and I have a good woman who loves me. You made me think that it was me that killed Momma, but it wasn't. She was sick, and she chose death instead of living another moment with YOU. You destroyed everything you ever touched. Your nothing but a sorry piece of shit and deserve every bit of misery you get. You will die miserable and alone." Daryl said, his voice shaking in anger.

"Don't you dare judge me boy. You liked every bit of what I did to you. I heard you screaming 'Daddy, Daddy why don't you love me' when I had my way with you. You were so desperate for my approval you would do anything." He snarled.

Merle and Jonah sat their speechless, but Daryl wouldn't let Gene get away with it. "You're a fucking liar. Yes, I still want to know why you didn't ever give a shit about me, but love and rape are two different things. You owe me a reason for why you hated me."

"I hated your sorry ass because she loved you MORE. Do you not get it? You destroyed everything when you were born. Everything was perfect when it was Corinne, Merle, and I, but then you came along and she adored you. She neglected me to take care of you, said you were 'special'. I wanted her to suck you down a sink, but she refused. I didn't want you to begin with, and she just kept throwing you up in my face. You weren't nothing but another mouth to feed. She never wanted me to touch her again after you were born."

"Maybe if you weren't a fucking drunk and had got a job she might not have shut you out, not to mention the fact you were fucking the next door neighbor." Daryl challenged.

"Ah, so you know all the details of that, and I guess that means you know the precious preacher is your brother?"

Daryl responded quickly "Yeah, we know all about you cheating on momma with Quinn. But you know what, Jonah might be the best mistake you ever made. He's been more of a brother to us since we found that out then you were EVER as a father. Thank God Quinn had the decency to let Albert raise him. Albert was a better father figure to me than you ever were. You killed him because you were jealous that you couldn't be half the man he was. And you know what, after what you did to me, I question if you are a MAN at all. Maybe you have a preference for little boys like Ezra did. Maybe that is why Quinn liked you so much."

Gene bristled at Daryl's statement. He attempted to get up to attack his son, but the guards quickly subdued him. "You sorry little bastard, how dare you?"

"How dare I?" Daryl screamed "How dare you do what you did and think that it wouldn't matter. You about destroyed me, but you can't anymore. I'm going somewhere in this world, and I have a woman, and education, and a future. I will be a hundred times the man you ever were, and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it."

"Right, Like a Dixon can ever be anything in this world. You are going to end up worthless like your Gimp of a brother over there" he said pointing towards Merle.

"Merle ain't worthless, he just needed to get away from you. He knows about the importance of family and is a responsible adult. He already run's circles around you and your fucking joke of parenting skills. And you know what, he puts your ass to shame." Daryl said defending his brother.

Merle's chest swelled a little bit as Daryl sang his praises to the sick monster sitting in front of them. Up until this point he hadn't been sure how Daryl felt about him taking over the role of surrogate parent, but it appeared that Daryl was accepting of it.

Gene just laughed at Daryl's speech. "You ain't never gonna be shit, none of you. And preacher boy, let me tell you something, I heard about WHAT you are engaged too, and it sickens me to know you would choose to be with a…."

Merle jumped in "Don't you dare call her that or I will knock your sorry ass into next week old man. Michonne is an angel and if you were a decent human being you would be thrilled to have her become part of the family. I don't know how you and Jess turned out so different, but even he is embarrassed to admit you are his brother. Dog Shit is an improvement over you."

Gene was now pissed. Merle turning against him was the final straw "We done yet?"

"Oh yeah, were done." Merle said.

As they stood to leave, Daryl got in one final word "I can't wait to sit in that courtroom and look you and that jury in the eye and tell them every fucking sick detail of what you did to me. I was too damn ashamed to admit what happened publicly, but you know what, I am actually going to ENJOY this now. And I when I am successful and thriving in the future, I am going to be sure to think about you rotting in prison everyday, knowing you had NOTHING to do with it. I fucking hate you, and I am DONE with you. So enjoy your time in prison. I hope you get every thing you fucking deserve." Daryl said as he stood up with his brothers to leave.

All three of them headed out of the County jail and went to leave. The ride back was a somber one, but Daryl felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of him. He managed to succeed at exorcising his demons, and he knew that the three of them had managed to finally get to Gene Dixon. Now it was time to go back to reality and face Ed and Mitch and hopefully rid the world of those two low life assholes as well. All in all it was a productive day.

So this chapter went a bit longer than expected, so next chapter will deal with Ed/Mitch...also, what do you think is going on with Quinn? Do you think Trinity and Jonah can ever really forgive her?

Sorry the updates aren't as quick as they were before, but I want the story to flow realistically. I'm already putting the pieces together for the ZA coming up...do you think I should make this a really long story, or stop this at the beginning of the ZA and then do a sequel? I don't really know if it will make a difference.

Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think of this chapter...

Can't wait until tomorrow nights Daryl/Beth Centric episode of TWD...

Have a great day/night y'all.

Hugs and Kisses, and I hope to have an update soon...

Missy

XXOO