CChapter 35

"That was…incredible," Angel said slowly, his voice still tainted heavily with disbelief as he shook his head, eyes open a little wider than usual. "How did that…did she…"

"Some thing called a Transcuerpo… little parting gift from the Mayor," Buffy sighed, pacing around a little as she spoke. "Something went wrong, the spell went bad, and here she is."

"And she doesn't remember," Angel stated, remaining still as Buffy moved around him. "She doesn't know who or what she is…what she became."

"No," Buffy said softly, stopping to look up at him, feeling quiet gratitude that he seemed to accept this, to understand. "No…she's just a little girl now. That's all."

Rethinking that quickly, she added, "Well a little girl who still has Slayer powers…but other than that…"

"And you haven't figured out how to change her back yet," Angel went on, watching her expression, and Buffy shook her head, sighing again.

"No…and Angel…I don't even want to."

Angel thought this over, his forehead creasing slightly, and Buffy wondered as she so often had around him what it was that he was thinking. When he spoke his voice was calm, quiet.

"I'll call Wesley, if you would like. I'll tell him what's going on, and maybe he can help in some way. He won't mess it up like he did the last time… trust me, I won't allow that to happen. If he doesn't already know a way to re-age her then he can research, I'm sure. Once you have that knowledge, you'll have all your options there so you can decide what to do."

Buffy smiled as she looked up at him, silently thankful. He wasn't going to give her his opinion, to tell her what she should or shouldn't do…maybe he got that it wasn't his place to. Whatever his reason, she was glad for it.

She tried to bat away the little nagging voice reminding her that Riley certainly hadn't been as she replied.

"Thanks…between Wesley, Giles, Willow, and the others, I'm sure we'll find a re-aging spell that would work on her soon."

Angel nodded, his eyes still fixed on hers; when he cleared his throat, shifting his weight slightly, Buffy waited, letting him take the lead.

"Well…I guess you don't need me here, then," he said, his eyes on hers, searching… for what? Was it something she didn't' even want him to see? "You see to have it all under control for now."

"Yeah," Buffy replied, her voice quiet, and she looked back at him, hoping that it could just end like this… if only things could be so simple in reality as they might appear in words. "Yeah, I think we do, Angel. We've got it covered."

"Okay," Angel replied, nodding briefly, but he did not back away from her, nor did he lower his gaze. Very aware of his eyes locked on hers, Buffy wanted to break the visual contact, to turn away. But somehow she couldn't… she just waited , knowing he had more to say.

"Buffy if you need anything…help with her, if you change her back.."

She waited for him to finish, but he let the words trail off, an open offer, half extended but not entirely within her grasp. She knew Angel was sincere, but she also knew how dire the situation would have to be before she could make herself ask him for help, with anything.

"I'll call you," she told him, "if I need you."

He nodded, and for several moments a silence hung between them, born more from a faint sadness and reflection of how very changed things were…how changed they were… rather than discomfort. After some time Buffy looked up at him again, attempting to clarify herself.

"Angel… thank you for being concerned," she told him quietly. "For wanting to help, if I needed it. But I got it…I'm okay."

As she held his eyes with her own, she hoped he understood that she was talking about more than the current situation. And he seemed to. Regarding her seriously, Angel nodded, his tone matching hers.

"I know." Several moments passed with them simply watching each other, attempting to forge an understanding, before he spoke again. "So…take care then, Buffy… I'll…I'll see you."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed, and she knew it was true. Even if she never came to Angel again, and he never came to her, some part of her would always see him, whether or not she wanted to…if only in dreams. "I'll see you."

As Angel turned, with one last look, and began to walk away, eventually disappearing into the darkness before him, Buffy stared after him, not really focusing on him so much as her own thoughts. She would never be with Angel again… she knew this, she knew she couldn't be, and really didn't even want to be anymore, not if she truly thought about it. But to see him still filled her with a bittersweetness that she let take over her for a minute or two. She allowed her mind to wander down the path of impossibilities she knew did nothing for her to even consider.

