Derek woke up and looked around. This wasn't his bed. Definitely not his room. He wasn't in his apartment. He was in Meredith's. A smile played on his lips as he laid there. He remembered her taking him to her room. He was tired. But instead of leaving him on the sofa, she let him in her bed. He rolled over, his face on her pillow and breathed in the soft scent that was uniquely hers.

"Do you plan on pulling yourself out of that bed anytime soon?" Mark asked as he peeked in the door.

"Mmm." Derek moaned as he looked up. "I guess so." He said as he flipped the covers off. "Where's Mer?" He asked as he looked up.

"In the bathroom." Mark told him as he pointed to the closed door. He could hear her retching. He did not want Derek to hear her. "Coffee's ready. Get dressed." Mark said as he shut the door, giving Derek privacy to get dressed.

"Morning." Meredith said as she stumbled into the bedroom. Derek looked up at her wet hair, laying on her shoulders.

"Good morning." Derek said with a smile as he worked on his belt. "Thanks for letting me sleep in here." He told her.

"That sofa is horrible." She said as she looked up. "Not to mention, you wouldn't have been able to move your head this morning."

"You do have a third bedroom." He pointed out.

"Yes, and the bed sucks. But next time, I can let you sleep in there. If you're going to complain..." She said with a giggle. "I couldn't so that to you." She said as she rubbed her back.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he walked over.

"Yeah. I just feel like I slept on that damn sofa." She said with a giggle.

"Do you want one of your pain pills?" He asked with concern.

"No. I'm okay." She lied as she put on her best face and marched to her table. She looked in the mirror at Derek as she brushed her hair. She couldn't take the pain pills. Not with the baby. Apparently she was doomed to suffer.

"Are you sure?" He asked as he watched her.

"Yep." She said with a grin as she walked out. Meredith filled Derek's cup, fixing it just the way he liked it. "Here you go..." She said as handed it to him.

"Thanks." He said with a smile. She made herself a cup of decaffeinated tea and sat down with her toast.

"Do you want some toast?" She asked him.

"That would be nice." Derek muttered.

"Well, there's the toaster and the bread... Do it your damn self." She joked.

"There's my Mer." Derek said with a laugh as he stood up and fixed his toast.

"So today is going to be fun." Mark said as he looked up from the paper.

"Why is that?" Derek asked.

"Well, the tension between Mer and Dr. Frenchy with be at an all time high." Mark pointed out.

"Seriously! Seriously? Did you really just bring that up?" Meredith asked.

"I guess I did." Mark said regrettably.

"Dr. Frenchy..." Derek said with a laugh.

"So what are you going to do?" Mark asked as he looked up at her.

"Do you really think I want to talk about this over breakfast?" She asked as she looked up at him with a glare.

"No. I guess not." Mark said with a sigh. "But you should have a game plan."

"You should." Derek agreed.

"I don't need your help. Either of you." She said as she looked between the two of them.

"Just trying to help." Mark muttered. Today would be fun...

---------------------

A game plan. They both said she needed a game plan. She was actually thinking she needed a good place to hide. Perhaps one of those things you climb in when you hunt ducks. Then she could jump in at the last minute. Right in the hallway of the hospital. Yep, no one would even notice that. She rolled her eyes as she drove. She was just praying she didn't hurt him. That would definitely be bad.

The first few hours were good. No Adrien. Nothing big. She had her interns working their butts off, and she had done a surgery. She glanced over at the board as she walked by. Adrien was scheduled for a valve replacement. Then she saw who was listed for the resident. Meredith Grey. Or not. She quickly grabbed a dry-erase marker out of her lab coat and changed the name to a third year resident. She smiled as she walked away. Eluded one again.

"Are you Dr. Grey?" A florist asked as he walked up and looked at her tag.

"I am." She nodded as she looked at him.

"These are for you." He said as he handed her a colorful bouquet with a card.

"Thanks." She muttered as she placed them on the countertop. She grabbed the card and opened it.

[iMeredith,

You will never know how

sorry I am. Please let me make it

up to you. Please give our love a chance.

Love, Adrien[/i

"You've got to be kidding me." Meredith said with a laugh.

