Lose Yourself
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone from One Tree Hill!
A/N: So who wants to be the first person to kill me after not updating for so long? I totally deserve it lol! I am so sorry! But my summer has started and I have just been so busy that I haven't really had time to sit down and write, never mind think about it. I am sorry for the delay, but now that the novelty of the summer (and my money gone) has worn off (and with some of my best friends all being on holiday this week!) I will try and get another chapter posted soon!
So, I hope you enjoy the chapter, again it has a couple of time jumps, but I think it's right to do it at this point in the story.
"What the hell are you doing here Jake?" Lucas asked angrily as he eyed Jake up and down in disgust, the guy looked like he hadn't showered in days.
"I could ask you the same thing" Jake smirked as he looked from Lucas to Brooke then back to Lucas again. "I thought you did a bunk on this girl back in High School?"
"Shut it" Lucas warned fiercely before turning to face his ex-girlfriend "Brooke...could you give us a moment please?" he spoke quietly to her so only she could hear.
Brooke looked hesitant as she sent a quick glance at Jake before answering. "Do you think that's a good idea?" she asked almost nervously. "I don't want you getting involved in his mess again..." she trailed quietly.
"I won't be" Lucas said softly as he gently placed his hand on her bare arm "Please? I promise this is completely legit"
"Okay" Brooke sighed "Come find me when you're done" she mumbled before turning around and leaving. Lucas watched her leave with his eyes before turning his attention back to his old alliance.
"Why are you here, Jake?" Lucas asked in a cold and bitter tone.
Jake shrugged as he walked to the side of Lucas and leaned against the bar "I wanted a drink, this is a bar, right?" he smirked.
"I meant in Tree Hill" Lucas muttered not in the mood for Jake's smart talk.
Again Jake let out another shrug "Oh you know me, Luke, there's no place like home"
Lucas sighed and looked around the bar before turning back to the smaller brunette "Are you still dealing?" he asked quietly.
Jake let out a sneaky smile and eyed him interestingly. "Why? You want in on it?" he asked while smirking.
Lucas looked at him intently and took a step towards him "What do you think!" he hissed. "I'm clean now, so stay away from me, okay?"
Jake laughed and shook his head in disbelief "Please!" he scoffed "You wont last long!"
"I have a family now, I'm finally getting my life straight! The last thing I need right now is you coming back here and fucking things up for me again!" Lucas accused him angrily.
"What you mean with Brooke Davis?" Jake asked with a dry chuckle. "And how long will it take for you to up and leave again once you get bored?"
"It wasn't like that before!" Lucas hissed at him, trying to defend his past actions. "I have a daughter to think about now and I love both her and Brooke, so Jake, just stay away, okay?" he warned him in a threatening tone.
Jake laughed and shrugged "Sure" he agreed before continuing "But it's a small town" he told Lucas and the blonde frowned wondering if there was any hidden meanings in those words. "So maybe I will see you around" Jake finished before patting Lucas half heartedly on the shoulder and walking to the other side of the bar.
Lucas watched him leave with a glare as he felt his fists clench and unclench by his side. Jake Jagelski could always get under his skin, and this time was no different.
"I cant believe you told Haley about us!" Nathan accused Rachel angrily as the two stood in a quiet corner of the club. "Are you stupid or something!"
"Oh please!" Rachel scoffed in disbelief "She already knew by the time Julian had finished! I'm not stupid and neither is she!"
"Yeah well you aren't exactly smart either! I thought we agreed to keep what happened between us a secret!" Nathan shouted at her angrily.
"And I did!" Rachel defended while raising her voice.
"Well then how the hell did Julian know? Because I certainly didn't tell him!"
"Well I didn't either!" Rachel argued back. "Look" she sighed as she took a breath to calm herself down. "It doesn't matter how Julian found out, Haley knows now and it's done, there isn't anything we can do about it"
"She doesn't deserve this" Nathan muttered and shook his head annoyed.
