My beloved Blaine,
It was so good to talk to you on the phone. I don't expect you to remember it, Carole warned me about that. We didn't say anything important. You kept talking about Mickey and Minnie mouse, that the man and woman behind the voices are married. I actually knew it, but now, after you told me about ten times, I know it a little more.
You say the craziest things when you're drugged... Like cute-crazy things, but please don't start taking drugs just to be cute, there's no reason - you're the cutest off drugs as well!
Good to hear that your oxygen level had risen since they put that tube in. Carole said that when the tube is out and your fever has gone down, that you can come home! Can't wait!
Wanna hear something funny (not for Rachel, but it made me laugh...) that happened in school today? Rachel, Mercedes and I had bought lunch and were heading to a table in the cafeteria. They were serving Jello for dessert and someone had dropped it on the floor. Rachel stepped in it and lost her balance. She landed on her back and seconds later her tray landed on her face, not with the food up... So, she's all messy (and embarrassed), so she goes to change into her other clothes (being in New direction makes us always have a change of clothes in the locker). She comes back and we'd finish eating. She follows a little after us out in the corridor, and when she goes through the door, she gets slushied. In her new change of clothes. It's terrible, but at the same time, it's so funny and she had a test later so she couldn't ditch school... So she changes into her PE clothes and walks around in those all day. Coach Sue was on her like a hawk all afternoon. :)
About the whole being "one of the guys"; no, it's not important for me. It felt like that yesterday, but not really. I just wanna be me, that's the most important thing. And to be with you of course.
And thank you, Blaine. It means a lot to me that you love all the things I sometimes struggle with.
This writing thing suits me, you're right about that. It had always been easier for me to express myself in writing.
And there has been something I have wanted to discuss with you for some time now. But I don't know how to bring it up... But I guess I'm writing about it now.
When we have sex (which is amazing!), it's always you that... Tops and it's always me who is bottom... We have never spoken about this. But, how do you feel about doing it the other way? What are your thoughts and feelings about it? Would it be important for you to switch? It wouldn't for me...
Okay... I'm and I'm hard as rock... I have to go and shower... I'll be thinking of you!
Love you always and beyond.
Your blushing Kurt
My horniest Kurt,
You do realize that I'm sharing a small room with mom, right? I can't read stuff like that in a hospital bed... It makes me... Harder than rock... And I can't do a thing about it. I'm not allowed to shower until my tube is out, and even if I could, my right hand is in a cast... And it hurts like hell when I try to use it...
But... Now that I've taken some deep breaths (And to be honest, it's been 30 minutes since I wrote the paragraph above.) I'm gonna answer your question. I love topping you. I love it, Kurt. I don't want to switch, and to be totally honest, I don't think I could be the bottom. It could trigger bad memories for me. I don't know. But, if you would wanna switch, then I'd work on it for you. I'd do anything for you.
Love you the most,
Your Blaine for ever
My dearest Kurt,
I just slept some more and I'm gonna write to you some more.
I keep hearing that I'm weird / funny / cute on drugs. But, it's not enough to make me wanna be on them forever. And, I have no memory of our phone call yesterday. At all. The nurse that worked when I came back from the operation is working today and she laughed at me this morning and commented on something I'd said yesterday. I have no memory of her or of the conversation... That's really weird, that I don't remember it. Carole and you usually don't expect me to remember things from drugged conversations, thank you for that! It makes me feel so stupid...
Poor Rachel, she must have felt so stupid... But, I could totally see the funny side of it, hope she can too, soon.
Now for the good news... I've been able to take the oxygen tube away! Yey for me! When I fall asleep though, or rather when I wake up, I always have the tube under my nose, so someone (I'm guessing mom, but I have no proof), puts it there when I'm sleeping. It makes me wonder how deep I sleep... If Carole can move my head around, I'm guessing I sleep quite hard?
And that has made me think about the night when I was brought here, can you tell me about it? I have no memory from it...
I've been awake for an hour, so now I have to sleep some more. Do you think I'll wake up with an oxygen tube under my nose? I'm betting I will.
Love you so much.
Your Blaine for ever.
Kurty,
Right when I had written my last email and was about to put my phone on the table, I saw that Carole is sleeping, so I might be able to sleep without the freaking oxygen tube!
Love you.
My beloved Blaine,
I'm curious... Did you wake up with an oxygen tube or not?
Rachel isn't able to laugh about it yet... But I'm still laughing about it. Mercedes is as well!
Are you always awake about an hour before you need to go back to sleep?
It's awesome that you're able to be without oxygen. I know you didn't like that tube, or the blowing.
And, yes, Blaine, you do sleep hard. Especially when you're sick. Carole could change your sheets without you noticing.
That night... It was scary... I woke up by a loud crash. You weren't in the bed with me. I found you at the bottom of the stairs. You were a pile of Blaine. You were burning up; you had such a high fever. You drank some water. I think that was your mission when you were about to walk down the stairs. Then you fell asleep and I couldn't move you, so I called Carole for help. She called Kristen, who apparently sleeps harder than you when she's pregnant. So Martin answered (and thereby came out as Kristen's boyfriend to Carole). He carried you to the car and we drove to the ER.
