The Spirit World

An Inevitable Reunion

I was lying on my back, facing the sky. The moment I opened my eyes, my head began to throb like a beating drum. I blinked and tried to recognise my environment – everything was so bright, it was like being outside on an abnormally sunny day. I took a deep breath and attempted to sit up. Slowly I regained enough balance and strength to stand. I brushed my hair back and neatly adjusted my clothes.

There were lots of trees – all tall and ancient-looking – populating islands of floating earth. Their strong branches spread out to form nature's umbrellas, not that there were any signs of rain. There was a mysterious river that seemed to disappear into the misty distance, and it seemed to me that I was standing in the middle of a long marble bridge. Curious of what lurked below, I glanced over the side of the railing to gaze into what seemed to be water. Flashes of silver, yellow and red, darted vibrantly below a rippling curtain of gold. I stood there, amazed at their beauty.

"Welcome back, Mi Li," greeted a familiar voice.

My body tensed, and I turned slowly to him. "Avatar Roku, greetings," I addressed politely, before bowing on my hands and knees. He chuckled warmly.

"You may rise," he commanded, "but you do realise why you are here?" His voice was more serious.

I hesitated as I tried to remember. I swallowed hard.

"I did something I shouldn't have. I… I entered the Spiritual State for reasons that were not a matter of life or death," I admitted, staring at the ground.

"That is merely the problem. You thought you could handle the power. You thought you could push yourself as far as you did. You tempted fate." I didn't dare to look into his eyes. "You've already been extremely lucky in your life to have escaped so many misfortunes, although some events were inevitable. But now that you are in the blossoming stage of your spiritual development, you risk wasting every effort made by the people around you. Furthermore, you disregarded a direct instruction from Aang. That is disrespectful, reckless and inconsiderate," he finished on a stern tone.

I could only remain silent. Now that I had thought about it, I realised just how much I did put at risk – my parents' efforts, and that of my other friends and family, would have been thrown away and wasted in the blink of an eye.

"Well, at least you understand now. Do you understand, Ming Mi Li? Look at me." I widened my eyes when he addressed me by my full name. I gazed up fearfully.

"Yes, I understand," was all I managed to whisper.

"Good," he nodded, "I don't want you to disobey instructions like that again. The next time, you may not be so lucky. In fact, you're not out of the darkness just yet – your actions bear consequences that are beyond my control. You do realise where you are, don't you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. By now I was quite sure where I was.

I nodded. "The Spirit World." It wasn't a question.

"Indeed, you're correct – the Spirit World. And you know what that means. This bridge that you're standing on… it's no ordinary bridge." Then something is his pose changed and he looked at me with grim eyes. "In the mortal world, Mi Li, you're in a very critical state: you're in a coma. This is the bridge between two parts of the Spirit World; the West, where only those who've been laid to rest can reside," he gestured to one side of the bridge, "and the East where immortal spirits, such as Hei Bai, like to spend their time," he gestured to the opposite side.

"If you remember your last visit, you could only roam the East end of the Spirit World. That still holds true… provided you are a living soul. But right now, you are neither dead nor alive. If your will to live is weak, your soul will leave your body. Then you'll be free to join your family in the West, where the dead are waiting. You may take your time to decide, but make sure you consider everything. Your fate will not be decided until the moment you leave this bridge. All you need to do is choose your future, and set foot on the corresponding side," he explained, gazing at me with eyes of infinite knowledge.

"Choose wisely," he instructed gravely, before fading into a mist and disappearing with the breeze. I froze with panic, aware of the situation I was in.

"Mi Li!" called a voice from my distant memories. Could it be? But I stayed petrified, not wanting to be influenced by my deepest desires.

"Mi Li!" called two voices now. This time they sounded closer. Now I could hear footsteps tapping rhythmically on the marble, approaching me from the West end of the bridge. But I couldn't see if there was really anyone there – a thick fog masked the West Island. I shook my head and turned my back to the voices. No, no, no. It can't really be them. Then, like a stabbing pain, flashed the memory of a horrible nightmare I had often suffered in my first two years of separation from my parents.

