Note: Many of you didn't expect last chapter.. Not sure if it was a good or bad thing but I am still currently not sure where I am going with this story past a certain point. Thank you for the lovely reviews and here is the next part. Enjoy and please review, especially if any have opinions in where they would like to see this story go.

Part 36

The mutinous line that was slashed across Scarlett's ruby lips was a telltale sign that she was angry. The train seemed to flash past all the scenery in a blur until everything blended together in one sickening dream. Her stomach hurt and her jaw was clenched to control the pain.

Even Wade and Ella had fallen silent, sensing one of her moods. For a long while the moods had been absent but they had returned in full force. Especially when Ella kept tapping her fingers against the glass.

"Stop that Ella!" Scarlett snapped.

Ella's head snapped around so surprised by her mother's sudden outburst. Wade also stared at her. The tears that filled Ella's hazel eyes made her feel briefly guilty but she looked away, sighing. Placing her hands on her pounding temples, she thought of the agony it had been to leave Eleanor and Rosemary…

"Oh, Scarlett?" Rosemary mourned. "Must you go? I know you and Rhett had a disagreement, but surely…"

Shaking her head, Scarlett sighed. "Are you really that naïve, Rosemary? Rhett and I have been in disagreement for ages. He doesn't want me here."

"My bull headed son loves you," Eleanor added in a calm voice, silent during the exchange. "I know he does even if he is being stubborn."

Scarlett had forgotten Eleanor's presence. The voice was soothing and soft like Ellen's and she felt herself precariously close to tears. And when Eleanor embraced her, only then would she let herself cry but the tears wouldn't come. She had used them all the night before in the guest bedroom… alone.

"You two seemed so happy together," Eleanor told her daughter-in-law. "What happened?"

Scarlett laughed bitterly. "Rhett and I have never been happy. We have only given the illusion of it." She looked away. "I don't want to burden you with Rhett and my problems…"

"You know I will always be here if you need me. Be brave, my dear and everything will work out," continued Eleanor, patting her cheek. "I promise I shall write you every week and you will keep in touch, won't you?"

Both these women cared for her and she didn't know what she would have done without them. How she would have survived had they not been here.

"Yes, I promise," she softly said, with feeling. All the women embraced each other in tears.

The memories shifted in her mind and she could still see Rhett's form as the train had left the depot. He had been standing there with his hands shoved deep in his pockets…

"Boarding!" the harsh voice rang through the depot as the engine started, signifying the train was ready for departure. People walked and rushed forward, waving and kissing loved ones good-bye.

It seemed appropriate that the children lunged forward and hugged Rhett in a tight embrace. There was a momentary sadness and sobering look that seemed to pass in Rhett's eyes before it was wiped clean.

Ruffling Wade's hair he murmured something and then turned to Ella. She clung to him and was crying. Turning away, Scarlett felt bitter that Ella could openly hang on him and cry. What she wanted to do was cry, but wouldn't give Rhett the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

She felt incredibly cold inside. The sickening feeling she related to falling out of the tree at Tara when she was little. Always she related any type of pain to that, since that was the only staggering physical pain she had felt until the fall down the stairs.

"There, now don't cry," Rhett soothed Ella.

"But when will we see you again? Why aren't you coming back with us, Uncle Rhett?"

Patting her hair, he disentangled her hands from around his waist and shot Scarlett a look. "Ask your mother."

The look she shot him was fierce and could have melted ice. Even the memory of his embrace seemed like a dream. The passion she had felt and love had dwindled to fierce resentment, this showed clearly on her face.

But he took a step nearer, because it was expected of him. Reaching out a hesitant hand towards her, she stiffened.

"Don't touch me," she warned in a low voice. "Not when you don't mean it and you've touched her... You've come here to do your duty now you can go back to Halifax for all I care."

His hand dropped back to his side and he stiffly nodded. "I see… Take care of yourself Scarlett and the children."

Stiffly nodding her head, she grabbed Ella's hand. "I will."

Wade followed her as she walked to the train and showed the conductor their tickets. On an after thought she turned to Rhett and released Ella's hand, walking over to him.

"I have one last thing to say to you Rhett Butler," she said with a breath. "I may be a bad mother but at least I never abandoned them." Her eyes burned holes into his. "Remember that, Rhett."

"Bitterness doesn't become you, Scarlett," he said in a serious voice.

A mirthless laugh escaped her. "Doesn't it? I suppose you have yourself to thank for that."

He shrugged. "I told you I'd come and visit…"

The last call rang out and she said, "Don't bother coming. Just send me the divorce papers and the million dollars that we had agreed upon last night, unless you have forgotten our conversation."

