A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)
IndyGirl89-I PMed you so I won't repeat myself here and make you reread it, lol:P
Love Elsa a lot-Sorry, I like things to be logical even if it's about magic.:)
Elsa Tomago-I PMed you so I won't make you reread the same thing here:)
moohamquest-That's a sore spot for Elsa-she just wants everyone to respect Anna.:)
FluffyKitten-Well, Nikoleta will be a bit standoffish around Elsa for a little while, but no big deal. Elsa gets huffy when people don't give Anna the same respect they are willing to give her, and to be fair she wasn't all that nice to her friend, lol. Thank you:) And yes, both Elsa and Linnae are okay at the moment. Eh, I can't feel bad for Hans after everything he's done. I must say I was quite pleased after Elsa very politely dissed his attempts to get her to return his feelings. Sorry not sorry Hans, that's not happening. Elsa cannot trust you. And no, I don't think Elsa will ever marry. It's just not her thing, and I think a lot of people would just take advantage of her. I just don't think a romantic relationship would be in-character or good for her at all. Well, watch out for angry-Elsa in this chapter and the next.:P
Poor Queen Elsa-While I do see your point, I don't agree. I think little Elsa (pre-accident) DID have full control of her magic. She hits Anna because Anna won't slow down and tries unsuccessfully to catch her, not because she cannot control her magic. And, as for the Let It Go sequence, she's kept her magic bottled up inside for 13 years-so of course she has plenty of power stored to do all of those things. Notice she doesn't thaw anything in that sequence. She merely CREATES things. What Elsa doesn't know how to do at that point is thaw what she makes, not the actual production of said things. Elsa is scared when she shoots the icicles in the ballroom. She's happy (at least mostly) on the North Mountain; she thinks she can let her magic out without hurting anyone there. Since it's easy for Elsa to control her magic when she's happy, she's able to build her ice palace and everything with no problem. When she hits Anna in the heart, she did that when she was literally having a panic attack. She tried to stop the storm, pulled it all inside her, and then it all exploded out of her again. There is no way she could really control her magic in that state even if she did know the key to controlling her powers. And, I have watched Avatar:The Last Airbender, and the bending in the series doesn't seem to work anything like Elsa's magic does. Since the powers are different I do not think that is a fair comparison.:)
On to the story!
Elsa headed upstairs, only to find a distraught Gerda waiting for her. "Gerda, what's the matter?"
"Miss Elsa, your kitty is hurt," Gerda replied worriedly, hurrying Elsa toward the kitchen. "I was dumping some old lemonade outside and I found her. I put her in here next to the oven since it's warm. But-" Gerda was interrupted by Elsa's horrified scream.
Elsa had instantly sat down on the floor next to Kolfinnia the second she'd seen her, angry tears filling her blue eyes. "What happened? Did some wild animal chew her leg?" she asked. I don't think an animal would have done that…a wild animal probably would have…eaten her or something. She shuddered at that thought. At least Kolfinnia was alive and didn't seem to be particularly frightened or anything.
"I don't think so, honey," Gerda said gently. "There was a note tied to her tail. A human did it to her."
"Why would someone hurt Kolfinnia like that? She's just an innocent cat, and-"
"And she's yours, Miss Elsa. She was targeted to hurt you. There's something else, too. Look at the note."
Elsa sighed and took the note. She crumpled the note in her fist seconds later, her expression scared but determined. "That Hans was telling the truth. They're after me and Anna's in danger. Gerda, get Rapunzel now. I know you weren't sure who it was okay to tell, but I want Kolfinnia to be all right. Rapunzel can fix her."
"Miss Elsa, you cannot leave the castle right now," Kai told her minutes later. "Gerda told you she sent a dozen guards out to look for your sister. They'll find her. We know she was going to the bookstore, so we have a place to start."
"I can leave the castle, and I will. I will not just sit around while Anna might be being…kidnapped or worse. You saw Kolfinnia." Elsa set her mouth in a determined line and awkwardly climbed onto Linnae, who had returned by then. "Olaf is most likely at my ice palace. Linnae and I will get Olaf, and then he can find Anna for us."
"Miss Elsa, listen to me. I think that renegade prince was telling the truth. We can't risk you being hurt or poisoned like that. You have a lot of…pain in your past, and I have no wish to see what an angry version of you would do," Kai told her.
"I'm wearing my ice-armor. They can't shoot me," Elsa responded. "And you would be safe around angry-me," she added quietly.
"Your neck, face, and hands are showing. That's enough. A small dart containing whatever the drug or poison is can still hit you. Miss Elsa, Linnae got poisoned somehow, and she is covered in your impenetrable ice. That's not good enough. Not to mention, you got very little sleep last night in Weselton, and now you're going out again tonight. Send Linnae instead and order her not to eat anything, and keep her big dragon mouth shut so nothing can get inside her that way." Kai frowned as he helped Elsa down. "And, Miss Elsa, it's not me that I would be worried about, or even our citizens. It's the building damage, and the very, very good chance that you could wipe out an army in a minute."
"I have to help look for Anna! I shouldn't have let her leave in the first place!" Elsa exclaimed, trying to pull herself away from Kai. "Let me go! Please!"
"I can't order you to stay here, Miss Elsa, but you really need to stay here at home. If the same people that hurt your cat do have your sister, they can't kill her without losing their leverage against you," Kai said firmly. "They'd just be asking for trouble and making you retaliate.