There they were, lying on blood-soaked earth – both were on the brink of death, with arrows in their bodies and deep gashes in their flesh, blood dripping from every wound. They reached their hands out for me like corpses raised from the grave, coughing on their own blood, struggling to call my name. And I, a small child, stood at a distance in a state of shock. Then a soldier would appear out of the darkness behind me, cover my mouth with his hand and with the resounding crack of tender bones, the whole world would fall into darkness and doom.

I jolted and gasped sharply at the vivid return of my traumatic nightmare. I whimpered, and crumpled into a ball, hiding my head in my lap. I didn't want to look up. I didn't want to see the terrifying image that haunted my sleepless nights. I had heard of evil spirits – ones that knew your fears. They took the form of your worst fear to torment you. If I didn't look, it would get bored and leave me alone… hopefully. I curled up even tighter, sitting rigidly on the warm marble, and squint my eyes firmly shut. Go away, please go away. Don't do this to me. Please… I prayed.

Then a gentle and warm hand held my shoulder. I jittered from the touch and tried to swivel away without dropping my security. But the hand returned. This time, it held me firmly.

"Mi Li, we know you're scared. But it's us, it really is. Please, open your eyes," encouraged the voice of my mother.

I wanted to look up so desperately, but I was too afraid to face my fears again. I couldn't help the pressure that began to build up inside me. By now, tears were brewing behind my closed eyelids, ready to boil-over at any moment.

"Mi Li, be brave. Remember what I told you," reminded the voice of my father.

I shook my head determinedly, but decided that if I didn't take a risk I would never know – after all, I'd been taking risks for so long. My heart beat like a galloping Bull-antelope, and the blood coursed through my veins like fresh lava. Slowly, I raised my head and peeked over my knees with the caution of a young fawn.

Much to my relief, my fears had been just that – an illusion. Bending down in front of me were my parents, both smiling and expressing the same relief as I. My father wore his General's armour with pride, and my mother wore her elegant Southern Water Tribe dress. Together, they resembled the image of love that I had prayed they would be.

Then I couldn't contain my grief any longer. The warmth rushed to my face and the tears began flowing in torrents. Then, a wailing sob broke free and I was pulled into the long-absent arms of my mother and father. I cried into their bodies to muffle my pain, as I would have done six years ago. There was nothing that could rein my anguish. And soon, my mother had joined me in our despair. My father remained strong, but his emotions still radiated through his broad steel chest.

I had longed so deeply for us to be together, and now that we finally were, I didn't want anything else except for us to stay this way. Our bodies were so close that I could smell their scents. Sweet and gentle was my mother's. Strong and wise was my father's. Wanting only to be smothered by their presence, I pulled myself deeper into their embraces. I didn't ever want to leave.

"Mi Li… my dear Xiao Mi," comforted my mother as she lovingly stroked my hair.

But I continued to shake from the violent sobs. It seemed like forever before I was calm enough to actually speak. Even so, I wanted to listen to what they had to say: they could hear me anytime.

"Mi Li, we're so proud of you. You've managed to achieve so much despite the fact that you've been through so many unfortunate events," started my father. "You found my sword, your mother's necklace, you organised a funeral for us, you're the Avatar's Disciple, and you're learning to master your elements to do good things – that's a lot of responsibility. You've survived for so long without us and become stronger than the both of us combined. I'm very proud of you. I know you will wield my sword with honour," he said softly, before pulling me into another embrace. A second wave of emotion came over me, but I choked back the tears.

"You've grown to be so beautiful," my mother commented, stroking my hair behind my ear. "And you've learned to be such a lady. But I'm most pleased with your bending, Mi Li. You've already mastered water – I knew you could do it. You're a natural." She smiled serenely. I smiled with her.

"Thanks, mom," I replied, shifting out of my father's arms to embrace her. "I've missed you both so much…" I whispered under my breath, as I wrapped my arms tightly around her neck.

"We know, Mi Li… we know," she whispered back, with pain etched in her voice.

"You shouldn't have done that, Mi Li. That was a very dangerous manoeuvre. You could have killed yourself instantly," my father scolded me out of nowhere. I broke out of my mother's embrace and looked down.

"I just wanted to help. Besides, I had to prove that I wasn't weak. Everyone looks at me and thinks that I need to be protected – I hate it," I defended myself vigorously.