"Your thirty pieces of silver," he mocked.

Her eyes rove over his face with anger and bitterness. The planes and creases she had come to despise, love and then resent once again. They could have been terribly happy if he would have let them.

"I never betrayed you though," she softly said, her face briefly softening and a look of pain crossing her eyes. But she quickly replaced it with a neutral look. Not bidding him good-bye, for she couldn't, she turned and went back to the children.

Boarding, they quickly slipped into their seats. A window seat in which she could clearly see Rhett. And she couldn't bear watching him walk away. Yet, he stood there, scanning the windows until he saw her and their eyes held.

Some unspoken words spoke between them before she felt her throat close up and she turned her head away. The train began to move and at last she stared at him one last time, a brief nod was given from him, his hands shoved deep in his pocket as he turned and walked away.

Feeling the tears finally come, she mouthed, "Rhett…" placing her hand fleetingly on the glass as if she could touch him.

XXX

Lying in her massive bed, Scarlett listlessly stared out the window from her pillow. It was noon and she had only arrived hours before in Atlanta. Still dressed fully in her mourning gown with only her shoes kicked off on the floor. Trying to imagine what it was like before she had kicked Rhett out of her bed.

She remembered the feel of his body next to hers and the way he would hold her against his broad chest. At that moment, she could swear she smelt the comforting smell of brandy and cigars-that smell that she had always associated with her father and Rhett.

Her mouth turned down. Noticing that she was becoming fanciful in her thinking as of late. Perhaps it was being back in the house that brought back memories. Wanting to imagine all was well. That Melanie hadn't died, Rhett hadn't rejected her and Bonnie wasn't dead…

Thank heavens Cookie was entertaining the children. As it was, she had to almost forcefully keep Wade from rushing off to see Beau. It was too hard to think of seeing Ashley and Beau. Both a part of Melly that would no doubt bring memories. And that horrid house that hadn't been fit enough to hold Melanie and the one in which she had died in. Melanie had looked so small lying on the bed…

And unbidden came the images of Bonnie lying dead in her small bed. Then the mist came and she wasn't sure if it was reality or a dream until she woke up, her legs tangled and Cookie standing over her with a worried look.

"What is it, Cookie?" she hoarsely asked, sitting up. "Are the children…"

"They are fine, Miss Scarlett."

"Oh, thank God!"

The black face searched hers. "Ya were having a nightmare and callin' for…"

"Never mind about that," Scarlett cut in, not wanting to hear their names, placing her feet on the floor and getting up. "What do you need?"

"Well Miss Scarlett, Mrs. Merriweather, Mrs. Elsing and Mrs. Meade are here to see you."

"They are?" she asked thoughtfully and with some trepidation. Going to the mirror, she looked awful. The color she had regained in Charleston had seemed to dissipate and now left staring back at her was a sickly looking ninny. Turning back to Cookie, she arched her brow.

"Where are the children?"

"Miss Ella is in de nursery and Mistah Wade is in de backyard."

"Very well. Go tell them I will receive them in the parlor momentarily and bring a tray of tea."

Cookie did as she bid and Scarlett patted down her hair, smoothing her wrinkled gown. Really, she should have changed and should at least look decent, well groomed. Sadly, she couldn't conjure any desire to play the part anymore of the dazzling Scarlett Butler. In Charleston she had cared somewhat but now left was the bad taste in her mouth of utter dullness, a world with little color or gaiety.

Slipping on her shoes, she left the room. The hall was still as she soundlessly walked across the carpet to the landing of the stairs. Clutching the railing tighter unconsciously, she held her train in one hand and came to the bottom, heading directly to the parlor.

She saw the old crones: Mrs. Merriwether, Mrs. Meade and Mrs. Elsing. They were standing as straight and proud as a cat, ready to pounce on its prey. She didn't mind Mrs. Meade too much. But Mrs. Merriwether and Mrs. Elsing! They were two of a kind. Both fat old cats that would surely gossip after they noticed Rhett's absence.

They were looking around the ornate house with looks of awe and horror. She couldn't blame them, though they were old busy bodies that were looking around the house to find anything unusual. Not that they would find anything though. Except for the dark gloomy interior of the house.

There were days when Scarlett even wondered why she had even wanted this house. All the memories lingered around, turning this sinister house into a nightmare.

The women's mourning gowns were outlandish with yards of crepe that showed how old the gowns were.

"Mrs. Merriwether, Mrs. Meade, Mrs. Elsing," Scarlett said nodding politely in greeting. "What brings you here?"

"Good morning, Scarlett," Mrs. Merriwether stiffly said.

"Morning," Mrs. Elsing coldly followed suit.

