Chapter Thirty-Four

Madeline and Bucky sat on the sofa. Madeline had ordered them Greek food from one of her mother's favourite restaurants way over town. But it was worth the drive.

It had been a week since they had lain in each others arms and said they loved each other. And for the most part things were pretty much the same between them. Madeline had never been especially gregarious so she didn't feel the need to say 'I love you' all the time, and she didn't need to hear it all the time either. Knowing it was the truth, the fact of the situation. That was enough. Aside from the fact that she touched him when she felt like it now, without hesitation and the fact they always slept in her room now, and that was purely sleeping, they were pretty much Bucky and Maddy as they had always been. Just as far as Madeline could tell, happier.

Bucky looked up at her from his lamb souvlaki. "So what's the deal with that Strange guy?"

Madeline choked on her rice, "Sorry, what?"

Bucky looked at her with an amused expression, one eyebrow raising, "Dr. Strange. What's the story there?"

"What story?" Blinking at Bucky, her eyes wide, she was hoping they looked innocent. She wasn't eager to discuss Stephen or the roll he played in her life.

Bucky rolled his eyes, "I could hear you in the bathroom, I know there was something, neither of you were saying. And the way he looked at you when you left," Bucky's eyes went dark, Madeline took in his expression, was he jealous? "It was a look that had a story." He looked up at her, shrugging and just waited for her to respond.

Madeline took a deep breath, this is what people did in relationships, they discussed their lives, previous experiences. She just needed to grit her teeth and bare it, "Well, I don't know how much of a story it is," She focused intensly on her moussaka. "When I went to do my practicum in Stephen's practise-"

"See, already he's Stephen, that's a story," Bucky interrupted.

Maddy ignored him, rolling her eyes, "Anyway," She glared playfully at Bucky, "I was seventeen, and I hadn't declared a specialty yet, but I knew it was going to be involved with neuro science. So anyway, I am, as per usual, the star prodigy. Stephen just loves it because it makes him look really good. And if one thing is important to Stephen Strange, it is that he always looks good. So I thrive under his tutaliage, and possibly, maybe developed a crush on him." Bucky looked up, watching her closely. Madeline shrugged, "I hadn't ever had those feelings before, except when I was like ten in India, on one of the local boys. Anyway, I declare my love for him in this big long winded speech-"

Bucky nodded, "You do do that,"

Madeline blinked at him, "Thank you, your making sharing this story so much easier." He chuckled, looking back down at his dinner quietly. Madeline rolled her eyes, it was hard for her to be really upset with Bucky. It was just so nice to see him happy or enjoying himself, she didn't mind if it was at her expense, "So I tell him and for some reason think I may as well tell him I was going to be a neurologist, to which he responded that I was wasting my talent, wasting his time, why even bother going into medicine if I just wanted to 'ponse', actual word he used, 'around not really helping anyone and leaving all the real work to the surgeons'."

Bucky looked up at Madeline, it looked like he was trying not to laugh, "Real nice guy, see why you fell for him."

Madeline shoved Bucky's hip with her foot since her legs were stretched out on the couch between them, "Hey, I would have liked to have seen your first...person!"

Bucky looked at Madeline and she blushed shrugging, "Did he honestly say that to you?"

Madeline turned to her moussaka, nodding her head, "Oh yeah, word for word pretty much. Didn't even acknowledge the whole I am in love with you thing. I believe he said I was becoming the weak link in the medical chain. Whatever that is."

She could feel Bucky looking at her, "You were seventeen?" Madeline nodded, "How old was he?"

Madeline shrugged, "I dunno, he went to med school with mom, so maybe, uh at the time? Like 30-35?"

"Sounds like an ass," Bucky said. "Coulda let you down gently."

Madeline looked up thinking, "Yeah he was, I realize now it was definitely his intellect that I was attracted to, well that and his physical appeal. But definitely not his personality. Mind you, at the time people didn't think much of my personality," Bucky looked like he wanted to argue but his mouth was full so Madeline kept talking, "Anyway, he became instantly unattractive when he doubted my judgement or ability to be just as good a doctor. It was pretty much then that I just gave up."

Bucky swallowed but was distracted, " 'Gave up'?"

Madeline looked at him, "On men, the opposite sex, relationships, romance." She shrugged, "Didn't seem worth my time." It took her a moment to realize Bucky was staring at her, "What?"

"People can't do that," He said it, like it was preposterous.

"Yes, they can. I hear the women at work say they are swearing off men, all the time." Madeline countered.

Bucky shook his head, "No, they are just saying that. It isn't actually true."

Madeline sat back against the couch and thought about it. Now she thought about it they did say that but then spent half their time in the coffee room discussing different men. She shook her head, "Well, that's counterproductive."

Bucky looked at her, "Attraction isn't about productivity."

Now it was Madeline's turn to look at him like he was being preposterous, "Of course it is. I mean really, it all comes down to evolution. Who can be the best possible mate to carry on your personal genetic code. Who makes your amygdala light up. Which is usually tied to infancy memories, scent associations, and pheromones. Evolution dictates what we find attractive; strength, facial structures. Really if we all looked at it the right way it would save a lot of broken hearts." Bucky was staring at her with an expression she didn't quite know, "What?"

He shook his head, "You're a real romantic you know that."

She rolled her eyes, "I told you, I gave up on that when I was seventeen."

"Until now," Bucky asked running a hand through his hair, pushing it back off his face.

Madeline cleared her throat, "Until now," She concurred, blushing a little.

"And was that about productivity? Evolution?" She looked up at Bucky with big eyes. Realizing how all that must have sounded to him.

