Finding time to write at the moment has been really difficult - but when the inspiration came for this, I couldn't stop myself from writing it. I hope you're all okay :)

This is chapter 14 from Edward's point of view; his side of the story when he comes back to the Cullen home and confronts Alice about her interference with Bella, only to get reunited with her. It was requested in a review a while ago but I've only got round to writing it now.

I hope you enjoy it and, as always, your thoughts would be great, so please leave drop me a review at the end :)

Thanks!

When one lives for so long, it makes it even harder to live a perfect life. There is no time limit to the amount of mistakes you could make. The mistakes you make, however, seem to treble in monstrosity. The consequences, the amount of people hurt, just get larger and larger until you're completely buried amongst the rubble of your own selfishness. The worst of it all, you cannot blame anybody but yourself.

The moonlight was shimmering deep within the black depths of the night. Glancing up at it from time to time, it looked like me. Alone, stranded in the darkness.

But I was angry. There weren't words that could describe the tormented fury that was radiating from my skin in tsunami waves that crashed loudly in my ears.

Maybe that's why Alice knew I was coming. Perhaps that is why she greeted me outside my old home, in the open air, where emotions could be diluted in the cold of the night.

"What on Earth do you think you're doing?"

Alice only scowled, clearly frustrated at my tone of voice. I could not help it. To be kept in the dark for so long where Bella was concerned, to have no say in the matter, was excruciating. To know my views had been carelessly thrown aside and ignored due to a silly belief that we, as malicious vampires, could serve any purpose in being around her.

"When you've calmed down, I'd like to invite you inside where we can talk about this like adults we are." Her voice was calm, too calm. I wanted her to scream at me so I could warrant my own raging remarks.

My eyes narrowed. "You betrayed me."

"No, Edward, you betrayed Bella. Now, when you've calmed down, I'd like to inv-"

She didn't finish her sentence. Pushing past her, I forced my way into the house, ready to get some answers to the ridiculous scheme that had been plot behind my back. By my family, I just couldn't comprehend why such stupidity had been undergone.

The words that had momentarily formed in my mind evaporated. Any coherent thought I may have conjured, any sense of rationality I may have held onto, disappeared the moment the scent of her blood reached me.

It was as powerful as ever. A simple scent, as alluring as the very first time, rendered my speechless and completely incapable.

Mixed emotions fired through me, bullets to my head, over and over, bringing different points of view into coherence. I was filled with memories I'd tried to forget about, memories that I'd pushed aside because of the pain and misery on both of our parts.

I didn't want to remember them. Bella was not a blood bank, she was not a scent; she was a person, a beautiful girl who'd stolen my heart, resuscitated it inside her own sensitive body.

The memories forced me into anger.

"Why is Bella here?" I hissed.

I tried to remain calm, quiet. I could hear her gentle breaths, each one as delicate and as peaceful as I could remember; these memories were the ones I had cherished deep inside of me for all the time I had been hidden.

I focused all of my awareness onto Bella, answering jibes and remarks from Alice with my own snide comments. She had disobeyed the family's promise to stay away; she'd blatantly put aside everybody else's needs to see her best friend again.

I thought that was true, until Alice admits of the werewolves, of the interference from the other vampires.

The contradiction of thoughts in my mind tore my apart; to stay or to runaway. It was so difficult to be within such close proximity of Bella but to keep my presence hidden. I kept reassuring myself that it was for her benefit.

Our argument continued, hushed voices, snarled words that echoed in our minds. The words she spoke aloud were kind; the ones in her mind were much worse.

In the midst of our argument, I hadn't noticed the change in Bella's breathing. I hadn't been aware of the shifting of her body against the cotton material of the bed sheets. Only when Alice spoke the words aloud did my awareness focus in on the gentle footsteps that could be heard on the floorboards above.

Delicately, she came down the stairs. I was in a trance, a completely paralysed position that made it impossible for me to move, even an inch. My breaths had stopped; my eyes were glued to the staircase, listening to the frantic heartbeat in her chest.

She came into view, a ghost of a memory. This wasn't the Bella that I'd left behind; standing in front of me, she wasn't a healthy weight with beautiful rosy cheeks or glossy hair.

