Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers; I do own Andrew (he's mine!), Scout Rin, Daniel Cade, Rhine, Zayla, Jaden, the Glaph, Damek, Gael, Hertia's Mall, Kaen Slan, Eara, Mallory C., KRA, the plot, the feelings and everything else you don't recognize!

A/N: Precisely a month since the last chapter. I had to take a break from all the pressure and now I think I'm about to compensate you all. I give it another 5 chapters, let's hope it WILL be this way. Sorry for the long wait though.

Quest into Space III: Serenity
by DarkHonda aka Tal

Chapter 36
aka
Homecoming, part 2

I ducked, my front rubbing the ground as I evaded that metal dragon that was my opponent for this battle. It was up to me to take him down, it was up to me, a single ranger, to protect KO-62. The vapor of his shimmering purple laser beam, the one that was tested on me by Deviot not so long ago, burnt my back, luckily, I had my suit. I rolled on my back and took out my sword, my last defense was offense, I jumped on my feet. I could feel the sweat covering my entire body, you'd think the suit protected you from anything, apparently it did protect you from anything… anything but purple laser beams. I could just curse my luck at that very second, but I didn't have the time for it, with Gael and Mallory fighting a similar ice dragon at KO-34 and Damek and Eara fighting an earthquake one on KO-51, I couldn't let myself lose concentration. I had to beat this monster, there was a whole planet, a whole system on my shoulders, I could feel its weight. The weight of this responsibility.

I started running towards the dragon, attacking mercilessly, not thinking of myself in the slightest bit, all I needed at that moment was to win this guy, to make him remove the threat from my planet, my system. He blocked my attack and turned around, his spiked dragon tail coming my way with full speed. It sent me flying about a mile away, the suit lost its last stand against those spikes and disappeared. I fell on the ground with a loud thud, I tried to morph again, my fingers finding blindly the figures on the little device, yet it failed. Morphing wasn't an option, and I knew I must stall the beast until the morpher recharges and allows morphing again.

I got up on my feet, dust and sand sticking to my body because of my heavy sweat. I spat a mouthful of dirt and scanned my area, that dragon thing was still there. I ran to his direction, I had to tired him or at least take his mind out of hurting anyone else but me. I knew that if he went for civilians, I was finished- my whole purpose was protecting lives and preventing destruction. Again, as in many situations in life, it was all up to me, I concentrated for a moment, trying to reach the Power within me and ran to the monster's direction, pressing the buttons of my morpher.

But for one sole moment, as everything went by me in slow motion, for that flick of a second when my body was wrapped in the red colored suit once more, I thought about dad. On how I could finally relate to him. But as soon as it happened I fell to the ground, the dragon has disappeared. I cursed.

"Shenar." The Kaen released us, we were standing with our heads bowed down in respect at the high command room. We weren't informed why they called upon us; I was reading the third and last part of the trilogy books I got for Christmas (from Mallory), while she was reading the first, her head laying on my stomach as we rested in the lawn in front of my flat. Gael was the one to call us, running toward us, armed with a broken left arm.

"I must compliment on the perfect way you worked together today, my students," started the Kaen, "you have proven yourself far and beyond I have ever thought you would be needed." He paused and I frowned, looking at him straight in the eye. For the first time I could feel anxiety and some kind of fear in him. I gulped. His fear was like a string made of white silk, gentle, fluttering all around like a flock of butterflies. It worries me. His worry was deep, so deep that I knew something went wrong, that we did something wrong.

"Kaen Slan," I allowed myself use his name as I bowed my head again, he touched the back of my head.

"Shenar, red ranger." He allowed me to speak.

"What have we missed today, that is crucial?" I asked directly and I saw Kaen Glaph clenching his jaw.

"It was all a distraction!" the Glaph snapped all of a sudden. "Today, just as you returned from battle we received a reading from the furthest Karovan planet, KO-101, apparently while you were fighting, Deviot and another dragon attacked the planet." He said and I flinched. The man was on the verge of tears, he was disappointed and frustrated from his inability to predict Deviot moves. I sighed.

"What he took?" Gael asked curiously, then quickly added, "Sir."

"We don't know yet." The Glaph answered unpleasantly, "they are still counting the casualties and as we speak they create a damage report for us." He said, clenching his jaw. His expression softened after that and he sighed tiredly. "We have never guessed Deviot would break the usual attacking form, we were unprepared and unfortunately, we do not know yet how much it cost us." He said and the Kaen nodded, I opened my mouth to ask something but the Kaen raised his hand.