As she finally turned, heading towards the cemetery to begin her patrol, Buffy took out her cell phone t let her mother and Giles know where she was. As she spoke first with her mother, continuing to walk, she was too distracted by her run of thoughts and current activities to notice Riley in the shadows a distance from her where she and Angel had been standing, watching with his lips thinned and his eyes narrowed. As Buffy continued to walk, he turned abruptly, striding in the opposite direction at a rapid pace.

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When Buffy returned from patrolling a few hours later, she felt much more at ease. The slaying pure physical activity had adrenalized her, and she called out a greeting to whoever happened to be listening and interested before heading straight for the kitchen to make a snack. Her mother came to stand behind her as she brought her selections to the table, smiling wryly.

"You might want to talk to Faith, Buffy… she was very disappointed that you left without her with Angel. She apparently is in quite the rush to go kill some more 'bad ugly men,'" Joyce informed her, some amusement in her tone, but also an edge of exasperation and concern. "I couldn't get her to sit still or calm down. She's been pacing all through house since you left, but once she heard you come in she went upstairs."

Buffy sighed, first inclination being to roll her eyes at Faith's stubbornness. But then she thought it a little more… had she hurt her feelings? It was strange to think a little girl's feelings could be hurt because she couldn't go killing vampires and demons with her, but this WAS Faith here… and she was apparently very proud of her new abilities to "kick ass." Maybe she was hurt that Buffy was implying she was weak or something…

Or maybe, it occurred to her slowly, Faith felt like she /needed/ to slay. She was still a Slayer, after all, and as an older girl Faith had enjoyed slaying immensely. She had seemed to need it and crave it, even to get off on it. Buffy knew she herself grew irritable and restless if she skipped slaying for a few nights, or if the patrolling was uneventful, and she knew how good it felt to dust a vampire…was Faith pacing all around the house not just because she was an active, easily bored and distracted child, but also because she was feeling a physical need to do something active and violent…to go slaying?

Buffy sighed as she looked over at her mother, knowing full well she couldn't tell her that. It would only worry he to think that Faith not only want but actually NEED to slay.. .

"I'll talk to…is she in my room?"

"I think so, honey…once you're finished here, that's what I'd do," Joyce said, smiling at her briefly, but she still looked distracted, worried. "I tried to talk to her earlier but I think it's you she needs to hear."

Buffy nodded, frowning too now, and Joyce waited a few moments, before prodding gently.

"So…Angel, he's…"

"Left," Buffy replied, glancing up at her and holding her eyes meaningfully. "He's getting Wesley and Cordelia to help us research…but he left."

"I see," Joyce nodded, and though they didn't say another word, Buffy could tell that she was assured, that she did see. They remained together in not-uncomfortable quiet until Buffy finished her food and stood to make her way upstairs to Faith.

Faith was sitting on the floor by Buffy's bed when she opened the door, her hair dry and tangled down her back. Obviously she hadn't combed it or let Joyce do so either, from the look of it. She had her Matchbox cars surrounding her and was making them crash into each other repeatedly, complete with sound effects. Buffy grinned, moving to sit down beside her, and Faith looked up quickly, then just as quickly turned her attention back to the cars, pretending complete fascination.

"Hey, Faith," Buffy tried for cheerful, and when the child ignored her, she was amused to see that her scowl kept wavering into something almost like a pout. She had never seen Faith pout before and found it incredibly funny.

When Faith didn't answer, she sighed, regarding her more seriously. "Come on, Faith, look at me. Why are you upset with me right now?"

"You went without me," Faith muttered, her forehead scrunched up, and she continued to display the same partial scowl, partial pout as she looked down intently at her cars. "You took that girly guy instead of me, and I wanted to go kill some bad guys with you. And Joyce said no. I coulda went anyway but I didn't. I was good. But I wanna go and that's dumb you won't let me 'cause I can do it."

"I see," Buffy replied, nodding speaking quietly, calmly, and trying to address Faith as if she were not a child but someone equal to her. Obviously that was one of the things upsetting her, being considered young or little… even if she seemed oblivious to the fact that she weighed fifty pounds. "So you're upset I didn't ask you to go, and that Mom told you that you couldn't."