But Elsa shook her head, suddenly absolutely sure of something. But they want me to retaliate… "Kai…these people are the same ones that want to make me some angry, dark version of myself. They want me to retaliate. That means they may very well hurt or…o-or kill Anna, just to get to me. I'd be giving them what they want by going after them, yes, but…but Anna's life is not safe. This isn't the same thing as what every other time this sort of thing has happened was. I know it's not." Elsa's big blue eyes were filled with tears as she decided exactly what she needed to do. "Get Rapunzel and Eugene and send them home to Corona on Linnae. Linnae knows what she needs to do so she's not poisoned again, so it will be safe. Then assume my authority 'til I get back. Here." Elsa quickly created a small sheet-of-paper-sized ice and etched a message on it. "There. Now nobody can question your decisions, either." She signed her name at the bottom and then handed it to Kai. "I don't think anyone can argue that that's not official."
"Miss Elsa. Slow down. If you are right, then they must have some way to neutralize you until they want you. Then we'll have you and your sister missing." Kai frowned as Elsa shook her head and headed straight toward the gates. No matter what I say, Elsa will still leave. This is exactly what that little scoundrel meant when he said everyone knew exactly what Elsa's weakness was. She just wants Anna back home safe. "At least promise me you'll defend yourself if need be."
Elsa stopped in her tracks and gave a single abrupt nod. "Just not at the expense of Anna's or anyone else's safety," she said softly without turning around. Then she kept walking.
Once outside the gates, Elsa leaned against the castle wall, letting herself blend into the dark shadows as she tried to think exactly what she should do that would give her the best chances of finding Anna. If she was lucky, her castle guards would have found Anna and Kristoff at that bookstore and were bringing them home right now. At worst, Anna was already gone and the bad people that had her were just waiting for Elsa herself to show up. Come on, Elsa, be logical. If you were the bad terrorist people, what would you do?
Elsa was still thinking when her sharp eyes noticed a masked figure in dark clothes nearby. She waited, pretending to be oblivious, until the someone was nearly on top of her before letting her magic spring into action. In less than a second ice encased the figure up to its neck. Don't say anything, Elsa. Make him-her?-talk first. She did, however, yank the mask off the person's head. It was a girl that probably wasn't even her age.
"Looks like I backed the wrong side for the amount of money I'm getting," the girl deadpanned in English. Elsa thought she had a bit of a Scottish accent, but she wasn't completely sure.
Elsa raised one eyebrow skeptically. "What, exactly, were you being paid to do?" she asked. If this girl was just being paid by the bad terrorist people, she probably wasn't particularly loyal to them; she just wanted her money.
The girl looked Elsa right in the face. She was actually a bit shorter than Elsa, who wasn't really all that tall herself. "Just knock you out and take you to the dock. Give you some serum thing," she said casually. "I need money for my brothers and me to get a-back home. If I help you instead, will you let me go and help me rescue my brothers? Name's Meri."
Elsa frowned. "How do I know you won't betray me as easily as you did your previous employer?" she asked, although she was certain the girl wasn't lying.
"You could always freeze me like you just did," Meri said truthfully. She actually didn't like her 'previous employers', but she needed the money.
Elsa nodded curtly and freed the girl. "Take me to my sister then." She briefly worried Meri was merely trying to get her trust just to stab her in the back when she had the chance, but she tried to stuff that worry away. Right now Meri was her best chance to get to Anna quickly.
Meri started toward the dock, and Elsa immediately frowned a minute later. "The dock is where you said you were supposed to take me. I am not following you there," she said firmly.
"Well, that's where they'll take your sister. They won't have gotten back yet, though."
"Then we will intercept them on the way. I am not putting one toe on any boat or ship," Elsa replied instantly. She yelped when Meri abruptly yanked her into the shadows. "What are you doing?!" she hissed in frustration. "I don't have time to waste-I need to find An-"
Meri merely clapped her hand over Elsa's mouth. "I'm not getting myself shot for you. They're coming. You rescue Anna yourself. I'm not having anything to do with it," she whispered. Then just like that, she slunk into an alley. "Go on."
Elsa sighed and brushed her sweaty palms on her skirt. I can do this. But make sure they have Anna before doing anything, Elsa. Don't be stupid. She stepped into the moonlight, allowing the small group to see her. "Stop in the name of the queen!" she ordered in her most authoritative voice. One, two, three, four, five, six. One big struggling sack. One…small stumbling cloak-person.
Before Elsa could decide what she wanted to do next, she felt a small sting on her neck. That's what Kai was worried about? she thought absently. Then just as quickly, she felt two shapes slam her to the ground, and she hit her head hard on the cobblestones. Head spinning, she instinctively lashed out with her magic instead. Ice exploded from her hands, and a wave of deathly cold hurricane-force wind literally threw the two assailants away from her. "What were you thinking attacking me?" she spat in disgust. Another wave of her hand and the other four would-be kidnappers were flung against the nearest building's brick wall. They crumpled to the ground. "Such incompetent imbeciles trying to steal my sister. You are going to pay for that!" she shouted. That's not me, that's not what I would say, Elsa thought, slightly panicked. She suddenly realized that those bad people had indeed succeeded in getting whatever serum Meri had mentioned into her. They had just failed to move quickly enough after the fact. This realization made her roll her eyes-they were so ridiculously stupid-until she remembered exactly what she had been confronting them about.
Anna. I'm rescuing Anna, she thought. Elsa spun around to see Anna kneeling on the ground, struggling to free her hands. In a second, Elsa had frozen the rope off Anna's wrists, and she instinctively hugged her little sister close. "I'll make those repulsive idiots pay," she muttered, half to herself and half to Anna.
"Kristoff…in the…bag," Anna said hesitantly. "They-they hurt him." She pulled away from Elsa and began searching her face. Elsa wasn't being…Elsa. Anna spotted the small mark on her sister's neck and immediately knew what was wrong. "Elsa, you…you gotta stay you. Don't not be…Elsa," she said softly.
