Dear Guest (Because sadly you do not have a username);
Your review has to be the most insightful review that I have ever had the honour of being graced with. The fact that you pay attention between the fine details and understand that their is a boundary that cannot be cross is simply invigorating. Nothing like half assed people nowadays (of course not my readers I'm talking about real life people). Your review made me look at my story in a new light. I want to make this fanfiction after reading the majority of fanfictions out there. Now it always comes down to this; I read a fanfiction and I say, 'Okay, I like it,' then suddenly it takes a new light, adding characters that don't make a difference and are completely useless or they just seem to not grasp the Canon characters anymore. I'm not saying that I've perfectly portrayed characters but I do feel more confident in writing Levi simply because of the similarities we hold although in a daily basis I'm being forced to act nice, he just has the freedom I don't have. I guess that's what really drove me to write this; misinterpretation. After this fanfiction I'll most likely go read some more fanfiction on another character, this character is probably going to be misinterpreted and the oc that's practically being shoved with them won't fit who they are and will drive me into writing one for them. It's always been this way and I'm glad you picked that up. You don't suck.
Prepare to hate me for the second time.
This chapter is in Levi's POV.
Never returning was something that they both held close to their hearts. Yes, that's right...no return. A boundary cannot be crossed, especially if it is the boundary of their past; cold as ice and encased in titanium. Maybe it was the fact that he could never openly express love, or the fact that the mere touch of someone was enough to make him recoil and sneer in disgust-why must it always be touch? Maybe; or just maybe, it was all her fault. Little old Alais who didn't stop torturing him.
Something didn't feel right. The sun was still bright in the sky but it was too calm, the calmness couldn't settle right with me no matter how much I tried. Even breaths were all that I could hear but they were louder than normal, I realized that they were my breaths, me breathing stronger than needed. It might have been the shadows of the trees-the darkness that reminded me of haunting dreams and past faults.
Maybe nothing will happen? The possibility of a peaceful expedition was laughable, unheard of.
I decided to only watch my surroundings cautiously burning away any thoughts that would have been a hindrance to the expedition. Erwin's formation burned itself into my mind as I tried to remember exactly where I would be right now, would I be in the middle, off to the side or no where in sight?
But I knew where Alais was. I knew what she was, bait. I could visualize her face, accepting just as a lamb. She'd argue with her horse, calling it stupid and a fool but that was normal since she had never been good with animals, she hated them and they hated her. The horse wouldn't listen to Alais and I knew what she'd do next, she'd kick the horse, anger it and it'll anger her in the worst way possible, it'll throw her off her horse and leave her to fend for herself. A titan would come, a titan would attack and for some reason my thoughts imagined her on flat land, she couldn't escape as it-
"Corporal?"
"What is it?!" I snapped realizing the look that Eren gave me. Confused, just like a puppy.
"You were spacing out," Eren bit back with a flinch turning to look at Petra with another look, something that I didn't want to connect to anything.
"Were you worried about Alais, Corporal?" I could hear the caution underlining Petra's words yet she didn't take them back. It feels like Alais isn't here anymore, as if she never was.
I guess I could blame the distance, blame it all on the past that I held with her because my weak child mind let her into my world. She let me into hers but it was different, I was an open book and she was the closed one that no one wanted to open. What was my answer? I could have thought of the answer for years, a petty excuse-a lie or the horrible truth. No, I'm not worried, she can take care of herself. I feel ill is all. Ill to the bone because I keep seeing a mangled body where ever I look. I wondered if it would be quieter when Alais wasn't there long ago but now I just can't seem to find that peace.
"Ne-" Something wasn't right. The clouds in the sky, as thin as they had been were clearing out now and an object floated freely in the sky. I would have thought it was a bird if I didn't see the absence of flapping wings.
'Did you see my airplane float in the sky?' She giggled childishly in my ear, 'I bet you it'll reach you one day.'
A lick of awe was hidden from the world as the damned memories-no thoughts found its way into my mind in a hidden haze. What was I thinking? What was I letting myself think? Involuntarily-I think-my eyes narrowed on their own as my breathing continued on, no point in killing my lungs by holding my breath anyway. In that exact moment something strange happened, almost as if the wind allowed itself to stop and wait silently for something to happen-anything.
It allowed the object to embrace the ground.
The wind dropped. It stopped blowing across the land and that small airplane came crashing down faster than I ever thought something could, almost as fast as Alais on her nimble feet. A flash of a white flag fell with the object as its front came face first with the ground. The horse I was on kicked its front legs up in shock as it neighed in fear. I placed my hand on the side of his neck and he instantly calmed down, a trick I had learned from experience.
I didn't dare get off my horse when my squad gave a series of startled sounds of shock. I don't think I even dared to breathe when my eyes grew blank at the sight of splattered vibrant blood, fresh and still dripping on that lifeless white flag.
Something was choking me, suffocating me. For some reason, I knew that this wouldn't be the end. No wonder something wasn't right, Alais' words had jumbled themselves in my mind and I should have realized every single connection to a life long ago.
I couldn't call out her name anymore. Never hear that response that lit up every doubt I had about my fathers love for me because she replaced him. She took his place and never left it unlike he did.
"C-Corporal? What was that?" Petra stuttered with wide eyes. I didn't react, not one flinch, not one twitch of the eye, and no recoil. Only a single stare thrown towards the ugly object on the floor, crushed and mended with forested material.
I was lost to her words when I was drawn into a vision. A child, young with glimmering night black hair and dulled grey eyes stared up at me as we stood on a hill, a small headstone placed on the ground. The place of a mother, a lonely soul and a lost cause it would read. That unknown child would curl up into my side and I wouldn't hold him. My hand would be placed on his head and my fist would clench mouthing words with meaningless boundaries, 'This was your mother.'
Just like she, he'd just nod, no tear, no cry for his mother because he knew.
He knew since the moment he was born.
"Life is just too cruel."
He called her words, her actions, and her thoughts torture but he had yet to realize the true pain he brought on the one person who could have loved him like no one else. It's true that Alais blindly told him she loved him although she didn't know what love was but she saw nothing wrong. Alais had a theory, since both her and Levi didn't know what love was, why couldn't they teach each other? Alais loved learning off of Levi, even if she didn't know why, she loved the idea of it alone-The idea that she didn't know and she would never made her feel warm inside.
Ouch. We are going to be brought to where Alais is in the next chapter and then this chapter will make complete sense. After all, what kind of author would I be if I rushed this? I love dragging out the pain for you sorry readers.
Cheers.