A/N: Thanks as always for the reviews. I really like this chapter, it went in a dramatic direction I wasn't expected to.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 35: How Long?

Julie and Steve sat quietly on the back porch. Jimmy had taken the kids for the day and they were on their own.

"So," he said. "You two are like officially back on, or whatever? You and Jimmy."

"Yup," Julie said. "The gossip is vicious by the way, now not only were poor Michael and Stephanie orphaned but their sister is living in sin with her boyfriend." Steve laughed. She looked at him, she could tell his laughter was forced. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing OK," he said. She looked at him. "Cat, I am."

"It's me Steve," she said. "I know you, I know when you're not OK. So, come on, how are you doing? Really."

"I don't know," he shook his head. "Tammy's so fucked up, Cat, I don't even know where to begin, and she never let me in." Julie nodded. "By the end I felt like I was pushing against a brick wall, and I got tired of it."

"I think you liked it," she teased. He looked at her. "At first, I mean, I get it. I love her, but she's got her issues."

"You don't have the first idea," he mumbled. "You know she would cry over Fulton?"

"They were together a long time," Julie said.

"To me," he said. "And not like when it first happened and she and I hooked up, like a year ago. I mean, I guess they kept the whole love thing happening forever, since they had sex that night after the baby."

"What baby?" Julie said.

"Shit," he mumbled. "You weren't every supposed to know." He pressed his hands against her face.

"Know what?" Julie said. "What baby? Connie?"

"No," he said. "Our baby." Julie looked at him.

"Tammy was pregnant?" She said. He nodded. "She lost the baby or," he shook his head. "Oh," she whispered. "Did you know?"

"Not until after," he said. "She was totally on her own, because Connie,"

"Stopped speaking to her," Julie finished the sentence. "And she thought I'd do the same."

"You have pretty strong opinions on the subject." He shrugged. "I mean when Taylor,"

"I was seventeen!" Julie said. "And Taylor isn't Tammy, or you." He nodded. "This explains a lot." He nodded again. "Oh Steve-o!" She whispered and kissed him. "If I'd known, I mean," she rubbed his leg. "I love you." She kissed him again. When they finished they pressed their foreheads together.

"Cal really wanted us to be together," he said.

"I know," she whispered. "Mikey really wants it too." He nodded. "I love Jimmy, I always have and I always will."

"I know," he said. "I get it. I have for years now. I love Tammy, Cat, with everything in me. She doesn't feel the same way though. I'm kind of used to that, I think I can get past it this time." She laughed and put her head on his shoulder. "I would have been there for you, if you'd wanted me."

"I know," she whispered and kissed him softly. "I love you for that."

Tommy lay in bed with Diane, playing with her hair. She leaned back against him and closed her eyes.

"You feeling OK?" He asked.

"Mm," she nodded. "I feel fine." He kissed her hair. "I talked to my mom."

"And?" He said.

"She said she's OK with it," she whispered. "So that just leaves your family."

"Right," he said softly. "Di, I want you to know, that I didn't ask you, just because,"

"I know," she looked at him. "But I don't want to die without having had everything we can together, and that means marriage." He smiled.

"No one's dying," he said. She smiled. "Got it?"

"Tommy, just because you keep saying it doesn't mean it's not going to happen," she sighed. "I don't want this to come as a surprise for you, because I can't stand to think of you hurt like that."

"Di, it would kill me either way," he said simply. "I'd rather think positive." She nodded and kissed him.

"You're really way too good to me." She whispered. He smiled and kissed her again, running his hand through her hair. He stopped feeling his fingers get caught. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he shook his head.

"Tommy, what is it?" She said. She moved his hand from the top of her head. She noticed the small clump of hair in his fist. "Oh," she said and sat back.

"Diane, it's not a big deal." He said. She nodded and sniffled. "Honey," he wrapped his arms around her, she pulled away.

"Just go," she said. He looked at her. He hadn't slept at the house in ages, they'd never officially moved in together, but he'd just figured. "Please, Tommy, I have to be alone tonight."

"OK," he kissed her softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered. "I just can't share this with you."

"OK," he said softly. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"OK," she nodded as he stood up. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said.

"Do we get to keep the dog?" Mikey asked as he, Jimmy and Stephanie walked Ponyboy.

"Yeah," Jimmy said. "He's my dog, I wasn't going to leave him in New York with Steve." Stephanie giggled and leaned down and pet him, he licked her face.

"What's his name?" She asked.

"Ponyboy," Jimmy said. "Your sister named him after a character in a book that I love."

"I like him," Stephanie said. "He seems smart." Jimmy laughed.

"I always wanted a dog," Mikey said. "Dad liked cats. We had a cat. Coffee, but then Julie took him to California."

"I remember Coffee," Jimmy said. "The brothers from the fraternity that lived next to ZBZ fed her Nade Lite one night and she didn't recover." Mikey nodded.

"That cat bugged me," Mikey said.

"Seems like a lot of things bug you." Jimmy said. Mikey looked at him. "Julie's worried about you."

"I'm OK," Mikey said. "I know she is. I'm trying to be better." Jimmy nodded.

"I know you are," Jimmy said. "I was your age when I found out my mom was going to die." The two kids looked at him. "I mean we had a lot of time to get used to it. But it didn't make it easier once she was gone."

"I didn't know that," Mikey said. "I thought, I mean, I know Tammy's mom is your step mom, but I thought it was like my mom is Julie's."