"I am me." Elsa's blue eyes filled with angry tears when she saw Anna's face. She balled her hands into first and whipped around, more feeling than seeing those bad people recovered and coming up on her again. "Nobody hurts my sister! You will not lay one finger on her!" she nearly screamed. She whipped her hand out and instantaneously all but one of them were encased in ice. The final one-the one she thought was the leader-she held out her hand again like she was choking something and freezing cold air squeezed around his neck. Elsa, stop it. You've never even done that before in your life. How are you choking some big guy with your magic?
Who cares? He hurt Anna. I have the right to execute him for that. He's lucky I haven't killed him already. In a second she had literally thrown him and all of the others over the castle wall in one swift motion, and she instinctively yelped and tried to make a cushion of snow beneath them. She didn't want to kill those people. She didn't. So there.
Elsa turned back to Anna, who was now trying to help Kristoff out of the sack. "They are taken care of," she said proudly.
Anna just stared at her. "Elsa…why'd you do that? You didn't have to and you know it," she said quietly.
"They hurt you and wanted to kidnap us," Elsa said stubbornly, crossing her arms. "They should die."
Anna looked to Kristoff for help, but he only shrugged. "Maybe Dark Elsa is right," he muttered, rubbing his head. Not only did he have no interest in making a drugged, angry Elsa mad at him, those people kind of probably did deserve a bit of fear knocked into them. It'd serve them right if Elsa-even if it was merely her angry self-hurt them.
Elsa nodded in satisfaction. "See, Anna, he agrees with me. Those people were bad. I don't want them hurting you any more."
"I think we have a problem on our hands," Kai said to Gerda inside the castle courtyard. He frowned as he looked down at the literal pile of people he knew were the ones that Elsa had been going after to get Anna back. The pile of snow beneath them told Kai that Elsa was still at least partly in control of herself, but the fact that she had thrown them all over the wall did not bode well. He wondered if they were all even still alive. While Kai thought that Elsa's usual self was too merciful, this wasn't the way he wanted her to be either. If any of these people were indeed dead, Elsa would get horribly upset and most likely hurt herself or something if she realized what she had done when she was back to normal. Kai took a deep breath before instructing some guards to get all of the people into the dungeon as quickly as possible. "Must be done before Queen Elsa returns," he said firmly. I'll figure out what to do with them later. First priority is to keep Elsa…herself until whatever happened to her wears off.
"Elsa, listen to me. That isn't something my sweet big sister wants to do," Anna said firmly. "You do not want to go to Weselton and fuss at Dad. You want to come home and go to sleep 'til you feel back to normal again." She was sure 'Dark Elsa', as Kristoff had dubbed her, wouldn't hurt her, but a lot of other people were definitely not safe around her, and certainly not their parents.
"I want to go home and make sure you are okay," Elsa said flatly. A moment later, she had created a ramp right over to and over the castle wall. Another flick of her wrist and a sled big enough for her, Anna, and Kristoff appeared. "Get in."
Meri decided she would wait a couple days and approach Elsa again once she was back to her usual self. She would be one of the people that were not safe around Elsa at the moment.
"I'll freeze them!" Elsa said, sounding half-upset and half-angry a few minutes later.
Anna grabbed her sister's cold hands and just held them tightly. "Elsa, Dr. Raske said I was fine, remember?" Elsa had said the same thing every time she looked at the bruises on Anna's face and arms. "Look at me, Elsa. I. Am. Fine. They are just bruises and stuff."
"If I freeze them, they can't hurt you or anyone else ever again," Elsa replied logically. She seemed to be looking off into the distance as she added, "They hurt Anna. I have to defend her. That's my job."
"You did, Elsa. Now come on and put on some nightclothes and go to bed. Get rid of the ice-armor, all right?"
"I don't want to," was Elsa's childish-sounding response.
"Ok, fine. Go to bed and wear your silly uncomfortable ice-armor then," Anna told her. "You told me it wasn't comfortable last time. Just go to bed, Elsa." She sighed in relief as Elsa nodded and disappeared into the bathroom…then realized Elsa had not taken her usual nightgown into the bathroom with her.
Elsa came back seconds later dressed in some sparkly drapey thing that made Kristoff blush and look away. Anna yelped and threw a blanket around her. "Elsa, what on earth is that?! I don't care if you sleep in some ice-fabric clothes, but that is not appropriate!" She knew Elsa's magic did some funny things when she tried to make clothes-had teased her about it, even-but her modest big sister would have been horrified once she realized what she was wearing.
Sure enough, "real-Elsa" peeked through a moment later, and Elsa's pale cheeks turned red. What did I do?! "I'm sorry," she whispered, and grabbed her usual blue nightgown from her drawer and went back into the bathroom, her face still beet red.
Once Elsa was gone, Anna couldn't help laughing. "You two should have seen your faces!" she teased Kristoff. "You turned almost as red as silly ol' Elsa did!"
"That thing she was wearing looked…um…"
"Revealing?" Anna offered.
"Yeah. And that might be fine if it was you but it wasn't-oh, man, I just said the wrong thing, didn't I?" Kristoff rubbed his still sore head in confusion, half not even believing what was going on. "I feel like a brother to her, so that was just weird. And yet she didn't seem to be acting all…slinky either, y'know what I mean?"
Anna nodded and blushed herself. Elsa would kill her if she thought her little sister and Kristoff were…doing things, engaged or not. They weren't 'doing things', but still. "I don't think Elsa knows how to be 'slinky'," she said quietly. "I'll bet she just thought 'I want a nightgown' and that thing was what her magic gave her. And since she's not entirely…herself, she didn't realize there was something wrong with it."
