"Leave Kabuto to me," says Itachi, standing up and walking towards the boy with glasses.
Fugaku frowns, wondering what Itachi has in mind.
"Sasuke, you and I are going to put the power Old Man Paperclips gave us to good use and kill his annoying little brother Zetsu," says Naruto jumping up and pulling Sasuke along behind him.
"Danzo is mine!" screams Mikoto, leaping up and throwing off the dress she just put back on.
"Actually," says Tsunade, hiding a smile. "You might want to kill Orochimaru. He has been after your sons' young, beautiful bodies since you died…"
"Orochimaru, you are going to die!" Mikoto switches targets. Orochimaru runs for his life, and Mikoto gives chase.
"Tsunade sensei," asks the Pink One. "Can I join the battle?"
"Have you mastered the Hundred Healings Jutsu?" asks Tsunade rhetorically.
"Hold on one second," says the Pink One, making the sign for molding chakra. A purple diamond appears on her forehead. "Yes, I have," she says smiling.
"Go kick some booty," says Tsunade.
Smiling, Sakura gets up and marches towards Danzo, emitting dark Killing Intent. "You are going to die for what you have done," she says her voice hard as a ten foot thick concrete wall reinforced with thirty centimeters of double-hardened steel plating.
Danzo starts to back away in fear. "You again…!" he starts to unwrap the bandages around his arm.
Sakura darts forward, grabs Danzo's arm and rips it off. She tosses it to Fugaku. "I believe this belongs to your clan."
Fugaku pulls back the bandages revealing around a dozen sharingan implanted in the fake arm. "Hey, that is my second cousin twice removed on my father's side's sister-in-law's first cousin's left eye!" says Fugaku angrily. That cousin of his second cousin twice removed on his father's side's sister in law was a great guy.
"You think that is all you need to defeat me?" demands Danzo, pulling off the bandages covering his right eye.
"That's MY eye!" Fugaku snaps. "Break him in half, Pink Thing!"
Sakura does just that. Unfortunately, Danzo uses the Izanagi to undo her handy work. Sakura simply turns him into mushy Danzo flat-cakes.
"You raised quite the apprentice, Tsunade," says Fugaku approvingly.
"Her intense training regime gave her strength a half times stronger than my own," says Tsunade. "On top of that, she built up her natural chakra level at an accelerated rate in order to master the Hundred Healings in a year. She mastered it in ten months." Tsunade smiles in pride as her apprentice seals what's left of Danzo into a scroll, because who wants to see that while they are on a picnic.
Sakura strides back over to the picnic area and hands the scroll to Tsunade. "One Danzo Shimura, dead," she reports. Then she turns to Fugaku. "You know; Sasuke, Naruto and I read the official documents about the massacre, but one thing doesn't quite add up," she says, frowning. "Why would a clan plot a coup d'etat against the leaders of a village it help to found?"
"Is that story still going around?" asks Mikoto, appearing beside Fugaku and putting her clothes back on.
"Where's Orochi-pedo?" asks Sakura. "And is the official report about the Massacre not true?"
"Unfortunately, the old snake reverse summoned himself too far away for me to bother chasing him down," sighs Mikoto. "And yes, the official report is false. This is how it went down...
"...and that's my plan to sacrifice Danzo to Jashin," Mikoto Uchiha finishes addressing her clan. "I will need your cooperation to make this plot go smoothly. DO NOT, and I repeat NOT, let him get wind of this, or he will make it look like we're plotting a coup and have us executed. Am I clear?"
A chorus of "Yes Mikoto sama." rumbles its way around the room.
A few months later...
"Aw crap. Danzo heard about my plan, didn't he?" sighs Mikoto as she sees the full scale carnage that her 13 year old son created in the last few minutes.
"Most definitely," agrees Fugaku, hands on his hips. "I guess the only choice for us now is to honourably face execution." They go to their house to wait for Itachi to come for them, glad that Sasuke is late home from school.
Finally, Itachi arrives. "I'm sorry," he says. "We tried to stop it, but after Danzo took Shisui's eye, there was nothing we could do."
"Just kill us," Fugaku says, facepalming. "Oh and before I go, I have some things to tell you. Listen very carefully, I'm only going to say this once; don't let Sasuke do anything stupid, like, for example, leaving the village to train with Orochimaru, then become an S rank missing nin, because that would suck. Especially if he tried to destroy Konoha, or something stupid like that. Also, don't let him find out where babies come from til he's 35...
"Do you want grandkids or not?!" demands Mikoto.
"Itachi can handle that," shrugs Fugaku.
"But..." Itachi's voice shakes. "...Tobi just killed my girlfriend."
Mikoto sighs sadly. "Well," she says, trying to find something good about the situation. "At least Jashin will be proud of the slaughter my son did tonight. Means I'll die in his favour." Her eyes start shining in that 'I'm about to go all Grim Reaper' way.
Afraid she will ruin the clan's good name by going on a killing spree of her own, Fugaku snaps, "Hurry up and kill us, dammit!"
"And that is how it really went down," finishes Mikoto, smugly.
"Huh," says Sakura.
There is a giant explosion from the direction of Sasuke and Naruto's loud and flashy fight with Zetsu. Fugaku glances over to see how the fight is going. Sasuke and Naruto are each holding an end of something black and slimy-looking.
"Zetsu!" Tobi yells, disappearing and reappearing beside Naruto.
"NARUTO!" the JUC jumps into action, well the awake members of it do, anyway.
Fu, Han, Roshi, B, Yugito and Yagura, along with their tailed beasts, attack Tobi. Every attack they throw at him misses for some reason. Fugaku activates his Sharingan and watches Tobi's moves.
"What's up with his chakra?" mutters Hiashi. "It keeps vanishing in places then reappearing!"
"He is using a technique of the Mangekyou Sharingan!" Fugaku realizes.
"He has a rinnegan under his mask!" says Neji, who is also examining Tobi with his doujutsu.
"FU!" Yugito shouts, drawing their attention to the fact that Tobi has Fu by the throat and is choking her.