Scarlett smoothed the skirts of her mourning gown distractedly as she smiled. "Would you care for tea?" she asked as she looked at the women's shocked faces. "They probably thought I wouldn't have asked," she thought but forced a strained smile.

She hoped her breath didn't smell like brandy. Maybe she had consumed more then she had thought since arriving for she could still taste it on the tongue hours later.

"That's quite alright, Scarlett," Mrs. Merriwether answered for all three of them as she glared at Mrs. Meade, not letting her speak. Scarlett watched in amusement as she bit on her lower lip to keep from laughing.

"Is there something I can do for you both?"

Mrs. Elsing only glared at her, not wanting to be indebted to anyone especially Scarlett O'Hara. Mrs. Elsing's refusal to speak caused Mrs. Merriwether to do so.

"Scarlett I feel as if I were your mother. And I must tell you that you must watch over yourself. Under these circumstances I feel you should stay away from…"

"Ashley," Scarlett angrily finished as she stood up and glared at Mrs. Merriwether and Mrs. Elsing, who looked as if they agreed. "If you must know Mrs. Merriwether I have no intention of staying away from Ashley! I loved Melanie and she made me promise to take care of Ashley and Beau. And I will!"

"Now, Scarlett I didn't mean to pry. I only feel it is my duty as a Christian woman and one of your mothers dearest friends. Rest her soul. She would be concerned for your well being as I am, dear…" Mrs. Merriwether explained. "Where ever are your charming children?"

"They are resting."

"And how about Captain Butler?"

Scarlett froze as she heard Rhett's name. "Well… He had business to attend to in Charleston and promised he would join us later."

"My dear," Mrs. Merriwether continued. "I feel it's my duty to tell you to stay away from Ashley until Captain Butler comes home. We don't want any more gossip. Poor Ashley, he had handled more than he can bear."

"I wouldn't have Ashley on a platter anymore then I'd have you at my own funeral!" Scarlett snapped. "Let them talk, I say! I won't suffer because fat old buffalos like yourself don't have enough chivalry to keep your mouths shut. I have suffered enough of all your deceitful gossip. I shan't stand it any longer! Leave now."

"Well! I never thought I would here you conduct your self in such a deceitful way, Scarlett O'Hara! It was bad enough you married a Scalawag and chased after Ashley Wilkes… God will set judgment upon you. I only hope you will be forgiven…" Mrs. Merriwether said briskly as her face turned red with indignation.

"My name is Scarlett Butler and not O'Hara," she countered with clenched fists. "And furthermore you won't speak of my husband that way! He isn't anymore a Scalawag than you are a Christian!"

"Oh! That is enough out of you young lady! Our calling is over now, Mrs. Elsing. We shall never call here again. I will forgive you Scarlett but I can't find the sympathy to do it just yet." With not even a nod, Mrs. Merriwether trudged over towards the door as Mrs. Elsing stayed behind with a fuming glare.

"I have been waiting to tell you what I thought of you Scarlett O'Hara. Melanie had kept me quiet for years! And now she isn't here to save you and cloak your sins from the eyes of God! You will pay dearly for all the pain you have inflicted upon the goodness of people. You don't deserve forgiveness.

"You are only a flighty spoiled brat that doesn't deserve happiness. I am surprised that Captain Butler is still married to you! You haven't a heart and he has. You were rotten to him after his darling daughter died! It nearly killed him but did you have mercy? No! You didn't give him the time in the day. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth!" With all that said, Mrs. Elsing scowled at Scarlett with all the hatred she possessed and left, slamming the parlor door behind her.

To Scarlett the hateful words were like a slap to her face. She couldn't ignore the words nor laugh at them to make them go away. Sinking onto the plush settee; she had never felt so lonely and empty. Mrs. Elsing was right; she had been awful to Rhett. But was it true she didn't deserve forgiveness or happiness? For she could never imagine being happy again.

Wanting to reach the sanctuary of her room. And she did, falling onto the bed. But the tears wouldn't come. So many emotions over took her. Wanting to laugh, cry, scream and throw things. But most of all she wanted another drink.

Crawling forward, she grabbed her glass of brandy and downed it, not caring that some of the contents dribbled onto her coverlet. Swiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she froze as she heard another knock on her door.

Thinking of ignoring it, she poured herself another glass and knew she was getting tipsier by each cup. The knocking intensified.

"Miss Scarlett."

It was Cookie. With a sigh, Scarlett set down her glass and bid her to come in. The door opened and Cookie entered.

"Der is a visitor downstairs, Miss Scarlett."

"Tell them to go away," she ordered. "I'm busy…" But interest got the better of her. "Well, who is it?"

"It is Mistah Ashley."

TBC