Elsa came back a minute later, her cheeks still slightly pink and her hands clasped demurely in front of her. She went straight to Anna and just said quickly before she could change her mind, "I need you to let me borrow some gloves and promise to do…something to me should I try to hurt someone. I don't care what, just do something. Anna, I think…I think I killed one of those bad people. I…I'm scared." I wanted to go to Weselton and hurt Papa. I do not want to do that. A single tear trickled down her cheek, and she didn't bother to wipe it away. "Please don't leave me alone. Please." Elsa knew she needed an anchor of sorts to keep her from lashing out. That anchor was Anna. Even now she could feel the 'Dark Elsa' trying to get out. That Elsa wanted to go find all of the people that had hurt her and Anna and go eliminate them.
The sad part was that Elsa knew she could easily do that if she chose to. She probably didn't even need to leave the castle to do so. A sick sense of satisfaction welled within her-what do you think of that, you weak, pitiful girl? you could be powerful! you could eliminate all of the evil villains in the world with a flick of the wrist! you could be an empress! Papa wouldn't be able to say you aren't good enough anymore!- and she shoved it away.
Anna opened her mouth, about to say that gloves wouldn't help, that that had never helped, that Elsa could freeze through metal, so that was dumb…but she didn't. Whatever keeps Elsa sane right now. This can't last but more than a couple days-I heard those creeps say so. I just have to help her get through those days, that's all. "I promise I won't leave you alone, but I'm not promising to hurt you if need be," she said gently. "Kristoff, please go grab some gloves from my room. Check the floor under the dresser."
Kristoff decided not to ask Anna why there would be gloves on the floor under her dresser. Better he didn't know. He knew Anna was messy.
"And keep everyone but you, Kristoff, Gerda, and Kai away from me," Elsa added. She suddenly stiffened. "I don't need to keep anyone away from me. They had better just keep out of my way," she said in a flat voice. "I can do whatever I like. Nobody has the authority to tell me what to do." Elsa, that is technically true, but just stop it. You don't need to act like that and you know it.
Why shouldn't I? Not doing anything to stand up for myself when I was little just made me a wreck inside. I don't want that anymore. I want to be strong so that never happens again. And I want to keep Anna safe, no matter what.
"Shh, Elsa, just go to sleep," Anna said quietly. "You're right-nobody has the authority to do that, but you don't have to be all snobby, either. That's not you." How do I help her? It's like she's still Elsa and yet she's not. Anna wasn't sure what she should do or say to help.
Elsa willingly climbed under the covers, but she seemed tense and confused somehow. A bit of her was terrified that her magic would do something bad and she wouldn't even know about it, like when she'd frozen everything the year before. She held her hands close to her chest, stubbornly keeping her palms towards herself. Don't you dare mess up, Elsa. Don't hurt Anna. Don't hurt anyone else, either.
I don't need to worry about that. I can control it now, so stop bothering me. Who cares what happens as long as Anna is safe? She scrunched her eyes shut and pressed her hands over her ears, as if that would make her inner arguments disappear. "I just don't want to be that weak, pitiful girl people feel sorry for. There's nothing wrong with that! I could just get rid of all those bad people and…and…" Elsa blinked in confusion when she felt warm arms just holding her close. "Anna? My powers-they…they might do something, and-"
"No, they won't. Even if they did, you could fix it," Anna said firmly. She bit her own lip to keep from crying herself; she could feel Elsa was literally trembling, like she wouldn't be able to hold herself back much longer. "Think about something else. Something that makes you happy. Something warm, maybe." Anna knew even 'Dark Elsa' did not want to hurt her. She would not leave Elsa alone. She'd promised she wouldn't. Anna looked up when she heard footsteps and mouthed thank-you to Kristoff. "Here, Elsa. You wanted some stupid gloves. Here you go."
Elsa did not react beyond tensing up all over. She didn't want gloves, not one bit. Why does Anna want you to hide who you are, Elsa? She's just scared of how powerful you can be.
I TOLD her to bring them in here! Stop it!
This will show everyone who you really can be, the 'other' voice said in a pleased sort of way. Elsa felt a pleasant tingling in her very bones, an intense version of what she usually felt whenever she used her magic, and she abruptly sat up straight. "Anna…Anna, my magic just did something. What happened?" she asked worriedly. "It did something-I felt it-and…and there's no mess in here, and…" What happened?! I have to know! Another, stronger wave of the same sensation flowed through her, and she panicked. Snowflakes began swirling around her, and she pushed Anna away, worried something might happen to her, too. I don't want to deal with this again!
Anna wrapped a blanket around Elsa and just put both hands on her cold shoulders, looking right into the older girl's blue eyes. "Elsa. Elsa, look at me. I don't know what your powers did, but whatever it is, you can reverse it. I know you can. Everything's gonna be all right. You can hold it back. I'm right here for you. Can you-" Anna yelped as she felt herself flung across the room…into a pile of soft powdery snow. What on earth, Elsa? What are you doing?
"Maybe I don't want to reverse it! And don't tell me to 'hold it back'! You sound just like Papa!" Elsa shouted. " 'Conceal it, Elsa. Don't feel it. Don't let it show. Hold it in, Elsa. You can do it!' I hate that!" Tears trickled down her cheeks as she limped over to Anna. "You don't think I'm good enough, either." She sensed rather than saw Kristoff marching over to them and instantly froze him in place. "You l-left me all a-alone in that cave. I trusted you!" Elsa held out her right hand towards Anna, glowing and pulsing with icy blue magic. Elsa, stop it! That wasn't Anna's fault! Don't hurt her!