Her face was gaunt, her expression a mix of determination and gut-wrenching worry. It was her body that scarred me, so small, so fragile, so very thin. She looked like a feather would knock her over; a simple breeze would cause the stability of her legs to crumble.

Had I done this to her? Had I caused her so much pain that had altered her so much?

Her eyes… so brown and deep… were no longer filled with undeniable love, but anger, frustration and hatred; not that I could blame her.

So much had altered, because of me, and yet she still had the beauty to catch my breath. Hidden deep within the lack of health, I saw my Bella and the person she used to me; beautiful, kind, caring.

"Bella," I whispered.

"Edward, I…" It was croaky, rough, and quiet; but it was a voice. It was Bella's voice.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry!" It was all I could say, all I could offer; a measly apology that I shouted across the room at her, emotion crumbling the words into a mess on the floor in front of her. Pathetic attempt at a consolation for all I'd caused her.

She talked to me, asked me why. Why? Such a simple question that was so hard to answer. Why? I asked myself the very same question, tried to revive some of the answer I'd forced myself to believe.

"I could stand here and waste my pathetic mortal life naming every possible name I could think of to describe how stupid you are, Edward Cullen," she hissed. "I could stand here and call you every name under the sun. Alice has already used some of the ones on the very long list. But I'll just use some, shall I?"

The words caused a dull ache, a throbbing pain in my mind. It was nothing more than I deserve but the realisation that I'd damaged her so was beyond thinkable.

Arrogant, selfish, delusional; the words that tumbled from Bella's mouth were so strong, so determined. They were part of the new Bella that I'd help to create.

Listening to every word that she spat at me, I felt a blow. An agonising blow with the power to knock me to the floor and hold me there forever; they held a strength that only Bella could conjure. It was the power she had over me, the power I chose to ignore for the greater good. For her greater good.

I tried to tell her, to explain in feeble words that it was such an agonisingly lonely place for me to be, when I hid away.

"You hid away?" she shouted back at me, swinging her arms and walking towards me. "You hid away? Okay. Well, where was my privilege, eh?"

Her hand hit my chest. The impact was light, I hardly felt the pressure; but the action, the intent, the motive behind the strike hurt. She could have driven a stake through my heart, set me on fire. It took all my strength to stand up straight.

When she tried to hit me again, I caught her arm gently. If she felt it necessary, she could cause me as much pain as possible – she could throw things at me, shoot angry words at me, but nothing that could potentially cause her damage in the process.

It was then, with my hand cautiously wrapped around her arm, that I realised I was touching Bella. I could feel her pulse in her arm, the throb of the blood pumping furiously with adrenaline. If I applied a small amount of pressure, I could feel the fragility of her bone.

I pulled it down from the air, cradled it in my hands. I was touching her soft, pale skin. I felt the small bump in the back of her hand, where Alice's thoughts told me a drip had been inserted when Bella refused to eat.

After a moment, she yanked her hand out of mine. A swift movement that blocked my throat with emotion; she was crying now too. I reached forwards, to wipe away the tear with one of my fingers. When my hand fell back to my side, I rubbed the salty bead of liquid between my two fingers, evidence of her upset.

"Are you going to leave me again?" Her voice was barely audible, even for me. A whisper, a croak, as if she was afraid to say the words aloud; I think she was scared of the reality, that she'd scared me away with her brutal honesty.

I reassured her as quickly as I could. "I… I don't think I could, even if I wanted to."

She began to talk about responsibility, as if being with her was like a chore. The way she said it, it was as if I'd only been with her because of her safety, forgetting the overpowering love I felt for her, the connection I had, the care I wanted to provide for her.

"I need to sleep," she said quietly. I'd forgotten it was the middle of the night. "Will you be gone in the morning?"

"No. Not unless you want me to go."

If she'd said otherwise, I don't know how I would have been able to pull myself away. There were so many ways that I wanted to repent for all of the misery I'd caused her. When she asked if I was really sorry, I admitted my hate for myself.

I wasn't expecting sympathy or forgiveness. I was simply trying to tell her how much it had affected me too, to see her as weak and fragile as she was standing in front of me. How could I not hate myself, after all I had done to her?