"For now, you must rest and collect your strengths, I daresay that whatever has been taken would be used soon enough." He paused, "This time, I suspect, Deviot would not split his monsters for wanting to strike all of you at once. Gather your strengths my students for our war has just stepped up." He said and I clenched my jaw. This meant the next confrontations would be harder, monsters harder to beat, longer time to heal from injuries. I gulped and nodded at them before following my friends out of the room. None of us spoke as we made our way to our rec room, each had to deal with the news within himself too.

"So, anyone up to a game of Frisbee?" Gael asked, we all nodded in acceptance.

That night I understood what it meant to 'gather strength'; morning trainings were cancelled until further notice, instead classes we had mid-day practices, the dinning room was open for us 24/7, I think Gael was the one enjoying it most. We were permitted to travel around, yet it was prohibited to close our morphers. We didn't know how much time it would take Deviot to devise a new evil plan and we were waiting for it to come. Mallory were spending much more time together, reading or talking, mostly; I suspect Damek and Eara were doing the same, we were all tensed and nervous as we were waiting to the attack the unknown was killing us. Gael, on the other hand, was spending his time at the Mecha labs, not in studying, but inventing. The talented boy was helping Meca scientist to built more sophisticated weapons and you could only spot him when he was on his way to or from the dinning room and in obligatory practices.

A week we were spending this way and I felt my nerves pop one by one, I knew I'd turn into a complete mess if I don't do anything so I did the only thing that made me feel better, besides being with Mallory, was training, mostly at night when Mallory was sleeping soundly in my -or her- bed, I snuck outside, to the chill night air and practiced. The silence has done me good and sometimes I was tempted to wrap a piece of black cloth around my eyes, I admit that something in me longed for the serenity I had possessed when I was blind. There was something so pure with the acknowledgement of losing everything you wanted…

It was on the seventh day from that battle that I returned to my apartment in the dead of the night. Mallory wasn't there, it was one of these rare days she wanted to be alone, I guess sometimes she needed her space too, when the phone near my bed rang. Wiping my sweating face and neck with a towel, I answered it.

"Drew Zhane here."

"Andrew?" it was mum's voice, I exhaled slowly. Maybe a little relieved, I'm not really sure.

"Hi, mum, how are you?"

"I'm fine, baby, how are you?" she asked.

"Good, I'm good, mum." I said nodding, as if she could see me. "Any special reason for calling me?" I dared asking.

"Andrew!" She called a little insulted, I think, I felt my cheeks heat up.

"I'm sorry, I just came back from practicing and I need a shower, I stink." I explained and she laughed.

"Maybe I should call later?" she suggested and I smiled.

"No it's fine, go ahead, anything happened?" I inquired. "How is Zayla? Tell her she promised visiting me!" Mum laughed.

"She's busy in her new work at the moment, joining SPD Police force on Earth." Mum said and I smiled.

"I hope she's alright there," I said and I could almost hear mum's smile. Maybe she was relieved SPD wasn't my ambition anymore, I don't know. I shook my head, remembering mum probably called me for an entirely different reason. "You called, mum." I reminded her.

"Yes, I want you to come visit again. Scout, Daniel and your father want to see you, and each of them is driving me crazy!" she announced and I laughed. It felt good to laugh like that, it eased my already broken nerves from waiting. But I was rational too, and I knew I couldn't spend time with my brothers and give them the attention they want, the attention they need, without confronting dad first.

"Are they going to their preschools tomorrow?" I asked her.

"Your brothers- yes, your father- unfortunately- no." she said and I smiled.

"Good, I'll stop by tomorrow morning after my brothers go to their schools. I… there's some things we need to make clear before they can see me, I don't want to hurt them all over again." I said and there was silence from the other side of the phone. "Mum?" I asked.

"I understand, Andrew, I love you." She half whispered.

"I know, I love you too, mum, good night."

"Sleep tight." She whispered and I closed the phone. I let myself fall on the bed before doing anything else, I sighed. Tomorrow is going to be the happiest or the saddest day in my life, I just hoped, as doubts began to pierce me through, that it was the first one.

Driving. KO-35 has never looked calmer and has never been under any more danger, well, sort of, after all it was attacked by Dark Spectre once or twice… I was super nervous now, I couldn't contain the pressure, so much that throughout breakfast I didn't have anything but a sip of an orange juice. Even Gael noticed and asked me why I was so nervous. I ignored and told them I'll see them later, went to get car keys from the Mecha and drove back to the house.
Doubts were something I learnt to live with, but they always had a new surprise to me, a new grip on my inter organs, a searing pain in my throat… this time, my insides were totally frozen, as if I was made of pure ice. I gulped once or twice but nothing seemed to ease that feeling, but at the end, I found myself in front of that wooden door yet again. It took practically all that I had to knock those three knocks on the door, and once mum opened the door with a smile, hope pierced me. Maybe I could do it again.

