Chapter 35: Sedatives and Secrets

"Shepard. Shepard! Are you alright?" This was distinctly nostalgic, her fuzzy, abused brain thought to itself.

"She's coming around, be patient Sere Krios," the calm, even voice of Doctor Chakwas chided. Thane's voice fell silent, his hand still holding her's, thumb rubbing the back of it anxiously.

"What's going on?" Shepard murmured. "I feel like I have a bad hangover..." Slowly, deliberately, she sat up with a groan as Thane had released her hand. Her eyes blinked rapidly in the harsh, white, light of the med bay.

"You've been out for a while. What was the last thing you remember?" the doctor asked a small, knowing smile on her lips.

"I... I think I was planning tomorrow's mission. I remember telling Joker to head to where the Hugo Gernsback's signal came from and then... I think I fell asleep. Why? What happened?" Shepard's cheeks burned as she avoided Thane's concerned eyes. She didn't know why, but she felt acutely embarrassed.

"It would seem you had a strong reaction to coming into contact with Thane's blood, which I'll wager entered your body through that cut on your finger there. Aside from some dizziness, side effects include audio/visual hallucinations, nausea, headaches, and disorientation. In short, you will feel a bit uncomfortable for another hour or so as your system clears but no lasting damage was done."

"So, did I faint?" Shepard asked, incredulously.

"Ah, about that," Garrus said, the door's hissing signaling his entry. "When I went looking for you to talk you were, let's just say unwell but being as how you were rather uncooperative, I used my old C-Sec tranq gun to subdue you till I could get some help from the Doc here... Sorry if it smarts a bit," he smiled sheepishly at her look of surprise.

"Don't worry about it Garrus. You've got to do what you've got to do. I'm just sorry I was a bother." She turned to Karin. "Am I free to go?"

"Yes, Commander. Just check in with me before you go to sleep tonight. Your implants should be able to process the foreign substance but I want to make sure you are in the clear. I already took a blood sample to use as a reference," she said, holding up the small vial of red liquid before putting it in a cooled and sealed drawer. Shepard breathed a sigh of relief. She hated needles and was glad to have been asleep.

"I'm sorry, Siha. I never intended-"

"It's fine, Thane. Don't worry about it." She swung her legs around to dangle off the edge of the less-than-comfortable medical table.

"Here, let me help you to your room. You look pale." Thane hovered next to her, making sure she didn't fall as she stood up.

"Actually, Krios, I was hoping you would give me a hand installing the new rifle mods we picked up on Ilium. There's a few of them I've never seen before and you seem like you would be handy with something like that." Thane regarded the turian, a slightly dubious look on his face, before looking back at the Commander questioningly. She nodded.

"Go ahead, Thane. I'll be just fine. The sooner we get the modded weapons back to the crew, the sooner they can get acclimated to them." He locked eyes with her for a moment before turning and following Garrus out of the room and to the Battery. He stood stiffly, formally, as the door swished shut behind them.

"Now suppose you tell me what this is really about..."

Thane laid in his cot, arms up behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. He wasn't sure what to think about his talk with Garrus earlier. Each time he went over it, new feelings arose and joined the ones already swirling in his heart and mind. Taking a deep breath, he slipped into his memory once again.

The turian kept up the pretext of needing his help with the weapons at first, but after a few minutes of working in uncomfortable silence, he fessed up.

"I don't know how to start, it's all so confusing... It's about earlier, when I found Shepard." Garrus said, tossing aside yet another broken spring with an air of distraction. Thane's swallowed thickly as he nodded to show he was listening but did not look up from his work.

"I wasn't entirely truthful when I said I took her to the infirmary right away... I figured what had happened was private, and the entire ship didn't need to know," Thane had said nothing. Garrus sighed in frustration, trying to put the words together in a way that made sense.

"When I got up there, she was asleep. She looked a little flushed but seemed fine until she woke up. I don't know how to say this, but even though I kept telling her I wasn't, she kept insisting I was you..." Thane's dexterous fingers paused for a moment before returning to work, a minute tremble in his hands.

"Did she say anything?" Thane said after a few moments of silence. Garrus' mandibles pulled tightly against his mouth plates as her tried to calm his emotions.

"I think perhaps this is a conversation best had with Shepard..." the former C-Sec officer admitted, "but I will tell you if you really want to know."

Thane's double lids blinked a few times as the memories cleared and he came back to the present. Garrus had told him what had happened and now... now he didn't know where to go from here...

From what had happened he could tell that Shepard cared for him, that much he believed whatever had happened, but was he her first choice? And even if he was, did she want to keep Garrus on "stand-by" in case things didn't work out? He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Scratch that, he knew he would not be okay with that. The thing is, with his heart wrapped around her little finger as it was, would he choose to be with her regardless?

He, sighed deeply, running his hands over the ridges of his crest. He wasn't being fair to her. Even in the worst care scenario for him, that he was a rebound and she still had strong feelings for Garrus, it wasn't her fault that she had feelings for him. It's not like they had made any vows to each other, she was technically a free agent...

Gods he hoped that wasn't the case.

In the end, when the weapons were fully assembled and tested, he and Garrus had left on neutral terms, both respecting each other but acknowledging that they were romantic competitors, neither of whom were willing to back down. And what's more, they had decided to keep their mutual awareness of Shepard's feelings to themselves as she had not been herself at the time and would surely be quite upset if she knew of her behavior.

For now he would just have to pray for the best. As for when he would be able to sleep again? That was anybody's guess...