AN: I spent most of the weekend tweaking this chapter, and I'm still not too satisfied with a few parts, but I'm happy with the overall product. We are down to the nitty gritty here, just wrapping up a few things. If you don't read my other stories, I explained a bit yesterday that I am having some mental health issues, so I apologize for the long wait. Please know I will never leave a story unfinished, and at this point, I may never consider a story finished because epilogues and one shots are amazing!
Thank you so much for the continued support, it has really meant a lot to me!
Friday, July 4th 11:00 p.m.
"Lucas?" Riley asked when he didn't reply. "Please, tell me the truth."
"I don't want to," Lucas grumbled.
Riley pulled away, sitting back on her knees, her butt resting on the heels of her feet, with her hands in her lap. "Why not?"
Lucas readjusted his position until he was sitting the same way as Riley, except he stood tall with his thigh straight, reaching out to her. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"The secrets and lies make me uncomfortable, not you. Please, Lucas."
Lucas was silent as a war waged on inside him. He was terrified of both the options laid out before him. He could tell the truth, tell her that he loved her, and she could run away again, frightened by the weight of his feelings. He could lie, but if she found out he was lying, that would ruin them as well. So he stayed silent, swallowing the lump in his suddenly dry throat down as he stared into her begging eyes.
If he could just figure out what answer she was begging for, then he could give it to her, no matter the consequences, but he had learned over the past year that giving in to what he thought she wanted could be dangerous. He gave the idea of Maya a chance for her back in Texas, and it had led down a slippery slope of pain and lies all in the name of what Riley thought would make him happy.
"Riley..." he breathed out her name so softly she had to lean forward, waiting for him to continue speaking, but he didn't. He couldn't. He shook his head, hoping she could understand his struggle, that their connection could get them through this.
Riley bit her lip, indecision wracking her brain. She hated seeing him in pain, hated that their choices had led them to a place where this moment could be painful. With a sigh, she came to the conclusion that she had to fix this before yet another misunderstanding threatened to tear them a part.
"Lucas, I don't want to pressure you. If," she hesitated, looking back down at her lap. "If you didn't mean it, that's okay, but I just wanted to let you know... I don't want to forget you said it, if you did mean it. I have never told anyone that I loved them, in like a boyfriend romantic way-"
"I know!" Lucas pressed urgently, coming closer until they were a hairsbreadth apart. "And I would never-"
Riley held out a hand to stop him. "I just want you to understand how much that word means to me, Lucas. I was taught and shown by the people around me that love is precious, that it can overcome any test. I could never say it if I didn't mean it."
"Riley..." Lucas anxiously tried to interrupt her again, but Riley gave him a quick kiss and firmly shook her head.
"Let me finish," she insisted, grabbing both of his hands. She released a long sigh before continuing, "I don't want to forget you said those words. I want them to be true so badly. I want you to love me, Luc, because I love you. I've always loved you, even when I didn't want to, but I don't want to be scared anymore. I'm not scared anymore. I'm so in love with you, Lucas."
She gave him a watery smile, trying to blink back tears as she stared at him, eyes filled with hope. Lucas let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as he pulled her hands to meet his lips, kissing them frantically.
"Oh, Riles. Sunshine," he mumbled between kisses, feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed with joy. He couldn't even stop the words flowing from his mouth. "I love you, too. I really, really do. Knowing you, loving you, has made me be a better man. I'm not that angry person I was back in Texas. I didn't know how to deal with things back then. I didn't think there was a better way. With you, I'm the person I've always wanted to be."
Riley was crying in earnest now, her heart a battlefield of conflicting emotions, so elated to be in love for the very first time, but so sad for the lost little boy Lucas once was. It was hard to believe he would grow up to be the man in front of her, and even harder for her to imagine that she played even a small role in that transformation.
"I'm so glad I fell into your lap that day on the subway, Lucas. I hate to think about what would have happened to you if you had stayed angry all the time."
"Me, too, but, Princess," Lucas began, pulling her up to her feet and guiding her to the dance floor. "You had me from the moment I laid eyes on you. When you turned and smiled that one of a kind Riley smile at me, I was a goner."
Riley giggled, letting Lucas sway her gently around the small floor. "Us dancing to no music is beginning to be a habit."
"Any excuse to have you in my arms, Sunshine."
Riley wrapped her arms more firmly around his neck, resting her head against his chest, his heart pounding erratically in her ear.
"You don't need an excuse. I love you, Lucas," she insisted seriously. It felt so good to say after holding it in for so long.
Lucas rested his head on top of hers, his face aching from smiling so big. "I love you, too."
Saturday, July 5th 12:30 a.m.