"Yeah well life isn't fair, is it?" Rachel shrugged in a defeated tone. "Look, just go and talk to Haley, blame everything on me, say you were drunk and I took advantage, I don't care Nathan, just sort it out with her" she said as the guilt started to kick in.
"Yeah and how is that fair?" Nathan asked while shaking his head, even he wasn't as selfish to shove all the blame on Rachel, after all, it takes two to tango.
"Me and Haley weren't even that close anyway" Rachel told him in a plain voice. "Just go and try and make things right with her, I will take all the blame"
Nathan frowned "I don't know Rachel..."
"Fine" Rachel huffed "I am just trying to help you out here, you know, help you fix things!" she spat at him coldly. "Obviously I shouldn't have bothered!"
Nathan's frown deepened "Why are you getting angry with me?" he asked confused.
"Because your an ass!" Rachel hissed at him angrily before storming past him and back into the crowds of the club. Nathan watched on confused, he could never understand women but Rachel Gatina really was something else.
"Thanks" Brooke spoke quietly as Lucas handed over Grace's backpack the next day while dropping her off back home after spending the day with his daughter.
Lucas frowned and dug his hands deep into his pockets as he watched Brooke distance herself from him further, he knew it had something to do with Jake being back, when he caught back up with her in Tric last night she barely spoke a word other than that she was tired and was going home, at first he thought it might have had something to do with the whole Nathan/Haley/Rachel situation but when he called her this morning telling her where he was planning on taking Grace, she spoke very plain and distant to him, almost as if she was barely interested. And looking at her now, the way she stood awkwardly at the door and looked around at anything but his eyes, he knew something was definitely up.
"Brooke" Lucas started softly. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing" Brooke answered simply and forced a smile, a smile that Lucas knew was fake.
"Don't lie to me, Brooke" Lucas sighed "You have been acting distant with me since Tric last night, what is it? Is it because Jake is back?"
"I told you Lucas, nothing is wrong with me" Brooke bit back more firmly this time and looked at Lucas heavily "Now excuse me but I have things I have to be getting on with, thanks for dropping Grace back home" she muttered and went to shut the door but Lucas' hand quickly stopped it and held onto it tight much to Brooke's annoyance. "Lucas!" she groaned.
Lucas however ignored her and stepped inside blocking the doorway, causing Brooke to take a step back and look at him frustratingly. "Talk to me!" he told her sternly.
"There's nothing to talk about!" Brooke argued back.
"Brooke!" Lucas groaned and clenched his jaw with frustration. "Look, if you think that Jake being back is going to change things then you are wrong, okay? I have warned him to stay away and he will"
Brooke eyed him up and down suspiciously. "So why did you want to speak to him alone?" she questioned as she folded her arms across her chest and looked at him expectantly. "Because you are obviously hiding something, what is it? Drugs?"
"Brooke, I'm not, I swear!" Lucas defended and started to get angry at Brooke's lack of trust in him. "I thought we were past all this! I told you I am done with all that stuff!"
"Yeah well it's not like you have never let me down before, is it!" she hissed at him, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
Lucas closed his eyes tight before reopening them and looked at Brooke sternly. "Brooke I promise you, nothing like that is going on! I thought you trusted me! Why are you being like this? Bringing up the past!"
Brooke however didn't answer as she stood her ground and looked at Lucas with a small glare on her face.
"Fine" Lucas muttered and let out a bitter laugh in disbelief "You don't trust me, great! I guess I will see you around" he scoffed and shook his head before turning around and leaving the house, slamming the door angrily on his way out.
Brooke clenched her eyes shut and groaned frustratingly, the guilt of the argument slowly creeping back to her, she knew she was being harsh, but Lucas Scott's life had always been unpredictable, and with Jake returning after they were starting to get extremely close again knocked her for six, and now she just didn't know what to do about it, it wasn't High School anymore, they were adults and she had Grace to think about first, and if there was any chance of Jake being in Lucas' life again, Brooke didn't want her daughter to be around that.
"Here" Keith walked into his office and handed Lucas a small piece of paper to where his nephew was sitting absentmindedly on the small sofa that was placed in the corner of the room.