I entered the house, kissing mum's cheek before doing anything else. Then, rather bravely, if you ask me, I moved to the living room, not yet daring to enter it, where a certain Stripey dad was waiting for me. I scanned the living room nervously: a familiar jug was placed on the living room's table, of hot chocolate probably, as no one in the house ever drank coffee, while we drank tea only when sick. Also on the table were a few plates loaded with cookies, most chances hand made by mum; I couldn't touch any of those cookies or drink whatever was in that jug, I was so nervous and anxious that you could cut me into two and wouldn't have noticed or resisted.

Then, my eyes fell on him, I watched him sitting alone in the living room, staring at my photos on that shelf and I was paralyzed; there was so much I wanted to say and express, but at that very moment, seeing him made me freeze in place. It made all the words that were ready to be told, those who were in their way out of my mouth, turned into a lump of untold emotions and fears that was stuck in my throat. It choked me and unexplainably made my eyes burn with regret and guilt, tears threatened to overflow my eyes, threatened to break my hold on myself, but I didn't let them; I swallowed that lump, trying to push it back to my stomach, to force it stay inside of me, to let me reign my emotions, for this once.

Nearly without me noticing, mum stepped behind me and nudged me into the living room; I didn't expect it and found myself nearly tripping my way to the living room, making my father notice me, maybe in the first time in some very long and tiring months, actually, nearly a whole year. I inhaled deeply, trying to ease the tension in my body, my soul, watching as dad got up on his feet to greet me or hit me or hug me; I wasn't exactly sure which. I stepped backwards and he froze in his place, his eyes stuck on me and my eyes stuck on my shoes. I felt so guilty and embarrassed without having an actual reason, my head knew it wasn't my fault and my heart, well, it screamed I'm stupid, that everything is my fault, that I tore my own family apart without a good enough reason. This time I felt so ashamed to stand there, before my dad.

"Andrew, greet your father." Mum commanded me, but I couldn't. I wanted to, but really couldn't: my feet wouldn't move and my tongue was suddenly stuck to my palate, I swallowed again, not daring to move a muscle. And how could I, anyway? When remorse and self disgust were rising in me, making me sick to my stomach and still touching all of my unsettled emotions. I had to be the wrong one, I had to be the idiot son, how could I be righteous with such emotions flowing me from just seeing my dad? I closed my eyes for a moment; 'you're an idiot, the most screwed up son ever.' I blamed myself.

" Andros…" mum's voice drifted to dad, and as a response he took another step toward me; I haven't moved still. He took another step and then another, and only then I managed to back off a little, retreated shamefully. 'How do you dare standing here before him?' I asked myself, my face still on the floor, 'How do you dare coming back now, after you've ruined so much?' there was no mercy when I reminded myself again that this is my doing. Dad stopped and looked at mum, his helplessness was visible through his eyes but I could feel it, making me shake a little. My eyes were still glued to my shoes, I was there but not really, I felt so hallow, like I wasn't really there.

"Andrew Zhane Hammond!" mum said sharply, unable to hide the tremors in her voice. I winced as a response for my full name, which I haven't heard anyone using for a while now, and certainly not in that tone. She looked at me and when I peeked at her, I saw her glazed, tearful eyes, which threatened to make me cry as well. But I needed to be strong, to control my emotions like the man and the red ranger I am. "Greet you father." She repeated, and all I could do was stare at him helplessly, my breaths became shallow. His expression was unreadable but his, well, my guts flinched with his pain. 'Even in returning I'm making him hurt,' I thought sadly, 'is this how a son should be making his father feel?' I wondered and looked around, searching for something that would save me and distract me. Almost immediately, my eyes found that shelf with my photos, this little shrine of me and soon enough I was standing in front of it, not really sure if my legs carried me there or I just flew there somehow.

