CHAPTER 36 One More Secret
"Sorry to interrupt," Nurse Susan poked her head in through the door a little while later, "but there's some people outside here who are very anxious to come in. Can I let them?"
"Of course!" Aria said, eager to introduce Lily Shae to her friends and Ella. For the past – however long it had been, she had no idea – she and Ezra had just been sitting and staring in awe at the tiny creature now snuggled up against her chest, as Susan had instructed, and wondering how on earth they had managed to create such a tiny, perfect human being. They hadn't even thought about Ella and the girls, who must be outside dying to see the new addition.
Ella came in first, followed by Aria's friends, who hung back as Ella, after a moment's hesitation, rushed forward and knelt down at Aria's side, to take in the face of her new granddaughter.
"Aria...she's beautiful," she breathed. "She's perfect!"
"She is, right? It's not just us?" Aria replied, grinning.
"No. Honestly, she's the prettiest baby I've ever seen," Ella said, completely lost in grandmotherly adoration. "Can I hold her?"
"Of course! She's all wrapped up; though be careful, I'm a little bit al fresco over here. Not that it's anything all of you haven't seen before," Aria said happily, not entirely caring who saw her boobs at this point. Ella took Lily carefully and stood back up with her. Hanna, Emily and Spencer came crowding round to see. Lily had a head of dark hair, just like both her parents, and her dark blue eyes were open, staring calmly at all the new faces around her.
"Holy crap, she looks just like you, Mr Fitz!" Hanna exclaimed.
Ezra looked startled, and then grinned. "And here I was hoping she'd get her looks from her mother."
"Hanna's right; she does look like you," Ella said, in a slightly accusatory tone.
"It's not that obvious, though, is it? I mean, people who don't know about Ezra and me aren't going to notice it, are they?" Aria asked, suddenly worried.
"I'm sure they won't," Emily said soothingly. "People don't notice stuff like that unless they're looking out for it." She took the baby gently from Ella, and leaned in close.
"I'm your Aunt Emily," she said softly. "And I'm going to teach you how to swim the second your mama lets me."
"Oh god, if she's anything like me she'll probably sink like a stone," said Aria, who did NOT like swimming – or any sports, come to that.
"Here, let me hold her, Em," Hanna said, not waiting for a response, but just leaning in and taking the baby anyway.
"Careful there, guys," Ezra said.
"Aww. Who's got an overprotective Daddy, then? Is it you? Is it?" Hanna cooed to Lily in baby talk.
"Speaking of which, I called your father about forty minutes ago, and told him you were in labor," Ella said to Aria suddenly.
"Oh, great," Aria replied. "So how long till he gets here and ruins this happy moment?"
"Aria!" Ella said sharply, and Aria dropped her lashes and fiddled with the edge of the sheet covering her.
"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just – not ready for Ezra to leave yet," she explained in a small voice. Ezra squeezed her hand reassuringly.
"It's okay, Aria. We've had a lot more today than we ever thought we would. The fact that I was here to see our daughter come into the world is something I'll treasure for the rest of my life. I can leave when I have to."
"And you will, because – as I keep having to remind you both – this is not a game of happy families," Ella replied coldly. "I don't know how THIS", she waved her hands at Ezra and Aria, "is going to work, and I need some time to think about it. Quite frankly, if it wasn't for the fact that I refuse to put my daughter through that, you'd be behind bars, Mr Fitz."
"Mom, please-" Aria began.
"Not now, Aria. Like I said, I need more time to process this. As for your father, he'll only be here by tomorrow morning. It's nearly midnight now, and he doesn't have the car – and anyway, by the time he got here, I doubt anyone would allow him to see you so late. So he'll be leaving at sunrise, as planned, and be here about two hour later."
"I didn't even realise it was so late," Aria said, surprised. "Wait, what's the date today?"
"It's June tenth," Spencer replied immediately. She was holding Lily, but now came over and handed her back to Aria. "There you go, sweet girl. Back to Mommy!"
"June tenth...well, I guess that's our daughter's birthday!" Aria said, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. "We all thought you'd be a July baby, didn't we, Lily?"
"Omigosh! Can you tell us what her middle name is now?" Hanna demanded. After teasing her friends that she had an idea for the name, Aria had decided not to tell them until Lily was born, and despite all the pestering they'd given her, the actual birth had driven it right out of their minds.
Aria smiled now. "I think you're going to like it. I wanted it to be a special name, in honour of the four of us...and how you were there for me when I first found out I was pregnant."
"So?" Spencer asked, confused.
"Her middle name is made up of initials. Spencer...Hanna...Aria...Emily." Aria pointed at each girl in turn.