"What's this?" Lucas asked confused after snapping out of his thoughts, he couldn't believe that Brooke thought he was involved with Jake again, he thought she was starting to trust him again but obviously he was wrong and now he felt that all the progress they had made since telling Grace his true identity was all erased and now they were back to square one. It had been a few days since their argument, and he hadn't really talked to Brooke, except for when he was picking up or dropping off Grace, and even those conversations were awkward and short.
"It's the area code of a pick up. I figuired you might want to get out of the garage since you don't seem to be doing any work around here anyway" Keith told him with a small frown gracing his lips.
"Sorry" Lucas mumbled as he stood up and looked down to the sheet before looking back up at Keith. "I'm on it" he told him before heading out of the office.
"Oh and Lucas!" Keith shouted after him as he followed his nephew outside.
"Yeah?" Lucas asked as he opened the door to the pickup truck.
"Try not to scare the poor customer away with that permanent frown that has been placed on your face lately, please" Keith pleaded somewhat jokingly but also a warning that Lucas better concentrate on the job.
"Of course not" Lucas replied before stepping into the truck and pulling away, trying to push his thoughts of Brooke out of his mind.
"Oh thank god you are here!"
Lucas stepped out of his truck to see a tall girl with light brown hair running towards him, he could clearly see that she was in some sort of distress over the situation with her car. "Well that's my job" he smiled as he walked alongside her towards the car. "So, do you know what the problem is?" he asked curiously.
"No!" The girl answered quickly and Lucas could sense the panic in her voice "I don't know! I've just got a new job and I only started yesterday, so here I am driving through this strange town in this car I only bought from this guy the other week and suddenly smoke comes from the engine! I didn't know what to do so I just pulled over, then I found your number in the dashboard, probably from the previous owner, oh my god, my new boss is going to kill me!"
"It's okay" Lucas smiled "Calm down" he told her smoothly before opening up the hood "Let me take a look"
"Thank you!" the girl gushed as she watched Lucas look into the hood. "I don't even know where I am! I've only lived in Tree Hill for a week!"
"It won't take you long to get used to the place" Lucas told her reassuringly as he continued to take a look at the car "It's a pretty small town"
"Yeah so I've been told" the girl sighed "I'm from New York so it's a huge difference! I'm trying to adjust to it all"
"Yeah don't I know it" Lucas agreed while keeping his eyes fixed down into the car.
"Are you from New York too?" the girl asked surprised.
"No I'm from Tree Hill, but I did live in New York for a while not so long ago" Lucas commented before looking up "It looks like it's your radiator" he told her "It's overheated but there seems to be some damage there too, but that was probably from the previous owner"
"Oh" the girl mumbled "So what does that mean?"
"Well, I'm afraid you wont be driving it today" Lucas told her with a sympathetic smile "I'm gonna have to take it back into the garage"
"Great!" the girl muttered in frustration "That is all I need!"
Lucas smiled at her as he closed the hood of the car "Have you got someone to come and pick you up or do you need a ride?" he asked.
"A ride please if you don't mind, I don't really know anyone around here yet" the girl admitted with a shy smile.
"That's okay" Lucas replied with a grin "Just wait in the truck while I tow your car to the back and I will take you"
"Thank you so much" the girl smiled at him softly.
"Don't thank me" Lucas laughed "It's my job"
"Hey, what's your name? If I'm getting a ride from a stranger I'm going to have to at least know your name" she smirked.
"Lucas" the blonde smiled as he held his hand out.
"Nice to meet you Lucas" she grinned back as she shook his outstretched hand "I'm Lindsay"
"Thanks Brooke" Haley smiled as she took the ice cream Brooke handed her before letting her into her apartment, Grace down below by her side. "Hey Gracie" she smiled as she bent down and lifted Grace into her arms "Are you looking forward to our girls night?" she asked.
"Yes" Grace answered with a grin "Mommy says all we are gonna do is eat pizza and ice cream and watch lots and lots of movies!" she spoke with eager excitement escaping from her voice.
