Chapter 35: Ianto is Retrained and Released
Four weeks of triple psychology sessions a day later, my system pumped up with anti-libido drugs and slapped with anti-libido patches, I was learning how to be a barista, and reduced to only once daily sessions with my psych team.
I could just about remember some details from the months or years that I spent as the Master's Toy when I was falling a sleep. A voice in my memory would remind me that I would forever be the Masters good toy, and I only had to wait for him to come back and pick me up.
There was very little I could reveal to the Torchwood shrinks, even when Director Yvonne Hartman had approved of some very invasive procedures enhanced with technology found from alien sources. And most of my memory of the time with The Master, except the urge to be filled and fucked was hidden from my conscious mind, too.
The first time my lube of the month club package arrived, I rushed to open it and spread it on my normal earth-based, penis shaped vibrator. I had rigged up a sturdy, mechanical mount with contemporary technology. It was like being laid and getting high all at the same time. No matter where I moved, or got stationed, I got lube of the month club. It was fantastic.
Objectively, I knew that I was being manipulated. This was the story of my adult life from the moment Torchwood had recruited me. I had to find my choice and free will within the system's confines. Even though my priorities had been reshaped, there was no withdrawal symptom other than wanting to be just as high and sexually satisfied as I had been while My Master had been programming me to be that way.
When the Doctor had been coming in my mind he offered to try and fix it, his mind whispering gently to me, stroking my pleasure centers asking me to be his companion until I could be fixed. But he above all others respected free will, and I didn't want to be changed.
My Master was right about the permanent changes, maybe before my seduction I would have though of this as a bad thing, but come on, it was just about sex. I just wanted mine just a bit often than most and had the will to get it shamelessly.
I even suggested to the Doctor as he was coming in my mind that he could try to fix me, if I went with him and he came in my mind every day. That's when the Doctor stopped talking to my rational mind and just quickly fucked me into an oblivion of bliss and euphoria. It was, in fact, the best turn down that I could ever receive. I would keep that sense memory with me during times when I couldn't be filled, and it would help me cope somewhat.
The nights before my anniversary, not that I knew it was coming the first time, I would start to remember in vivid details long stretches of time I was under My Master's ministrations.
Two years later I was dating Lisa, working as a junior researcher and really only remembering my time as a toy when it was my anniversary.
The first time my anniversary was approaching, Yvonne had provided me with hookers. The second year she was thinking of making me a field agent again and wanted to see me kill. So she hired escorts who didn't know that if I didn't come that I would kill them (and fuck their dead corpses for hours) or that towards the end it would take me longer and longer to come. I didn't know she was going to do that though. I killed four girls and Yvonne gave me a pay raise. I was sick to my stomach after I recovered from the ten hours of mental and physical pain on level 30, three times more that any human could take and survive; and concentrated on the archives.
Having the anniversary and killing the girls also reminded me that I really could only eat and keep the substance down from out of a pulsing cock, and I needed to set that up for myself at home.
Yvonne also made herself girl 4 the first year and girl 6 the second, meaning I had already killed two girls by the time I fucked her so called twin sister. The third year I was with Lisa. I thought she could be the first four lays for me, but I still needed to turn to willing girls for the next four fucks, not wanting to rely on Yvonne's choices…
To this day, I had no illusions that Yvonne did not have a twin sister.
Lisa helped me find the kinkiest girls who liked long fucks… and she watched. But Yvonne had to watch, too. That was part of the terms of our employment agreement.
Since Lisa had decided that this would not count as cheating, I figured I shouldn't tell her about my life and times at gay clubs just to keep my libido satisfied, and that I was mixing the suppression drug regime with my lube of the month club packet in my overall lifestyle. I was able to concentrate at work, that was important. It helped that we weren't living together at first, and our work schedules varied from each other.
And, fortunately other times during the year, I could get myself off without another person present. It helped that I worked in the archives; I usually had time at lunch and then right when I got home at night. And then early in the morning before I had breakfast. Oh, and this was on top of taking libido reducing drugs, every damn day.