"S, H, A...E – Shae? Aria, that's beautiful!" Emily gasped, rushing forward to hug her friend – as best she could, with Aria in bed with a newborn on her chest. The other two did the same.
"Oh my god, now you've made me cry," said Spencer, who seldom did, accusingly.
"I think that means she likes it," Aria explained to Ezra.
"She loves it. We all do," Hanna retorted. "I've never really cared about babies, so I don't know, but I reckon Lily Shae is the best baby ever, right?"
"No arguments here," Aria replied. She stifled a yawn.
"Oh – you're tired. We should go," Spencer said.
"You know, I didn't even think about it, but I am a little," Aria admitted. "But actually, you know what? I'm starving!"
"Not surprising, since you didn't have dinner," Ella remarked. Aria was about to add, Or lunch, when she realised she'd been in bed with Ezra at the time, and shut her mouth quickly. No need to remind Ella of THAT fact.
"I'll go see if someone can rustle you up something," Ella continued, "while the girls say goodbye. Goodbye, girls."
"Bye, Mrs Montgomery," they chorused, if a little uncomfortably. They'd seen too many awkward scenes that day to be entirely comfortable.
Ella left the room, and after stopping at the Nurse's station and being assured that someone would take some food in to Aria soon, she made her way out of maternity, through the lobby, and outside the hospital. She leaned up against a wall in the darkness, breathing deeply, and taking in the fresh, cold night air. This was where she'd come earlier, too, when she couldn't stand being in that room anymore with Aria and...HIM, and watching them be so stupidly happy, like nothing was wrong about their sick relationship. How on earth was she supposed to deal with this? She was the last person in the world who would want to deny a baby its father, but when the father was a man who had abused his power and position, and had sex – statutory rape, she reminded herself – with a sixteen-year-old student, how could she possibly let him near her grandchild? How could she even let him near her daughter again? Or, come to that, the hundreds of students he taught at school every day, many younger than Aria. He couldn't be allowed to go on teaching, could he? And yet, if she did the right thing and reported him to the police, Aria would be caught up in a scandal she might never recover from. She didn't want her daughter to be known forever as the girl who had her teacher's baby. But how could she punish Ezra Fitz for what he'd done, without hurting Aria in the process?
Ella sighed and gave up. It was too late, and she was too tired, to think about this anymore tonight. She'd go back up to Aria, make sure HE left, and go home and get a good night's sleep before she had to face Byron and pretend everything was fine. Of one thing she was still sure: Byron wouldn't be finding out the paternity of his new granddaughter anytime soon. If ever.
Ella made her way back up to Aria's room. When she got there, the door was propped partially open, and she could see Ezra holding a plate of food and feeding forkfuls of it to Aria, while her hands were occupied in holding the baby against her chest. They were speaking in soft voices, smiling all the while. She watched as Ezra leaned forward and tucked a strand of Aria's hair behind her ear before he gave her the next forkful, and she giggled at something before she opened her mouth and took it. As she chewed, Ezra leaned forward again, this time to Lily, who was sleeping peacefully on Aria's chest, and stroked her hair gently with his index finger. It was such an intimate moment between the three of them, that Ella found herself holding her breath. Could this man really love her daughter? He appeared to. But if he loved her, how could he have done what he did to her? And how could he have let himself get involved enough to fall in love with her to begin with? At the very least, he'd been reckless and selfish, not to mention immoral and unlawful. She pushed the door open.
"Hey, Mom," Aria said. "The food arrived, and it's actually not bad!"
"You're just too starved to care," Ezra chuckled.
"You should have some. You must be just as hungry as I was," Aria protested.
"Yeah...all the same, I'm gonna say no to the hospital food," Ezra replied, grimacing. "I'll pick up something on the way home."
"Anyway, you need your strength, Aria," Ella said firmly, failing to hide the disapproval in her voice – although what she disapproved of, specifically in this instance, she wasn't sure of. She just didn't like seeing Aria so...involved with Ezra, like they were a real couple: sharing in-jokes, eating each other's food...honestly, it would be easier to deal with this if Aria HAD been knocked up by some random guy. It was the obvious closeness and intimacy that Aria and Ezra shared that upset her. Aria should hate him for what he'd put her through, not allow him to feed her, and smile up at him in that loving fashion, and talk to him like they were a real family.
Aria looked at her mother consideringly for a few seconds, and then went back to eating as Ezra waved another bite of food at her. Ella sat down in a chair on the other side of the bed, and looked at Lily, sound asleep, instead of at her daughter and Ezra. Lily really DID look like Ezra. She had his chin, and his mouth, and the shape of his forehead...Ella knew that newborn babies often did look like their fathers (Mike in particular had looked just like Byron), but seeing Ezra Fitz in her granddaughter's face was something of a shock, nonetheless. Ugh. She was never going to be rid of him, was she?