"Well that's the plan" Haley smiled before looking over at Brooke "Where's Peyton?" she asked curiously as she placed Grace down who ran straight towards the TV.
"She said she wont be long, she had to pick up something from work" Brooke answered as she placed her bag onto the bar in the kitchen. "How you doing?"
"Good" Haley forced a smile "You?"
"Yeah, good" Brooke repeated and just like Haley, forced a smile. "So...have you spoken to Nathan?"
"He came round the other day, we talked a little" Haley confessed "He apologised for what happened with Rachel, told me it was just one time and they were both drunk and stupid" she sighed "I mean...I can't hold it against him can I? It's not like we were together or anything"
"Yeah but it still must hurt" Brooke replied with a sad smile. "I know my best friend isn't exactly the smartest guy but sleeping with Rachel was just stupid"
"Well it's done now" Haley sighed "What about you? You and Lucas still not speaking?"
Brooke shook her head and sent a quick glance towards her daughter before looking back at Haley. "No" she sighed "It's my fault, I shouldn't have accused him the way I did, but with Jake being back...it just brought back so many memories of him and it knocked me a bit"
"It reminded you of how Lucas used to be?" Haley asked.
"Yeah I guess so, and although I loved that Lucas, and I loved him a lot, that Lucas was the one who left me pregnant" Brooke mumbled.
Haley smiled as she stood up "Hey" she warned "That's enough boy talk! Come on, let's go and find a DVD to watch" she smiled and grabbed Brooke's hand before leading her over to where Grace was sitting on the couch.
"Hey" Lucas smiled as he jumped into the truck. "Sorry if I took long"
"It's fine" Lindsay smiled and looked down to the photo she held in her hand that she found on top of the dashboard "Is she your daughter?" she asked curiously as she held up the photo for Lucas to see.
"Yeah" Lucas grinned proudly. "That's my baby girl"
"She's beautiful" Lindsay gushed "How old is she?"
"Five years old" Lucas smiled.
"She has your eyes" she commented.
"She does" Lucas agreed "But everything else is her mother" he smiled.
"Are you guys together?" Lindsay asked curiously and noticed that Lucas didn't answer straight away "God I'm sorry, I'm being nosy! I should really mind my own business, sorry" she rambled.
"It's okay" Lucas cut her off with a smile "And to answer your question, no, we aren't together"
"Oh, that's a shame" Lindsay send him a small smile. "But at least you have this cute kid, huh?"
"Yeah" Lucas smiled.
"So, you mentioned before that you used to live in New York for a little while? What brought you there?" Lindsay asked curiously.
"Ah..." Lucas trailed as he let out a little cringe.
"Am I asking you too many questions? Because I do that sometimes, I'm sorry"
"It's not that" Lucas smiled "It's just a bit of a long story..." he mumbled "And it's not really something I'm proud of"
"Well we all have those" Lindsay agreed just as Lucas pulled up outside the garage.
"Here we are" Lucas said as he stopped the truck and they both stepped outside. "It's actually closing time now, so I'm not going to be able to work on the car tonight but if you give me your number, I can work on it tomorrow and I shall give you a call when it's done?"
"Yeah I guess that sounds good" Lindsay sighed as she handed him over his number. "Do you have any idea how to get to Larbet Drive from here?" she asked with a small smile. "My boss thankfully agreed to give me the evening off, and well, I don't really know how to get back to my house from anywhere else but work yet"
Lucas chuckled "If you give me 10 minutes while I lock up, I will give you a ride on my way home" he told her with a smile.
"Are you sure? You have helped me enough already, you don't have to"
"It's fine" Lucas smiled "Honestly" he told her reassuringly.
"Okay, thank you" Lindsay grinned as she watched him unload her car into the garage.
"James Ashcroft" Brooke smiled dreamingly as she licked the chocolate ice cream from her spoon.
"Ew! Seriously?" Peyton gasped in surprise, and also pulled a very disgusted face.
"What!" Brooke defended with a smile "He was cute, okay!" she giggled.
"Wait...why does that name sound so familiar?" Haley asked with a grin.
