Snape: Holy sht! It's the thought police!
Thought Policeman: Professor Severus Sexton Snape...
Harry: WTF? Sexton?
Thought Policeman: you dont honestly think that all of Dan Browns ideas are original, do you?
Prime Minister: It's your duty as Minister of Magic!
Fudge: O come now, Prime Minister! you cant honestly think that I am still the MoM!
Prime Minister: Was it because of all those catastrophes?
Fudge: Actually, I think they all found out I enjoy making out with dragon babies.
Hermione: Ron, I love you.
Ron: YAY!
Hermione: I have always had a deep, burning desire for you.
Ron: I knew it!
Hermione: It has been my fondest dream to touch my flesh to your flesh.
Ron: Huzzah!
Hermione: Now, then...
(She turns to Harry)
Hermione: You owe me 25 Galleons and a week's worth of back massages.
Dumbledore: Mr. Filch has asked me to tell you these 3 things. 1, anything bought from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is strictly prohibited. 2, nobody is to enter the now-empty Chamber of Secrets unless accompanied by a suicidal house-elf. And 3, Mrs. Norris has been renamed Mrs. Filch. (gasps) Oh, you pervert!
(Harry to Voldemort on his death bed)"You have taken so much from me...my parents, my sanity, and several years of my life. you cant give those back to me, but i do want back are those 10 galleons I let you borrow."