"Oh wow! Who are those from?" Ellen Pierce said as she walked up, with Danny Carter and Dina Eastman. "They are beautiful..."

"I actually though they looked like the contents of a used colonoscopy bag." She said quickly.

"Ah... I see you got my flowers." Adrien said as he walked up from behind.

"I did." Meredith said coldly. "It was a complete waste of your time and money. Seeing how I don't give a shit about your sorry. Or you!" She said as she spun around.

"Meredith!" He said quickly.

"Okay. Eastman, Pierce and Carter. I have a special assignment for you." Meredith said with a smile as she grabbed the vase.

"Yes?" Dina asked softly.

"See these flowers?" She said with a smile. "I want you to give on to everyone on the third floor." She said as she handed it to her.

"Oh." Dina said as she grabbed the vase and looked at Adrien with a frown. "Right away." She said as she walked away.

"Dr. Eastman... Wait." Meredith said as she walked over to her.

"Yes?" She said as she stopped.

"I need one of this back." Meredith said as she grabbed a flower out of the huge vase. She walked back to Adrien with a huge smile on her face. She knew what was to come.

"Now... What were you going to say?" Meredith asked as she looked up at him.

"Well-" He started. Meredith quickly shoved the whole flower bud in his mouth, the stem sticking out.

"That's what I thought." She said with a smile as she walked away. "You're wasting your time." She shouted back. The nurses looked at her in shock as she laughed.

Meredith couldn't tear the smile off of her face as she walked to the cafeteria. She grabbed a few slices of pizza. With vegetables of course. She and Derek, they didn't do meat pizza anymore. She looked around, not seeing anyone. No Kristy. No Derek. No one. She decided she wasn't going to stick around. She made her way down to the basement. It was cold, rainy and dark outside, and the basement was an excellent place to hide. She paused as she heard voices. Her interns.

"Man... I don't know what de Gaulle did..." Carter said quickly.

"I know. He seriously pissed Grey off." Weathers pointed out.

"You weren't there. I heard she choked him to death with a flower." Pierce told them all.

"If she did that, he'd be dead, dumb-ass!" Mather said with a laugh.

"Not literally. But she did shove it down his throat." Ellen pointed out.

"I believe it. She can be really nasty." Carter told them. "I bet she's into S & M."

"Oh. I bet you're right. But she is definitely the master." Mather told him.

"I don't know guys. I don't think de Gaulle would be into that." Weathers argued.

"Yeah. You're right about that." Ellen agreed.

"Well, maybe that's why they're are fighting." Carter speculated. "What do you think, Red? You're her buddy."

"I think it isn't our business." Dina said softly.

"You're no fun." Mather said nastily. Meredith rolled her eyes and marched up.

"Get off your asses and get to work!" She yelled. They all looked at her and took off.

"Man, she's everywhere." She heard them say as they disappeared.

Meredith sat down on the gurney and started eating her pizza. It had never tasted better. She was starving. She was starving and she got Adrien good. Right in front of everyone. She smiled as she reflected back. Then she remembered why she was down in the basement. She pulled out her phone and dialed.

"Yes. I need to set up an appointment with Addison Montgomery." She said into her phone. "I do realize she has a tight schedule, but I am a good friend. Dr. Meredith Grey." She told them. She could hear them talking in the background, then she finally came back. "Thursday at four? That would be great. Thanks, thanks a lot." She said as she flipped her phone shut.

So one down. One more step forward. Now all she had to do was tell Derek. And she would. She had to. Tonight she would go talk to him. Lay it on the line. Explain how she was feeling. Tonight she would tell him he is going to be a father.

----------------

Meredith paced back and forth in her apartment. She was nervous. Jittery. Hell, she was scared to death. She had to tell Derek. Her appointment with Addison was in two days. He needed to know. Derek needed to know. So she paced. She felt sick. What if he didn't believe her? What if he said it was Adrien's. A knot quickly formed in her stomach as she thought about all of the what ifs.

She looked up at the clock. It was seven. She had been pacing for forty-five minutes. She needed to tell him. But yet she couldn't move her feet. Not in that direction. Not in the direction of the door. She was stuck in a path. She had walked herself into a rut. And now she didn't have the willpower to walk herself out.