"He went to Tree Hill High, he was in our lab class in senior year, long black hair, a lot of acne and some very very ugly eyebrows!" Peyton giggled.
"James Ashcroft!" Haley gasped after remembering who he was now "Seriously Brooke? Him?" she asked with a laugh.
"Hey! In my defence, it was before High School and he was kinda cute then...besides, I was like 12 or something..." Brooke trailed with an embarrassed smile. "And why are we picking on me! Peyton, who was your first kiss then?" she asked before digging her spoon back into her ice cream.
Peyton cringed slightly and sent a short glance towards Haley "Mine was actually Nathan..." she said unsure how the mention of the male brunette would affect the light mood that they all were in. Haley however rolled her eyes and waved for her to continue with a smile on her face, showing Peyton that she was fine.
"Nathan?" Brooke's eyebrows raised in surprise "So your telling me you hadn't kissed a single guy before you started dating him?"
"Yes...well no" Peyton shrugged "I kissed Nathan for the first time long before I started dating him"
"Really! How did I not know about this?" Brooke laughed.
"I don't know, how did I not know about James Ashcroft?" Peyton smirked.
"Shut up!" Brooke gasped with a grin as she reached out and slapped Peyton on the shoulder.
"Mommy!" Grace's voice called over the group as she raised from the couch and made her way over to the table where the young adults were sitting.
"Yes baby?" Brooke asked with a smile.
"Who is James Ashcroft?" she asked curiously causing both Peyton and Haley to break out into laughter.
"Oh, he is nobody" Brooke smiled down at her little girl before sending a glare over to her two best friends.
"Well then why did you kiss him?" Grace asked confused.
"Ah you will understand someday princess" Brooke laughed as she lifted her daughter onto her knee.
"And if you are anything like your mother, it wont be too long until you do!" Peyton teased causing Grace to look up at her Mom confused.
"Ignore Peyton baby, she has had one too many glasses of wine!" Brooke smirked.
"Now please don't tell me you are having more car troubles?" Lucas asked with a smile as he watched Lindsay walk into the garage. It had been nearly two weeks since he first fixed her car and since then she had been making regular appearances, they have even hung out at Tric a couple of times and Lindsay being grateful for the blonde showing her around Tree Hill and being one of her only friends here so far the two had spent quite a lot of time together in the short time since they met.
"No, no" Lindsay grinned as she approached him "Not this time"
"So, what's up?"
"I was just wondering if you wanted to go out tonight?" Lindsay asked with a shy smile but it fell when she saw the smile on Lucas fall. "Or maybe not..."
"Sorry" Lucas cringed "It's not that I don't want to!" he quickly defended after he noticed the sudden change in her mood "But I have Grace tonight, and I haven't seen her in a couple of days so..."
"No it's okay" Lindsay smiled "It's okay, your daughter comes first I understand, maybe another time?"
"Yeah definitely!" Lucas told her reassuringly with a smile "We can go to Tric or something"
"Sounds good to me" Lindsay smiled as she looked down at her watch "Anyway, I better be going...shopping awaits" she grinned.
"Of course" Lucas smiled as he watched her go.
"I will call you?" Lindsay asked while turning around to face him once more
"Sure" Lucas agreed before turning around to work on the car he was looking at. Lindsay stood for a couple more seconds watching him before letting out a sigh and stepping into her car.
"Well well" Jake smirked as he walked into the Clothes over Bro's store. "Who knew that Queen B Brooke Davis would grow up into this hot ass sexy woman as well as owning her own clothing store" he smiled at her smugly "I always thought you would marry some rich old guy before growing extremely fat"
"Funny" Brooke scoffed disgustedly at him and rolled her eyes "What are you doing here, creep?" she asked in a cold tone.
"Do you talk to all your customers like that?" Jake asked amused.
"No...just the jackass ones"
"How original" Jake smirked.
"Seriously, what do you want?" Brooke asked annoyed as she tapped the counter impatiently.
"Oh nothing" Jake smiled "I was just passing by and I thought I would drop in to see how my old school friend was doing"
Brooke glared at him "Okay, well we were never friends so you can leave now"
Jake chuckled amused "You need to lighten up B, what's up? Lucas dumped your ass again?"
