SIBLING RIVALRY
One wall. One wall is all that separates him from her.
Laying on the too-small bed, a bed better suited for a Dwarf than a Giant, or even an Asgardian-sized Giant, Loki kicks off his boots, letting his feet hang over the edge of the footboard.
"You know they were just having a laugh." Thor says out of nowhere, referring to his friend's comments from earlier.
"I don't care what they were having." Loki mutters to the wall.
Resting atop the enormous sheepskin rug on the floor beside the bed, Thor folds his muscular arms behind his head and stares up at the ceiling and sighs.
"If you want to talk about it..."
I'm here, he thinks as he trails off.
He tells himself he shouldn't care. That Loki's gotten what he'd had coming to him for quite some time now. That he deserves it. For Sigyn. For Odin. For all of this mess. That he's not even his brother, anyhow. The man sharing his space, his air, is not one in the same as the boy he once knew. The child he'd played with. The young man he had fought both with and beside. The brother he'd loved.
And yet...
And yet, no matter how hard he tries, how many times Loki's deceived and betrayed, Thor just can't help himself. He'll always have a soft spot for his black sheep of a brother. Because that's exactly what he is. Family.
"Too little, too late, to play the attentive older brother, you think?" Loki groans. "Shall we stay up swapping gossip like a pair of old maids? Mayhap braid each other's hair?"
Braid...
Loki runs his fingers through his hair, rolling the braid Sigyn had woven for him between his middle finger and thumb. Just before digging his claws into the thing and unraveling it altogether.
"Because I do, Thor. I think it's far too late for your ill attempt at kindness." Shaking out his hair, Loki brushes it back from his face. "Nor do I much feel like sharing my feelings with you like we're some sort of..."
"Besties?" Thor adds with a sneaky grin, raising an eyebrow as he looks up towards the bed.
As if he could possibly see Loki rolling his eyes from his position on the floor. Which he can't. But he can definitely hear his brother groaning.
"You've been spending far too much time among those chittering dullards of Midgard." Loki chides, earning a chuckle from Thor.
"They're not so bad, really." Thor happily defends. "When you're not trying to enslave them."
Which, in turn, earns a short laugh from Loki.
"One cannot enslave that which is already a slave by their own design."
"That's not true."
"Oh, but it is." Loki argues. "They go about their short and sorry little lives doing what, exactly? Glued to their magic little screens of mind-diluting bliss? Caring for not if the man, woman, or child beside them could be starving, or dying, or lying in the gutter somewhere. But for the sake of what it means for them. How they could possibly exploit the issue whilst doing as little to nothing as they can possibly do about it. Such things are best left to their so-called heroes, after all. Passing the buck and blame to beings just as base and broken as themselves. It's all so pointless, really. Their lives are all so brief. And instead of choosing the more fulfilling path, they'll gladly accept the meaningless existence. Every time. Over and over again. A cycle to which there is no end."
Wide-eyed, Thor stares at the ceiling. Quiet. In a state of shock after Loki's little tirade.
"Wow..." He finally exhales. "Well aren't you a little spot of sunshine."
"All I'm saying is that these humans of Midgard that you adore so much, they're nothing but selfish, warmongering, sheep. Easily led and so quick to betray. The lot of them. They care for nothing but themselves." The Dark Prince shares soberly. "They don't deserve your kindness. They don't deserve a second chance."
It's so plain to see that Loki's no longer talking about Midgard, but himself. Even Thor's quick to pick up on it.
"I like to think they're not all bad. That there's still so much good left should you dare peek beneath the surface." Thor addresses Loki. "There's still hope."
"And what hope is left for me?" Loki places his hand upon the wall. Palm flat against the woodgrain. The physical barrier between that of he and Sigyn.
He sighs.
"She hates me." Loki reveals quietly. Nearly a whisper.
"Can you blame her?"
Nay. Nay, he cannot.
Even if he doesn't say it, for Loki, his silence has always said much more than words. Always so quiet and contemplative, an introvert by nature. But Thor knows. As has he always. He's learned to read his brother well. At times, even seeing through most tricks. The Odinson can feel it in his presence. In the air all about him. That remorse. That pain and regret. That sorrow to which there is no beginning, middle, or end.
Loki's fingers begin idly tracing along a knot in the wood, swirling about the rings where a branch had been severed from its parent tree.
He finds himself conflicted. Wanting so badly to keep all his pain inside, to not let it out, especially to Thor. He'd said he didn't want to talk about it, that he didn't want to share, but then there's the part of him that needs to tell his story. That needs to find some comfort in someone. Anyone. For the chance to be forgiven. To let his wounded heart begin to mend.
And so, he gives in.
"I'd stolen more than a mere kiss from her this time, you know." Loki confides slowly. "I lied my way into her bed. Deceived her for, what, but my own selfish needs. I betrayed Sigyn. I betrayed her trust."
Lying on his back, Thor listens to Loki's confession. Eyes to the ceiling, following along the large timber beams. Studying how the rich, exposed wood juts out from the white plaster. Such a simple but stark contrast as the image shifts from dark to light. Dark to light.