[iOh my God. What if he's mad? He's going to be mad. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant with his love child. His divorce. How is that going to look? He's married and he got a woman pregnant. I'll lose her best friend, and Derek will lose everything he has worked for. God. How do I do this? I ruin everything. And now... This baby is going to have a horrible mother and a father that hates me. I can't tell him. No. I have to tell him. Meredith...You have to tell him. If you don't- You just have to tell him.[/i

"Aren't you a ball of nerves!" Mark said as he stood there, arms crossed.

"What?" Meredith said as she looked up. She hadn't even noticed him there.

"You. Wow. You look like you're going to implode." He said in shock. "I've been standing her for ten minutes. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Meredith said as she bit her lip and stared at the wall. "I just have something to do." She said as she finally stepped out of the track she had been in.

"Oh. Do you need help?" Mark asked as he looked into her scared eyes.

"I have to-- No." She said with a nod as she grabbed her purse and walked out the door.

"See you later then?" He asked as he watched her walk off, completely in a daze.

The thoughts flowed through her head. She wished she could just turn them off. It didn't work. Not even close. The knot in her stomach only got bigger. She wondered could it hurt the baby. Of course not, it wasn't a real knot. But the stress, she knew the stress wasn't good. And that's why she needed to do this. She needed to get it over with. She stood and looked at Derek's door. She sighed as her knuckles hit the door.

"Meredith!" Derek said in shock as she stood there, wide eyed. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" He asked as he gently pulled her in. "Mer?"

"I- Uh- I need to tell you something. I need to tell you things." She clarified.

"Okay. Do you want to sit down?" He asked as he looked at her. He could see the fear in her eyes.

"Uh- Uh-" She struggled to breath as her heart raced. "No. I need to- I just need to say it!" She gasped.

"Okay." He said with a smile. She took a deep breath in and started.

"It's you. It's always been you. It was always be you. I love you-" She said before being cut off.

"I love you too-" He said in shock that she was saying it.

"Shut up. I need to say this! I'm- I'm in love with you. You're the love of my life. My forever. My always. I need you to breathe. Every waking moment I think about you. I don't want to be without you. But I'm scared. I know you would never hurt me. Not intentionally. But you did. And it scares me. I can't do that again. I can't live that way. I can't go through that pain. So what I'm saying is that I love you, Derek. I love you so much it scares me. I love you so much, I feel like I can't live without you. But I'm scared and I'm not ready. Not yet. You are the one, I know that. But I need some time to think. I need to get my head straight. I need to feel safe on my own. I need to be stable enough. I need to be able to do it on my own even if I don't want to. I don't expect you to wait. If you find someone, don't wait. I don't know how long it will take me. Days, months, years. But I need to do this. I need to know that I can do this." She rambled as she looked up. She took a deep breath and looked into his bright eyes.

"Wow." Derek said in shock. "I- I love you. You know that. And take all the time you need. I'll wait. I'll wait forever. You are worth the wait." He said as he pulled her into an embrace. "You are definitely worth the wait." He repeated as he kissed her head.

"There's more." She said as her eye started to tear up. He looked at her. She was terrified of what she was going to say.

"Okay." He said as he pulled away.

"I don't know if I should tell you. I hope I'm doing the right thing. I don't want to- I hope it's okay... You need to know. I just-" She stammered as she dropped her head.

"Just say it. It's okay." He said with a nod.

"You're going to be a father." She said as she looked up at him.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" He said loudly. "Shit. The fucking divorce isn't even over and this? Son of a bitch." He said as he punched the wall. "Now what the fuck am I supposed to do?"

[iSee? You were right. He hates you. He hates you and he hates your baby. You are so stupid, Meredith. You foolish, foolish girl. One night of sex, and you have ruined lives. You have lost the love of your life. Alone. You will be alone. Alone with a kid. You should have just aborted it. Now it will suffer with you. Poor kid never had a chance.[/i

Meredith gasped for air. She couldn't breathe. Air was not filling her lungs. She felt weak. She felt sick. He hated her. She made a mistake. No air. Dying. No air. Feeling weak. No air. She felt her knees buckle as everything went black.

"Meredith? Oh my God." Derek said as he caught her.

This isn't as bad as it looks.