The car ride was crazy... We kept stopping for Kristen; she had to throw up, while you were passed out on my knee in the backseat. It was like 4 am and we were so tired and it just became so funny with Kristen's puking, so we laughed all the way there...
I'm guessing it's not funny for you now, but it was then... ;)
You got a letter today! It was addressed to you, mom & dad. Dad opened it, and inside the first envelope was another envelope with only your name on it. Do you have a secret admirer? Should I be jealous?
Nothing fun happened in school today. Other than I got loads of homework, I'm about to start on that now...
Love you.
Blaine, you are my life now (quote from where?)
Your Kurt
My twilight-crazy Kurt,
You really thought I wouldn't be able to say where that quote is from? How many times have we watched twilight? 100?
You should be extremely jealous! Of course I have a secret admirer that sends letters to me and my parents! That's so logical! I have no idea who sent me a letter though... Guess I have to wait and see...
I did wake without the oxygen tube! Only because when I woke up, mom was still sleeping. A nurse gave me antibiotics. She's a bit funny and we talked some. Then after the antibiotics, she has to flush the IV with something, they have these syringes that are a bit tricky to start flushing with. They press on it and nothing happens and then they push some more and then the liquid is all over the place... So, this nurse usually presses it beside my bed before putting it to the IV line, but this time she pressed it over the bed, and it came with such force it hit Carole in the face. So she woke up by a shower of liquid! You should have seen her face! It was priceless!
Guess what Kurt?
Guess what?
GUESS WHAT?
They took out the tube from my lung today! And tomorrow I'm coming home to Lima! To the hospital, but still! I'll be so much closer to you! We are leaving the hospital here after the morning antibiotics. Mom has her car here, and since she's a nurse, I can go with her. They wanted me to go with an ambulance, but I so didn't want that!
Yes, I'm awake for about an hour before I have to sleep. Then I sleep for two hours before I wake up. That's the rhythm these days. Mom says it's the infection, the antibiotics and the pain medicine combined with the usual sedatives that make me such fun person! ):
But they said today I only have to have the antibiotics for another three days after today. Or, rather, I need the IV antibiotics for three more days then I'll have pills for another week.
When they took x-rays, they saw my broken and healed ribs. So when Carole was in the cafeteria today, a nurse, a doctor and a social worker came in to talk with me. I was totally blindsided. I couldn't form any words. I just started crying when I heard them talking about it, and asking me if Carole and Burt are mean to me. I got so angry, but I was crying, so I couldn't talk... How could they ever think mom and dad would ever do that? Well, fortunately, Carole came back then, and could explain everything.
I wish I could just be Blaine Hummel and no one would ask anything, I wish my past didn't have to be brought up over and over again. I just want to learn to live, not to always have the past to explain. I love that about you. You don't always bring my past into everything we do. You expect me to study when that's what we agreed on. I'm so grateful for that.
I love you so much.
If you can come to the hospital tomorrow, then we'll see each other then, otherwise we'll see each other in a couple of days!
You are my life too Kurty.
Your Blaine forever
What?
I'm gonna see you tomorrow?
Yeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Right, maybe I should write a proper email as well...
My Blaine forever and ever,
I can't believe you're coming to Lima! I can't wait to see you!
Carole told me about the incident with the doctor and social worker. I'm so sorry Blainey, I'm sorry your past doesn't let you be. But you do know they ask out of love and care, right? If you hadn't been with us already, wouldn't it have been nice if they gave you an opportunity to tell them about your parents? But, they should have read your papers a bit more; we talked about this at the ER as well. The doctor brought it up then, Carole explained and she let it be. Anyone could see that Carole and dad don't want to hurt you or anything like that.
I'm so sorry about that Blaine, but, I'm also glad they did care. You've told me about times when social workers, teachers and others have not done their work about this, so it pleases me to hear that someone actually does their job! Try to see it from the ten year's old Blaine who didn't want anything more than to be asked those questions.
Rachel started talking about NYADA and Juilliard today. I told her I had changed my mind and wasn't about to pursue a career in music, that I wanted to be a social worker and help kids in need. She became so angry. This was during lunch. She screamed and screamed at me before she stormed out of the cafeteria. We sat with the rest of the glee club, and they were very supportive about it. Especially Puck and Finn. They told me that I would make an amazing social worker, and Puck said he wished he had met a social worker like me when he was younger. That meant a lot for me. To hear that from someone who actually have been there.
Rachel didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. Mercedes and Tina tried to talk some sense into her, but she refused. I don't really care; I know she'll come around. This is just the drama queen Rachel is.
So funny that Carole got showered by the IV liquid! What did she say? I can't see her getting angry about that.
I'm done with my homework now.
I'm guessing you're sleeping already, you did sound really sleepy when we talked. It's so good to hear your voice even though I like this emailing as well.
I'm gonna take a shower and then go to bed.
See you tomorrow!.
Love you now and forever.
Your Kurt
My dearest Kurt.
I just got my last Cincinnati dose of antibiotics. Mom's getting the car and soon we'll be on our way home.
She didn't get angry about the shower. She was just confused. I don't know if she was really awake, cause she just looked at us and then went back to sleep. :)
See you soon!
Can't wait!
Love you the most.
Your Blaine forever