Anna just stared, stunned speechless for a minute before recovering herself. I got to calm Elsa down. She's not just angry, she's…hurting. "Elsa, I'm not going to hurt you to keep from, uh, doing whatever it is you're doing with that magic," she said softly.
Elsa didn't move.
"I love you," Anna went on, reaching for Elsa's free hand.
Elsa jerked her hand away, but she still didn't move otherwise. She glanced from the magic in her hand to Anna to the magic again and bit her lip. I know what I can do. Elsa took one more step towards Anna; then hesitated again and turned her back on Anna, still holding out her hand, her body tense all over as she fought the nasty instinct inside her. You don't want to do that, Elsa. What for? You haven't done anything wrong. You should use your power to do whatever you want.
No, I love Anna. I don't want to hurt anyone. So there. I'm doing it. If I knock myself out, I won't hurt anyone else, either.
Anna frowned when she realized just what Elsa was doing. She's going to try to use that on herself instead! Sure enough, before Anna could protest, Elsa forcefully slammed her hand to her head and almost instantly collapsed. "Elsa! Elsa, what did you do?!" Anna screamed desperately, pulling Elsa into her arms. She tried to tug Elsa's hand away from her head, but the older girl wouldn't budge. Anna continued yanking on Elsa's hand, terrified of what Elsa might have done to herself. How could Elsa have used her magic on herself anyway? That didn't make any sense. "Elsa…" Anna saw a clear grimace of pain on her sister's face just before she went limp all over, her hand finally dropping from her head. "You're…you're smiling now," Anna whispered.
It was true. Elsa had her usual lopsided smile on her face now, although she was clearly unconscious. Anna was mostly just relieved her big sister was still breathing, although her head was bleeding badly where she'd channeled that magic into herself like that. "Elsa, why did you do that? There had to have been another way," Anna muttered.
Kristoff finally managed to break himself free of Elsa's ice just as Gerda came running in. "She was about to…hurt Anna with her magic and then chose to use it on herself instead," he told Gerda.
"Gerda, fix Elsa. Please! She…she was so upset. She was acting all mad, but she was stuttering and crying…" Anna's voice trailed off.
Gerda frowned as she gently touched Elsa's head. "I think we need to get Dr. Raske to look at that. What exactly did Miss Elsa do?"
"Shoved a bunch of strong magic into her head where it didn't want to go," Kristoff said matter-of-factly. "I saw it. Elsa's magic was fighting her because her body is mostly immune to it. She overrode that and did it anyway. It would be like you forcing yourself to knock yourself out with a steel bar or something, except a lot worse. Elsa must have a tremendous amount of willpower." He had been angry with Elsa for being about to hurt Anna, but after seeing what she had ultimately done, he was just impressed. Nobody had made her not hurt Anna, she had shoved 'Dark Elsa' aside long enough to protect Anna and eliminate the danger to everyone else, too. "We should take her to the trolls…"
Gerda had already run out of the room to get the doctor, leaving Kristoff and Anna alone with an unconscious Elsa. "Kristoff, why was Elsa able to fight the serum and I couldn't fight Jade's fire magic?" Anna asked sadly.
"Because it's some lousy chemical thing, not magic, that's all. You said you were able to fight that fire magic for awhile, too. It's only been a few hours since Elsa got that serum in her. She may not have been able to do what she just did, say, tomorrow. Also…how do I put this…from hearing Dark Elsa talk, it was mostly just an angry little kid talking." Kristoff sighed, not sure how to explain what he was thinking. "It was not what I imagined a dark anyone to be from that serum stuff. At all. From the way those crazy idiots were talking, it sounded like it turned people into your stereotypical mwahahaha sort of villains."
"She wanted to be 'powerful' so nobody could say she wasn't good enough ever again. So nobody could hurt her," Anna whispered. She smiled ruefully as she added, "I'm glad Elsa didn't turn into a stereotypical 'mwahahaha villain', as you put it, but it makes me sad that an angry, so-called 'evil' version of Elsa was just…what we saw. That Elsa was dangerous, but she wasn't 'evil'. She was like an angry, hurting little kid, just like you said. What if real-Elsa feels like that?"
"Anna, I'm going to go talk to Grand Pabbie," Kristoff said a few minutes later. "He can tell us what exactly Elsa did to herself. She probably did something similar as when she froze your head when you guys were little."
Anna frowned and glanced at Elsa, who really just looked like she was sleeping now. She hadn't stirred at all when Dr. Raske took care of her head or when Gerda tucked her into bed. "Then don't the trolls need to heal her head?" Anna asked. "And Elsa didn't give me any visible boo-boo of any kind when she did that. I know she didn't."
"Yeah, they would, except that Elsa's magic won't accept his. So Grand Pabbie can't heal her. And like I said before, her magic didn't want her to do that. She forced it under her skin-it didn't just go naturally like if she did that to someone else," Kristoff explained, a hundred percent sure he was right. "That's why it tore up her head like that." Kristoff wasn't a magic expert, but he knew quite a bit about the trolls' magic and general magic rules. A natural mage was ordinarily always immune to his or her own magic, case closed. Forcing it, like Elsa had done, just wasn't possible without a huge amount of control and willpower.
"But…but how's Elsa going to get better if the trolls can't heal her? She won't…die, will she?" Anna gave Elsa's hand a squeeze, but of course she didn't react.
Kristoff bit his lip, unsure what to say. He didn't think Elsa's life was in danger-there had to be a way to help her-but he didn't know how to do that, either. "I don't know how we can help her, Anna. That's why I'm going to go to the valley," he said finally.