"But look at what's happened, Mi Li. You're risking your life! We don't want you to do this to yourself. You don't need to prove anything. Everyone is happy with the way you are and everyone is willing to help you if you need it. There is no need to make yourself seem stronger or less vulnerable than you are. Just be you," he commanded.

I nodded. "I'm sorry, father. I promise not to do that again," I apologised, not wanting to argue anymore.

"That's good, Mi Li. But what you did was very impressive. The healing worked the moment you entered the Spiritual State. Now, Zuko's scare is nothing more than a patch of sensitive skin. He's amazed at your abilities, but you gave him quite a shock when you passed out. We aren't the only ones who can see just how valuable you are. If I'm correct, you have a number of male admirers," my mother teased as I blushed feverishly.

"What are you talking about? They're just friends," I said, feeling uncomfortable.

She giggled. "I know they are just friends, but they do admire you a lot. We can see everything that goes on, Mi Li. We know exactly what's been happening," she said with a mischievous grin. My father couldn't help sharing the same expression. I sighed and turned away in embarrassment.

"Do we really need to talk about this?" I groaned.

"Don't worry, Mi Li. We're happy for you. You need to be with people who care about you and love you for who you are. Speaking of which, those are some rather nice boys who you call 'friends'. I'm really wondering why you still don't have a boyfriend..." she suggested with a slightly devilish tone. My jaw dropped.

"Mum!" I exclaimed, before hiding my face in my hands. How humiliating and completely irrelevant to the situation!

"Oh, but it's not entirely irrelevant. We want you to have a happy future," added my father as he read my mind. By now, nothing was a surprise – this was the Spirit World after all. I just shook my head in frustration. Did we really have to talk about this?

"Of course we do, Mi Li. You know us mothers – we love sharing gossip… especially about our daughters. Personally, I think that Zuko would be best for you," she suggested out of nowhere, catching me off-guard.

"What? Zuko is just a friend… he never admired me," I refuted.

"Well, he may be a friend to you. But what you've done for him… he feels very grateful. When he realised just how much you sacrificed for him, he began to see you differently. He even admitted that he loved you, not more than a moment ago."

My eyes were wide-open, even though they were slightly sore and swollen from crying. "No, it can't be. He has a girlfriend – Mai."

My shook his head. "But they aren't doing very well together, you know that. Even if they did stay together, they probably wouldn't last long in a marriage: which is inevitable because Zuko is the Fire Lord. But never mind Zuko – there are plenty of others to choose from. Haru has always been a favourite of mine. He's a good boy. He always listened to me and he was very protective of you. You need that kind of man. And now, seeing how much he's grown and how powerful he's become, I don't know why you would even bother considering the others," argued my father with a sort of smug expression.

"It's… complicated, dad. You'd know – you've been watching everything this whole time," I stated bluntly, glaring at them for invading so much of my privacy. Then again, I don't blame them entirely – it must get really boring in the Spirit World.

He chuckled. "I know, Mi Li. But we're only suggesting. I think you'll be fine with whoever you choose. You're a big girl now. I know you can make your own choices." He smiled and patted my shoulder.

"I still prefer Zuko. Haru has gotten overly ambitious and obsessive – not that it's bad, it's just nothing like the boy I remember in that old mining village," explained my mother with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"That's exactly what I think," I agreed in a solemn tone. "And it's all because of me."

"No, Mi Li. You've brought out the best in him. You've made him a man – a good one. Don't regret it," comforted my father. I sighed.

My mother rolled her eyes. "But I'm telling you both – Zuko is the one for you, Mi Li. You've changed him in a way that no one else could. You've shown him a new side of life – he can see a bright future with you, but not with Mai. Besides, he's the Fire Lord… and Avatar Roku's great-grandson," argued my mother, raising an eyebrow. I trembled. "We've spoken with Avatar Roku many times, and Roku would be very honoured to have you as his great-granddaughter-in-law. Please don't disappoint him… and us," she finished with the gentlest smile I had seen. But I was not persuaded, to say the least.

"Mum! You're arranging my marriage for me?" I shouted, completely mortified. She and my father laughed.