She had to force herself not to snicker at Faith's description of Angel as "that girly guy." She could just imagine his expression if he had heard that…

"Yeah," Faith muttered, and she was still holding her little cars as she looked over at Buffy, a little more willing to vocalize her irritation to her now. "I'm not a baby."

"I know," Buffy assured her gently, and she looked Faith in the eyes as she spoke to her quietly. "We just want you to be safe though, Faith…that's all anyone's trying to do here. We don't want anyone or anything to hurt you."

Faith stared back at her, and she nodded very faintly, licking her lips. Buffy knew she believed her, or at least was trying to, but she still didn't look very happy.

"They're not gonna hurt me…not anymore," the little girl said softly. "I'm not gonna let them."

Buffy watched her, wondering what thoughts could be going through her head, but she didn't ask. After everything else today, she was pretty sure she had a good idea, or enough to not want to know more. Instead, she touched Faith's tangled hair gently.

"I have an idea, Faith…you want to fight a little while? Have a little fun? Then why don't you let me comb your hair, and then we can go down to the basement and I'll show you some moves. Maybe I'll even let you fight me a while. What do you think?"

At that, Faith's eyes brightened, and she nodded quickly, her resentment replaced by excitement. "Uh-huh, let's go!"

She started to jump up, but Buffy took hold of her wrist, smiling. Well, she'd found a way to motivate her to do things finally… one that didn't involve asking her mother to ask her.

"Sit down, Faith, hair first, remember? Go get your comb for me."

As Faith grabbed it up from the dresser with impatience and sat with back presented to Buffy hurriedly, Buffy began to gently pick through its knots as she had the day before. Faith squirmed regardless, and Buffy attempted to distract her with talking.

"So, what did you think of Angel, Faith?"

"I like him better than that other guy," Faith said after thinking about it for a few seconds seriously. "But he's weird and kinda girly. I think I could kick his ass probably. Yep…I could."

At that, Buffy couldn't help herself. Letting the comb drop to the floor, she burst out laughing, made all the more hysterical by Faith's stare of total uncomprehension.

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Around an hour later, Buffy heard her mother call for her. She wasn't sure what it was for; maybe they had been too loud, or maybe Joyce thought it was time Faith settled down so she would be able to go to sleep. Maybe it was something else entirely.

Buffy looked over at Faith, grinning in spite of herself. In the past hour the little girl had done cartwheels, backflips, and jump, tuck and rolls around the mats Buffy had set out for her on the basement floor, always landing well and ready to jump out at any attackers. Buffy had started to show her basic self-defense and fighting moves and quickly realized that it wasn't necessary; the child's muscle memory had somehow remained with her, even though her physical muscles were very much smaller than they had been. Before long, the tiny seven-year-old was hitting and kicking Buffy's punching bag, boxing her, and even sparring her. As completely weird as it was to be fighting a little girl half her size, at the same time it felt right…familiar. She consoled herself with the fact that she wasn't really giving it her all though. She didn't want to hurt Faith, even accidentally… the girl had already been hurt too many times before. Buffy was amazed she would even allow Buffy to spar with her, to seem as if she might be about to hurt her in any way, even if it were all in fun. Either Faith had very badly needed to hit on someone, or she trusted her even more than Buffy had thought now.

Pulling away from Faith, almost laughing at how brightly Faith's eyes shone, at the dimples cutting into her cheeks, she called back up to Joyce, "Coming!" before turning back to Faith, giving her a playful tap on the shoulder with her knuckle. "Be right back, Rocky."

She grinned when Faith giggled, and as she reached the top of the stairs Joyce handed her the telephone. Buffy looked at her curiously as she stepped out of the basement.

"Who is it?"

"I'm not sure…he's British and his voice sounds familiar but it's not Giles," Joyce said slowly, and Buffy's stomach dropped. British… the Council? Was it the Council? Oh shit…

As she took the phone, her heart was pounding and she swallowed, trying to normalize her voice. "Hello?"

"Buffy? This is…this is Wesley Wyndham-Price," came the voice on the other end of the line somewhat awkwardly. "Angel told me about the…situation…and I think I've found a spell…well, a counter spell…"

Buffy sat down as the "oh shit" in her thoughts repeated with entirely different connotations.