Anna said nothing, but her blue-green eyes filled with tears. Once Kristoff was gone, Gerda just touched her shoulder gently. "I can sit with Miss Elsa, princess. Why don't you try to get some sleep?" Gerda suggested.
"She did this to herself to keep from hurting me," Anna whispered. "Whatever angry part of her said I didn't think she was good enough, either, 'just like Papa'. Then that I left her all alone in that cave and that she trusted me…" I knew that incident was still bothering her.
"Miss Anna, she was just scared. I think we all know the poor girl already thinks she's 'not good enough' and is scared of everyone else thinking the same thing. Since she was under the influence of that drug thing, she lashed out instead of getting all upset or panicking or something, that's all," Gerda said gently. "It's not your fault."
"I told Elsa she could 'hold it back', Gerda. I just meant in the sense she could control her magic even with the serum thing, but I think that's not what Elsa took it as," Anna said, still holding her sister's hand. That's exactly what it is. I triggered her because Dad told her that kind of thing in another context.
Gerda shook her head. "That may have been a bad choice of words, but it still isn't your fault any more than it is hers. That credit goes to your father, and you know it. Miss Elsa will understand what you meant once she's herself again. I know she will."
"What if she doesn't wake up?"
"What sort of nonsense is that? Of course she will," Gerda said firmly. "If I had to guess-and I could be wrong-she'll wake up once her magic calms down completely. I have no idea if that would be before or after that drug mess works its way out of her system, but I really think she will be perfectly fine." She gave the princess a reassuring smile as she added, "Go to sleep, Miss Anna. I'll wake you if there's any change, I promise."
SEVERAL HOURS LATER…
"Grand Pabbie said it sounded like Elsa had pretty much given herself the magically derived equivalent of a bad concussion," Kristoff told Gerda quietly. "I'm surprised you got Anna to go to sleep," he added in surprise. Anna was indeed fast asleep, one arm wrapped protectively around her unconscious sibling.
"And? What do we do for her?" Gerda asked.
"Well, he said she ought to wake up by morning, and that she might be confused and stuff. Basically we're just supposed to treat Elsa the same way we would if she had gotten a concussion. He thinks her body may have somehow been allergic to whatever chemical serum those people got into her and that partly made her stay unconscious for so long. Also he said she must be getting closer to being an ice master too. And that there were 'several ventures Queen Elsa must tend to' once she's better. Pabbie also said she may not remember what happened, either." Kristoff shrugged. "That could be good. If she doesn't remember it can't hurt her."
Gerda shushed him, knowing full well that Elsa might very well be able to hear him even if she couldn't respond yet. "Thank you. You go to bed as well now. Thank you for being willing to help her."
Elsa finally stirred around dawn, a very tired Gerda still watching her. She immediately began turning her head from side to side, her half-lidded eyes slightly panicked. What had been going on? Had she done something bad? Why did her head hurt so much? Something was pinning her arms down, keeping her from moving, and she struggled to get free, not realizing that Anna was just half holding her. "What…why…stuck! I…I want-" Elsa finally managed to get one arm free, and she touched her bandage in confusion. So I did hurt myself. What happened? Why can't I remember?
"Miss Elsa, it's all right. Calm down," Gerda said reassuringly. "You hurt your head and Anna was holding you because you were upset," she explained slowly.
"Head…hurts," Elsa agreed. Her blue eyes drifted shut again, and she didn't try to free her other arm anymore. If Anna was there, Anna would take care of her, and so would Gerda. Maybe she had fallen or something and hit her head? I must have done something wrong, she thought absently. I always do. What was it? Elsa suddenly looked up at Gerda again, tears filling her eyes. "Was…w-was I bad?" she asked hesitantly. She thought she remembered something from the night before…had she hurt someone? She couldn't remember.
"No, you were not bad," Gerda told her firmly. "Just try to rest some more, Miss Elsa. Your sister is right next to you, and I'm right here."
The last thing Elsa remembered clearly was Anna telling her she was going to the bookstore with Kristoff for something. Elsa's expression scrunched up in confusion as she tried to organize her jumbled memories from the evening before. I don't even know if that was yesterday. What if, like, a week passed and I didn't even know? She had gone to the yucky dungeon to get some information from Hans because…why? Why would she have done that? Anna said he told her something, right? I can't remember! Why can't I remember? I think I tried to get Anna away from bad people, maybe. What happened? "I…I can't r-remember anything," Elsa mumbled.
Gerda took a deep breath, refusing to let herself panic or grow worried for nothing. She's fine. She has to be. "Can you tell me my name?" she asked.
Elsa was puzzled by this question; what would Gerda want her to answer that question for? Of course she knew Gerda's name. Maybe Gerda thinks something's wrong with me 'cause I hurt my head? "Gerda. Anna 'side…me." She pointed at herself and added, "Elsa."
Good, at least Elsa can answer a simple question easily enough. "How about the last thing you remember clearly?" Gerda asked.
"An…Anna s..said she was going t' book…place with Kristoff. Yesterday?" Elsa asked hopefully. She really, really wanted just a few hours to be missing and not anything longer than that. And… "Why can't I…t-talk right?"
Thank goodness. Elsa's just missing a few hours, more or less. Good. "Because your head has to heal, Miss Elsa," Gerda said gently. "Give yourself a chance."
"Yesterday?" Elsa asked again.
Gerda quickly nodded, realizing she hadn't answered Elsa's question. "Yes, Anna went to the bookstore with Kristoff yesterday."
"Is Papa here?" Elsa suddenly seemed tense, her tired blue eyes worried.
Gerda frowned. "No. Your father is in Weselton," she said simply, unsure what to say to that. Elsa should know her father wasn't in Arendelle. That was old news for her.
