Chapter 36

"It seems your internal clock is working just fine," Kakashi remarked quietly as Sakura hopped up on the branch he occupied and sat at his feet. "I was just about to wake you for your shift."

"I couldn't sleep," she admitted, picking at a loose piece of bark next to her hip.

He slipped his book into his pocket. "Why not?"

Sakura looked down over the campsite to where Sarada slept on the other side of the fire, which had burned down until it was just embers. "I don't know really …" She turned her head toward his. "I think I'm too excited."

"To be on a mission?"

She smiled softly. "Yeah … I feel kind of … I don't know … free?"

One corner of his mouth lifted in understanding. "There is something about being out here, isn't there?"

"Mm," she concurred and tilted her head back to look at the stars through the leaves, her hands holding onto the branch below her. "Even the night sky is prettier ... It's been a long time since I've been able to see it without village lights getting in the way."

"It's peaceful," Kakashi said. "Makes you realize that there's so much more out there than just you."

Sakura nodded, eyes still on the midnight blue of the sky. "Yeah … you'd think that would be unsettling or depressing or something, but it's kind of the opposite … it puts all those day-to-day concerns into perspective, like the things that worry you aren't always as big of a deal as they seem." She let her gaze fall to the forest around them. "It's hard to remember that when you're caught up in your normal routines."

Kakashi hummed in agreement, and they sat in a companionable silence for several minutes.

"I miss it," she said, her voice so low it was almost a whisper. "I mean, I knew I missed it, but this makes me realize just how much." Her eyes slid toward his, and the sadness in them made his heart hurt.

"Sakura …" he began, but she cut him off.

"I know," she sighed, turning away from him to look down at her daughter again.

"Come here," he murmured.

Her brow furrowed as she caught his gaze. "What?"

"Come here," he repeated, letting his legs slip apart.

"I can't … Sarada's right there," she frowned. "You know that."

"Sakura, I can hear her breathing from here; I'll be in my bedroll the second it changes," he replied flatly. "Come here and sit with me."

Her heart skipped a beat at the way he was regarding her, and she found herself settling between his legs, her back against his chest, before she could talk herself out of it.

How could she hope to fight him when she wanted it too?

She let out a sigh and dropped her head back onto his collarbone when he wrapped his arms around her. The stars seemed to burn brighter with him enveloping her body, filling her with that warm and fuzzy feeling she was quickly becoming addicted to.

"I had a dream like this once," she said, suddenly remembering that morning not so long ago.

"Like what?" he asked, his deep voice pleasantly close.

"We were in a tree like this, but it was daytime, and we were watching Sarada practice a jutsu you'd just taught her." She smiled and put her hands over his. "Well, you were reading your book, but I think you were watching her too."

He chuckled, the rumbling sound making her snuggle into him. "Probably."

"It was a good dream," she added, almost inaudibly, then paused. "... That was the night before we fought in the woods …"

"Mm," he hummed, and she could feel his cheeks moving against the side of her head as he grinned and tightened his hold on her.

Her heart was overfull again, and she let herself lean even further into his embrace.

Kakashi felt her relaxing against him, and then he heard her breathing even out, and he knew she had fallen asleep.

It made his chest swell that she was comfortable enough with him, trusted him enough, to fall asleep in his arms just like that.

God, he loved this woman.

But then he turned his head to look down at the girl who looked so much like her father, and his heart ached for the whole situation. He wanted the both of them to be happy - wanted to make both of them happy - but he couldn't without hurting Sasuke, and, honestly, probably Sakura and Sarada-chan too.

Really, he already was, even if only one of the three knew it.

And he didn't know if Sakura would ever give him the chance to make them happy ...

Sure, she was with him now, but what would happen when Sasuke returned? What would happen if he decided to stay?

Kakashi found himself torn. Would it be best for them to remain a family? Would it be too late for Sakura and Sasuke to repair their marriage?

Of course he wanted Sakura, and he had grown somewhat surprisingly fond of the relationship he'd formed with Sarada-chan … he hadn't realized how much he had been missing not having family. Would all of that be lost if Sasuke came back? Could he ever build a family with someone else?

He sincerely doubted it. There was something about Sakura … he was sure that the length of time they'd known each other, everything they'd been through, was a large part of it, but she also seemed to understand him, and for all her complaining, he knew she accepted him for who he was.

They were also oddly alike … despite the stark difference between her fiery, impulsive temperament and his detached, laid-back one, they valued the same things, viewed the world in much the same way.

And she made him want things he'd never wanted … he hadn't been kidding when he'd told her he wouldn't mind making babies with her - really, he'd downplayed it; the more time he spent with Sakura and Sarada-chan, the more he wanted to see Sakura pregnant with his child, wanted to watch Sarada-chan teach his son or daughter things that he'd taught her, wanted another little person or two or three at the dinner table.

He sighed. Thoughts like that only reinforced what he already knew - the longer this went on, the more hurt he would be if she chose Sasuke. At the same time, though, he couldn't not try, not with the way she'd been when Sasuke took off after the clones.

… What if Sasuke came back only to leave again? Would Sakura finally decide that she'd had enough? Would she let him build a family with her?

It was a mess.

He wished things could be simple, but he had no idea how they ever could be. For now, he supposed, all he could do was wait and see.

And hold her for as long as she'd let him.

A/N: So this sort of just popped out. I swear this story has a mind of its own.