"Oh god, no. Well, I mean, especially not the productivity part. Honestly, in our case it really just gets in the way of our Doctor patient relationship, not very productive." She couldn't help add the last part.

Bucky looked at her confused, a slight smile pulling at his lips, "How has it gotten in the way?"

"Well, it hasn't yet but- Look, you just kind of came out of no where for me, literally and figuratively. But it definitely had to do with the amygdala because my body reacted to you way before I was able to intellectualize the feelings."

Madeline scooped up a forkful of rice, but looked at Bucky who was smirking, and looked like he was actually trying not to laugh, "Your body reacted before you could intellectualize the feelings?"

She cleared her throat, blushing to the tenth power, "Actually it has me thinking of a possible new study based on the amygdala's interaction with love, or the emotions we commonly associate with it. Is it possible to be physically in love with someone and not intellectually and vice versa? Could be interesting to look into." She inhaled the rice just to be able to focus on something other than Bucky.

Bucky was staring at her again,"You're a very interesting woman."

Madeline chewed and swallowed her rice, "It bodes well for me that you think that." She cut off a piece of moussaka but let it linger on her fork. She looked over at Bucky, under her lashes, "So, who was your first love?"

His eyes unfocused like he was thinking, "Uh-"

Madeline instantly regretted her words, "Oh my god, Bucky I am sorry, I shouldn't have asked you that." He looked at her a little surprised looking, like her reaction had taken him aback, she blinked, "Because of your memory..."

"Oh right," He nodded but his eyes still had this hazy look, like he was thinking hard.

Madeline looked at him, sitting up straighter, "You can't remember, not because of your mind, but because you literally cannot remember? Can you!?"

Bucky looked at her, his expression innocent, "I don't even know what you just said so, I am not gonna respond."

Madeline glared, "What, there were just so many women you don't remember the first?" Madeline felt a pit growing in her stomach like she hadn't been stuffing her face for the last forty five minutes.

Bucky shifted in his seat, "I mean, there were some..."

Madeline raised an eyebrow, "More than a few, I am sure," She suddenly felt irrationally sulky.

Bucky smiled at her words, as if forgetting who he was talking to, "Well, yeah," Madeline gave him more of a kick than a nudge this time. He looked over at her and at least looked bashful, "I mean," He shrugged, "There were girls, but I didn't really, really love any of them. It wasn't like I left some huge love behind." Madeline blinked, Bucky looked at her, "What?"

Madeline shook her head, putting her plate down on the coffee table, "I am trying to decide whether that makes it better, or worse."

Bucky put his plate down, and moved down the couch, gently picking up Madeline's legs so he could put them over his own. "It should make it better." Madeline chanced a look at him, he was watching her, his hand reached up and brushed her hair back from her face.

Madeline took a deep breath to keep from getting flustered, Bucky was still very tight fisted when it came to affection, understandably so, of course. But it still caught Madeline off guard when he did things like this, without her initiating it. "Well, I guess I don't really have anything to worry about, I mean they are all ancient now. Or dead."

Bucky chuckled shaking his head, "You can be dark sometimes, you know that right?"

Madeline nodded, "Yeah, I've been told that in the past." She cocked her head to the side, "So if it wasn't about evolution or productivity, what interested you in all your women."

Bucky stretched an arm out on the sofa behind her, rolling his eyes, "You don't need to make it sound like I had a brothel, Maddy."

She shrugged, "You didn't give me hard numbers, I have to assume the worst."

Bucky rolled his eyes, "Scientists,"

Madeline smiled, "Don't dodge the question, I really want to know."

Bucky took a deep breath and his eyes got this far away look in them as he stared off into space, he shrugged, "I dunno. I would just see someone somewhere, a dancehall, or the theatre or the ball park. And I would just know, that something was going to happen, or should happen, or could possibly happen." He looked at Madeline who was shaking her head, "What?"

"That is the most ridiculously vague answer I have ever heard."

Bucky shrugged, "It's just how it was,"

Madeline wanted to scream, "Well, what did you say to them, that would make 'something' happen?"

Bucky thought about it before looking at Madeline, he put this enormous smile on his face, and for a minute she was completely dazed, "Hello Beautiful," it was almost like hearing a completely different voice coming out of his mouth, the confidence the exuded from him as he channeled his former self.

She looked at him, "That's it?"

Bucky shrugged, "Looked like it would have worked on you, just a second ago." Madeline blushed, she suddenly felt very intimidated by the idea of Bucky as he once was. Guys like him never paid her any attention. Ever.

"Right," Madeline looked at her hands.

"Maddy?" She looked up at Bucky, he looked worried, like he had something wrong. Which of course he hadn't.

Madeline took a deep breath, "So let's say hypothetically, you were in one of those dance halls, and you saw me, bearing in mind it is the forties and you know, hypothetically, I am a normal girl. Not your like only shot at getting your life back. Do you think you would have had that 'feeling' that something could happen? Hypothetically?"

Bucky had his eyes on her face, but Madeline found, frustratingly, she could only stand to glance at him. "Hypothetically?" She nodded but when she looked up she saw his face and realized he was teasing her.

"Bucky!" She snapped, crossing her arms, "Answer the question."

He rested his head against his left hand, his elbow resting on the back of the couch, he looked at her and his eyes just looked so... Open, another fleeting new appearance from him, "You would have taken my breath away."

He just said it, like it wasn't the most amazing thing another human being had ever said to Madeline. Like it was the most honest and obvious answer in the world. Before she knew what she was doing, Madeline leaned forward and just kissed him.