Elsa instantly relaxed and closed her eyes. "Good…Papa not…not want me. Never…never good enough," she whispered. I did something wrong last night. I know I did. I got mad at Anna? Is that what happened? "Was I…bad?" Elsa asked again. "Something…wrong. I…I d-don't understand. No memory…" And my head hurts so bad. What did I do?
"You were not bad, Miss Elsa," Gerda repeated firmly. What do I tell her? Gerda wasn't sure what information to give Elsa at the moment. Whatever she said about what had happened the night before was sure to just stress Elsa out, and Gerda wanted Elsa to just rest. "Are you thirsty?" she asked finally.
Elsa nodded and then winced and put her hand to her head again. What on earth did I do to myself this time? And is…is Anna okay? What if I hurt her? I know I did something wrong, I just can't remember what. She felt something move beside her and tensed up all over before realizing it was just Anna. Elsa slowly blinked up at her little sister and then grew tense all over again. Anna had bruises on her face. Therefore she must have hurt Anna. What had she done? "An…Anna, I…I'm sorry. Gerda, Anna…Anna's hurt! What…what…I do?"
Anna had first been delighted that Elsa was awake again, but then she frowned. Elsa…sounds funny. She knows she didn't hurt me. Her dark self knew that. What did she do to herself? "Gerda, what's wrong with Elsa?" she asked concernedly. "Why is she talking like that? She knows she didn't hurt me! She rescued me!"
"There is nothing wrong with Miss Elsa," Gerda said firmly in a tone that said there was no room for argument. "She hurt her head and she's having trouble remembering anything from yesterday evening on," she added pointedly. Anna, don't ask anything else. Please. "I'll be right back. Miss Anna, make sure your sister doesn't try to sit up or anything by herself. You help her if she wants to do anything."
Anna nodded and bit her lip. She understood that Gerda didn't want to risk getting Elsa all stirred up about something, but she wasn't sure what to say to Elsa, either.
"I…I rescue…rescued you?" Elsa asked hopefully. "Not…not hurt you?" She tried to sit up and immediately felt queasy. "Anna…I feel…s-sick. Help, please?" Anna immediately hopped up and ran to the bathroom. What is wrong with me? I've gotten knocked out before and I didn't feel like this. And what happened? Anna said I rescued her. Did I get hurt doing that, maybe? Trying to think was making her head hurt all the more, and she sighed. Anna, bring that bucket or whatever over here now. I feel like I'm going to throw up.
"Sorry, Elsa, I couldn't find it right away but I hurried!" Anna ran back and plopped down beside her sister. She couldn't think of anything helpful to say, so she just gently held Elsa's hair back and rubbed her shoulder. "Better now?" Anna asked a minute later.
Elsa nodded, grateful for Anna supporting her even though she felt embarrassed by Anna seeing her like that. She didn't feel sick anymore, but her head was spinning and she thought she might fall if she tried to sit or stand on her own. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Anna just gave Elsa a reassuring hug. "Don't be sorry. Everyone barfs sometimes. Even my dignified big sister," she teased, trying to make Elsa smile. Elsa didn't; she just sat there and carefully clasped her hands together in her lap. Elsa, please be ok. Don't cry. "Do you think you can walk to the bathroom if I help you?" Anna asked. "Then you can rinse your face. Trust me, it makes you feel loads better."
"I'll…I'll try." Elsa did feel a bit better now; her head was still pounding, but she felt more alert and at least she no longer felt sick! "Thank y-you, Anna," she added quietly. I know I did something bad last night, but at least Anna is okay.
"Kristoff, I think there's something really wrong with Elsa," Anna insisted a couple hours later. "She can't even talk very well, and she was trying really hard. I could tell. And she, you know, got sick from just trying to sit up. Elsa needs help! I want to take her to see Grand Pabbie. Even if he can't heal her, maybe he can help somehow if he can actually see her." Anna was outside in the courtyard now, and she looked up at Elsa's bedroom window worriedly.
"Elsa hurt her head pretty bad, Anna. You said she just woke up a couple hours ago. Give her a chance. I still have a headache myself and I didn't have magic forced into my head like Elsa did." Kristoff paused to think before continuing. "You know, she might be able to fix her head herself since it was her own magic that did it in the first place."
"But Elsa doesn't have healing powers," Anna pointed out, frowning. I wish she did. Elsa sent Rapunzel home to Corona, but even if she hadn't, Rapunzel wouldn't be able to help her anyway since it was from magic…
"No, but she hurt herself with her own magic. She should be able to reverse stuff her own powers do. I mean, Elsa probably can't completely heal herself, but I bet she could at least get rid of the ice magic itself so the rest of her can heal too," Kristoff explained.
Anna grinned, happy that there might be a solution to help her sister, but then she made a face. "Kristoff…what if Elsa manages to get rid of the ice and she's still the same? It takes ages for things like that to heal. I know it does. And Rapunzel won't be able to help her, either…"
"Then you'll have to help her until she's better."
"Elsa did this to herself to keep from hurting me," Anna said softly. "She can't remember any of what happened last night, but she kept asking if she was bad. I think Elsa must have asked me that half a dozen times before I came down here. She's scared."
"Wouldn't you be scared too if your head hurt like the dickens and you couldn't remember stuff? Anna, Elsa will be fine. You ought to be with her right now instead of talking to me, you know, and-"
"I…I don't want to sit with Elsa right now," Anna interrupted, her blue-green eyes filled with tears. "I'm scared I'll say something wrong a-and hurt her. It's horrible seeing her like that. Worse than if she hurt her arm or something else. Just…anything but her head. I want t-to make Elsa all better now! Why does she keep ending up hurt? It's not fair!"