Eara, Damek and Mallory were standing, their hands on each other's shoulders; Gael, Zayla and myself were on our knees in front of them. We were all smiling happily and I so clearly remembered when that photo was taken, that I could almost smile. A few hours before Zayla's departure party, we wanted a photo and coincidentally, Zayla's friend, Alycia, was passing by and we asked her to take that photo. I could guess Gael or Mallory, maybe even both, sent this photo to Zayla and she gave it to my parents, trying to ease their pain. The pain I was feeling now, the one that burnt all of my insides. A few moments later, I dared to take the framed photo and trace their faces with my finger, caressing them as delicately as I could. They strengthen me, they reminded me that I should be making my weaknesses my strengths, that I can win this inner battle that was raging inside of me. I put the photo back to its place and turned around, taking a deep breath, looking at my parents who were now staring at me with embarrassment and confusion. I rubbed the back of my neck, carefully touching my tattoo, hoping it wasn't visible. I relaxed when I knew it wasn't, my hair nearly covered it all. Mum wasn't fond of tattoos and if she knew I had two of those, she'd probably beat the hell out of me, runaway or no runaway. I laughed mentally at the thought, which eased me a little bit more.

"Hi." I managed to say quietly, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans.

"Andrew." My dad whispered back and I looked at him more carefully, he hasn't changed much since the last time I saw him; only a little of the roots of his blond stripes began to turn white. It made me wonder how, he was still so young! How old was he anyway? About thirty eight? So how come he looks so tired and old all of a sudden? I couldn't find the answer but my heart flinched inside my chest, providing me with it, along with the guilt and responsibility. Sorrow and regret, made people older and I knew it had to be my fault; maybe, if I were more rational, less hasty and decisive, maybe it was different, maybe we were different…

"How…-How are you?" dad asked and I nodded.

"I'm fine. You?"

"I'm just happy you're here." He stuttered and I felt his sincerity, I bit my bottom lip, not wanting to burst and cry and beg him to forgive me. Not yet, anyway, because I knew I would beg for his forgiveness, what I did was ungrateful and inexcusable. I hurt my dad, my mum, my family for some stupid pride, for selfish needs. I spent years without a father or a functional mother and all of a sudden I become so picky, without being happy with what I've got. Instead of being grateful I was selfish and stupid, I led them to this hurricane of pain and worry, how could I be that stupid?

"A-A-Are you?" I asked, not really sure why, I knew he was telling the truth. Was it just to satisfy this idiotic need of mine to seem welcome? Why couldn't I realize that he doesn't have to like me at all? Why did I fail to realize it's okay for people not to like me, that I should be thankful I have someone to call a father to.

"I am." He said more confidently. "You can sit, you know." He said with a faint smile, I wasn't sure if he was happy or was his smile just meant to disguise his fear, because he was scared. Horrified would suit better. He was horrified, and I made him feel that way.

"I scare you." I've said and he didn't answer, his guilt answered. He was scared and just didn't want to admit it, but I could almost smile.

"You scare me too." I admitted quietly and sat myself on the two couch. Mum and dad sat on the three couch, but I was a little happy, a little excited that I wasn't the only one who was scared and worried about us.

"I- Ashley said you live at the Karovan Ranger Academy." He said, obviously changing the subject and trying to develop some casual conversation. I nodded.

"Yes, the Glaph gave me the Ranger Dome to live in, which was very lucky because when Zayla joined me, I had enough room to have her live with me." I said with a little smile and dad seemed a little confused.

"Don't the rangers live in the Ranger Dome?" he asked and I shook my head.

"No, they have their dorms, but w-they were given a special rec room for their private use only." I explained.

"Oh." He said and suddenly he was in broody mode again, sinking into his musing and an awkward silence spread between us. I looked at my parents, dad was being a little uncomfortable judging by the way his legs were fidgeting and mum…well, she was a little bored. At some point, dad stared at mum, his eyes silently asking 'what now?' helplessly and she cleared her throat.

"What are you doing at the Karovan Ranger Academy, exactly?" she asked and realizing what stood behind this conversation, I looked at them in a whole new light; the true meaning of this 'homecoming' was one big fake! It was pretence! We were sitting in there, talking about casual things, not really conversing about what really mattered! Not really trying to sort our feelings and solve out problems. 'What's the point?' I asked myself, 'I'm just wasting my time acting like an idiot, dealing with unnecessary small talk!'

"This is pointless." I said, rising from my seat, they rose as well when they've noticed I was about to leave, their faces confused. "What's the point in sitting here and pretending nothing happened?" I exclaimed, "I came here to deal with you, not to run away anymore!" I slammed my words into them. "Call me when you feel like being honest." I said and walked away, motioning to the door. Mum hurried and blocked my way, pushing me back to the living room.

"At least try to have a normal conversation with your father, Andrew," mum said, her voice trembling. I turned around to face my dad.

