Pairing: Phoenix/Maya
Prompt: "I tried my best not to feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed."
Word Count: 1,211

When Phoenix got the invitation in the mail, he had to read it over again and again and again. His brain refused to believe it was true, refused to believe that Maya, his Maya, was getting married. Had it really been that long since her return from Khura'in? He'd lost track of the time. Three years had gone by since then. He knew she was seeing someone, but he'd always thought they would break up. He never figured Maya would marry the first man she dated. He'd been jealous, sure, but never worried. And maybe it was a mean thing to hope for, but he always imagined being there for her during her inevitable (to him) break up, being able to confess to her the feelings he'd developed over said three years after she'd healed a little, and she would tell him she felt the same and they'd live happily ever after.

Now that hope was gone. She was marrying this man. This man Phoenix never put in the effort to get to know. And she was inviting him to the wedding, having no idea of how he felt for her. The only thing that gave him solace was the photo attached to the invitation. Maya looked happy with her soon-to-be husband. Happier than he had managed to make her in the past three years, at any rate. If anything, it was nice to know she was happy.

He put the letter in his desk drawer. He wouldn't be RSVPing. There was no way he would be able to watch her get married to someone else, not now. He knew it was far too late to confess to her, so he would have to forget about her instead. He only hoped she would do the same.

Two months passed, and Phoenix focused on work, on mentoring Athena, and on making sure Trucy got into a good college. He did his best to forget about Maya and her upcoming nuptials. She called him a few times, all of which he ignored. Another invitation came in the mail, he assumed she thought maybe the first one had been lost.

When he ignored that one too, she seemed to give up. At least, he thought so, up until he heard a knock at the office door one evening. Curious who it could be during the office's closed hours, he opened it.

Maya stood in the doorway, peering up at him, dressed in a variation of her old acolyte robes. They were more flow-y and a deeper purple with dark embroidering. They made her look like royalty. She was beautiful.

"M-Maya… W-What are you doing here?" he stuttered.

"Nick… I wanted to come see you."

He blinked at her. He was caught off guard. He'd spent the last two months trying to forget about her, trying to reconcile with the fact that Maya wasn't his anymore. But then, she was never his to begin with, it was only now that he was realizing that.

"Oh… Why?" he asked, not sure what else to say.

Maya looked slightly hurt, and she scuffed the carpet with her sandal. "You… You didn't RSVP to the wedding. I was really hoping you'd be there," she said, smiling up at him. "I know we've drifted apart this past year, but I still consider you one of my closest friends. If not my closest. After everything we've been through how could I not?"

He attempted to swallow the lump in his throat. He wanted to be happy for her, he really did. He bit his lip. He supposed there was no other way but to tell her the truth. "Maya… I'm… glad that you're happy, but I can't come to your wedding."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Why not?"

He looked down, unable to look at her face anymore. "I just can't."

"Nick…" she said, reaching forward to touch his arm. He pulled away on instinct. Even her touch was too much now. She took a step back, taking offense to his reaction. "What did I do, Nick?" she asked.

"You didn't do anything, Maya," he said. "And I didn't do anything, either. That's the problem."

"I don't understand."

He sighed. "I tried my best not to feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed."

Maya's eyes widened as she realized what his words meant. "Nick…"

"I know. I don't expect anything from you. So long as you're happy with this new man then… that's all that matters to me, but I can't watch you marry him."

Maya sniffed, and he looked up in time to see a tear fall from her chin. She was shaking her head. "Why now, Nick?" she asked, her voice trembling. "Why did you have to admit it now?"

"I'm sorry—"

"Before I left for Khura'in, I confessed to you. I told you how I felt about you back then and you just… shrugged it off. Like it was nothing. Like it meant nothing to you, like you thought it was some kind of prank I was pulling on you. I thought that was your way of letting me down gently so I let it go and I moved on because you didn't feel the same. I met someone else and fell in love with him, but I always knew you'd be my closest friend, no matter what. Now, a month before my wedding, you pull this? What were you expecting would happen? Did you think I would cancel my wedding and leave my fiancé to be with you instead?"

"No, Maya, I never thought that. That's why I didn't RSVP. I didn't want to ruin your wedding by dumping this on you so suddenly, but you showed up here and… I just can't bear to see you marry another man. I can't lie. Back then, when you confessed, I was just confused. I didn't know how I felt about you and you were leaving anyway. I didn't have time to think about it. When you came back, that's when I knew. But by then you'd already met him. It was already too late."

"So that's it, then?" she asked, looking up at him. "Fifteen years of friendship down the drain because you can't do what I did and move on?"

"I'm sorry, Maya. Maybe at some point in the future… but not now."

She pressed her lips together, nodding as she did so, her tears streaming steadily now. "Fine then. I hope you have a nice rest of your life, Nick. I really do. I hope you find someone else eventually, like I did." She started to turn away, then paused. "But if you ever do manage to move on, you have my number," she murmured.

He nodded. "Thank you, Maya."

She gave him one last look before turning away and heading back down the hall. He watched her go with longing, the urge inside of him to run after her and beg her to give him a chance almost overpowering, but he couldn't do it. He'd done enough. It was time to leave her be, to let her begin a new chapter of her life with someone else, and to hope he made her as happy as she deserved to be.