A/N: Wow, so this is the last chapter. I'm super emotional about it, but I'm glad that I wrote it, and that it's finished. This is something that I love, and I'm really glad that so many people have enjoyed it. It's been such a journey, and I'm proud to have been the person to create it. For the last time:
Enjoy.
Chapter 36:
The days moved forward. It had started snowing on the ground by early November, a couple of weeks after Blaine had spoken to Kurt for the last time. He hadn't heard from him since. He hadn't cried about him since, either. His working kept him in a distraction, moving him forward during the day, and at nights, he refused to beat himself up about it. He talked with Aaron despite being broken up with him, because talking with him helped. He talked to Dan more often, because talking to him helped more. And then, he talked to a professional, because that helped the most.
In the beginning, he talked about Kurt. He talked about why he was always in and out of a relationship with him. Why he felt the things he felt with Kurt; good and bad. Why he blamed himself for things that were never his fault. And then, he talked more, about his family. The last time he spoke to his mom face to face. The last time he spoke to his father, period. Why he envied his brother so much.
Blaine talked until he couldn't find anything else to talk about, and then some more. Until he felt himself getting better. Until he felt happier.
Then Thanksgiving came, and Cooper didn't have to fight as hard to get him to come home to Ohio for dinner. His mother kissed him on the cheek for the first time in years. He hugged his father, and he actually felt like he forgave him for all the years he had felt neglected by the man. The reason for why he would hang onto a poisonous relationship in the first place that had no progress of being fixed, whether there was love there or not. And they both cried.
His phone alerted him when his old anniversary had arrived, a date he had marked a year ago. Blaine was sad when he deleted the reminder, but he felt good about it. Like he was helping himself instead of fighting.
He spent December performing more. Gaining more friends. He moved to a new place, a better place that had great lighting and a large window to overlook the city he loved. He wrote new songs, and new stories, and when he felt lonely, he walked the streets until he saw a shelter to adopt a pet. And when he felt it too hard to erase a memory with a new dog, he got a kitten instead.
He learned how to cook something better than pasta, and he called his mom every weekend just because he wanted to. He took Dan's advice to hire an agent, and he ended up recording his songs. He met someone new, but ended it because it was too hard to see someone else, and then he talked about it some more.
Christmas came, and it was lovely. New Year's came, and it was amazing. He took someone home, and he had fun, and then forget the person's name the next day. He didn't keep his resolution to cut down on coffee, but kept the one to be more positive. Optimistic. Happy.
He published an album that people liked and bought. It wasn't enough to be 'the next big thing', but it was popular, and that was enough because people actually like something he made. He didn't want to be 'the next big thing' anyway.
Midway through January, Blaine awoke feeling lonely. So, he took a walk early in the morning, when the streets were calmer than usual because most people would still be asleep on a Sunday. He took in the crisp air, and he wandered, his usual coffee shop not being open until 7 on days like this. He walked until he found a coffee shop that was open, and his stomach began to growl from the decline of breakfast.
There was a line of only two people, so it wasn't that bad. He looked around to get a feel of the place, and a sight nearly took the breath out of him. His sleepy eyes had to look twice before meeting the eyes of a light blue eyed man, sitting near the window, making the same wide eyed expression, Blaine was sure he was making. "Kurt..." Blaine breath out, the corner of his mouth quirking into a smile when Kurt waved and smiled at him.
Blaine returned the gesture, before looking down at his feet coyly, and moving up in the line. During the whole process of ordering his coffee and croissant, he had went back and forth on whether or not he should go and speak to him. It wasn't until he was handed his coffee and turned to look at Kurt once more that he decided that he should. He took a long sip before shuffling his feet towards him with a bright smile. Kurt stood up, and then they were leaning into each other with for a hug with shy laughs, and Kurt had invited Blaine to sit down, which he did.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here," Kurt had spoke up, voice still low from rest just as Blaine's was.
"I wasn't planning on coming here. It just happened." Blaine spoke, wrapping his hands around his cup to warm them, before opening up his coat and getting comfortable in his seat.
"Well, I'm glad you did. I haven't seen you in so long." Kurt said, and Blaine nodded with a chuckle. "I know that that was probably mainly my fault-"
"Oh, no no, it wasn't." Blaine quickly stopped Kurt, resting a hand on his. "It was a mutual thing, I've just been so busy and I'm sure you have too."