"I want you to know this is the most absurd thing I've ever done in my life," I said directly to him, sensing his fear of me. But honestly, I was done with lying about my feeling, if they want me as their son, what they see is what they're getting and if they don't, they just have to say it and I'll be gone. "I'm not going to let you delude yourself that everything's fine. Everything's not fine and I've finally realized there are things that need to be fixed. I'm through with lying to myself and believe it or not, to lie to you either. I'm not a kid anymore, I'm a man." I said and dad nodded, he understood me, I could feel hope and easiness washing me from the inside. It felt good.

"I know." He said quietly and I looked at mum who was frowning at me half confused and half surprised.

"Could you leave us?" I asked gently and for a moment, her eyes went wide, then she smiled at me, a single tear leaving her glazed eyes. She hugged me, I hugged her back and then, she left. I looked at my father and he looked back at me, I clenched my jaw, trying to sort out my words, not wanting to hurt too much.

"Look, for the last few years, ever since I met you… I just wanted you to be my dad, but you weren't. You were practically everyone's dad, just not mine and I needed you and you weren't there for me. Ever. It came to a point where it didn't matter if I knew you or not because I was alone no matter what." He nodded biting his bottom lip, I couldn't stop my own tears who glided from my eyes down my cheeks. "I fought against the entire universe, because I wasn't accepted and it hurt me that you weren't there to help me fight…" my voice trembled and it took everything I had to try and swallow it back. "That I had to fight against you, my hero, my dad, in addition to everyone else." Dad closed his eyes in pain that made my knees quiver, I wiped my tears away. "Outside I fought the world and at home I fought you, and it felt so bad, dad. Getting up every morning knowing it's just another day of being beaten up or being called names.." he flinched and I stared into his eyes.

"I still tried to be the son you wanted, or at least, the son I thought you wanted." I whispered and his tears flowed freely from his eyes. "I know we talked about it, but it never really disappeared, this feeling of being… a bastard, like I don't belong anywhere and that I'm not good enough for you, for mum and for everyone else. When I was blind, I started to realize that maybe it's up to you to accept me the way I am, that maybe you're the one who needs to change and not me because whatever I did… it didn't matter to you." I paused again and inhaled deeply, closing my eyes and trying to prevent more tears, I felt that lump in my throat shrinking a little. It was one of the greatest feelings I've ever felt, this relief…

"Andrew…" dad started but I raised my hand and he understood and kept quiet.

"I really felt like we were going somewhere after we started those Blind Training sessions, it really seemed like everything's okay and when I was finally happy- I got my eyesight back and I was thrilled. It felt like I had everything the universe could offer me. And then… we went to Xentor." I said and stopped, trying to arrange my thoughts again, it was the most sensitive spot in my heart and trying to be strong and not wanting to cry when I told him how hurt I felt, I stopped for a moment, trying to regain my calmness and relaxation.

Yet when I opened my mouth to continue my confession, mum ran into the living room, worried. "Turn on the TV! There's another attack!" she called and dad telekinetically did as she said at that precise moment my morpher beeped. Dad looked at me sharply as I acted on my first impulse- putting a hand on the device, hiding it. Dad's eyes moved from my hand on the morpher to my eyes. I wanted to say something, anything, really, but I couldn't find the words. As horrific images of my friends being demorphed one by one, I gulped and pressed on my morpher.

"Gael?" I asked.

"Drew, I don't know how, I swear I don't," he said, his voice sound like a howl, "they stripped our powers, I don't know why but the morphers won't recharge. I- Drew, I'm- I'm scar-" it disconnected and I looked at the holo-screen, watching my friends being bombed. I clenched my jaw, if they die- I have to die with them, I knew. I looked at my parents.

"I'm not scared of death." I said simply and stepped back, to their amazed eyes I morphed, possibly for the one last time. I was instantly teleported to the battlefield, just in time to block those deathly purple beams from hitting my friends provided by the fire dragon I fought only a week ago all by myself. It made me demorph, once I tried to morph again yet failed. My morpher needed to charge, I was the only one standing between my friends and those dragons, the only one with an active power. Another dragon appeared all of a sudden, he grabbed me while the ice dragon directed the blue beams to my morpher, it burnt for a moment and then I was dropped harshly on the ground. The last thing I remember is pain out of this world, and out of a few others too.
But that's how I lost my powers. For good.

A/N: I think this chapter turned out lousy, like Harry Potter 7 (I think Harry Potter 7 sucks). So, umm… I can't wait to finish this trilogy already! As for what I said last chapter- about me hating this story-- you don't know how much it takes to write a chapter for this story. Andrew makes me want to hit him on the head. and where it hurts. I love Andrew a lot, he's a part of me, you know that, but he's beginning to get on my nerves lately. argh!