"Your words don't affect me, Jake, so just go before I kick you out myself"
Jake laughed and shook his head just as a customers voice broke into the conversation.
"Hey..." Lindsay approached the duo "I was just wondering, do you have this dress in blue?" she asked.
Brooke smiled at her as Lindsay handed the dress over to her "Yeah I think so, let me go check in the back" she told her with a smile before turning back to Jake "If you aren't gone before I get back I will sit on you with my fat ass and get my rich old husband to kill you" she told him in a serious tone and flashed one of her famous fake Brooke Davis smiles at him.
"Haha" Jake chuckled as he took a step back away from the bar "Okay" he laughed before leaving.
"He didn't seem very welcome" Lindsay commented just as Brooke returned from the back of the store, new dress in hand.
Brooke rolled her eyes to herself "That's because he's not"
"Ex-boyfriend?" Lindsay asked with a smile as Brooke passed her back the dress.
Brooke laughed dryly and shook her head "No...no way" she chuckled "I would like to think I could do better than that!"
Lindsay laughed and nodded with agreement with her "Thanks for changing the dress"
"No problem" Brooke smiled "So what's it for? Special occasion?" she asked curiously. She always liked to make an extra effort with her customers, talk to them and make them feel welcome, not just because she was interested in her business sales but because it was just polite.
"Not really" Lindsay admitted "There's this guy actually..." she smiled shyly.
"Ah!" Brooke smiled "A guy, is he cute?" she asked while smirking.
"Oh yeah" Lindsay grinned "He is gorgeous!"
"And I'm guessing he is taking you out on a date?"
"Well not yet" Lindsay admitted "But we will be, and when I saw this dress I just had to buy it!"
"Of course" Brooke agreed "When you wear this, I'm sure he wont be able to take his eyes off you!" she smiled.
"Thank you" Lindsay grinned "He seems a little distant...I don't know, it's just been kinda hard in getting him to notice me, you know?"
"Yeah well he is a guy" Brooke smiled "That's what they are like, I am sure when he sees you in this he will be chasing you like you wouldn't believe"
"I hope so" Lindsay smiled "Thank you..."
"Brooke" the brunette smiled as she extended her hand out "Brooke Davis"
Lindsay smiled as she shook her hand, noticing that somehow that name sounded familiar "Lindsay Strauss"
"Hey baby girl why don't you go into the kitchen and ask Uncle Keith to order us a pizza?" Lucas asked Grace with a smile and the 5 year old eagerly nodded her head before running off in search of her uncle. "Hi" Lucas smiled as he turned to face Brooke. "It feels like I haven't seen you in ages" he admitted "I kinda missed you..."
Brooke smiled at him softly "I'm sorry for acting like a bitch to you...after Jake came back...I was just scared"
"I know" Lucas smiled back "And I have been keeping my distance from you lately too...I just...I wanted to give you some space, you know?"
"Yeah" Brooke nodded "And by the way...I missed you too" she admitted quietly.
Lucas smiled as he reached over and took a hold of Brooke's hand. "Why don't we both make more of an effort from now on?"
"That sounds good to me" Brooke smiled. "But I think your daughter may need more of your attention right now" she laughed as she heard their child's loud voice echo into the hall asking her father to hurry up and pick what pizza he wants.
"I will drop her off tomorrow" Lucas told her softly "Then maybe we can talk or something?"
"Yeah" Brooke agreed "Definitely" she smiled before leaning forward and kissing his cheek lightly "See you tomorrow" she finished before leaving.
Lucas smiled as he watched her from the door until her car was nowhere in sight, after more weeks of awkwardness and short conversations, he hoped that after tomorrow things will finally be okay between the two of them, and this time for good.
A/N: If I have any readers left, please review and let me know! :) Again, I apologise for this extremely long delay in updating this story, I am hoping that the next chapter wont take as long to update, so I will make sure I put in more effort!
Thanks everyone, and please review!
Sara x