"No! Of course not! We're just advising you on your options. But I am telling you that Zuko is the best of them all," she persisted. I groaned and hid my face in my hands. "Oh, and don't even consider Toshiro: his family is corrupted. His parents don't like you but the reason why they treat you so well is because you're the Princess. But once they found that you and Toshiro were getting along so well, they decided to use it to their advantage in the hope that one day the two of you would marry and then their family would gain a high status." She scoffed.

"But Toshiro is not like that! He hates his parents." I refuted.

My father nodded. "We know, but we're telling you that you don't want to be in that environment, Mi Li. When you left, Toshiro even said himself that he hopes you don't return: because if you did his parents would get their satisfaction from you. He doesn't want to make you feel used," explained my father in a collected manner.

"But they'll win either way, whether I'm there or not. If I return, take up the throne, and marry him, they'll get what they want. If I don't return, Toshiro will become the next chief and they'll still get their way. Where I am doesn't make a diff–"

"Unless you don't marry him: then you can be a royal without Toshiro's parents having their way. But then who would you marry? It would be lonely for you and him. You have to get married eventually – it's the only way that you can maintain your royal status in the Northern Water Tribe. If you can't provide any heirs to the throne, they can't consider you. Do you really want to live that kind of life?" he asked, gazing at me thoughtfully. I sighed and looked at the ground.

"No."

"Then that's not the way to go. Besides, Toshiro can find someone else. He doesn't really need you. At one time, you needed someone and he was there for you, but maybe it's best if you two went your separate ways now. Politics, particularly in the Northern Water Tribe, have always been strict and one-sided. Of course, the same could be said about the Fire Nation, but things are changing and the future will be much better in terms of freedom."

"So now what? Should I just abandon the Northern Water Tribe and leave everything to Toshiro?"

"Well, that's your choice. But he will be able to handle things without you, we're sure. That… and he will have absolutely no problems with finding a girlfriend. There's already a horde of girls spying on his every move," added my mother with a chuckle. My father couldn't help laughing too. I just smiled half-heartedly.

"Really?" I needed assurance. They both nodded honestly. Surrendering, I took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay. Now can we talk about something else?" They smiled and nodded again. "How is it that I'm even royalty?" My mother was the most eager to explain.

"Way back in our family history, our ancestors had lived in the Northern Water Tribe. They were royalty of course, but there was a dispute between the family members. Apparently, it was between two brothers who both wanted the throne, and they were twins. You can imagine what it would've been like to listen to them arguing about who was more fit to be Chief. It was a chaotic dispute that divided the family. In the end, the younger brother was sent away, banished from the Northern Water Tribe. He travelled to the South and made a living as a simple fisherman and warrior. He found a different way of living, and it was then that he met the woman who became his wife." She sighed.

"Our family never returned to the North, until the war began, but some of our family members stayed behind. My grandparents stayed, but my granduncles and grandaunts migrated with their children. They survived the trip and were accepted by the city. It was years later, when things had gotten much worse, that my parents and I finally decided to move. But some Fire Nation ships found us and raided our boat. I asked them to spare my parents, which they did, but they took me hostage. I wasn't sure if my parents could make the trip without me, but they did, thankfully," she finished. I nodded with interest.

Suddenly, my father placed a hand on my shoulder. "Oh, I just remembered. You found our secret chest at the house. I'm very glad that you were able to find it. I was even more astonished when you opened it yourself," he commented, pulling me into his arms. I giggled, and smiled.

"It wasn't that hard. But I found everything inside: I was so relieved that nothing was destroyed. But what do you want me to do with it all?"

"You can keep them, and burn whatever you don't need," he stated casually.

"Burn them? I wouldn't burn anything!" I exclaimed and pulled away from him. I was shocked at his instruction.

"Well, suit yourself. But you'll find that when you're dead, you don't really care about keeping any materialistic objects, because you can't," he joked with a chuckle.

I just stared at him, saddened by his remark. "Oh. Yeah, I almost forgot," I whispered, looking at my hands.

"Jeom!" chided my mother, as she slapped him irately across the shoulder. He cleared his throat.

"You know I didn't mean that, Kanari – it was a slip of the tongue. Sorry, Mi Li. I shouldn't have been so blunt like that. Come here," he apologised, inviting me into his arms as I felt the heaviness of my heart once more. The three of us stayed silent for a long moment.