He closes his eyes.
"Do you remember when we were little and we'd have campouts in the hay loft above the stables?" Thor asks, completely off topic.
Loki nods, even if only for himself. Tis not like Thor is watching.
"Aye." He replies, reminiscing not all too fondly. "I'd stink of manure for a week. Never could get that smell out of my nose."
From the floor, Thor laughs.
"Why do you ask?" Loki inquires.
"Not sure." The Odinson shrugs, opening his eyes back up to the black on white ceiling. "I suppose all of this reminds me of that. A simpler time. How we would stay up till the brink of dawn telling stories of the sort of men we'd one day grow to be."
The sort of men... As if those plans ever did involve a bastard Frost Giant. A relic with no future, with nary a purpose at all.
"Mmm... The dreams of children." The Laufeyson replies. "How far we've wandered from the path."
"Not so far that we cannot find our way back."
Loki's gone silent again. Staring at the wall, mayhap pretending he's not listening, but Thor knows he can hear just fine. He knows his words are getting through to him. Sinking right in.
"Why did you lie to her?" Thor asks, returning to Loki's confession.
The Liesmith repositions himself on the uncomfortable bed, now staring at the ceiling, as well. He folds his arms behind his head.
"Oh, I don't know. Mayhap the little detail that up until twelve hours ago, I was legally deceased?" He jests. A defense to hide his true emotions. His true pain. "Just like I don't know why I'm even telling you all this. I said I didn't wish to share my feelings, and yet you've roped me into this-"
"Broprah moment?" Thor interjects with another one of his newly discovered Midgardian phrases, courtesy of the interwebs. That and his puny, human roommate Darryl, whom has had many a Broprah moment of his own.
Which causes Loki to sit upright in bed. Staring down at the Prince as if he has lobsters growing out of his ears.
"Beg pardon?" Is all he can bring himself to say.
"Broprah moment." Thor repeats himself, now more sure and firm. As if the term explains itself.
Loki continues with his staring. His mouth held agape. Finding himself somewhere in the realm between disgust and confusion. He crooks a very curious eyebrow at the God of Storms and Thunder.
"I'm not even going to pretend to know what that means."
Thor offers one of his most charming of grins up at his brother.
"Tis when a gathering of men host a sitting to share their feelings and have a good cry." He explains.
Still, Loki stares. The corner of his lip twisted up into a sneer. His eye begins to twitch unexpectedly.
"I hate you." Loki moans, rubbing at the tension building just between his eyes. "I hate you so much right now."
With a thundering rumble, Thor laughs good and hard, holding his chest as he rolls on the floor. That infectious sort of laugh that Loki can hardly bring himself to admit that he'd been missing. So infectious that Loki almost forgets that he's hurting. Tis so plain to see, especially for one as attuned as he, that the big, stupid, lug is going out of his way to try and lift Loki's spirits. Which very well might have worked, except there's one catch. The Liesmith doesn't want to be happy. He doesn't want to allow himself to be cheered up. All that Loki wishes for is to be left to wallow in the depths of his own self-pity. To drown in his depression and hatred of himself.
"I see what you're doing, Thor, and it won't work." Loki returns to lying on the bed, his back flat against the mattress. "As I've told you already, we're enemies. Nothing more. I don't know why you insist on trying."
Loki folds his arms at his chest, staring hard at the ceiling as he draws his lips into a thin, straight line.
Without looking, he can hear Thor repositioning, as well. The sound of his body shifting as he turns to face the bed.
"Aye. We SHOULD be enemies, Loki. As should I hate you. Really, I should. You've given me more than ample reason to, seeing as you've hidden father away to Gods know where. Not to mention, deeply hurt one of our dearest childhood friends. Impersonated the crown. Thrown our kingdom into ruin. LIED to me time and time again. And yet... And yet try as I might, I cannot. I cannot bring myself to hate you, brother." Thor replies, from the bottom of his heart. "You're my brother, Loki, despite whatever you may say or believe. And I know, in the past, I hadn't always been the greatest brother to you. I know I wasn't always there, but I've changed. And I know you can change, too."
It wasn't so long ago when Thor had found himself humbled. How spoiled he was, how arrogant and impulsive, before the kind people of Midgard took it upon themselves to take him into their hearts and their homes and show him mercy. And just when he was at his lowest. Just as Loki is now. One cannot begin to rise, to grow, until they've hit rock bottom.
"We've all done things that bring us shame. That we regret. Tis what we do after that defines us." Thor continues. "And if it truly is redemption that you seek, then I will help you, brother."
Completely nauseated, Loki groans.
"Such heartfelt words. Truly. I'm touched." He expresses sarcastically. "And what makes you think you can finally trust me, 'brother'. After all you've said I've done, what of after I've betrayed you?"
"You won't." Thor replies so simply. Just like back inside the dungeon. Tis easy because he already knows the answer.
"And what makes you so sure?" Loki asks.