"So you're willing to do anything?"

"Anything."

"Sit there." She had pointed to an arm chair across from the couch, which she stumbled over to, as I took my place in my designated chair.

I could not tear my eyes away as I watched her pull a blanket from a collection to the side of her, cover her body in the thin material and whisper goodnight into the darkened room.

When Alice had returned upstairs, the silence became too much. It was awkward and difficult, so many things that I still wanted to admit, to assure her of.

"May I… may I tell you something?" I asked quietly. I didn't want to disturb her if she had already fallen asleep. I wouldn't blame her, she looked exhausted. Every part of her body screamed for the chance to be revitalised.

"Tell me what?" She seemed wary.

"You might deem it as inappropriate," I admitted.

"What is it?"

I took a small breath and gazed at her face through the darkness. "I… I'm still in love with you, Bella, and I'll never forgive myself for the way I treated you."

Our eyes met somehow in the darkness. Could she see me properly? Her eyes were wide and fearful, but they drooped several times with the weight of her tiredness. Only when she began to shake, did I ask her if she was okay.

"Are you cold?"

"No, why?"

"You're shaking. Are you ill?"

"No."

"You should go to sleep, Bella."

"I'll add patronising to the list, as well."

"I'm … I…" I sighed in defeat, unsure what else to say. "You don't believe I'm going to stay, do you?"

"Can you blame me, Edward?"

No, I couldn't blame her for a second. The only ounce of assurance I could gain from the situation was that she was scared I was going to leave. If I analysed this backwards, it suggested she wanted me to stay. It was a single step, perhaps even a stumble, in the right direction to making things right again.

"Edward, I… I still love you too. Even after everything, I still love you. It's strange, because for so long I've wanted you to come back to me… and now you're here, I'm just so angry."

I could understand her thoughts, her confusion, and her mixed emotions. It was a lifeline for me to grasp in my moments of desperation, that she still felt as I did, that there was a foundation on which we could rebuild our relationship.

"Maybe you could sit here?" She was pointing to the floor beside the couch where she was lying. I moved instantly, my back against the couch, my neck turned so I could read Bella's expression.

"I will spend forever making it up to you, Bella." It was a promise, eternally binding with the strength of my love.

As if the words were the password, her hand crept out from underneath the blanket and found my own. I remained perfectly still as her chapped lips grazed my fingers, her breath warm on my skin.

Slowly, she fell asleep. Her eyes closed softly, her dark lashes contrasting with the pale of her cheeks. With her breaths deep and heavy, I noticed the scent of her again.

It wasn't just the scent of her blood I noticed this time. After becoming used to the overwhelming luscious scent of the blood, the scents of Bella became apparent to me. Not her blood, but the scent of her shampoo, her hair washed and conditioned with her favourite brand. The scent of popcorn on her tongue, mildly disguised with Minty toothpaste.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. My hand remained in hers, the pulse still throbbing rhythmically whilst she continued to sleep on. I examined the damage further, trying to contemplate how she had gotten so thin, how she looked so exhausted.

"You know"- I looked up from Bella to see Alice standing on the stairs – "she was much worse than this when I got back." Her voice was soft, not accusing or malicious, just matter of fact.

I gave a small nod.

"It took a lot of work to get her out of there. An adolescent unit isn't a place for a broken heart, no matter how depressed they thought she was."

Walking over to sit on the coffee table silently, I let my eyes wander over to my dainty sister watching me closely.

"It wasn't easy for me, you know. To just ignore you. To just forget about you." Alice gave a small sideways smile, an attempt at forgiveness. "I'll say I told you so, but I think Bella has given you enough of a hard time."

"I deserved it."

"Yeah, you did," Alice replied smartly. She leaned forwards and took my spare hand in her own, rubbing comforting circles on the back of my hand. "But, well, you're my brother and I still love you, no matter what you've done."

After she gave my hand a small squeeze, Alice stood up quietly and leant down to give Bella a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

As she turned to make her way back upstairs, I whispered for her to turn back around.

"Thank you, Alice… and I really mean that," I said quietly as I gave Bella's hand the softest of squeezes.