Ella watched and waited until Aria had finished eating, and Ezra had got up to put the plate down on the tray at the foot of her bed. Then she said, "I think it's time for you to leave, Mr Fitz."
Ezra looked at her, and then nodded. He turned back to Aria. "She's right, I should go."
Aria nodded, knowing her mother had given her more time with Ezra today than she had been willing to. "I'll let you know when you can come back," she murmured, as Ezra bent down to her. "I love you."
"I love you. Thank you for giving me a daughter," he whispered back, hoping Ella couldn't hear what they were saying. "I'm going to fight for you, Aria."
"Me too," Aria whispered back against his lips, and then, as Ella cleared her throat loudly, Ezra stood up again. He placed his hand on Lily's cheek.
"Bye, baby girl," he said softly, and then walked over to the door.
"Ella – thank you again for today," he said, awkwardly. "I meant what I said earlier; seeing Lily born was the greatest gift anyone could have given me. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart."
Ella nodded, coldly. "Wait outside for me, Mr Fitz. I need to say some things to you."
Ezra nodded and left, and Ella went and took his place on the chair by Aria's bed. She automatically reached out and touched Lily's little hand, which was sticking out from under the sheet, and Lily curled her fingers around Ella's index finger.
"That's so beautiful," Aria said, gazing down at her baby's fingers holding her mother's much larger one.
"I can't believe she's yours," Ella said.
" Me neither," Aria admitted. "I'm going to need a few weeks, at least, to get my head around that. Mom-"
"Yes?" Ella replied wearily.
"Don't be too hard on him, please? Remember he's just as overwhelmed as I am right now."
Ella sighed. "And when he's less overwhelmed, what then? Can I be hard on him then?"
"Mom. I don't know what else I can say, except that I love him, and we both love Lily more than anything, and – and we just want this all to work out!"
"Calm down, hon," Ella said, for tears had sprung to Aria's eyes almost as she began speaking. "Look, this is a complicated situation, and it's ridiculously late right now. No good will come of us discussing this tonight. So I'm going to go home and get some sleep, and you're going to do the same here, and tomorrow I'll bring your father by to see you, and we'll pretend everything that happened today never happened. You'll be home in two or so days, anyway, and we can discuss it properly then. Okay?"
"Okay," Aria said, sleepily. Ella was right, it was too late to talk about something so important.
Ella leaned down and kissed her. "I'm going to send the nurse back in to get you and Lily ready for bed. Sleep well, Aria."
"Night, mom. Thanks for...you know."
"I know," Ella smiled, and left.
As she closed the door behind her, Ezra was waiting for her in the doorway opposite.
"Come on," was all she said, and he followed her as she led the way out of the ward and into the lifts. As the door closed he turned to her, his eyebrows raised expectantly. But Ella merely stared at him, almost appraisingly. It was uncomfortable, but nonetheless he raised his blue eyes to meet her brown ones, and held her gaze.
The lift opened on the ground floor without either of them having said a word, and Ezra, unable to bear it any longer, blurted out, "What did you want to say to me?"
Ella stepped out of the lift and let him follow, and then turned back to him. "Do you really love her?" she asked.
"More than I would ever have thought possible," Ezra answered quietly. "And then I held Lily, and I realised I've never loved anything, anyone, that much, in that way, either. I know I would take a bullet for Aria, no question, but I never thought I could say the same for someone only a few hours old. And yet I can. I love them both so much I would die for either of them, Ella."
"And if you had to leave them, if it was best for them, would you?"
Ella looked at her. "IF it was best for them, then I would. But you'd have a hard time convincing me of a scenario where they would be better off without me."
"Really? The fact that her teacher is the father of her baby, and if it gets out it will ruin her life, isn't a good enough scenario for you?" Ella snapped.
Ezra shook his head calmly. "Whether I'm here with Aria or not wouldn't change that truth, if it got out. So yes, we'll still need to hide it. But hiding it is better than Aria and Lily being without me. I know Aria feels the same. Remember, Ella, it's just for another year. Once Aria graduates high school we can move away and be together, with Lily."
"What makes you so sure about that?" Ella raised her eyebrows.
Ezra frowned. "Because I love Aria and I want to be with her forever."
"It's not as simple as that," Ella replied as they exited the hospital.
"It can be," Ezra said.
Ella stared at him for a few moments, and then shook her head. "Come on. I'll drive you back to my house."
"Why?" Ezra said, puzzled.
"Because you left your car there," Ella replied, simply.
"Oh, right," Ezra said. And while not another word was said on the drive home, he couldn't help but feel slightly hopeful. Maybe things would work out after all.