As if he even has to, the answer is that simple.
"Because as long as she's around, you'll dare not risk such another betrayal. Am I correct?" Thor answers expectedly. "You seek her forgiveness, not for her to loathe you forever."
"Oh, I think I've already verily earned the title of most loathsome." Loki laughs. "Trust me, I can't sink any lower."
"Then the only way to go is up, yeah?"
Loki doesn't answer, thus bringing the pair back to an awkward silence.
Returning his eyes to the ceiling, Thor sighs long and deep.
"Please... Just tell me father is alright."
Tis not a question. Not one in which he wants to know the answer to, anyway. Not if the truth is worse than fiction.
"And should I say 'aye'? What then?" Loki asks. "Even if I say he is, how could you believe that what I say is true? What if it's a lie? Would you still wish for me to tell you what you long to hear?"
Thor remains quiet. He knows that he can't believe everything that Loki says. Not entirely. But he wants to. He needs to keep that hope alive. For his father, and for Loki's sake, as well.
"Odin's fine, Thor." After a moment, Loki answers softly. "I promise you he's fine."
Whether or not it's true, Thor takes his statement at face value. Tis not that he believes in the words that Loki says, but he believes in his brother enough to give him this chance. A foolish decision, some might say, but tis his decision to make. Because when it comes to family, there's nothing he won't do. Even if it ends up biting him in the arse. As what tends to happen whenever Loki is involved.
And so the room becomes quiet. Both brothers lost in their deep thoughts. Reflecting on their heart to heart. All that has transpired in this one little room. With extra emphasis on the little. Far too small for either of these Gods, or their larger than life egos. And yet they've found comfort. An uneasy alliance, but peace all the same. As has Loki found what it was he was looking for. Hope. Even if he won't admit it. Well... Maybe just this once.
"Thor?" Loki asks, breaking the silence.
"Hnn?" Thor responds, back to staring at the ceiling.
Loki goes quiet again, as if searching for the words. Something profound and with great meaning to put it all into perspective everything that he is feeling and wanting to say. Until finally, he just goes for it.
"Thank you."
Two little words and yet they're so difficult to say. Painstaking, even. Like pulling teeth for the Master of Mischief and Lies.
Thor cracks a grin.
Despite the constant competition for Father's love and attention, there was a time when Thor and Loki really were quite close. However bitter their sibling rivalry had become, never was there any doubt that they truly ever loved one another. And tonight? For the first time in Gods know how long, it verily feels like old times. So Thor smiles. It feels as if he's got his brother back. Even if only for this moment.
Loki's eyes grow wide, terrified as Thor climbs to his feet.
"What are you doing?" He begs the question.
"I'm going to give you a hug." Thor replies, closing the gap.
Sitting upright with a start, Loki scuttles backwards, feet all tangled in the sheets as he tries in vain to escape.
"N-No. That's quite alright!"
He presses himself against the wall, making himself as thin and flat as possible. But it's no use. Thor grabs hold of one of his lean arms and reels him right in.
"Come 'ere, you!"
The elder brother clomps right on him, smothering the little Giant inside his great big arms, rendering Loki nothing more than a prisoner encased within Thor's mighty hug.
"I take it back! I take it back!" Loki cries, his cheek smushed against Thor's naked chest. His nose right up inside his armpit. "Get off me! Get off!"
The Odinson laughs a mighty laugh whilst Loki struggles in his embrace. His arms flailing all about in the air as the younger brother battles to breathe beneath his elder's massive build.
And only when Thor's had his fill and Loki can take no more, does the God of Thunder finally let his brother free.
"Ugh. I'm all sticky." Loki cries, his face beet-red and hair all a mess. "You sweat like a Muspell hog, you know that?"
Still, Thor laughs. Even as he reclaims his spot on the floor. He can't for the life of him remember the last time he's laughed like this. Especially with Loki.
"Please. Do me a favor. The next time you feel some such urge coming on, just hit me with your hammer again, will you? Any punishment you deliver would be a hundred times more enjoyable than THAT torture."
The Puny God begins grooming himself with his hands, running his fingers through his black mane to try and fix himself after the ordeal. But just as he finally begins to settle and find some semblance of dignity and composure, he discovers something completely unnerving.
"Oh... Oh, Gods." Loki starts to freak out. "I... I have your hair in my mouth."
Sticking his fingers in his mouth, Loki frantically pursues the rogue hair tickling at the back of his throat. Gagging like a cat with a hairball whilst Thor laughs on. Tears streaming down his cheeks, he's going at it so hard.
Finally, Loki fishes out that fiendish, golden strand. So close to vomiting as he pulls the culprit from deep down within his throat.
"I loathe you." He mutters breathlessly, his chest heaving as he looks out over the side of the bed towards Thor rolling on the floor.
"I love you, too, little brother." Thor grins up at him.
Earning the childish older brother a pillow thrown right smack to the face.
Shoutout to Darryl! Thor's puny, human roommate! GO TEAM THOR!