Here is chapter 35! I hope you enjoy reading it!

Recently, I have been getting very stressed out about updating so many fanfictions so quickly. I have 8 fanfictions in the works and have been getting ideas for more. I also have a lot on my plate for school, work etc. Except for this Friday's posting of chapters, I'm going to be taking a break from writing and posting for a while. I won't be posting chapters in any of my stories until it is finished. (or within a few chapters of it's end.) I don't know how long it will take to finish any of my fics, but I will be working on them after taking some time off of writing. I know I've got a lot of readers who love my stories but I need to get my stress level down and I'm hoping that taking some time off of writing and posting will do that. This wasn't an easy desicion to make and I hope that when I start posting again, you will still read and enjoy my fics.

Chapter 35

"John?" Anna pulled his attention from a delicious pudding, he looked up, surprised.

"Yes?"

"I want to talk...about last night." She bit her lip nervously.

"I'm sorry Anna, I was a fool..." John started, he placed the pudding down and moved closer to his wife. Anna reached over to him, placing a finger on his lips.

"May I speak?" She looked slightly amused.

John nodded silently and she started speaking. "I'm not angry with you about what happened. I'm sorry I was in such a bad mood. I know you'd never hurt me John, but the surprise of feeling you when I was asleep, I panicked. I'm sorry I snapped at you, you've done nothing wrong. I shouldn't take it out on you."

There was a long pause, "I'm sorry I left the bedroom last night. I just..." she sighed and shook her head. "I know there is no truth to the words that Green told me. I know I'm not any of the names he used. But the names keep coming back. Even when you're telling me wonderful things, they keep coming back. I wasn't mad at you, John, I was mad at myself because I can't stop remembering them."

"I'm sorry Anna."

"John." she sounded slightly annoyed but she was also looking at him with complete adoration. She moved closer to him and cupped his face in her hands. "You don't need to apologize. Last night was a learning experience for the both of us. It's all right."

"I won't push you anymore Anna, I didn't mean to frighten you last night. It won't happen again." Faintly he wondered if Anna could hear the desperation in his tone.

"I wanted to talk to you about that."

"What about exactly?" John asked. He could feel his heart settling in his chest. No matter what she'd say, he'd agree to it. But, he couldn't help but think she was going to tell him that she didn't want to be intimate any longer

"About being intimate." Anna said, "I do want to be intimate with you John. Being attacked has changed a lot of things but it hasn't changed that I desire you." She smiled at him.

John took her hand and held it gently. "I'm glad of that, Anna."

"But I also can't sleep without you." Anna took in a breath, "I love you with all my heart. I always have. However, I can't always be intimate with you. But just because I can't be intimate that doesn't mean I want to sleep alone. Please don't leave our bed again."

"Of course Anna."

Anna gave him a smile and an exasperated but loving look. "I'd like to get this all out." John nodded and pressed a gentle kiss to Anna's hand. She took in a breath and kept talking. "What I want, is that when I'm awake, you tell me when you desire me."

"I'll always desire you Anna, even if you can't be intimate with me."

"John stop saying that." Anna interrupted. "We both have needs and I need this. I need to know that when you want me you feel like you can tell me. And don't say you always want me...I know that. And I'm glad of that...you know what I'm saying."

"I don't want to frighten you again." John said.

"You can't live in fear every day that you'll make me panic." Anna said, "I lived in fear before you found out. It's not an enjoyable place to be." She looked at him for a long moment. "I want you to be honest with me, when you desire me tell me. I won't always be able to be intimate with you, but..." she broke off. "I felt so good when you called me a naughty girl after I blew up at Timothy."

She gave a quiet laugh. "I loved how you touched me, and kissed me that day." She pressed a gentle kiss to John's cheek. "I like feeling your touch on me. I want to hear you say that you desire me and want to make love. Just like I'll tell you that I want to make love, I want you to tell me when you want to make love." There was a long pause. "Promise me John?"

"I promise." John said. He covered Anna's hands with his. "And if I approach you and you can't be intimate with me, then you tell me, all right? I won't push you, and I don't want to you to push yourself."

Anna smiled and nodded. "I won't push myself." She bit her lip nervously. "Last night, the reason I panicked like I did was because you woke me up with kisses. You startled me, just make sure I'm awake alright?"

"All right." John caressed her hand and looked at her tenderly.

Anna could feel her stomach flipping inside her, on a sudden impulse, she leaned up and kissed him full on the lips. She'd meant for it to be a quick kiss but his lips against hers felt so good and she was so happy about Lily and Jacob that it went on longer then she'd intended.

When it ended Anna could see the desire in John's eyes. She smiled and wrapped her arms around John's neck. "Kiss me, John." it came out as a whisper.

The kiss was long and deep and Anna could feel John's hands on her body and she groaned as she felt him touching her in ways that brought back wonderful memories. John pulled back, "May I..." he couldn't get the entire question out. His fingers hovered over the buttons on her blouse.

"Yes please, John." Anna breathed. John returned to kissing her, she could feel John unbuttoning her blouse. It was pushed open and she shivered as she felt John's hands touching her body. Even though there were still layers of clothes separating them it felt scandalous to be doing this. In the middle of the day no less. Hearing a horse's whinny, she pulled away slightly. "Just the horses Anna." John was kissing her neck now and she closed her eyes in pleasure. This was incredible, she loved how John was touching her. At the sound of a human voice though, they pulled apart.

The voices were coming closer but thankfully the two of them had time to get decent again before the new couple happened upon them. Anna had just finished buttoning her blouse up again preventing them from seeing anything indecent. She shared a smile with John and mouthed one word.

'Tonight.'

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