This was written as a joke, but since it's something I really don't enjoy writing I couldn't quite bring myself to write it as how I first envisioned it. But I guess if you never knew how it was supposed to be at first, then it wouldn't be as weird. I just confused myself. =D

And they're in a car on a stakeout or something, just so you know the setting going into it. xD

And the Crossover story, I will force myself to finish it. To me Billy Mays was the star and since his death it's weird for me to add him into things. So, out of respect, I won't. But one of these days, it will get done. =3

Adventures in Odd Conversation

"Hey Jigen."

"Hmm."

"Do..." he started, the word drawn out until it eventually faded. "Do you ever, I don't know, get attracted to guys who look like women you're attracted to?"

Jigen kept the expressionless look on his face as he slowly rolled his eyes over to his left, to where Lupin sat. "Huh?"

"You know, like if there was some guy with a thin frame and long blond hair and-"

"Just stop, Lupin."

"What?" Lupin wondered innocently, knowing full well why he was told to stop.

"You're creeping me out and, honestly, I'm about five seconds from leaving this car and never seeing you again."

"It was just a question, geez," Lupin muttered as he rolled his eyes.

"Okay, then let me ask you the same thing," Jigen said, annoyed at Lupin's assumption that it was "just a question".

"I don't care," Lupin said as he slouched down in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest.

"So, a guy resembling Fujiko would give you an erection?"

"I wouldn't go that far. Maybe I'd give him a second look, but that's about it."

"Figures, this coming from a guy who takes jobs where he dresses as women and then exploits rich men." Jigen shook his head slightly as he reached in his jacket for the pack of cigarettes he always kept in his pocket.

"You talk like I do it all the time," Lupin said in annoyance.

"Once is enough. Seriously, doesn't that strike you as weird?" Jigen placed a cigarette between his lips, knowing that lighting it could jeopardize their mission and making do without.

"Not really. Besides, it's not like I ever let it get too far. I just do it because I have to."

"You have to.... Right...."

"Shut up," Lupin muttered as he glared off at the building in front of them.

"How far does it get?"

"What?"

"When you're with a guy, how far do you let it get?"

"Well, obviously not that far, since it'd be really easy for my cover to be blown."

"What's the farthest it's ever gone?"

"Geez, what is this, an interrogation?"

"You brought it up," Jigen shrugged.

"Yeah, and you never answered my question."

"My answer is no, if my first reply wasn't obvious enough."

"Fine, I guess it's settled then. Can we drop this now?"

"Not until you answer my question," Jigen grinned, glancing over at Lupin. "So, what happened?" He hated the fact that he found this amusing, but it wasn't like he was the one who had started the conversation.

Lupin was silent as he stared off, his mind thinking about that night, the darkness inside the vehicle hiding the smile that came to his face.

"Well?" Jigen prodded.

Lupin laughed. "It's like you want me to tell you I slept with some guy."

"Please tell me you didn't..." The conversation suddenly wasn't so amusing for Jigen, who now had disturbing images in his head, ones he wished weren't there.

"A guy kissed me," Lupin said, blowing it off as if it were no big deal. "It was sort of a surprise thing that caught me off guard."

"Oh... Well, I guess that isn't as bad as it could have been."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Lupin laughed, turning his head to the side and staring at Jigen. He quickly looked away as the memories came back, of he disguised as a large breasted blond embracing a drunk Jigen, the two making out passionately during the elevator ride up to Jigen's room.

Lupin did it partly out of curiosity but mainly because he wanted it, needing to feel the warm embrace of the man he had grown feelings for. Knowing that Jigen didn't go for men, it was the only shot he had, to take advantage of him while in a drunken stupor.

He didn't plan for it to go as far as it did, though, afraid that Jigen would find out and never speak to him again.

Luckily for Lupin, Jigen passed out the second he hit the bed.

"What'd you do?" Jigen asked.

Lupin jumped upon hearing Jigen's voice. "Huh?"

Jigen looked at Lupin suspiciously, sensing the complete change in demeanor. "When you said kiss, how much of a kiss are we talking about?"

"A small kiss on the lips," he answered with a nervous laugh. "What do you think I meant?"

Jigen looked away, not sure how he should feel, Lupin once seeming believable, but now obviously lying about it. Thinking, he grinned and looked over at Lupin. "Did it give you an erection?"

"Screw you," Lupin said.

"I was just kidding," Jigen laughed.

"You think I liked it?" Lupin asked in anger.

"I never said you did. And I say we drop this conversation."

"Fine with me," Lupin muttered.

In a way, Lupin was sad at Jigen's complete disgust at the thoughts of being attracted to a man, but he knew that expecting otherwise was wishful thinking. He was happy to have gotten what he did. And even if the love he got back was from a drunk and horny man, it was a drunk and horny man that he loved. And to Lupin, that was all that mattered.