"Mi Li, you've been in a coma for almost two days now. You have to make your decision soon so that you can return to the mortal world," my mother reminded me earnestly. My gut wrenched painfully at the reminder.

"But how is that possible? It doesn't even feel like it's been two days! It's only been a few hours. I don't want to have to go… I'm not ready," I started to whine.

My father stroked my hair gently. "Mi Li, time works differently in the Spirit World. I know it's hard to believe, but you have to go. And you know that we would rather not have you with us. Our time is over, but you still have a life to lead. We can't be selfish like this. This is not your time," my father explained calmly.

"But we just got together! This isn't fair!" I cried out.

"Nothing is ever fair, my dear. You win some and you lose some – that's the way it has always been. You still have a life. It's an opportunity to make a difference to the world – take it. You've come so far, keep going," my mother persuaded.

"Listen to your mother. You can't follow us back. Otherwise, everything that we've done, and everything that your friends and family have done, will be for nothing. Make us even prouder, Mi Li. We'll always be able to see you, even if you can't see us. And one, one day… we will be together, but not now. You know, most people don't even get to choose whether to live or die – but you're lucky because you can. So promise us you'll live and make the most of your life," added my father, his voice full of authority.

I nodded weakly at their requests. As much as I was tempted to leave all my worldly hardships behind, I knew that a true leader stayed fighting until the last moment – like my father. He smiled.

"It has been my dream to pass my skills onto you, but I suppose that won't happen. You'll have to find someone else to teach you. My sword is now yours." He embraced me one last time as I closed my eyes. "And remember, the energy of a firebender, comes from the heart. Keep your heart strong, and your firebending will be at its most powerful. I know you can do it."

I nodded in his tight embrace, as the tears began to flow relentlessly once more. My mother joined in the embrace, and for a moment we were one single undivided family… as we should be.

"Just remember that we'll always be with you, Mi Li. We'll follow you in your heart. Every achievement, every hardship – we'll share your experiences. Don't think you're alone." These were the final words of my mother.

Then they pulled me out of their embrace, and gestured me in the direction of the East side of the Spirit World. I kept my body facing them, as I took small steps backwards. My mother began to weep, and my father stared absently in my direction as I continued to move further and further away. I didn't look away, afraid that I might lose sight of them, so I took careful steps.

I was about twenty paces away from them when I had the feeling of having reached the other side. I stood there for a moment – like a sculpture with no real purpose – and took a mental portrait of my parents, so that I could remember what they looked like. My mother was standing beside my father, as he held her securely by the waist. The both of them gazed at me, looking younger and happier than I had ever remembered them. I smiled one final time.

"I love you!" I called to them, as loud as I could.

"We love you too!" they shouted together, waving their hands in farewell.

Then, a tear of mixed emotions escaped, and I made my final step onto the grass that marked the East boundary of the Spirit World.

Then the world whizzed around me, disappearing into a twister of ash, and I gasped as I fell quickly down to earth. I saw a bright blue light around me as I plummeted through the clouds. I shouted desperately, "No!" I opened my eyes and jolted upright, gasping for air. A hand grabbed mine, and I turned to the point of contact. It was Zuko. But I didn't care who it was, I felt lost. My life-long search for my parents had come to an end, only to reward me with a small moment of reunion.

I broke down into a state of emotional pandemonium and cried miserably into my hands. Zuko suddenly pulled me into an embrace, cradling me gently in his arms. Immediately there was the sound of footsteps approaching the room, followed by a strange silence. I looked up and saw Mai in the doorway. Zuko followed my gaze, but didn't seem to move. I quickly ceased my sobs, only to have Mai stomping furiously out. I began to worry.

"Zuko, you have to follow her," I pleaded him.

"Why?" he asked, without showing the slightest expression of care.

"Please, just go. She needs you now. I'm fine."

I wiped away my tears and smiled as best as I could. He was reluctant, but he complied. He helped me to lie down before he pulled the covers over me. With a worried glance, he left the room, closing the door quietly. I suppose the things my parents said about him are true. What a mess I've got myself into! But I was too exhausted to pursue the matter further. I relaxed into the bed and closed my eyes, feeling too weak and heartsick to deal with any of my life's tangled troubles.