"Yeah," Jimmy said. "My mom died, when I was twelve." Stephanie hugged and kissed him. "Thanks baby."

"Your mommy is an angel," she whispered. "Like our mommy and daddy. She's happy we're a family." Jimmy smiled. Mikey frowned. He liked the dog. He wasn't as sure as Stephanie that they were a family.

Connie smiled and looked at Guy cradling Gordon.

"You're good with him," she said. He smiled at her. "Not long for you now right?"

"No, very long," he shook his head.

"Why?" She said. "You two are doing well."

"Yeah," he said. "But if she has a baby, Gabby's career is over. Ballet dancers don't come back from that kind of change in their bodies." Connie nodded.

"So no kids?" Connie said.

"Not until she's done," he shrugged. "Then it's my turn." Connie laughed. "You know Tammy's coming out here in a few weeks."

"Wow, subtle," Connie said standing up and taking the baby from him.

"You could call her," he said. He looked at her. "Cons, she's in a dark place right now. She broke up with Steve and Julie's dealing with all the stuff with her parents, and Kelly just got married and has always been kind of useless with Tammy's problems you know that."

"She has you," she said. "And Gabby, and Dave, she's not without support."

"None of those people are you," Guy said. "None of them have known her since she was three." Connie sighed. "You were stupid, and proud and,"

"And she killed her baby, Guy!" Connie said. "Why do I get judged for not being able to reconcile that?"

"Because that's how it works, Cons," Guy said. "I hate what she did too, I pray to same God you do, that doesn't change the fact that Tammy's our friend, that she's been tearing herself up inside for three years over this." Connie looked away. "Sometimes I wonder if your real problem is that she had the abortion or that you didn't."

"What?" She said putting Gordon down and crossed her arms.

"I'm talking about Logan and Claire Vanderbilt's daughter," Guy said. Connie looked away. "Because like it or not Cons, that's who she is. She isn't yours and I think that keeps you up at night. I think it scares you to think that you were two steps away from doing the same thing Tammy did, and you feel really guilty because it was Tammy's connections that found a stable, loving family for that little girl and then when she needed you, you hid behind your faith, like you always do when things get hard for you." Connie swallowed and looked at him.

"Wow," she said, "how long have you been holding on to that?" He smiled.

"Since we sixteen and you decided that blow jobs were OK," he said. She laughed. "Did I get it right?"

"You got it right," she whispered and sat down. "She's almost six Guy."

"I know," he said softly. "She's almost six, and she's with people who love her and could take care of her for the first three years of her life which you and Charlie were in no position to do." Connie nodded. "And now you have a beautiful son." Connie nodded. "Call Tammy. She needs someone whose nose hasn't been in her ass crack since she got her first million."

"You have a way with words Guy," Connie said. He shrugged. "She's that bad?"

"With Steve gone and Julie and Jimmy distracted, yeah," Guy said. "No one calls her on her bullshit. Even towards the end Steve stopped because he couldn't take it."

"Why don't you do it?" She shrugged. "You're really good."

"Because I would feel like I was cheating on you," he kissed her cheek. "I have to go pick Gabby up from the airport, are you OK?"

"I'm fine," she said. "And I'll call her."

"Thank you," he said.

"You met someone?" Tanya said on the phone.

"I think," he said. "I said I think I met someone."

"Did you sleep with her?" She sighed. "I've told you, you know, that if you sleep with them, you ruin everything."

"Yeah, it's a mistake I made with you," he laughed. "I didn't. I wanted to, but I didn't."

"Good boy," she said. "Tell me about her."

"She's a grad student at Emerson, she wants to be a political reporter, so she's helping you get to Washington." He said.

"Aw sweet!" She laughed. "Name?"

"Kyla Summers," he said. "There's kind of a speed bump, though."

"There always is," she sighed. "What?"

"She grew up with Brad Vanderbilt, apparently they dated in middle school," he sighed.

"Oh well, something as big as that," she said sarcastically.

"T," he sighed. "It's not a small thing."

"It's hardly a deal breaker," she laughed. "In middle school you used to flick boogers into my hair."

"That was like first grade," he said, "in middle school I just pulled it a lot."

"You think that if you like her it's just going to be because it'll piss off Lena?" She said.

"Kinda," he nodded.

"You're an idiot," she said and hung up.

"Who's an idiot?" Fulton walked in.

"Dean," she said as he kissed her.

"Oh, him," he laughed. "Hi."

"Hi," she said. "How was work?"

"Good," he nodded.

"Good?" She said. He nodded. "Nothing more specific?"

"Well, I got some interesting news," he grabbed a bottle of champagne from the fridge.

"That champagne is special, Fult," she stood up. He nodded. "That's for like, really big deals, we didn't even use it when we got engaged."

"Uh huh," he said. "I got some interesting news."

"The FBI?" She said. He nodded, a smile plastered on his face. "Oh my God! Fulton," she kissed him. "I am so proud of you! This is amazing, do we get to stay in Chicago? Do you even know that yet?" He laughed.

"I made the cut," he said. "I still have to train, and then we find out if we get to stay." She nodded. "I hope we do, really. But New York, or DC, or LA wouldn't suck, would they?"

"No," she said quietly. He lifted her chin. "They wouldn't. They're just not here."

"Yeah, I know," he said quietly. They kissed softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said. "And I'm proud of you."

"Thank you," he said. They kissed again and he popped the champagne.

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