Lucas and Riley were still swaying in silence when Topanga walked over to their makeshift paradise. She gave herself a moment to observe her daughter with the handsome young man who had stolen her heart, allowing herself to be overwhelmed by how much her daughter had grown in what felt like a blink of her own eyes before clearing her throat loudly.
"The caterers are cleaning up. It won't be long before they head this way."
Lucas reluctantly released his hold on Riley with a wistful sigh, nodding his head. "Thanks, Mrs. Matthews, we will be back to the house soon."
Topanga clapped her hands together, gathering up the blankets and personal items. "I'll pick up this mess. Just hurry up and get back. You don't want your father to have to come looking for you."
Riley hummed in agreement, taking Lucas' hand and guiding him to the edge of the water. Both of them had lost their shoes hours ago, the waves gently lapping at their toes. They slowly ambled down the coast back toward the Minkus' house, neither wanting the night to end.
Lucas ran his thumb over the back of her hand, wishing he could hold onto this moment forever. He thought back to this time two years ago, when he was packing up his life in Texas to move here. His mom had reassured him that a fresh start was exactly what he needed. At the time, he had only a few close friends who saw past his short fuse, and he worried he would never find that in New York.
He was terrified that he would blow up on the first day of school and never even get the chance to show anyone that he could be a good person. When he revealed his fears to his mom, she had scheduled him a few appointments with a reputable child therapist in the city. At first, he didn't say much, but after he met Riley, he wanted to believe his fresh start was possible. So, he worked really hard in therapy, answering her questions and unpacking his anger. He even went back to Texas and made things right with the people there. For a while in seventh grade, he thought maybe that's where he belonged. Those people had already seen his worst and accepted him anyway, so he made an effort to go home as much as his parents would allow.
He wasn't sure when it happened, but when his friends told him he was their moral compass, he realized his fresh start worked. Somewhere along the line, he had become the person he always wanted to be, and at first, it was really hard work, but after a while, with the help of his new friends, it was second nature. He wasn't an angry person trying to be happy anymore. He was truly a happy person. Sure, he had his problems still, but Riley made everything better. When he won the election for class president, he realized that maybe a start wasn't all he was looking for- he wanted a beginning and a middle in New York.
So he pulled away from his friends in Texas, but when Zay moved to New York as well, he realized he could have both. The visit to Texas seemed like the perfect way to combine his love of both places and people. Of course, he had been completely wrong, and everything blew up in his face.
When they got back from Texas and Riley pulled away from him, he worried he would revert back to his old ways without her calming guidance. Maya was fun and Lucas knew she had a good heart underneath all that tough girl exterior, but she had the tendency to push people's buttons. The only reason she rarely got to him was because of Riley.
As much as he hated the last few months, it was good for him to realize that he had changed, for him, not just for Riley. She may have been the catalyst, but if she disappeared from his life, he wouldn't immediately go back to punching walls and causing fights.
He made the choice to be with Riley, not because he needed her to be good, but because he just needed her. He could live without her, but he most certainly didn't want to.
Looking over at her now, he was amazed at how even though she was his favorite person to talk to, she was his favorite person to be quiet with as well. During his silent contemplation on their walk, she didn't press him. She didn't seem uncomfortable or annoyed, she was just here for him. He didn't know how long they had been standing at the foot of the back porch, but by now the only people still outside where the caterers and Mrs. Minkus, who was making sure every last bit of evidence of the party had vanished from the beach.
Lucas spared them a glance, making absolutely certain that Mr. Matthews wasn't lurking in the shadows, before giving Riley a gentle kiss on her forehead, thanking her for giving him her implicit strength.
"I love you, Riley Matthews," he whispered.
Riley hugged him tightly, taking in the intoxicating mix of the scent of the ocean and pure Lucas on his skin. "This has been the best night of my life, Lucas. I won't ever forget it."
"It's not over yet. I still have to walk you to your door," Lucas said with a grin, guiding her up the stairs.
Once they got inside, his plans of a good night kiss were thwarted, as Cory, Shawn, and Maya all stood in a row with their arms crossed, two of them smirking evilly.
"Do you know what time it is, young man?" Maya teased.
AN: My babies! They have grown so much! I'm so proud of them for talking things out and becoming stronger together and individually! I'm thinking about doing a series that explores and creates a more in-depth backstory for Lucas, but I think it will involve a lot of research into anger management, mental health, and rewatching the whole series for clues about Lucas, which I really don't have time for at the moment. I tried to touch on a few my ongoing thoughts here, but ultimately this story has been about Riley and her journey, so I didn't want to go too far down that path.
Thanks again for the support! Let me know what you think! See you soon-ish!