"You have been busy, haven't you? I bought your album." Kurt smiled at Blaine with slight pride, as Blaine looked back at him with awe.
"You... you did?" Blaine spoke, dumbfounded by the thought of Kurt finding his music and actually getting it. Actually listening to it. Knowing that some of those songs were about him; good or bad. "Did you like?" Blaine asked softly, almost afraid of the answer.
Kurt's brows furrowed like he couldn't believe Blaine would even ask. "Of course I do. I listen to it probably every day." He said, and Blaine broke out into a goofy grin, taking another sip of his coffee.
"That's... that's great to hear. Thank you." Blaine responded, feeling his own chest swell with pride.
"Of course. You're an amazing musician," he said, making Blaine smile once more. "There was this one song. I swear, I listened to it about 20 times when I first heard it." Kurt said, looking down at Blaine's hand that was still resting on top of Kurt's without either of them realizing it until now.
Blaine thought about moving it away until Kurt flipped his over, his thumb rubbing gently across the back of Blaine's hand; and he decided not to. Why deprive himself of a nice feeling? "Which song?" he asked eventually, as Kurt looked back up at him.
"Happy to Keep His Dinner Warm." Kurt told, with a slight smile.
Blaine looked down for a moment, nodding. He remembered writing that song all too well. A year ago, when everything was so much lighter and Kurt and him weren't just seeing each other after months of being apart. Blaine wanted to tell him that the song was written about him, but he had a feeling Kurt already knew.
They continued to talk for the rest of that morning, reconnecting on the things they had missed out on. Blaine found out that Kurt had done the same as Blaine and saw a therapist. He worked out why he was so shelled in. Why he couldn't take care of anyone, and why he couldn't take care of himself. And then, after fixing himself, he ended up fixing his work and had gotten promoted.
Despite being so busy, he had admitted to not talking to Blaine, because he wasn't ready, and when he was, he didn't think it would've been a good thing to do. After everything that had happened, he really wanted to take Blaine's advice, and if being away from him was better for Blaine, then he had to that.
He had met someone during December, but they had broken up soon because it was too hard. He had moved, some place smaller, but quieter, with more windows and great view for the city he loved. He told how his phone had alerted him when his old anniversary had arrived, a date he had marked a year ago. Kurt hadn't deleted it because even though he thought it was over, he knew he wouldn't forget the date anyway. Blaine admitted that he wouldn't either.
He showed pictures of Bale and how big he had gotten, and Blaine showed a picture of his new kitten with bright blue eyes and a spotted nose, and Kurt laughed when he saw him in tiny sweaters. Blaine noted the laugh and how it was more positive. Lighter. Happy.
As Kurt scrolled through the pictures, he stumbled upon a picture of themselves, younger and in love. Blaine started to blush slightly in embarrassment at the fact that he still had that, but Kurt simply stared at it fondly. "...We've changed so much since then." he said as Kurt nodded.
"Yeah, we have."
It took a while, but when Kurt's hand started to shake in Blaine's and Blaine questioned it, Kurt began to stutter out an apology for everything that happened, and Blaine didn't interrupt it. He listened to every word, listened as Kurt listed and apologized for every detail of wrongdoing he had done like he had practiced it.
And Blaine forgave every detail, and admitted to his wrongdoings, and he had knew he had practiced it, but that didn't make any word less true.
They continued to talk until the sun had rose, which was a while considering that it rose later this time of the year. And even then, they were both hesitant to leave. When they did though, Kurt had given Blaine his new number, and an offer to have coffee again soon. Blaine had declined and instead offered to get a pizza and hot chocolate, bringing back memories of their first date, in which Kurt stumbled out a "Like a date?" and Blaine had grinned out an "Absolutely."
Then Kurt agreed. It wasn't exactly starting over, but it was starting fresh, because they didn't have the same problems as last time. They didn't have secrets, and didn't have reasons to lie. They were both able to be in a healthy relationship. Kurt had leaned in for a hug, and Blaine accepted it with a tight squeeze, washing in the moment and the nostalgia of it all. The memories of everything they had been through; good or bad.
He couldn't stop the quick thumping in his heart when he was in Kurt's embrace, and he almost questioned why it was happening, but it was simple.
Blaine Anderson could do a lot of things. He could sing, play multiple instruments, play sports, and even win in every game of Scrabble he ever and would ever play, thanks to his high vocabulary. But there was one thing that Blaine Anderson could not do, and that was stop loving Kurt Hummel.
End.