Kristoff just awkwardly hugged Anna and said nothing for a moment. "Because she does stupid things to keep other people safe, that's why. She needs you, not anyone else. Maybe convince her to let you help her with her queen stuff in general. If it'll make you feel better, I'll take you two over to the troll valley whenever you want. Sound good?"
Anna nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek before running back inside.
"Kristoff is correct, Queen Elsa," Grand Pabbie said several hours later. "You can heal yourself, although…" The old troll paused before reaching to touch Elsa's head. "May I?" Pabbie asked, knowing Elsa still didn't feel comfortable around him and that her magic would probably react anyway.
Elsa just gave the troll a thumbs up instead of saying 'yes' or nodding her head. She had already decided she was not trying to talk anymore; it was embarrassing and she hated it. And moving her head made it hurt more. Elsa still flinched when Grand Pabbie touched her, but she didn't react otherwise, and her magic didn't do anything either, although she could feel it stirring about under her skin. Grand Pabbie isn't actually trying to use his magic on me. I can feel it. She held Anna's hand tightly, happy that she had Anna supporting her so she wouldn't fall.
"It is easier to sense your magic this way, but I cannot actually do anything for you," Pabbie explained. "It is as I thought. You did to yourself what you did to your sister when you were little, but your magic is stronger now, so, for lack of a better term, it was more violent about it."
"Why isn't she unconscious then?" Anna asked curiously.
"Because it is her magic. I am surprised she was able to force it to injure her at all. Natural mages are usually immune to their own magic, no argument about it. This is why her magic put up a fight in the first place." Pabbie turned his attention back to Elsa and added, "Queen Elsa, you should be able to heal yourself fairly easily. You put ice in your head-you can thaw it. That is like healing it from the inside out. It will not get better at all until you do so, either. Your magic cannot flow through you properly with ice where it is not supposed to be."
Elsa felt a bit confused even though she understood what she was supposed to do.
"Will that heal Elsa's head completely then?" Anna smiled hopefully. "She'll be all better?"
Grand Pabbie sighed. "No, princess. She tore herself up putting it in, and it will do the same to pull it out. The internal injury should be healed completely, however. I stress, Queen Elsa was not supposed to be able to do that in the first place."
Elsa ignored the conversation around her, finally understanding what was going to happen. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before putting her free hand to her head. Okay, Elsa, you can do this. Just…stay calm. Don't do anything stupid… Elsa yelped when she felt the same awful pain she suddenly recalled from the night before, although she still couldn't remember why she had done it in the first place. Why would I have hurt my own head? That's silly. I don't understand…maybe Anna will tell me… She finally just collapsed in Anna's arms, not sure if she had succeeded or not. Something warm wrapped around her…she could feel herself shaking, but she knew she hadn't panicked. What happened? "An…Anna?"
"It's all right, Elsa, you did it," Anna said quickly. Elsa blinked up at her in confusion, and she gave Elsa a reassuring smile. "How do you feel?"
"Weird," Elsa deadpanned. She managed to smile back at Anna and sighed. I do feel somewhat better though? My head still hurts, but not nearly as bad. And…and I did rescue Anna. Something made me act all weird after that, I think. Elsa still couldn't remember clear details from the night before, but she did recall the general events now. Bad people had taken Anna and Kristoff; Elsa had gotten them back; and something had made her…not herself after that. "This mossy…thing s-smells nice," she added. I can talk properly again. Good. Anna and Gerda did not help me with my stutter last year just to for me to hurt my head again. Elsa thought she might still have a bit of trouble talking sans stutter right this minute, but at least she could get her words out without struggling, anyways.
Elsa winced when she felt Anna gently press a new bandage to her head, but she said nothing about it. It still wasn't anywhere near as bad as it had been just a few minutes ago; it mostly just stung now instead of feeling like a thousand hammers in her whole head. "Thank y-you, Anna," she said quietly.
"You're bleeding again," Anna scolded, although she knew it wasn't Elsa's fault. "Grand Pabbie, how long is that going to take to heal completely?" she asked.
"Much faster than it would if it was caused by ordinary non-magical means," the old troll told her. "A week at most."
"My stutter too?" Elsa asked hopefully.
Pabbie looked at her fondly and patted her shoulder. "That is just your muddled memories from last night settling where they should. It should be gone very shortly. Do not worry if you still cannot remember all the details, however," he told her.
"Elsa, even if it didn't disappear, don't worry about it," Kristoff put in. "It doesn't matter, really. You hate giving speeches anyway and you could let Anna do that sort of thing if you didn't want to do it, you know."
Elsa giggled at that. She did hate giving speeches anyway. And Anna could help. "Come on, let's go home. Thank y-you, Grand Pabbie."
"Queen Elsa, wait. There is another thing. You must rest a bit, but after you have, you will have an important issue to resolve," Grand Pabbie said.
"Could you…please d-dispense with the cryptic lines?" Elsa asked with a sigh. Just tell me straight out. That is so frustrating…
"I sense you will have a large decision to make to protect Arendelle's borders, much like your ancestor Ingrid did. Your dark side has done something you would not ordinarily do, Elsa. You must control it." The old troll looked straight at Elsa as he went on, "Fear is your enemy, as you already know. This time it is not merely what you assume."
Elsa's already pale face turned white. "You mean…it is others' f-fear this…time?" she asked hesitantly. "Instead of m-my own?"
"No, Queen Elsa. It is both."
A/N: *cue dramatic music*:P
Next chapter coming soon!:)
P.S. I know I owe several people a PM, email, review, or all three. You guys all know who you are. I promise I'll get back to you as soon as I can:)